Lynda

The paragraph prior to the one you quoted from Nancy is interesting as it
applies to defining unschooling and the oft stated "unschooling will work
for all children."

"It bothers me a bit that unschooling is perceived as "new age." Labels
exist
to stop discussion. Give it a name, put it in a category, and you've
captured it and made yourself safe from it. Label a person, and you have a
pretty good idea of what they are; you can feel safe either embracing them,
or excluding them, depending on what you label yourself. Call unschooling
"new age," and you might dismiss it from the possibilities before you, just
as another person might label structured homeschooling "conservative
Christian," and thus overlook what could be the ideal learning environment
for *their* child."

Lynda
----- Original Message -----
From: "Fetteroll" <fetteroll@...>
To: <[email protected]>
Sent: Wednesday, March 20, 2002 3:47 AM
Subject: [Unschooling-dotcom] Re: Unparenting


> on 3/19/02 2:18 PM, Kolleen at Kolleen@... wrote:
>
> > In the end, it is just words...
>
> Only to people who don't enjoy a good heated discussion ;-) If a word
> conjures up one image for one person and another image to another and they
> each assume they both have the same image and don't care about clarifying
> then language loses a lot of it's usefulness. Unschooling doesn't even
> conjure up the same image for each of us so unparenting is even iffier.
>
> Just as a test of current usage, I typed "unparenting" into Google. There
> are 78 pages that turned up. Pretty amazing when most searches turn up at
> least thousands and typically millions.
>
> Apparently it's a technical term foremost and uses up most of the 78
pages:
>
> > Have you tried just unparenting the belly from the hips (the old origin)
and
> > then parenting the hips to the belly, making the belly bone effectively
your
> > new root? I just did a quick test with a skinned object and seemed to
work
> > ok. I could then independantly animate the front and rear quad, and
control
> > the overall orientation of the setup from the new 'belly' root.
> >
> > You may need to disable any IK handles though that may be along the
spine
> > though and make sure your model is at the bind pose when you do it.
>
> I *think* they're talking about computer animation though I'm not entirely
> sure they're speaking English ;-)
>
> (If anyone wants to check out the other fascinatingly baffling posts
they're
> at:
> http://www.highend3d.com/maya/gamearchive/spe.3d?mail_id=921)
>
> And used in programming:
>
> > gtk/gtklist.c (gtk_list_clear_items): Clear
> > list->undo/list_focus_child after unparenting
> > child, since unparenting the child can result
> > in list->last_focus_child being set.
>
> They both seem to suggest severing a dependent relationship.
>
> The first use of unparenting in a family context is from a page on a
> homeschooling conference that's gone but tantalizingly said:
>
> > ... children time and space to explore their interests. Why unschooling
does
> not
> > mean unparenting. This workshop is primarily for people new to
unschooling ...
>
> The next one is an essay from Unschooling.com :-) written by Nancy Wooton
on
> 2/24/99. (Are you here Nancy?) She's a bit of a ringer (who came up
> legitimately! :-) since she's an ex-AOLer who would have been used to
seeing
> unparenting used to mean not parenting.
>
> http://www.unschooling.com/library/essays/essay09.shtml
>
> > Unschooling scares people, because there are no guarantees. What they
fail to
> > realize is, public school, private school, or school-at-home offer no
> > guarantees, either. What unschooling is about is *freedom.* How it
appears in
> > different homes is as individual as the child himself. It does not mean
> > "unparenting," though a wide range of parenting philosophies are
practiced
> > (most unschoolers are pretty relaxed, though, since you aren't trying to
force
> > the kids to do things all day long). The basic tenet is not new age;
it's
> > "what is best for this individual person, my child?" In some cases,
> > unschooling parents will find their child desires a structured
curriculum, and
> > they provide it. The difference is in WHO is asking for the curriculum,
and
> > who is responsible for doing it.
>
> Then, after many animation references, a frustratingly unlinked (or
perhaps
> unparented?) link to an essay entitled "Unschooling or Unparenting?"
>
> And another missing page that starts: "... My response to that is to
remind
> them that unschooling doesn't mean "unparenting". My kids have plenty of
> responsibilities and structure in their lives. It's ..."
>
> Finally an independent, relevent use which ironically ties into the
feminism
> discussion :-)
>
> http://gotcannedgoods.com/a_didactic_dialectic/add18-15Feb2001.cfm
> (waaaaay down at the bottom)
>
> > In the end, the values of feminism and individualism are good. The
problem is
> > that our time-place has not yet developed the cultural responses to
compensate
> > for the familial losses feminism has helped create. We have yet to solve
such
> > problems as homemakerless houses, unparenting parents, independencism,
and
> > isolationism (oh yea, lots of us feel alone and depressed ­ where have
our
> > grandparents gone?!). I think it is the undervaluing of the family, and
the
> > overvaluing of the individual, that produced this mess. (We value the
group
> > as a whole very much, btw). We forget our place in life: our duty. We
are
> > not frogs; we are mammals: we must raise our young with precious time
and
> > energy if we want to make them happy and successful.
>
> And then, frustratingly, a reference that could arguably go either way
from
> a Pagan homeschooling page:
>
> http://members.tripod.com/acorns3/acorns9.html
>
> > My view of this is that people sort themselves out by associating with
others
> > based on commonalities and what meets their needs as time goes by.
> > Homeschooling families may find that they actually have little in common
with
> > each other, except for an intense interest in the well-being of their
children
> > and a desire to be left alone by the school district. Families who come
to
> > this primarily from a religious motivation may share a great deal more
with
> > each other; many such groups dictate a unified way of life. However, the
more
> > secular homeschoolers are indeed a diverse lot, particularly the adults.
They
> > include rich and poor, mainstream and alternative lifestyles, families
with
> > professional degrees and those with high school diplomas, urban,
suburban and
> > rural, liberal and conservative, young and middle-aged, new and old
> > homeschoolers, etc. Even with regard to child-rearing, homeschoolers
include
> > all philosophies from what I call unparenting to rigid behavior
management. Is
> > there any reason to think all these folks are likely to be friends?
About the
> > only way to bring them all together would be in defense of homeschooling
> > itself, if the legislature were proposing some drastic reduction of our
> > rights. Even then, each part of the homeschooling "community" would have
its
> > own critique and analysis of the proposal.
>
> And another vote for unparenting being a pejorative term:
>
> http://www.geocities.com/wrightway2/011500.htm
> > I read a post on the internet later that evening that really hit home as
to
> > what was missing in our unschooling efforts, other than compliance :)
The
> > lady that posted said she felt that unschoolers actually have more
structure
> > than other homeschoolers - only internal not external. We expect our
kids to
> > learn to care for themselves. She said "that being responsible for your
> > actions and taking care of what God gives you is completely biblical.
She
> > also said that unschooling doesn't mean unparenting".
>
> Joyce
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
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