Wendy Silver

Hi,
I grew up waking and falling asleep to the TV. My parents had one in about every room of the house. I don't watch much TV as an adult. I have my days, but mostly I have many other activities.
Now, my dh didn't always have a TV, and when his family did it was only one or two snowy channels, and very limited. As an adult, he loves TV, and vegges out watching it way more than I ever do. I used to think, "oh, too bad it was so limited to him as a child, maybe he wouldn't be so obsessed."

His brother is the same way, and they both have to have it really loud and the lights preferably off. Also, they are always shushing everyone.

Not really trying to make a strong point, just my TV story.
Wendy
PS
I also think about his sheltered childhood and teen years, and wonder if that is why his was so out of control in his 20's. Maybe that is just him.
Oh, he'd just love me telling his life on this huge list.

wew99@...



[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Bonni Sollars

My husband also had tvs in all the rooms in his house. His dad is a real
tv and movie buff. But there was a lot of fighting in their house and
not much positive connecting. So, tv was either a buffer from the
fighting or the only way people interracted. My husband loves his night
shows. I used to not watch tv much, but now I do because I realize to my
husband it means connecting with me. As a child, I always had unlimited
tv, not that I over-watched or underwatched it. There were times when I
watched a lot and other times I didn't watch any. But I can't stand to
have the tv on all the time, like a lot of people I know do. It is
because of the way my mind is, or something. I cannot not pay attention
to it if it is on. Also, I can't forget it when it's over. I go over
and over it again in my mind. To me, the tv is like going to the
theatre. When the show is on, it's got my attention. I can't hold a
conversation while it's on. It's also very hard for me to follow the
dialogue, so I really have to concentrate. Maybe this is because I read
so many books growing up, i.e., I can't follow an oral dialogue the way I
can a written one. I used to read excessively, a real bookworm. (I
would focus all my energy on what I was reading, and go into another
little universe and have trouble shaking it off when I was in real life.
Sort of like an actor who can't get out of character even when he's not
acting anymore.) Maybe if as a child tv was taught as a value, good or
bad, it would affect one's viewing as an adult. But I think enjoying it,
having it on all the time, hating it, ignoring it, or being hypnotized by
it has less to do with whether or not you watched too much of it growing
up, and more to do with an individual's unique tastes and physiology and
psychology.
Bonni

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Lynda

Back in the dark ages, we were the first family on our block to get a
television. All the dad's would come over to watch the Friday Night Fights
(I can still hum the theme song <g>). I remember that television and can
even tell you where it sat in the livingroom. We were censored and limited
to amount of time spent in front of the "boob tube." I still find most of
it boring and simple minded morphine for the masses.

Hubby had unlimited television and he watches tons of it now.

Lynda
----- Original Message -----
From: "Wendy Silver" <wew99@...>
To: <[email protected]>
Sent: Friday, April 19, 2002 11:27 PM
Subject: [Unschooling-dotcom] tv viewing


> Hi,
> I grew up waking and falling asleep to the TV. My parents had one in
about every room of the house. I don't watch much TV as an adult. I have my
days, but mostly I have many other activities.
> Now, my dh didn't always have a TV, and when his family did it was only
one or two snowy channels, and very limited. As an adult, he loves TV, and
vegges out watching it way more than I ever do. I used to think, "oh, too
bad it was so limited to him as a child, maybe he wouldn't be so obsessed."
>
> His brother is the same way, and they both have to have it really loud and
the lights preferably off. Also, they are always shushing everyone.
>
> Not really trying to make a strong point, just my TV story.
> Wendy
> PS
> I also think about his sheltered childhood and teen years, and wonder if
that is why his was so out of control in his 20's. Maybe that is just him.
> Oh, he'd just love me telling his life on this huge list.
>
> wew99@...
>
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
>
> ~~~ Don't forget! If you change the topic, change the subject line! ~~~
>
> To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
> [email protected]
>
> Visit the Unschooling website:
> http://www.unschooling.com
>
>
>
> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/
>
>

[email protected]

In a message dated 4/19/2002 11:32:14 PM Pacific Daylight Time,
wew99@... writes:


> I also think about his sheltered childhood and teen years, and wonder if
> that is why his was so out of control in his 20's. Maybe that is just him.
> Oh, he'd just love me telling his life on this huge list.

Its okay - you left it to our imaginations <BEG>!!!

--pam


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

rumpleteasermom

--- In Unschooling-dotcom@y..., Bonni Sollars <BSOLLARS@J...> wrote:
(I
> would focus all my energy on what I was reading, and go into another
> little universe and have trouble shaking it off when I was in real
life.
> Sort of like an actor who can't get out of character even when he's
not
> acting anymore.)

Bonni,

I've never heard anyone else say this but it sounds like what I have
to guard against when I am reading. I can get so wrapped up in that
other 'world' that when I finish the book or series of books, I go
into a minor depression. I've learned to control it, but in the past,
finishing a good series could make me non-functional for at least a
week!

