kaydeecross

Its been beautiful traveling through NY state, visiting some old
friends and making our way to Canada. Here I sit with three lovely
boys of various ages playing Super Smash Brothers II on Game Cube.

Had a restless night so I logged on and read some posts. Not nearly
as many as I wanted, but the list has been ever so prolific of late.

Do you see the irony going here?

I'd like to take the liberty to sum it up in how _I_ perceive this
whole she-bang. We're off to rollar skating soon, so I might not add
all that I wanted to. And I find it necessary to paraphrase, if I
don't say what the original poster intended, its purely by perception.

Somebody posted something.. and in that post they said they required
something of their children. Elissa (the brave one who has already
stepped forward on more than one occasion) said, and I paraphrase all
of this, 'you are not an unschooler, you might like the eclectic
homeschool list'.

When the issue went further, and nobody could find anything in GWS or
Holt's work that said anything about not requiring. And Elissa said
something on the order 'if you require X (x=anything) then you are
not an unschooler, there are other lists to go and find what you
need.'

This broke off into an larger mushroom because Elissa has stated her
unschooling philosophy included chores.

Then Helen and a few others came along and talked about how
requirements of our children did not mean being outside of the
unschooling scope. As that went on, Elissa said that we need to move
forward and forget it, she apologized already.

Bear with me here, its a chronologed perception.

Now, I see after the fact, the brave Elissa said she did send out
a 'call to help' because this list was letting unschooling fall into
a category that wasn't 'real' or 'true' unschooling. It is netiquette
not to discuss one list on another, but since there were no clear cut
statement in a welcome letter, the horse is out of the barn, and the
issue is moot. Maybe it will fire a spark in people here that run
lists to add a letter to their protocol.

As the mushroom grows, we begin seeing posts that are saying 'well
why are you (plural) defending people who require their children to
do math and call themselves unschoolers'. This never happened. Do you
see the telephone game being played with all the honest intentions of
the people doing the communicating?

In an attempt to put unschooling into a common definition, most
people here were trying to find what does fall under it. Some were
still riled up over the original incident (from either side, if the
shoe fits wear it, if not, don't buy into it).

Those, like myself, were unaware that a message that we get from the
moderators periodically on the list, were not give when someone new,
or renew, signs on. The one that states 'Because unschooling means
different things to different people... (could Cindy or Mary please
repost that for clarity). So the effort by some to clarify their
positions became what seems to be a struggle for 'right'.

Personally, I was mistaken in my communications more than once. I was
told I didn't want people to share their experiences, and I didn't
want the word mindful used, and some other comments. Neither was
true, but I don't blame the person who misunderstood. I feel it was
the way the dynamics of how the conversation was going that it was
hard to see through the misagosh.

Some people post in response to a specific issue. And call out those
posts. Sometimes by name. Some people talk in theory and philosophy
because it is their style.

Tlatter says 'unschooling is not doing one subject and then calling
yourself an unschooler', when there was no such specific post to that
mentioned. And this is the irony of it all.

Frustration flew, as there was no such need to defend something that
didn't happen and then all the going back and forth with the original
incident being totally neglected.

Helen, whom I have respect for in the posts I've seen here and on
some of the homeschooling legal alerts boards, was overwhelmed at
seeing this going on yet again. I can understand when someone's true
livlihood is at stake because of this. Personally, I didn't subscribe
to HEM because of something prejudicial that was said from one of her
columnists, and told her so back in December, in a private note.
Somehow I didn't get the feeling that it mattered, just one
subscription. Apparently it is more than that now, and one of the
people that I stayed here for is gone.

Taking sides? Is that what people see that it looks like? What a
shame. I appreciated information and POV from people like Helen,
Lynda, Tia and many others. I've also disagreed with people on
issues, and still can agree with them on other issues.

As far as black cats. As the thread went. No, you can't call a black
cat anything else. BUT we are using a physical definition for an
object that absorbs all the light. In physics, when an object absorbs
all the colors of the spectrum, its going to reflect black back. How
can anything so cut and dry be ascribed to the therm 'unschooling'
which is as organic as the mountain I am sitting on right now.
Analagies work sometimes. And sometimes one is comparing apples to
oranges.

