Need Help!
Corina Crane
Hello,
I'm in need of some unschooling support/advice. My oldest (11) is taking a grade 8 math course so that he'll be able to take some course he wants to take. He agreed to this! He wanted this!
But...now the course is incredibly boring! He has a very good "math sense" so even if it's stuff he doesn't know he "gets" it right away. So now he doesn't want to do the course. I've reminded him that there's a reason he has to get it done (to take the course he does like). So he says in true 11 year old fashion "FINE, I don't want the other courses!".
Here's the problem...I know he does. How much push should I give him? If he quits, he'll regrett it later. I've tried explaining to him that sometimes you need to play the game. Which I hate, but it's true. In my own career I have to "play the game" to succeed, because I don't have a degree.
Ok, this is all coming out wrong and going to sound very un-unschoolish :), but still some words of wisdom perhaps?
Corina
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
I'm in need of some unschooling support/advice. My oldest (11) is taking a grade 8 math course so that he'll be able to take some course he wants to take. He agreed to this! He wanted this!
But...now the course is incredibly boring! He has a very good "math sense" so even if it's stuff he doesn't know he "gets" it right away. So now he doesn't want to do the course. I've reminded him that there's a reason he has to get it done (to take the course he does like). So he says in true 11 year old fashion "FINE, I don't want the other courses!".
Here's the problem...I know he does. How much push should I give him? If he quits, he'll regrett it later. I've tried explaining to him that sometimes you need to play the game. Which I hate, but it's true. In my own career I have to "play the game" to succeed, because I don't have a degree.
Ok, this is all coming out wrong and going to sound very un-unschoolish :), but still some words of wisdom perhaps?
Corina
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 4/10/02 10:02:19 AM, corina_crane@... writes:
<< If he quits, he'll regrett it later. >>
If he stays, he'll regret it now. And it might turn him against ever wanting
whatever the next course up is.
<<He agreed to this! He wanted this!>>
He agreed without knowing what it would be like. You can't hold an eleven
year old to something he had never experienced before.
Would you hold yourself to finish a course you really hated?
If he has good math sense and understands the concepts, would the second
course let him test in by showing he understands the prerequisite concepts?
If the second course is likewise boring, will he want to drop that one?
I'm curious about what course could be so wonderful that you want to press
boredom, but so useful that he can't find the information elsewhere and learn
it quickly as he's learning the math in this course.
There are websites and videos and CDRom games for all kinds of math. What's
the second course? Maybe people here can give you resources for him to
explore that information on his own.
Sandra
<< If he quits, he'll regrett it later. >>
If he stays, he'll regret it now. And it might turn him against ever wanting
whatever the next course up is.
<<He agreed to this! He wanted this!>>
He agreed without knowing what it would be like. You can't hold an eleven
year old to something he had never experienced before.
Would you hold yourself to finish a course you really hated?
If he has good math sense and understands the concepts, would the second
course let him test in by showing he understands the prerequisite concepts?
If the second course is likewise boring, will he want to drop that one?
I'm curious about what course could be so wonderful that you want to press
boredom, but so useful that he can't find the information elsewhere and learn
it quickly as he's learning the math in this course.
There are websites and videos and CDRom games for all kinds of math. What's
the second course? Maybe people here can give you resources for him to
explore that information on his own.
Sandra
[email protected]
In a message dated 4/10/2002 9:02:16 AM Pacific Daylight Time,
corina_crane@... writes:
unpleasant now, especially something that drags on a while, just to get the
chance to do something else that we want to do later.
Here is one idea for you to chew on. Let it go knowing he'll learn something
from the process anyway. It isn't the end of the world if he gives up and
doesn't do the math course and, therefore, doesn't get to do the other thing
and regrets it later. He'll learn from that, too, about how NOT perservering
has consequences. Understanding that, he'll eventually be able to cope with
having to "play the game" if it is necessary and he wants something enough.
