[email protected]

On Wed, 20 Mar 2002 14:10:48 -0000 "katyclark1969"
<katyclark1969@...> writes:
> Has anyone else read "Parenting with Love and Logic" it's fabulous!
> Basically it's about letting the world teach the child how to behave
> through natural consequences. <snip> They don't advocate letting the
child
> endanger themselves, but a few hours spend cold or hungry teach very
> strong lessons!!

Lessons like "My parents will not help me get warm and fed when I'm cold
and hungry"?

Dar

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katyclark1969

Has anyone else read "Parenting with Love and Logic" it's fabulous!
Basically it's about letting the world teach the child how to behave
through natural consequences. Sometimes it's tough to let your child
make her own mistakes, but a lesson that they learn on their own sure
does stick a lot better than one we parents might drill into their
head. How many of us have warned our kids repeatedly that the stove
is hot only to watch in horror as that chubby little hand reaches
toward the hot burner? They don't advocate letting the child
endanger themselves, but a few hours spend cold or hungry teach very
strong lessons!! That's my idea of unparenting. I've visited the
TCS website and it seems to me that not requiring your child to wear
a seatbelt borders on child abuse!!

Katy C.

[email protected]

This year Quinton most days did not want to wear a coat and preferred to
just hold it. We fought with ourselves at first on it. . . you know. . . we
know how cold it is outside, etc. Then we decided to just let him be. He
really never got cold most of the time until yesterday. He had played outside
with his dad for an hour or so and came in shivering, saying. . .I am
coooooold. LOL. Oh man, I put in way too many battles that I really don't
need to. Those conditioned responses are sooo difficult to change sometimes.

Living in Abundance
Mary

rumpleteasermom

LOL
This is how we know it's spring! Wyndham starts wearing his winter
coat. When it's 10 degrees outside, he just wears a sweat jacket.
But come spring, there's that winter coat!
Now that I think about it, maybe it just takes him a whole season to
adjust to changing which coat to wear!

Bridget

--- In Unschooling-dotcom@y..., lite2yu@a... wrote:
> This year Quinton most days did not want to wear a coat and
preferred to
> just hold it. We fought with ourselves at first on it. . . you know.
. . we
> know how cold it is outside, etc. Then we decided to just let him
be.
> Living in Abundance
> Mary

Kolleen

>Katy C. wrote:
>Has anyone else read "Parenting with Love and Logic" it's fabulous!
>Basically it's about letting the world teach the child how to behave
>through natural consequences.

Katy, I am not familiar with the book. But can you tell me if those are
your words or some of them are taken from an explanation from the book.

I have issues with certain words/phrases... they set off an internal
alarm inside of me... like the words/phrases 'how to behave' 'instill'
and some others that I can't think of off the top of my head right now.

>They don't advocate letting the child
>endanger themselves, but a few hours spend cold or hungry teach very
>strong lessons!! That's my idea of unparenting.

Can you expound upon this?

Here is what I'm thinking what it means.. I'd just like to be sure:
COLD: Instead of arguing with the kid who swears they won't be cold, let
them go out without their coat and don't insist they wear one. If they
are cold they will learn the 'natural consequence'?


> I've visited the
>TCS website and it seems to me that not requiring your child to wear
>a seatbelt borders on child abuse!!

Agreed here. There are no disputes when it comes to safety. Which of
course means different things to different people. Another tough concept.

I have a sister who will swear almost everything is unsafe. She will sit
there and tell me the consequence of everything I let my son do. Her poor
daughter gets the brunt of this. Lasts summer she insisted to the day
camp folks that an outing on the Long Island Railroad is a bad idea
because the gap between the platform is too large. They told her that
there would be guides to help the kids on and off. She must of put the
idea of fear so deep into her daughter's mind.. that well.. you guessed
it.. there were no guides at the doors and the kid fell between the train
and the platform.. a fatality if it wasn't for a kind passer-by who
pulled the kid to saftey just before the train took off.

regards,
kolleen

Tia Leschke

>This year Quinton most days did not want to wear a coat and preferred to
>just hold it. We fought with ourselves at first on it. . . you know. . . we
>know how cold it is outside, etc. Then we decided to just let him be. He
>really never got cold most of the time until yesterday. He had played outside
>with his dad for an hour or so and came in shivering, saying. . .I am
>coooooold. LOL. Oh man, I put in way too many battles that I really don't
>need to. Those conditioned responses are sooo difficult to change sometimes.