Interestingly, as unschooling lives would have it, the plans changed
from the time I started this missive. So we're off to go bowling and
find what else this place offers. I love road trips within road trips.

regards,
kolleen

[email protected]

As one of the new members of the list may I say thank you Kolleen! I have gotten some great advice that has made a huge difference to my relationship (in only 2 weeks!) with my 3.5 yr old son. However, I was becoming depressed that so many here seem to make someone else's road trip (ie journey) miserable.
Beth- a very happy unschooler, who occasionally says no!
----- Original Message -----
From: kaydeecross
To: [email protected]
Sent: Sunday, March 24, 2002 10:25 AM
Subject: [Unschooling-dotcom] telephone game, netiquette, philosophy, Helen and black cats


Its been beautiful traveling through NY state, visiting some old
friends and making our way to Canada. Here I sit with three lovely
boys of various ages playing Super Smash Brothers II on Game Cube.

Had a restless night so I logged on and read some posts. Not nearly
as many as I wanted, but the list has been ever so prolific of late.

Do you see the irony going here?

I'd like to take the liberty to sum it up in how _I_ perceive this
whole she-bang. We're off to rollar skating soon, so I might not add
all that I wanted to. And I find it necessary to paraphrase, if I
don't say what the original poster intended, its purely by perception.

Somebody posted something.. and in that post they said they required
something of their children. Elissa (the brave one who has already
stepped forward on more than one occasion) said, and I paraphrase all
of this, 'you are not an unschooler, you might like the eclectic
homeschool list'.

When the issue went further, and nobody could find anything in GWS or
Holt's work that said anything about not requiring. And Elissa said
something on the order 'if you require X (x=anything) then you are
not an unschooler, there are other lists to go and find what you
need.'

This broke off into an larger mushroom because Elissa has stated her
unschooling philosophy included chores.

Then Helen and a few others came along and talked about how
requirements of our children did not mean being outside of the
unschooling scope. As that went on, Elissa said that we need to move
forward and forget it, she apologized already.

Bear with me here, its a chronologed perception.

Now, I see after the fact, the brave Elissa said she did send out
a 'call to help' because this list was letting unschooling fall into
a category that wasn't 'real' or 'true' unschooling. It is netiquette
not to discuss one list on another, but since there were no clear cut
statement in a welcome letter, the horse is out of the barn, and the
issue is moot. Maybe it will fire a spark in people here that run
lists to add a letter to their protocol.

As the mushroom grows, we begin seeing posts that are saying 'well
why are you (plural) defending people who require their children to
do math and call themselves unschoolers'. This never happened. Do you
see the telephone game being played with all the honest intentions of
the people doing the communicating?

In an attempt to put unschooling into a common definition, most
people here were trying to find what does fall under it. Some were
still riled up over the original incident (from either side, if the
shoe fits wear it, if not, don't buy into it).

Those, like myself, were unaware that a message that we get from the
moderators periodically on the list, were not give when someone new,
or renew, signs on. The one that states 'Because unschooling means
different things to different people... (could Cindy or Mary please
repost that for clarity). So the effort by some to clarify their
positions became what seems to be a struggle for 'right'.

Personally, I was mistaken in my communications more than once. I was
told I didn't want people to share their experiences, and I didn't
want the word mindful used, and some other comments. Neither was
true, but I don't blame the person who misunderstood. I feel it was
the way the dynamics of how the conversation was going that it was
hard to see through the misagosh.

Some people post in response to a specific issue. And call out those
posts. Sometimes by name. Some people talk in theory and philosophy
because it is their style.

Tlatter says 'unschooling is not doing one subject and then calling
yourself an unschooler', when there was no such specific post to that
mentioned. And this is the irony of it all.

Frustration flew, as there was no such need to defend something that
didn't happen and then all the going back and forth with the original
incident being totally neglected.

Helen, whom I have respect for in the posts I've seen here and on
some of the homeschooling legal alerts boards, was overwhelmed at
seeing this going on yet again. I can understand when someone's true
livlihood is at stake because of this. Personally, I didn't subscribe
to HEM because of something prejudicial that was said from one of her
columnists, and told her so back in December, in a private note.
Somehow I didn't get the feeling that it mattered, just one
subscription. Apparently it is more than that now, and one of the
people that I stayed here for is gone.

Taking sides? Is that what people see that it looks like? What a
shame. I appreciated information and POV from people like Helen,
Lynda, Tia and many others. I've also disagreed with people on
issues, and still can agree with them on other issues.

As far as black cats. As the thread went. No, you can't call a black
cat anything else. BUT we are using a physical definition for an
object that absorbs all the light. In physics, when an object absorbs
all the colors of the spectrum, its going to reflect black back. How
can anything so cut and dry be ascribed to the therm 'unschooling'
which is as organic as the mountain I am sitting on right now.
Analagies work sometimes. And sometimes one is comparing apples to
oranges.

