[email protected]

I sent this to the Pastor of my church, but am in need of some heavy support.
It has been a long road for our family, and we deal with emotional and mental
problems with Tiffers all the time from the last series of visits with her
bio mom. I am just so sad.
thanks for listening
Stephanie

<< Thad and Jerilynn-
Ron and I married in May 98. We both have children of previous
relationships, but we have the intention of adopting each other's children
(and having more) to join our family together in love and the final bond of
commitment. This my be odd to you, but it is what we feel. So on to what is
going on.
Before we got married, we decided that Tiffany would be first in the
adoption, because she is the one with the most to gain. Her Biological mother
was willing to sign, and there are several problems surrounding her mother,
including Tiffany's appearance, and sudden fears and problems that we had to
deal with, and are still dealing with. On the 11th of October we will have
the money. We had the papers and we are just waiting for the funds to get
this finished. It has been a wonderful thought knowing that Tiffany would
finally feel secure and know that she was finally loved by a "Mommy."
About a month and a half ago, Tiffany's bio mom showed up here, but she
only wanted to know about the adoption, not about Tiffany. We told her that
we were waiting for funds, and she even offered to pay. We cut a vacation
short to be here at the house, just in case she showed up to pay for
Tiffany's adoption.
Yesterday, she was at the door again. She had court papers over 2 years
old, saying that she wanted to take Tiffany for her visitation. WHAT? We told
her to contact the Friend of the Court, and what about the adoption. She
flatly stated that she had changed her mind.
We have made several calls to the county offices. We have even tried the
deal that the courts, themselves use in child abandonment cases. If a child
is not visited by a parent for 2 consecutive years, the court can petition a
motion of abandonment. Today we were informed that this is not the actual
case. There needs to be a nonpayment of substantial child support along with
the visitation refusal. In the 2 years that Tiffany has not been contacted,
we have received less than $300, and it was received only after the court
issued a warrant for the mother, and she was indeed arrested. I am thinking
that the same happened yesterday. (that she was again arrested)
I am so disheartened and am crying off and on. Tiffany does not know this
woman, and thinks of me as mommy, as if someone could not already see that.
Yesterday, Tiffany wanted to do everything by my side. She usually holds
Daddy's hand, and is a Daddy's girl, but I think that she felt the pain, and
chose to grip on me.
No offense, but this stinks. I have been praying, and I am looking for
the "silver lining." Ron is going to try to talk to her, and see about still
being able to finally rid our beautiful child of any bleakness in her life.
Right now it is just hard to see the good in this.
Thanks for "listening"
Blessings
Stephanie >>


Thad and Jerilynn-
Ron and I married in May 98. We both have children of previous
relationships, but we have the intention of adopting each other's children
(and having more) to join our family together in love and the final bond of
commitment. This my be odd to you, but it is what we feel. So on to what is
going on.
Before we got married, we decided that Tiffany would be first in the
adoption, because she is the one with the most to gain. Her Biological mother
was willing to sign, and there are several problems surrounding her mother,
including Tiffany's appearance, and sudden fears and problems that we had to
deal with, and are still dealing with. On the 11th of October we will have
the money. We had the papers and we are just waiting for the funds to get
this finished. It has been a wonderful thought knowing that Tiffany would
finally feel secure and know that she was finally loved by a "Mommy."
About a month and a half ago, Tiffany's bio mom showed up here, but she
only wanted to know about the adoption, not about Tiffany. We told her that
we were waiting for funds, and she even offered to pay. We cut a vacation
short to be here at the house, just in case she showed up to pay for
Tiffany's adoption.
Yesterday, she was at the door again. She had court papers over 2 years
old, saying that she wanted to take Tiffany for her visitation. WHAT? We told
her to contact the Friend of the Court, and what about the adoption. She
flatly stated that she had changed her mind.
We have made several calls to the county offices. We have even tried the
deal that the courts, themselves use in child abandonment cases. If a child
is not visited by a parent for 2 consecutive years, the court can petition a
motion of abandonment. Today we were informed that this is not the actual
case. There needs to be a nonpayment of substantial child support along with
the visitation refusal. In the 2 years that Tiffany has not been contacted,
we have received less than $300, and it was received only after the court
issued a warrant for the mother, and she was indeed arrested. I am thinking
that the same happened yesterday. (that she was again arrested)
I am so disheartened and am crying off and on. Tiffany does not know this
woman, and thinks of me as mommy, as if someone could not already see that.
Yesterday, Tiffany wanted to do everything by my side. She usually holds
Daddy's hand, and is a Daddy's girl, but I think that she felt the pain, and
chose to grip on me.
No offense, but this stinks. I have been praying, and I am looking for
the "silver lining." Ron is going to try to talk to her, and see about still
being able to finally rid our beautiful child of any bleakness in her life.
Right now it is just hard to see the good in this.
Thanks for "listening"
Blessings
Stephanie

[email protected]

In a message dated 9/28/99 8:05:51 AM, LifesLearn@... writes:

<<About a month and a half ago, Tiffany's bio mom showed up here, but she
only wanted to know about the adoption, not about Tiffany. We told her that
we were waiting for funds, and she even offered to pay. We cut a vacation
short to be here at the house, just in case she showed up to pay for
Tiffany's adoption.
Yesterday, she was at the door again. She had court papers over 2 years
old, saying that she wanted to take Tiffany for her visitation. WHAT? We told
her to contact the Friend of the Court, and what about the adoption. She
flatly stated that she had changed her mind. >>

Guessing wildly here, it sounds like she talked to someone about her plan to
relinquish her daughter and they criticized her intensely for it. Just a
theory.

Betsy

[email protected]

{{{{{{{{{{{{Stephanie}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
Hun, I am soooo sorry. There are not words to say to you, but just know that
there is love and caring out here, and that all your friends on the loop will
be holding special thoughts and prayers for you and your family. We are here
to listen, and sometimes you just have to kick and scream, get it off your
chest, and clear the way to think. Best of everything
Teresa

[email protected]

In a message dated 09/28/1999 5:03:23 PM !!!First Boot!!!, ECSamHill@...
writes:

<< Guessing wildly here, it sounds like she talked to someone about her plan
to
relinquish her daughter and they criticized her intensely for it. Just a
theory.

Betsy >>
We thought about that. We think it has to do with a new policy they have in
effect here in St. Clair County, MI.
If the support paying parent does not pay child support for an amount of six
consecutive weeks, the Friend of the Court office shall interview the case,
and place the matter in front of the courts. they then issue a bench warrant
for said parent. I know that when she came to our home the previous time, she
was just released from jail (bench warrant). This time, I think that the same
happened. My dh hopes that he will be able to talk to her and see about
changing her mind. We think that she is doing this to be a bother to us.
About 18 months ago, she and my ex husband started dating, and told our whole
community they were trying to make us jealous. Ok.... Jealous about what?
Both my dh, and I, left them, and I was awarded custody, and dh took custody
from an unfit mother. we are hoping that she will just leave us alone.

Stephanie
Mommy to Tiffany, Martin, James, and Stacie

[email protected]

In a message dated 9/28/99 11:04:23 AM Central Daylight Time,
LifesLearn@... writes:

<< I sent this to the Pastor of my church, but am in need of some heavy
support.
It has been a long road for our family, and we deal with emotional and
mental
problems with Tiffers all the time from the last series of visits with her
bio mom. I am just so sad.
thanks for listening >>

Stephanie,
I am so sorry that you are going through this. My heart goes out to you
and your family. I pray that everything turns out well for you.
Tami