Jeff & Diane Gwirtz

Yep - I've lived through it. Deschooling can be very stressful.
It's kind of like three steps forward - 2 steps back. I'd totally
unschool, then add some math because I panicked - then totally
unschool. My kids were probably more confused than anything. We
were finally able to let it all go, let the tv and video games play
themselves out, and let it work. It still goes in spurts. Just
last night my 13 year old said that he didn't feel like he was doing
enough. Today he has read physics, American history, Scientific
American, played the
guitar, and designed a desk he wants to build. In his words just
now as he was reading over my shoulder, "You shouldn't even mention
that they should be doing something, because then they force
themselves, and the whole process of deschooling and returning to a
love of learning takes longer." How's that? I do think I slowed him
down in the beginning with my own concerns.

My two best recommendation are -

1. Get busy learning yourself and let them see you following your own
interests.
2. READ, READ, READ about unschooling, deschooling, learning styles,
etc. There are a lot of resources on the net. Besides that I like
to read Home Ed Mag, Growing without Schooling Mag, _The Unschooling
Handbook_by Mary Griffith, and _The Teenage Liberation Handbook_by
Grace LLewellyn. Also, anything by John Holt.

Diane from KS
jagwirtz@...

rick and deborah farrington

i wrote you along message and while sending my computer crashed:-(
anyway heres the short version,
dh thing: yeah
read
stay here with us
glad to get back to unschooling subject
Deborah

Bonknit@... wrote:

> From: Bonknit@...
>
> In a message dated 10/5/99 12:21:19 PM Eastern Daylight Time,
> megates@... writes:
>
> << Punished By Rewards, by Alfie Kohn, addresses the issue of how to get
> children to obey. He questions that very assumption, that children
> should "obey" their parents. >>
>
> Hi everyone! This seems to be a good point for me to jump in. I have been
> lurking around for a couple of days and would now like to throw in a question.
>
> First I will introduce myself. I'm Laura the mom of 6 boys, grandma to 1
> boy and another due any day. My oldest 3 are all out of school. I have a
> sophomore still in ps. I am hsing my 2 youngest, 8 & 11 yro. for the first
> time. (I did hs the 11 yro. for 2nd grade then he repeated 2nd grade in ps)
> I like and believe in the unschool philosophy but am having a hard time
> translating it into everyday life.
> My main problem at the moment is dh has not even begun to understand it,
> therefore in order to continue hsing I find I have to do some type of paper
> work to show him. I find the biggest obstacle to be me and the boys.
> I realized that I am having a hard time getting past my own yrs of ps and the
> 20+ yrs I have spent as the mother of ps children. Boy was I indoctrinated.
> My other big issue is how to deal with becoming unchooled. Are there any
> moms or dads out there who have lived through this difficult time period. Any
> advice would be appreciated. I am finding the boys very difficult on and off.
> They criticize me for to little work and balk at work at other times. If I
> just let them go they would watch TV all day which hubby would not like and
> later they would tell folks I teach them nothing.
>
> Well, don't want to go on and on I'm sure if you have been there you
> understand. I am determined to keep going but some days I have to just sit
> down and cry.
> Thanks for listening.
>
> Laura
> <Bonknit@...>
>
>
> > Check it out!
> http://www.unschooling.com

[email protected]

In a message dated 10/5/99 12:21:19 PM Eastern Daylight Time,
megates@... writes:

<< Punished By Rewards, by Alfie Kohn, addresses the issue of how to get
children to obey. He questions that very assumption, that children
should "obey" their parents. >>

Hi everyone! This seems to be a good point for me to jump in. I have been
lurking around for a couple of days and would now like to throw in a question.

First I will introduce myself. I'm Laura the mom of 6 boys, grandma to 1
boy and another due any day. My oldest 3 are all out of school. I have a
sophomore still in ps. I am hsing my 2 youngest, 8 & 11 yro. for the first
time. (I did hs the 11 yro. for 2nd grade then he repeated 2nd grade in ps)
I like and believe in the unschool philosophy but am having a hard time
translating it into everyday life.
My main problem at the moment is dh has not even begun to understand it,
therefore in order to continue hsing I find I have to do some type of paper
work to show him. I find the biggest obstacle to be me and the boys.
I realized that I am having a hard time getting past my own yrs of ps and the
20+ yrs I have spent as the mother of ps children. Boy was I indoctrinated.
My other big issue is how to deal with becoming unchooled. Are there any
moms or dads out there who have lived through this difficult time period. Any
advice would be appreciated. I am finding the boys very difficult on and off.
They criticize me for to little work and balk at work at other times. If I
just let them go they would watch TV all day which hubby would not like and
later they would tell folks I teach them nothing.

Well, don't want to go on and on I'm sure if you have been there you
understand. I am determined to keep going but some days I have to just sit
down and cry.
Thanks for listening.

Laura
<Bonknit@...>

[email protected]

In a message dated 10/5/99 3:49:28 PM Eastern Daylight Time, jagwirtz@...
writes:

<< READ, READ, READ about unschooling, deschooling, learning styles,
etc. There are a lot of resources on the net. Besides that I like
to read Home Ed Mag, Growing without Schooling Mag, _The Unschooling
Handbook_by Mary Griffith, and _The Teenage Liberation Handbook_by
Grace LLewellyn. Also, anything by John Holt. >>

Thanks so much for your reply. For me the problem has been that I read
everything I could get my hands on. I liken it to Lamaze classes. You can
learn to breathe but it still hurts. I thought knowing so much we would whiz
through. Reality
is sooo... different, with real live thinking people. Books don't talk back.