Interestingly, as unschooling lives would have it, the plans changed
from the time I started this missive. So we're off to go bowling and
find what else this place offers. I love road trips within road trips.

regards,
kolleen




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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

joanna514

I was thinking about this today.
I can remember being a new homeschooler on the AOL boards about 5
years ago. I remember going to the unschooling section quite a bit
and learning and thinking and coming to unschooling with my family.
It was quite a struggle and a very exciting journey.
I also remember there being a lot of fuss about this and that on the
P/CP boards and sometimes on the unschooling boards, and as I recall,
I paid very little attention to it. I wanted to hear about
unschooling and what people thought of it. How they lived it. Why
they thought something wasn't unschooling and ways to get to it
without as much struggle or frustration. Those were the posts I paid
attention to. The bickering and stuggle between the forceful powers
of that board meant absolutley nothing to me. I couldn't relate.
I figured it was something important for them to stuggle through, but
I needed to focus on ME and what I needed for my family.
I remember lots of people leaving, complaining about the changes of
the boards(I still had no interest in that). The unschooling board
eventually became pretty barren except for a few wonderful people
like Linda Wyatt and others.
I became a part of the P/CP "crew" and had many lively discussions,
but not too many on unschooling.
The unschooling section would get heated up now and then, and I would
have a boost in my learning.
I ALWAYS learned more when the discussion of 'what is unschooling and
can it be defined' came up.
The more i participated in, the more I learned. Though it took a
while for me to be brave enough and feel confident enough too
participate.
Anyway....lets talk about unschooling! Lets let people feel very
radical about it, and lets hear why people think it doesn't have to
be quite so.
Lets argue and share and ramble and feel free!!
Joanna