Bridget

joanna514

--- In Unschooling-dotcom@y..., "Lynda" <lurine@s...> wrote:
> Back in the dark ages, we were the first family on our block to get
a
> television. All the dad's would come over to watch the Friday
Night Fights
> (I can still hum the theme song <g>). I remember that television
and can
> even tell you where it sat in the livingroom. We were censored and
limited
> to amount of time spent in front of the "boob tube." I still find
most of
> it boring and simple minded morphine for the masses.
>
> Hubby had unlimited television and he watches tons of it now.
>
> Lynda

I can tell you stories of my youth and our free reign of tv, and how
much I watched(a lot),and as one of 7 siblings, who watched a lot and
who didn't. And I can tell you stories of my friends and how some
literally never turned off the tv in their house, yet, noone ever
seemed to watch it. To others who were restricted. All of it seems
to me, to be a personality thing. Restricted people binge,
restricted people don't own the "thing"(ewww). TV lovers, to
moderate, to haters all have different pasts.
I now, watch very little tv. My kids watch more. It aint nothin but
a thang.
Joanna

[email protected]

In a message dated 4/21/2002 7:03:10 AM Pacific Daylight Time,
Wilkinson6@... writes:


> All of it seems
> to me, to be a personality thing. Restricted people binge,
> restricted people don't own the "thing"(ewww). TV lovers, to
> moderate, to haters all have different pasts.
> I now, watch very little tv. My kids watch more. It aint nothin but
> a thang.

Yes that was my point too - that if everyone told their own "tv stories" -
we'd find that there is no specific way it will always turn out. Just NOT
having tv doesn't guarantee anything and neither does tv-watching guarantee
anything. It isn't the TV, itself, that is the real "thang" - to misquote
Joanna <g>. It is what ELSE is going on in the family. In a family where the
kids go to school/daycare and have homework, music lessons, scouts, dance,
sports, and Kumon math - time is going to be so scarce that tv-viewing is
going to be taking away from time spent talking to mom and dad or siblings
and from time to play and read and so on. But in an unschooling family, there
is time for all that and some tv too. It just is really really different for
people who are unschooling. And, I'm willing to believe that there are kids
who are adversely affected by tv and that parents recognize it. I think it
must be very rare. I think that more often the parents just don't like the
idea of tv because it "looks" like kids are doing anything productive. I
think that sometimes parents are just hoping that turning off the tv will be
the magic that will ensure their kids will grow up perfect in every way <G>.

--pamS


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Alan & Brenda Leonard

Bonni,
This sounds just like me. I can't ignore it, so I just don't turn it on
much. I also hate that blue-flicker tv's do.
brenda


on 4/21/02 12:52 AM, [email protected] at
[email protected] wrote:

>But I can't stand to
> have the tv on all the time, like a lot of people I know do. It is
> because of the way my mind is, or something. I cannot not pay attention
> to it if it is on. Also, I can't forget it when it's over. I go over
> and over it again in my mind. To me, the tv is like going to the
> theatre. When the show is on, it's got my attention. I can't hold a
> conversation while it's on. It's also very hard for me to follow the
> dialogue, so I really have to concentrate. Maybe this is because I read
> so many books growing up, i.e., I can't follow an oral dialogue the way I
> can a written one. I used to read excessively, a real bookworm. (I
> would focus all my energy on what I was reading, and go into another
> little universe and have trouble shaking it off when I was in real life.
> Sort of like an actor who can't get out of character even when he's not
> acting anymore.) Maybe if as a child tv was taught as a value, good or
> bad, it would affect one's viewing as an adult. But I think enjoying it,
> having it on all the time, hating it, ignoring it, or being hypnotized by
> it has less to do with whether or not you watched too much of it growing
> up, and more to do with an individual's unique tastes and physiology and
> psychology.
> Bonni

rumpleteasermom

Oddly, after the conversation here, I am more convinced that there are
other kids out there with problems similar to Wyndham's. And my
estimation of how many has increased not decreased.

But that does not address the issue of how best to deal with it. I
don't think just taking it away for good is going to help them.
In fact it may hurt them because when they are adults, the problem
will still be there and the control will be gone and no self-control
will have been found. I think it is better to addressit as a problem
as soon as it is recognized and enlist the kidlets help in finding
control.

Bridget


--- In Unschooling-dotcom@y..., PSoroosh@a... wrote:
And, I'm willing to believe that there
are kids
> who are adversely affected by tv and that parents recognize it. I
think it
> must be very rare. I think that more often the parents just don't
like the
> idea of tv because it "looks" like kids are doing anything
productive. I
> think that sometimes parents are just hoping that turning off the tv
will be
> the magic that will ensure their kids will grow up perfect in every
way <G>.
>
> --pamS
>

[email protected]

In a message dated 4/22/2002 7:45:57 AM Pacific Daylight Time,
rumpleteasermom@... writes:


> Oddly, after the conversation here, I am more convinced that there are
> other kids out there with problems similar to Wyndham's. And my
> estimation of how many has increased not decreased.
>
> But that does not address the issue of how best to deal with it. I
> don't think just taking it away for good is going to help them.
> In fact it may hurt them because when they are adults, the problem
> will still be there and the control will be gone and no self-control
> will have been found. I think it is better to addressit as a problem
> as soon as it is recognized and enlist the kidlets help in finding
> control.

