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>>I think, as with everything in life, one needs to take into context
each individual situation >>and go from there. >>>>

Faith, this is so true. Whatever we read or hear,we need to think about
how it aplies to our own circumstances and leave the rest behind. I also
apreciate your willingness to discuss this issue.

Punished By Rewards, by Alfie Kohn, addresses the issue of how to get
children to obey. He questions that very assumption, that children
should "obey" their parents. He suggests that a more useful long term
goal is to help children learn to make choices that lead to a moral
lifestyle. A child who learns only to do what he is told will be lost
when no one is there to tell him what to do. I recommend this book for
anyone who lives with children and has the long term goal of raising a
person who will someday take care of themselves and be a productive and
moral member of society. It also has good advice for those who supervise
others in the workforce. No, he does not recommend a chaotic household
where everyone does whatever they want -- he stresses cooperation and
considering a child's developmental level and most important, for the
parent to live a life of example. No matter what we say, kids learn by
what we do. And hitting a child is hitting, no matter what we call it.



Mary Ellen
We are shut up in schools and college recitation rooms for ten or fifteen
years,
and come out at last with a bellyful of words and do not know a thing.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

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