--- In Unschooling-dotcom@y..., <blali@b...> wrote:
> As one of the new members of the list may I say thank you Kolleen!
I have gotten some great advice that has made a huge difference to my
relationship (in only 2 weeks!) with my 3.5 yr old son. However, I
was becoming depressed that so many here seem to make someone else's
road trip (ie journey) miserable.
> Beth- a very happy unschooler, who occasionally says no!
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: kaydeecross
> To: Unschooling-dotcom@y...
> Sent: Sunday, March 24, 2002 10:25 AM
> Subject: [Unschooling-dotcom] telephone game, netiquette,
philosophy, Helen and black cats
>
>
> Its been beautiful traveling through NY state, visiting some old
> friends and making our way to Canada. Here I sit with three
lovely
> boys of various ages playing Super Smash Brothers II on Game Cube.
>
> Had a restless night so I logged on and read some posts. Not
nearly
> as many as I wanted, but the list has been ever so prolific of
late.
>
> Do you see the irony going here?
>
> I'd like to take the liberty to sum it up in how _I_ perceive
this
> whole she-bang. We're off to rollar skating soon, so I might not
add
> all that I wanted to. And I find it necessary to paraphrase, if I
> don't say what the original poster intended, its purely by
perception.
>
> Somebody posted something.. and in that post they said they
required
> something of their children. Elissa (the brave one who has
already
> stepped forward on more than one occasion) said, and I paraphrase
all
> of this, 'you are not an unschooler, you might like the eclectic
> homeschool list'.
>
> When the issue went further, and nobody could find anything in
GWS or
> Holt's work that said anything about not requiring. And Elissa
said
> something on the order 'if you require X (x=anything) then you
are
> not an unschooler, there are other lists to go and find what you
> need.'
>
> This broke off into an larger mushroom because Elissa has stated
her
> unschooling philosophy included chores.
>
> Then Helen and a few others came along and talked about how
> requirements of our children did not mean being outside of the
> unschooling scope. As that went on, Elissa said that we need to
move
> forward and forget it, she apologized already.
>
> Bear with me here, its a chronologed perception.
>
> Now, I see after the fact, the brave Elissa said she did send out
> a 'call to help' because this list was letting unschooling fall
into
> a category that wasn't 'real' or 'true' unschooling. It is
netiquette
> not to discuss one list on another, but since there were no clear
cut
> statement in a welcome letter, the horse is out of the barn, and
the
> issue is moot. Maybe it will fire a spark in people here that run
> lists to add a letter to their protocol.
>
> As the mushroom grows, we begin seeing posts that are
saying 'well
> why are you (plural) defending people who require their children
to
> do math and call themselves unschoolers'. This never happened. Do
you
> see the telephone game being played with all the honest
intentions of
> the people doing the communicating?
>
> In an attempt to put unschooling into a common definition, most
> people here were trying to find what does fall under it. Some
were
> still riled up over the original incident (from either side, if
the
> shoe fits wear it, if not, don't buy into it).
>
> Those, like myself, were unaware that a message that we get from
the
> moderators periodically on the list, were not give when someone
new,
> or renew, signs on. The one that states 'Because unschooling
means
> different things to different people... (could Cindy or Mary
please
> repost that for clarity). So the effort by some to clarify their
> positions became what seems to be a struggle for 'right'.
>
> Personally, I was mistaken in my communications more than once. I
was
> told I didn't want people to share their experiences, and I
didn't
> want the word mindful used, and some other comments. Neither was
> true, but I don't blame the person who misunderstood. I feel it
was
> the way the dynamics of how the conversation was going that it
was
> hard to see through the misagosh.
>
> Some people post in response to a specific issue. And call out
those
> posts. Sometimes by name. Some people talk in theory and
philosophy
> because it is their style.
>
> Tlatter says 'unschooling is not doing one subject and then
calling
> yourself an unschooler', when there was no such specific post to
that
> mentioned. And this is the irony of it all.
>
> Frustration flew, as there was no such need to defend something
that
> didn't happen and then all the going back and forth with the
original
> incident being totally neglected.
>
> Helen, whom I have respect for in the posts I've seen here and on
> some of the homeschooling legal alerts boards, was overwhelmed at
> seeing this going on yet again. I can understand when someone's
true
> livlihood is at stake because of this. Personally, I didn't
subscribe
> to HEM because of something prejudicial that was said from one of
her
> columnists, and told her so back in December, in a private note.
> Somehow I didn't get the feeling that it mattered, just one
> subscription. Apparently it is more than that now, and one of the
> people that I stayed here for is gone.
>
> Taking sides? Is that what people see that it looks like? What a
> shame. I appreciated information and POV from people like Helen,
> Lynda, Tia and many others. I've also disagreed with people on
> issues, and still can agree with them on other issues.
>
> As far as black cats. As the thread went. No, you can't call a
black
> cat anything else. BUT we are using a physical definition for an
> object that absorbs all the light. In physics, when an object
absorbs
> all the colors of the spectrum, its going to reflect black back.
How
> can anything so cut and dry be ascribed to the
therm 'unschooling'
> which is as organic as the mountain I am sitting on right now.
> Analagies work sometimes. And sometimes one is comparing apples
to
> oranges.
>
> Interestingly, as unschooling lives would have it, the plans
changed
> from the time I started this missive. So we're off to go bowling
and
> find what else this place offers. I love road trips within road
trips.
>
> regards,
> kolleen
>
>
>
>
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>
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> To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
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Service.
>
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

I really don't understand the purpose of this post
I am hurt that you have found it necessary to point out things I have "said"
which I believe was completely misrepresented. I

<<Somebody posted something.. and in that post they said they required
something of their children. Elissa (the brave one who has already
stepped forward on more than one occasion) said, and I paraphrase all
of this, 'you are not an unschooler, you might like the eclectic
homeschool list'.
When the issue went further, and nobody could find anything in GWS or
Holt's work that said anything about not requiring. And Elissa said
something on the order 'if you require X (x=anything) then you are
not an unschooler, there are other lists to go and find what you
need.'>>
***When? Show me.
This broke off into an larger mushroom because Elissa has stated her
unschooling philosophy included chores.
*****WHAT? No way. Not in this house.

Then Helen and a few others came along and talked about how
requirements of our children did not mean being outside of the
unschooling scope. As that went on, Elissa said that we need to move
forward and forget it, she apologized already.
*****This is totally wrong. I apologized for my words and how I came across.
WHY is there a need to keep this whole rediculus conversation going.
She said, she said. This is BS
I may have suggested another list (although I don't ewven KNOW of any
Eclectic lists personally.
Leave me out of this.