I did start playing around with things. I realized I needed to do more
things with them than at them. Instead of helping them make a scrapbook I
needed to sit down and make my own. Then I found they wanted to do their
own. Slowly.....Oh so slowly the lightbulbs are going on.

Laura
<Bonknit@...>

[email protected]

Laura,
hugs and welcomes. I am sure you are going to get so much encouragement from
this list. I hate to think of anyone being so overwhelmed that they need to
cry. Homeschooling, in whatever form, should be a joy for both you and your
children.
I had to start my homeschooling journey by schooling at home, I mean with
strict curriculum, ect. That was to satisfy me, and my dh. Also, that was
my first experience with any style of homeschooling, and I thought that was
what you were supposed to do. WRONG!!! lol. That lasted about six weeks,
then I started picking my own curriculum. That lasted about a year and I was
ready to put the boys in school. A friend told me about a Relaxed Homescool
seminar goin on in some town I don't remember now, but we took the weekend
off and went. It was wonderful, and since then, this is our sixth year, I do
what works for our family and am constantly evolving my hs style. I tell DH
what I want him to know, in little increments, as he sees their progression.
Then I explain a little more. I say all this just to say, don't despair, I
can send you so many sites on the web, that will give the kids something
tangible to do, they can even pick what they want, like the How Stuff Works
site, or the Surfing the net with kids site. We get involved lots of days,
just by the "Cool fact of the day. Let me know if you want any sites, I will
be happy to email
Teresa

[email protected]

In a message dated 10/5/99 5:43:09 PM Eastern Daylight Time, Hsmotgo@...
writes:

<< I tell DH
what I want him to know, in little increments, as he sees their progression.

Then I explain a little more. I say all this just to say, don't despair, >>

Thanks so much. It's good to know that I'm not alone in the dh doesn't know
dept.
I also wish the boys would stop fighting.<sigh>

Laura

[email protected]

Hello... My name is Laura and I too am just starting to "unschool" my
children. I hs them in the curriculum way for a year and then I put them
back into ps. I just pulled them out again, because my husband and I feel it
is best for our family.... But I am wanting to do unschooling because I think
it is a more natural and logical way to learn.

I read an email that you sent to another person and you had mentioned
some web sites... I would be happy if you would send them to us... Thank you.


Laura

[email protected]

In a message dated 10/5/99 1:43:12 PM, Hsmotgo@... writes:

<< I say all this just to say, don't despair, I
can send you so many sites on the web, that will give the kids something
tangible to do, they can even pick what they want, like the How Stuff Works
site, or the Surfing the net with kids site. We get involved lots of days,
just by the "Cool fact of the day. Let me know if you want any sites, I will
be happy to email>>

Let me add that you can start at just one site, the Homeschool Association of
California site at

http://www.hsc.org

and find a wonderful selection of educational links. Just ONE of them, the
one for the San Francisco museum called the Exploratorium, has many many cool
science and history sites. And they emphasize and add new sites every month.

I strongly believe in unschooling. I like how the book titled _The Book of
Learning and Forgetting_, by Frank Smith explains that a traditional school's
approach to teaching is based on scientific research about the best way to
teach *nonsense*. If we aren't asking our kids to memorize meaningless,
unrelated information, there is no reason for them to learn that way.

There's a webpage with a detailed summary of this book, but I'm sorry to say
I can't find it in my notes. Maybe someone else on the list has it. (If no
one comes up with it in a few days, you can email me privately and I'll write
you a 2 paragraph description of the research.)

Best wishes,
Betsy

Lisa Bugg

There is a small review of the book on unschooling.com, but I too have had
the link to a page that covered the book in more detail. I believe Ann
Larson Fisher's page also has a review/link.

Lisa
----- Original Message -----
From: <ECSamHill@...>
To: <[email protected]>
Sent: Wednesday, October 06, 1999 9:25 AM
Subject: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] New HS seeks advice


> From: ECSamHill@...
>
>
> In a message dated 10/5/99 1:43:12 PM, Hsmotgo@... writes:
>
> << I say all this just to say, don't despair, I
> can send you so many sites on the web, that will give the kids something
> tangible to do, they can even pick what they want, like the How Stuff
Works
> site, or the Surfing the net with kids site. We get involved lots of
days,
> just by the "Cool fact of the day. Let me know if you want any sites, I
will
> be happy to email>>
>
> Let me add that you can start at just one site, the Homeschool Association
of
> California site at
>
> http://www.hsc.org
>
> and find a wonderful selection of educational links. Just ONE of them,
the
> one for the San Francisco museum called the Exploratorium, has many many
cool
> science and history sites. And they emphasize and add new sites every
month.
>
> I strongly believe in unschooling. I like how the book titled _The Book
of
> Learning and Forgetting_, by Frank Smith explains that a traditional
school's
> approach to teaching is based on scientific research about the best way to
> teach *nonsense*. If we aren't asking our kids to memorize meaningless,
> unrelated information, there is no reason for them to learn that way.
>
> There's a webpage with a detailed summary of this book, but I'm sorry to
say
> I can't find it in my notes. Maybe someone else on the list has it. (If
no
> one comes up with it in a few days, you can email me privately and I'll
write
> you a 2 paragraph description of the research.)
>
> Best wishes,
> Betsy
>
> > Check it out!
> http://www.unschooling.com
>
>