Also - another good skill is to figure out another way to "play the game." Is
there really no other way to get what he wants? Try brainstorming, together,
all the possible ways - include even the most farfetched silly unlikely
ideas. Then look at them and see if any can be turned into something that
might be actually workable. Thinking outside the box is hard - we often
reject ideas that seem outlandish - but are really doable if we just have
enough willingness to try something different.
We could do some brainstorming here, too, if you tell us what it is he wants
to do and why the math course is required.
--pamS
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
corina_crane@... writes:
> Here's the problem...I know he does. How much push should I give him? IfI know this problem very well. It takes a TON of maturity to do something
> he quits, he'll regrett it later. I've tried explaining to him that
> sometimes you need to play the game. Which I hate, but it's true. In my
> own career I have to "play the game" to succeed, because I don't have a
> degree.
>
> Ok, this is all coming out wrong and going to sound very un-unschoolish :),
> but still some words of wisdom perhaps?
unpleasant now, especially something that drags on a while, just to get the
chance to do something else that we want to do later.
Here is one idea for you to chew on. Let it go knowing he'll learn something
from the process anyway. It isn't the end of the world if he gives up and
doesn't do the math course and, therefore, doesn't get to do the other thing
and regrets it later. He'll learn from that, too, about how NOT perservering
has consequences. Understanding that, he'll eventually be able to cope with
having to "play the game" if it is necessary and he wants something enough.
Also - another good skill is to figure out another way to "play the game." Is
there really no other way to get what he wants? Try brainstorming, together,
all the possible ways - include even the most farfetched silly unlikely
ideas. Then look at them and see if any can be turned into something that
might be actually workable. Thinking outside the box is hard - we often
reject ideas that seem outlandish - but are really doable if we just have
enough willingness to try something different.
We could do some brainstorming here, too, if you tell us what it is he wants
to do and why the math course is required.
--pamS
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Bonni Sollars
Have you considered challenging the course? Some schools let you do
this. They give you a test and if you pass it by a certain percentage,
they pass you on to the next course.
Bonni
this. They give you a test and if you pass it by a certain percentage,
they pass you on to the next course.
Bonni
Lynda
Does he actually "have" to take the coarse or can you talk to the instructor
of the other coarse and ask if the prerequisite if taking the class or
having the knowledge the class provides.
In college you can challenge the coarse and show you have the knowledge,
perhaps this would work for your son.
Lynda
of the other coarse and ask if the prerequisite if taking the class or
having the knowledge the class provides.
In college you can challenge the coarse and show you have the knowledge,
perhaps this would work for your son.
Lynda
----- Original Message -----
From: "Corina Crane" <corina_crane@...>
To: <[email protected]>
Sent: Wednesday, April 10, 2002 9:01 AM
Subject: [Unschooling-dotcom] Need Help!
>
> Hello,
>
> I'm in need of some unschooling support/advice. My oldest (11) is taking
a grade 8 math course so that he'll be able to take some course he wants to
take. He agreed to this! He wanted this!
>
> But...now the course is incredibly boring! He has a very good "math
sense" so even if it's stuff he doesn't know he "gets" it right away. So
now he doesn't want to do the course. I've reminded him that there's a
reason he has to get it done (to take the course he does like). So he says
in true 11 year old fashion "FINE, I don't want the other courses!".
>
> Here's the problem...I know he does. How much push should I give him? If
he quits, he'll regrett it later. I've tried explaining to him that
sometimes you need to play the game. Which I hate, but it's true. In my
own career I have to "play the game" to succeed, because I don't have a
degree.
>
> Ok, this is all coming out wrong and going to sound very un-unschoolish
:), but still some words of wisdom perhaps?
>
> Corina
>
>
>
> ---------------------------------
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> Yahoo! Tax Center - online filing with TurboTax
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
> To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
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>
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>
>
>
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>
>
Tia Leschke
>I'm in need of some unschooling support/advice. My oldest (11) is takingMore details needed here. <g>
>a grade 8 math course so that he'll be able to take some course he wants
>to take. He agreed to this! He wanted this!