~Elissa Cleaveland
"It is nothing short of a miracle that the modern methods of instruction
have
not yet entirely strangled the holy curiosity of inquiry." A. Einstein

[email protected]

I want everyone to know how sorry I am for starting this whole conversation
up again. I believe that I have been misrepresented by Kolleen. i'm not sure
why she chose to focus a post completely on me, I was not talking to myself.
I have been making some adjustments in my writing, I'm very new to
expressing feelings and opinions on email lists and I am trying. I have only
been trying to help someone else as I have been helped here. I obviously
need to lurk some more becasue whatever I seem to r\try to say to help
someone comes out wrong.
I am very sorry, I was only trying to help.
~Elissa Cleaveland
"It is nothing short of a miracle that the modern methods of instruction
have
not yet entirely strangled the holy curiosity of inquiry." A. Einstein

rumpleteasermom

--- In Unschooling-dotcom@y..., <ElissaJC@c...> wrote:
I
obviously
> need to lurk some more becasue whatever I seem to r\try to say to
help
> someone comes out wrong.
> I am very sorry, I was only trying to help.
> ~Elissa Cleaveland


Elissa, please don't stop posting! And try not to feel picked on.
I've BTDT with having others words attributed to me because I was part
of a conversation. It's usually best to just politely say, that
wasn't me. I'm pretty sure Kolleen didn't mean to pick on you. It's
hard to be away and come back into a situation like this and read it
all at once and keep the players straight.

Anyway, I look forward to hearing more from you.

Bridget

Carol & Mac

Dear Elissa,

Please realise that no matter how clearly someone *says* something,
there will always be someone who *hears* something completely different.
None of us can say the same thing in a sufficient number of ways to make
the intended meaning clear to everyone - especially in this sort of
situation where many of the words we use are defined differently by
different people eg christian, unschooling, discipline, hitting - even,
apparently, black (I was accused of being racist for saying my cat was
black, even if it was covered in baby talc??!!). The best we can do, is
the best we can do!

BTW, I am *not* suggesting that this is a one way problem, nor am
pointing the finger at anyone! It is a basic problem of human communication.

I'm sure that for, many if not most, the intention of your messages have
come through loud and clear, but there will always be a few whose past
experiences will either not allow them to hear you, or who have a
different understanding of the words.

(((hugs)))
Carol

ElissaJC@... wrote:

> I want everyone to know how sorry I am for starting this whole
> conversation
> up again. I believe that I have been misrepresented by Kolleen. i'm
> not sure
> why she chose to focus a post completely on me, I was not talking to
> myself.
> I have been making some adjustments in my writing, I'm very new to
> expressing feelings and opinions on email lists and I am trying. I
> have only
> been trying to help someone else as I have been helped here. I obviously
> need to lurk some more becasue whatever I seem to r\try to say to help
> someone comes out wrong.
> I am very sorry, I was only trying to help.
> ~Elissa Cleaveland
> "It is nothing short of a miracle that the modern methods of instruction
> have
> not yet entirely strangled the holy curiosity of inquiry." A. Einstein

joanna514

I wrote a post that hasn't come through about this. Maybe later??
Just wanted to let Elissa know I think she does a great job of
communicating and I completely agree with Carol here.


--- In Unschooling-dotcom@y..., Carol & Mac <mjcmbrwn@i...> wrote:
> Dear Elissa,
>
> Please realise that no matter how clearly someone *says* something,
> there will always be someone who *hears* something completely
different.
> None of us can say the same thing in a sufficient number of ways to
make
> the intended meaning clear to everyone - especially in this sort of
> situation where many of the words we use are defined differently by
> different people eg christian, unschooling, discipline, hitting -
even,
> apparently, black (I was accused of being racist for saying my cat
was
> black, even if it was covered in baby talc??!!). The best we can
do, is
> the best we can do!
>
> BTW, I am *not* suggesting that this is a one way problem, nor am
> pointing the finger at anyone! It is a basic problem of human
communication.
>
> I'm sure that for, many if not most, the intention of your messages
have
> come through loud and clear, but there will always be a few whose
past
> experiences will either not allow them to hear you, or who have a
> different understanding of the words.
>
> (((hugs)))
> Carol
>
> ElissaJC@c... wrote:
>
> > I want everyone to know how sorry I am for starting this whole
> > conversation
> > up again. I believe that I have been misrepresented by Kolleen.
i'm
> > not sure
> > why she chose to focus a post completely on me, I was not talking
to
> > myself.
> > I have been making some adjustments in my writing, I'm very new to
> > expressing feelings and opinions on email lists and I am trying.
I
> > have only
> > been trying to help someone else as I have been helped here. I
obviously
> > need to lurk some more becasue whatever I seem to r\try to say to
help
> > someone comes out wrong.
> > I am very sorry, I was only trying to help.
> > ~Elissa Cleaveland
> > "It is nothing short of a miracle that the modern methods of
instruction
> > have
> > not yet entirely strangled the holy curiosity of inquiry." A.
Einstein