This is the way most of us would probably deal with other issues too, that
seem problematic for a child. If a kid seemed to always have problems in some
certain area of life, we'd work with them on it, right? Seems like a
reasonable approach to me, too.

--pamS


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Bonni Sollars

Bridget, I actually went for fifteen years without reading a fiction
book, out of concern for my mental health. I read a lot of how to's and
other nonfictions, and I read children's stories to my kids. But reading
fiction for myself was something I didn't want to get into, after almost
nonstop fiction from age six to twenty. Last year I took it up again,
and do occasionally when I have the time and inclination. It's sort of
like a drug, if I pick up a fiction book, I don't put it down until it's
done and goodbye to normal routines until I'm out of the "fog". So now,
I "self-regulate".
Bonni

Bonni Sollars

Brenda, my husband falls asleep to the tv. I have to wear earplugs and
eye covers, which I used to sleep days when I worked graveyard, otherwise
I'm awake until he falls asleep. Now I'm asleep before him.
Bonni

[email protected]

. It's sort of
like a drug, if I pick up a fiction book, I don't put it down until it's
done and goodbye to normal routines until I'm out of the "fog". So now,
I "self-regulate".
Bonni

I am just like this Bonni! In college I once wrote a paper on novels being
my drug of choice.
~Elissa Cleaveland
"It is nothing short of a miracle that the modern methods of instruction
have
not yet entirely strangled the holy curiosity of inquiry." A. Einstein

[email protected]

In a message dated 4/23/02 6:50:31 AM, ElissaJC@... writes:

<< In college I once wrote a paper on novels being
my drug of choice. >>

And because of school being what it is, kids who read novels are considered
GOOD kids, studious kids, bright kids. No matter that the novel is about sex
and drugs and murder, the vision of someone reading a book is soothing in
this culture. If the kid sitting next to the reader (the reader would have
been me) is drawing some REALLY cool pictures with details of WWII planes,
that is BAD, dumb, a waste of time and paper. If another kid is looking out
the window translating new things he's learned into Tewa (what they speak in
Santa Clara Pueblo), it looks like he's doing NOTHING. (But at least he's
not wasting paper). And if another kid is writing a note to a friend who
REALLY needs some friendship and support, that note will be confiscated and
torn up and they'll both be in trouble. But that kid who's reading about
hookers and the mafia is a GOOD KID!

Sandra

susan marie

Hi,

(newbie here, trying to catch up :-)

We have friends who allow almost no tv watching, whereas we have lots of
tv's and videos. When these two girls come over they are mesmerized by
the tv -- I'll see one of these girls standing almost nose to the tv,
staring at it. My kids are baffled - why would anyone want to watch tv
when there are friends to play with and interesting things to do? We
discuss a lot about choosing what to watch on television and making sure
it's worth your time. We also sometimes like it on for background noise,
and my eight yo dd and I had a discussion on good channels to put on for
background noise - she was complaining about the lousy stuff that was on
the kids channels during certain times - so we looked at A&E, History
Channel, Discovery and discussed those. Hubby and I tape shows and watch
them when we get a chance and then skip any that don't hold our
interest. Like a lot of things, there's good stuff on television and
junk. It isn't evil, isn't great -- it's all on how you use it. I'm a
news junkie and a big A&E fan, so I generally put those on when I want
some noise. Hubby goes for espn, oldest likes the animal planet. And
lots of times, of course, we turn it off.

peace,
Susan

On Saturday, April 20, 2002, at 02:27 AM, Wendy Silver wrote:

> Hi,
>   I grew up waking and falling asleep to the TV. My parents had one in
> about every room of the house. I don't watch much TV as an adult. I
> have my days, but  mostly I have many other activities.
> Now, my dh didn't always have a TV, and when his family did it was only
> one or two snowy channels, and very limited. As an adult, he loves TV,
> and vegges out watching it way more than I ever do. I used to think,
> "oh, too bad it was so limited to him as a child, maybe he wouldn't be
> so obsessed."
>
> His brother is the same way, and they both have to have it really loud
> and the lights preferably off. Also, they are always shushing everyone.
>
> Not really trying to make a strong point, just my TV story.
> Wendy 
> PS
> I also think about his sheltered childhood and teen years, and wonder
> if that is why his was so out of control in his 20's. Maybe that is
> just him.
> Oh, he'd just love me telling his life on this huge list.
>
> wew99@...
>
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>

>
>
> ~~~ Don't forget! If you change the topic, change the subject line! ~~~
>
> To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
> [email protected]
>
> Visit the Unschooling website:
> http://www.unschooling.com
>
>
>
> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.
Peace,
Susan

There is nothing so secular that it cannot be sacred, and that is one of
the deepest messages of the Incarnation. -- Madeleine L'Engle





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