[email protected]

On Thu, 21 Mar 2002 19:13:07 -0000 "rumpleteasermom"
<rumpleteasermom@...> writes:
> And morphing into another topic, can anyone tell me why we still have
> open casket viewing of dead bodies? I mean, I understand that
> originally a wake was to make certain they were really dead, so why do

> we still do it? I've already told my kids that if they do that to
> me I WILL come back and haunt them.

I was glad we had an open casket with my mom. I think the whole family
was. Her death was sudden but not unexpected - she had terminal cancer
and deteriorated rapidly over the last 4 days of her life, going from
weak but lucid to comatose, and then dying. We - her family and friends -
weren't quite done talking to her, we weren't ready, and it was helpful
to have her actual face to talk to. My brother hadn't seen her for 5
months, except for a few minutes the night before she died. He,
especially, needed to just look at her - not a photo, not a memory, but
her face. Cacie needed a photo of her in the casket (digital cameras are
useful), I'm not sure why but it was part of her grieving. Some of us
kissed her face, I smoothed her hair so it looked right again, one last
thing to do for her...

I don't think bodies are something to be scared of, or repulsed by. This
is the body that had held us, hugged us, smiled on us, given birth to the
three of us. These are the hands that made cookies, the mouth that
smiled, the forehead that wrinkled in exasperation, the feet that waded
in the Sea of Cortez. For me, anyway, the body is a reminder of all of
those things, and of the soul who dwelt within.

My whole family seemed to understand that what is done with a body after
death is done for the benefit of the living, not the dead. It's your
right to chose a closed casket after your death, but it might not be the
best thing for the people who love you at the time.

dar

Karin

freeform@... wrote:

<<I don't think bodies are something to be scared of, or repulsed by. This
is the body that had held us, hugged us, smiled on us, given birth to the
three of us. These are the hands that made cookies, the mouth that
smiled, the forehead that wrinkled in exasperation, the feet that waded
in the Sea of Cortez. For me, anyway, the body is a reminder of all of
those things, and of the soul who dwelt within.>>


This is beautiful. What a wonderful way to remember your mom.
I never met her and I have tears in my eyes.

Karin

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Joseph Fuerst

Beautiful, dar!
Thanks
Susan
----- Original Message -----
From: <freeform@...>
To: <[email protected]>
Cc: <[email protected]>
Sent: Thursday, March 21, 2002 4:36 PM
Subject: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] Re: open caskets


>
> On Thu, 21 Mar 2002 19:13:07 -0000 "rumpleteasermom"
> <rumpleteasermom@...> writes:
> > And morphing into another topic, can anyone tell me why we still have
> > open casket viewing of dead bodies? I mean, I understand that
> > originally a wake was to make certain they were really dead, so why do
>
> > we still do it? I've already told my kids that if they do that to
> > me I WILL come back and haunt them.
>
> I was glad we had an open casket with my mom. I think the whole family
> was. Her death was sudden but not unexpected - she had terminal cancer
> and deteriorated rapidly over the last 4 days of her life, going from
> weak but lucid to comatose, and then dying. We - her family and friends -
> weren't quite done talking to her, we weren't ready, and it was helpful
> to have her actual face to talk to. My brother hadn't seen her for 5
> months, except for a few minutes the night before she died. He,
> especially, needed to just look at her - not a photo, not a memory, but
> her face. Cacie needed a photo of her in the casket (digital cameras are
> useful), I'm not sure why but it was part of her grieving. Some of us
> kissed her face, I smoothed her hair so it looked right again, one last
> thing to do for her...
>
> I don't think bodies are something to be scared of, or repulsed by. This
> is the body that had held us, hugged us, smiled on us, given birth to the
> three of us. These are the hands that made cookies, the mouth that
> smiled, the forehead that wrinkled in exasperation, the feet that waded
> in the Sea of Cortez. For me, anyway, the body is a reminder of all of
> those things, and of the soul who dwelt within.
>
> My whole family seemed to understand that what is done with a body after
> death is done for the benefit of the living, not the dead. It's your
> right to chose a closed casket after your death, but it might not be the
> best thing for the people who love you at the time.
>
> dar
>
>
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Joan Wilson

dar wrote >> My whole family seemed to understand that what is done with a
body after
death is done for the benefit of the living, not the dead. It's your
right to chose a closed casket after your death, but it might not be the
best thing for the people who love you at the time <


Very well put. Some one said they didn't want any one looking at them after
they were dead ... after you are dead do think that hang up willl be gone?
Do you really think you will care after you are dead?
As you said -- anything that the living does after a person is dead is for
the living. As far as I am concerned my loved ones can do whatever they
need to do as long as it isn't fighting about what posessions may be left.

Joan







[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]