Carolyn Talarr

Hi,

I just *have* to come out of lurkdom to say more about GKGW and Ezzo in
general. I haven't intro'd myself yet but I will in a subsequent post.

Erin is positively diplomatic about her understated reply, but I'll go
further and say PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE don't fall for "GKGW". It's a huge
wrongheaded, uninformed, insidious, criminal (yes, really--in the UK they're
considering investigating the Ezzos for child abuse if they try to spread
the dogma over there) dangerous movement that skates right on the edge of
child abuse and seems to have sprouted and grown and taken over parents'
natural instincts.

Following the Ezzos' program has landed many many babies in NICU for
dehydration, failure-to-thrive, etc. and given children longterm trust and
food psychological problems. The AAP, and even Dobson and Ferber, if you
can believe it, have come out against Ezzo, Babywise, and its more extreme
counterpart, GKGW.

I can give you websites on or offlist if you want, and real cites, to
journal articles, etc. that document and take apart the multitude of
problems with Ezzo. Please, Faith or anyone else who's thinking of
"following" Ezzo, contact me and just hear many pediatricians',
psychologists', and other relevant professionals' thinking on how unwise
"Babywise" is.

Am I identifying myself too much here? :)

O.K., I'll do the official intro now.
In all seriousness about the Ezzo issue,
Carolyn



-----Original Message-----
From: MORELFAM@... <MORELFAM@...>
To: [email protected] <[email protected]>
Date: Sunday, October 03, 1999 4:26 PM
Subject: Fwd: [Unschooling-dotcom] Need advice


>
>In a message dated 10/1/99 10:21:35 PM, faithb@... writes:
>
><< I just went through a class at our church called Growing Kids God's
>Way. It was awesome! >>
>
>anyone looking into this class, please be aware there is heated controversy
>about it. if i were considering it, i would want to know that up front
so
>i could look into the concerns and check it out for myself.
>erin
>

[email protected]

In a message dated 10/3/99 5:28:07 PM Pacific Daylight Time,
talarr@... writes:

<< PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE don't fall for "GKGW". It's a huge
wrongheaded, uninformed, insidious, criminal (yes, really--in the UK they're
considering investigating the Ezzos for child abuse if they try to spread
the dogma over there) dangerous movement that skates right on the edge of
child abuse and seems to have sprouted and grown and taken over parents'
natural instincts. >>

I agree with this statement 100%. I've been doing some research on this
movement and it's very scary. Many of these people behave very cultish. I'm
doing what I can to disuade people I encounter from getting caught up in
these teachings. The folks I've met want so desperately to do the best for
their children. Ezzo claims that it's "God's way" and it can be hard for
parents to say no.

There are several websites which deal with the scriptural inaccuracies and
medical dangers of their program. As has been stated, several well known
church leaders and the Ezzo's own church have denounced them.

Kris

[email protected]

In a message dated 10/3/99 11:28:08 PM, LouisaEm@... writes:

<<Ezzo claims that it's "God's way" and it can be hard for
parents to say no.>>

I read half of his secular book, Babywise. He frequently states his opinions
and theories as if they were fact.

Betsy

[email protected]

In a message dated 99-10-04 10:46:16 EDT, you write:

<<
I read half of his secular book, Babywise. He frequently states his
opinions
and theories as if they were fact.

Betsy
>>
I hate that Babywise book!

faith buckley

I would like to thank you for the advice and the articles. I have read them
fully and feel deeply sorry for those poor parents. I myself had never heard
any controvery on this issue other than from child-centered parents, which I am
not, nor do I want to become. I definately will be looking into the sites you
recommended. This has definately sparked my curiousity.

But, my husband and I believe firmly in the teachings we learned in GKGW. We
have only taken that class. A friend of mine loaned me her book 'Preperation
for Parenting'. I have read only bits and peices out of it. I have tried some
of the feeding methods on my 2-1/2 month old and she is thriving fine. But it's
probably due to the fact that she was a chunk to begin with and remains over the
95 percentile in all: height/weight/head circ. She has started sleeping at
night for longer periods of time, but not all the way till 8am. I am not strict
at all with what I have read in that book. Although I certainly do not
feed-on-demand, I also know the sound of an "I'm hungry" cry, and I will not
hesitate to feed her even if it hasn't been the full amount of time.

I think, as with everything in life, one needs to take into context each
individual situation and go from there. The Ezzo's repeat this continuously
throughout the course. There is only one thing that I follow religiously (I
hate that word) and that is my relationship with Jesus Christ. Period. Other
than that I take things as they come and use advice from here and there. But I
always compare it to what Scripture has to say.

I DO NOT beat my kids, and I know no one was accusing me of this, but the Ezzo's
also do not tell anyone to do this. There is a severe difference between
beating and spanking. And, they teach spanking as a last resort punishment for
wrong behavior. The articles I read made it sound that at the slightest thing
your children do wrong you take out your club and beat them. That is not what
they teach! My husband and I learned a variety of ways to teach and train
your children to obey, yes, first time obedience. For the non-christians out
there this will not mean anything to you, but for those of you who are the
child-parent relationship is the training ground on how obedient we are going to
be to God. If we can't obey our parents the first time they speak, why would we
obey a God we can't even see the first time He speaks.

Most of the things said about the Ezzo's in the articles were about the
discipline part of everything but they also have a lot of neat ideas on how to
make it easier for your children to obey. Like the 5 minute warning. It's used
for things like dinner. Give your kids a 5 min. warning just to let them know
dinner's in 5 min. pick up toys in 5min. and it's easier for them to wind down
what they are doing and more likely they will obey when you say "ok, time to
pick up/time for dinner".

I think that before anyone is to slam something they need to read it first and
then judge for themselves. That is what I am going to do. Since I have already
read through the Ezzo's material I have the right to judge for myself and
research on these issues and say good or bad what I think. Again, thank you for
the insight that there was more to this than what I had heard.

Living for Him,
Faith

faith buckley

Carolyn,
In your post you said something about Dobson not agreeing with the Ezzo's.
Could you please let me know where you found that info. I very much respect Dr.
Dobson and I would like to read what he thinks about GKGW. Thank You. :-)

Living for Him
Faith

Carolyn Talarr wrote:

> From: "Carolyn Talarr" <talarr@...>
> The AAP, and even Dobson and Ferber, if you
> can believe it, have come out against Ezzo, Babywise, and its more extreme
> counterpart, GKGW.
>