Sara Johnson

Hi, my name is Sara. I have 3 kids: Jade (b)7, Zoe (g) 4.5 & Savitri (g) 8
weeks. We live in West Linn, OR which is on the outskirts of Portland. I
value unschooling along with other aspects of natural living (eating raw
foods, unassisted childbirth, extended breastfeeding, natural healing, etc.)
I unschooled until last year when I decided to put Jade in 1st grade. I
had been unable to figure out his interests & I could see how bored he was &
he's been resentful of his sister since she was born. So I thought school
might give him something all his own & feed his outgoing social nature. I
hoped we'd see an improvement in his negative behavior. He was behind
everyone but caught up once he got into the groove. He started by memorizing
& then it seems like he figured out how to process info in his brain & is
really loving learning. But there's all the negative social/behavioral
effects of being in school that will only get worse as he goes up in grades.
His negative behavior hasn't changed a bit & now he's added some other
negative habits as well. He knows I'm not putting him in next year but he'll
finish up the year. He seems okay with it. I honestly don't know how I'll
handle him. He doesn't give me very good cues about his interests. He also
drains me quickly & he always has. I am already overwhelmed just with my 4yo
at home with a newborn. The baby doesn't suck right so I am pumping milk for
her around the clock. This really limits my ability to go places & to engage
with the 4yo for any period of time becuase the time in between pumps always
seems filled with making food, cleaning up, showers, brushing teeth, running
errands. I make beautiful food & beautiful children but other than that I
lack creativity & don't think I'm much fun as a mom. Of course I've spent a
lot of my time as a mom pregnant & peuking (4.5 pregnancies) or exhausted
from nursing every 3 hours (5+ years). I'm not complaining, but rather just
trying to put myself out there & see if any of you can relate & how you've
handled it. The other major challenge I should mention is money. It seems
we're always just scraping by & borrowing money (pre-spending)just to have
food in the house. To offer them more fullness in life I'd like to be able
to afford books, toys, museums, etc that they're interested in. My seasonal
allergies have really gotten in the way of all the nature things I'd like to
do also. I hope I don't come across as grossly negative, I'm just a tired,
overwhelmed mama who wants to give them all I can & I'm looking for ideas,
support, encouragement, etc. Glad you're all out there giving this gift to
your children.

Blessings,
Sara J.


_________________________________________________________________
Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com/intl.asp.

Bonni Sollars

Sara J., Hi, I'm Bonni. I live in Springfield-Eugene area of Oregon. I
also am interested in raw foodism, although I seem to do it for seasons
at a time separated by times of eating cooked foods. I first was turned
on to it a couple of years ago. I have four kids, and it's been a while
since I had them as young as yours, but I can relate to your feelings. I
hope you will see that you are a good mom and it is okay to be tired and
discouraged now and then throughout motherhood. As for boredom, since
starting to unschool all my kids, which is only this last year, when they
get bored and come to me to entertain them, my "mantra" is "boredom. is.
the soil. in which. imagination. grows." And since I've not been
feeling so obligated to entertain them, they have learned to use their
minds to find their own interests. Now occasionally, my seven y.o.
daughter comes to me and says, "You're right mom, when I am bored my mind
starts thinking about things." It's my job to offer them things and
their job to decide what to pursue or not. Then, it's my job to listen
and not hinder them from pursuing their interests. Surely your son has
some interests. What did he do when he was at home? What does he do now
in his spare time? That is his interest. A good book I am recommending
right now is How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will
Talk. I don't know the author. But I got it at the local library and
took notes. It's really made my job as a mom easier and has improved my
relationship with my children, and even with my husband(big kid). To
keep your son from draining you, you might consider how much and at what
times you want to devote just to him. Then he won't expect your
attention at times when you need to give it to baby or to resting, but
will be secure knowing certain times are just for him. Anyhow, it
sounds like you are a bit overwhelmed with finances and children. I have
been there before and still am at times. Sometimes it helps me to sit
down and pray the serenity prayer and make a list of what I can change
and what I cannot change. Peace.
Bonni

donabak

A good book I am recommending
> right now is How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will
> Talk. I don't know the author. But I got it at the local library
and
> took notes.