Is this correspondance or an actual classroom thing? What is the exact
requirement for the course he wants to take? Would they accept his just
writing the final test? Maybe he could just study the stuff on his own and
write each chapter test.
>Here's the problem...I know he does. How much push should I give him? IfRegrets can be a learning tool. Is this the only chance he's going to have
>he quits, he'll regrett it later.
to do this? That would make a difference.
> I've tried explaining to him that sometimes you need to play theYou'd probably have to "play the game" even if you had a degree. The
> game. Which I hate, but it's true. In my own career I have to "play the
> game" to succeed, because I don't have a degree.
question is, does he want it badly enough to play the game?
Tia
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
Eleanor Roosevelt
*********************************************
Tia Leschke
leschke@...
On Vancouver Island
Corina Crane
Thanks guys!
It's really hard to reply to digests, because I can't pick and choose easily what to copy.
So anyways....the advice was just what the doctor ordered! I realized almost instantly that I have the problem not my son. The reasons for him taking the course at all are not as important as learning what he wants.
Then, just to go against me I'm sure LOL, he went ahead and worked on his math this morning and said "gee that was easy, I should just do this every morning!"
But I'm leaving it in his hands (I hope I can keep my mouth shut). Yes there are otherways for him to do it, but at this point in time he wants the easiest and fastest and this is it. Same for the course he actually wants (computer programming and 3d stuff). I know there's lots of places to get it as does he, but he wants a course so he can just do what he's told for a while (it's correspondence) I think that's a fair want. Sometimes I like courses that just "tell me what to do" also. It gives my brain a rest! LOL
Thanks again...I'm trying to stick to the path. I know what's right, but have a heck of a lot of old tapes playing!
Corina
---------------------------------
Do You Yahoo!?
Yahoo! Tax Center - online filing with TurboTax
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
It's really hard to reply to digests, because I can't pick and choose easily what to copy.
So anyways....the advice was just what the doctor ordered! I realized almost instantly that I have the problem not my son. The reasons for him taking the course at all are not as important as learning what he wants.
Then, just to go against me I'm sure LOL, he went ahead and worked on his math this morning and said "gee that was easy, I should just do this every morning!"
But I'm leaving it in his hands (I hope I can keep my mouth shut). Yes there are otherways for him to do it, but at this point in time he wants the easiest and fastest and this is it. Same for the course he actually wants (computer programming and 3d stuff). I know there's lots of places to get it as does he, but he wants a course so he can just do what he's told for a while (it's correspondence) I think that's a fair want. Sometimes I like courses that just "tell me what to do" also. It gives my brain a rest! LOL
Thanks again...I'm trying to stick to the path. I know what's right, but have a heck of a lot of old tapes playing!
Corina
---------------------------------
Do You Yahoo!?
Yahoo! Tax Center - online filing with TurboTax
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
rumpleteasermom
--- In Unschooling-dotcom@y..., Corina Crane <corina_crane@y...>
wrote:
wants the easiest and fastest and this is it. Same for the course he
actually wants (computer programming and 3d stuff). I know there's
lots of places to get it as does he, but he wants a course so he can
just do what he's told for a while (it's correspondence) I think
that's a fair want. Sometimes I like courses that just "tell me what
to do" also. It gives my brain a rest! LOL
ones? Are the cheap?
Bridget
wrote:
>Yes there are otherways for him to do it, but at this point in time he
> But I'm leaving it in his hands (I hope I can keep my mouth shut).
wants the easiest and fastest and this is it. Same for the course he
actually wants (computer programming and 3d stuff). I know there's
lots of places to get it as does he, but he wants a course so he can
just do what he's told for a while (it's correspondence) I think
that's a fair want. Sometimes I like courses that just "tell me what
to do" also. It gives my brain a rest! LOL
>right, but have a heck of a lot of old tapes playing!
> Thanks again...I'm trying to stick to the path. I know what's
>So, where is the correspondence course from? Are there other computer
> Corina
>
ones? Are the cheap?
Bridget