LOL! I used to do that. Then I realized that Lars is part polar bear. He
gets it from his father. I stopped telling him what and how much to wear
unless he was sick. Then I figured I got to decide since I was the one who
would be getting up in the middle of the night with him when he was
miserable with his illness. Now that he's older, what he wears is his
business all the time.
Tia

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
Eleanor Roosevelt
*********************************************
Tia Leschke
leschke@...
On Vancouver Island

Tia Leschke

>
>This is how we know it's spring! Wyndham starts wearing his winter
>coat. When it's 10 degrees outside, he just wears a sweat jacket.
>But come spring, there's that winter coat!
>Now that I think about it, maybe it just takes him a whole season to
>adjust to changing which coat to wear!

I have a cute picture of Noah, taken one summer. He was wearing his winter
boots and coat..........and nothing else.
Tia

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
Eleanor Roosevelt
*********************************************
Tia Leschke
leschke@...
On Vancouver Island

Katy Clark

Here's what it says in the introduction: "Effective parenting centers around love: love that is not permissive, love that doesn't tolerate disrespect, but also love that is powerful enough to allow kids to make mistakes and permit them to live with the consequences of those mistakes...It will teach them to think, to decide and to live with their decisions."
Check out the website www.loveandlogic.com for more info.
Kolleen <Kolleen@...> wrote: >Katy C. wrote:
>Has anyone else read "Parenting with Love and Logic" it's fabulous!
>Basically it's about letting the world teach the child how to behave
>through natural consequences.

Katy, I am not familiar with the book. But can you tell me if those are
your words or some of them are taken from an explanation from the book.

I have issues with certain words/phrases... they set off an internal
alarm inside of me... like the words/phrases 'how to behave' 'instill'
and some others that I can't think of off the top of my head right now.

>They don't advocate letting the child
>endanger themselves, but a few hours spend cold or hungry teach very
>strong lessons!! That's my idea of unparenting.

Can you expound upon this?

Here is what I'm thinking what it means.. I'd just like to be sure:
COLD: Instead of arguing with the kid who swears they won't be cold, let
them go out without their coat and don't insist they wear one. If they
are cold they will learn the 'natural consequence'?


> I've visited the
>TCS website and it seems to me that not requiring your child to wear
>a seatbelt borders on child abuse!!

Agreed here. There are no disputes when it comes to safety. Which of
course means different things to different people. Another tough concept.

I have a sister who will swear almost everything is unsafe. She will sit
there and tell me the consequence of everything I let my son do. Her poor
daughter gets the brunt of this. Lasts summer she insisted to the day
camp folks that an outing on the Long Island Railroad is a bad idea
because the gap between the platform is too large. They told her that
there would be guides to help the kids on and off. She must of put the
idea of fear so deep into her daughter's mind.. that well.. you guessed
it.. there were no guides at the doors and the kid fell between the train
and the platform.. a fatality if it wasn't for a kind passer-by who
pulled the kid to saftey just before the train took off.

regards,
kolleen

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Lara Nabours

How about we change this subject line to Re: love and logic? That book is a far, far cry from TCS, IMNSHO!

Living Joyfully,
Lara Nabours
"This above all; to thine own self be true."
-William Shakespeare



From: Katy Clark katyclark1969@...:

Subject: Re: Unparenting and TCS

Here's what it says in the introduction: "Effective parenting centers around love: love that is not permissive, love that doesn't tolerate disrespect, but also love that is powerful enough to allow kids to make mistakes and permit them to live with the consequences of those mistakes...It will teach them to think, to decide and to live with their decisions."

Check out the website www.loveandlogic.com for more info.





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