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In a message dated 10/2/99 11:44:27 PM, jhawthorne@... writes:

<< No resentment or upset re: being "lied" to. She saw it
for what it was, an attempt on the parents part to delight their children
with a
magical play >>

<<We don't try to "trick" the children about Santa (who we have bring gifts
every
Christmas) but as they have grown up the older one finally asked point blank
about
Santa because she already had reasoned that it didn't really make sense. She
wasn't
disappointed as we merely confirmed what she knew. She then participated in
the
fiction with her sister.

We answer the questions with "What do you think?" and leave it at that
unless they
get to the point blank stage where they want confirmation or denial of their
opinion. I used to worry about it but am reassured by how the kids have
responded.
They really sense the intention of this kind of myth/game/play/theatre/ and
because
we do not try to "convince" them of the "reality" of the myth they don't seem
to feel
conflicted about it. Our love for them shines through it all.>>

joel,
what you have related is so very similar to my experience. glad to hear
another identify.
erin

From: Joel Hawthorne <jhawthorne@...>

In our family our six year old insisted on knowing what the Easter Bunny was all
about. She was asked what she thought and she said that she thought that Mama was
doing it. This was confirmed and my daughter chortled with laughter she thought it
was wonderful that mama was going around the house doing all this Easter stuff. She
thought it was funny too. No resentment or upset re: being "lied" to. She saw it
for what it was, an attempt on the parents part to delight their children with a
magical play (which for us has little religious significance). We have talked a
little bit about the many world religions which have their god figure either die or
be killed, and who then comes back to life. She is only moderately interested.

We don't try to "trick" the children about Santa (who we have bring gifts every
Christmas) but as they have grown up the older one finally asked point blank about
Santa because she already had reasoned that it didn't really make sense. She wasn't
disappointed as we merely confirmed what she knew. She then participated in the
fiction with her sister.

We answer the questions with "What do you think?" and leave it at that unless they
get to the point blank stage where they want confirmation or denial of their
opinion. I used to worry about it but am reassured by how the kids have responded.
They really sense the intention of this kind of myth/game/play/theatre/ and because
we do not try to "convince" them of the "reality" of the myth they don't seem to feel
conflicted about it. Our love for them shines through it all.

faith buckley wrote:

> From: faith buckley <faithb@...>
>
> > << << We do not do Santa (or
> > that bunny or fairy either) just cause it is like lying. >>
> >
> > <<When children realize that adults have
> > been lying to them about the easter bunny and Santa Claus, they
> > inevitably wonder what else they have been lied to about.>>
>
> A true story:
> I knew a mother that told her son about Santa and the easter bunny. One day,
> when he was about 4 or so, he heard that they weren't real and wanted an answer
> out of mommy. She told him that Santa was just a story and all of the good stuff
> about the giving spirit. But the question he came back with left her
> speechless! He asked her, "Then is Jesus real?" She realized that, as most
> children can't, her son couldn't differentiate between real and make-believe.
>
> Just something more to add to the conversation.
> Living for Him,
> Faith

--
best wishes
Joel

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