The author is Adele Faber. She also has a book out for school and
home educators called How to talk so Kids Can Learn. I have read them
both and also have an audio tape of the author discussing her book.
Her techniques really do work - even with husbands! <big grin>

If you do a search at Amazon.com on Adele Faber it will pull up the
above titles. Often, you can find them in used book stores because
they are so popular. It is almost certain that they will be in your
local public library.

Another author who uses a similar method of talking to kids (but
doesn't outline it as well as Faber) is Barbara Coloroso - "Kids are
Worth It! Giving Your Child the Gift of Inner Discipline"

Coloroso Website: http://www.kidsareworthit.com/

The teachings of these two authors have led me onto reading a third
author who has a very thought provoking message, her name is Alice
Miller. Her books: "Banished Knowledge : Facing Childhood Injuries"
and "For Your Own Good" among several others. They all relate to
behavior in children and the processes that we use to discipline and
why.

Alice Miller's website is: The Natural Child Project @
http://www.naturalchild.com/alice_miller/

Happy reading!

Dona Baker

Freedom Panther

Hi Sara!

Not much time this morning, as I'm just back from a few days away and am
checking e-mail among other things, doing my best to get caught up.

For now, "big, warm, extended hug...as extended as you feel you'd like,"
and a happy hello. Hang in there.

This is a FABULOUS GROUP OF PEOPLE and, although I've been just a very short
time with this list, everyone has been so very kind and helpful.

Beautiful Blessings,

Freedompanther




>From: "Sara Johnson" <bevibrant@...>
>Reply-To: [email protected]
>To: [email protected]
>Subject: [Unschooling-dotcom] Intro from Sara J.
>Date: Thu, 28 Feb 2002 16:29:56 -0800
>
>Hi, my name is Sara. I have 3 kids: Jade (b)7, Zoe (g) 4.5 & Savitri (g) 8
>weeks. We live in West Linn, OR which is on the outskirts of Portland. I
>value unschooling along with other aspects of natural living (eating raw
>foods, unassisted childbirth, extended breastfeeding, natural healing,
>etc.)
> I unschooled until last year when I decided to put Jade in 1st grade. I
>had been unable to figure out his interests & I could see how bored he was
>&
>he's been resentful of his sister since she was born. So I thought school
>might give him something all his own & feed his outgoing social nature. I
>hoped we'd see an improvement in his negative behavior. He was behind
>everyone but caught up once he got into the groove. He started by
>memorizing
>& then it seems like he figured out how to process info in his brain & is
>really loving learning. But there's all the negative social/behavioral
>effects of being in school that will only get worse as he goes up in
>grades.
>His negative behavior hasn't changed a bit & now he's added some other
>negative habits as well. He knows I'm not putting him in next year but
>he'll
>finish up the year. He seems okay with it. I honestly don't know how I'll
>handle him. He doesn't give me very good cues about his interests. He also
>drains me quickly & he always has. I am already overwhelmed just with my
>4yo
>at home with a newborn. The baby doesn't suck right so I am pumping milk
>for
>her around the clock. This really limits my ability to go places & to
>engage
>with the 4yo for any period of time becuase the time in between pumps
>always
>seems filled with making food, cleaning up, showers, brushing teeth,
>running
>errands. I make beautiful food & beautiful children but other than that I
>lack creativity & don't think I'm much fun as a mom. Of course I've spent a
>lot of my time as a mom pregnant & peuking (4.5 pregnancies) or exhausted
>from nursing every 3 hours (5+ years). I'm not complaining, but rather just
>trying to put myself out there & see if any of you can relate & how you've
>handled it. The other major challenge I should mention is money. It seems
>we're always just scraping by & borrowing money (pre-spending)just to have
>food in the house. To offer them more fullness in life I'd like to be able
>to afford books, toys, museums, etc that they're interested in. My
>seasonal
>allergies have really gotten in the way of all the nature things I'd like
>to
>do also. I hope I don't come across as grossly negative, I'm just a tired,
>overwhelmed mama who wants to give them all I can & I'm looking for ideas,
>support, encouragement, etc. Glad you're all out there giving this gift to
>your children.
>
>Blessings,
>Sara J.
>
>
>_________________________________________________________________
>Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com/intl.asp.
>


_________________________________________________________________
Join the world�s largest e-mail service with MSN Hotmail.
http://www.hotmail.com

Sarah Carothers

LOL, Freedompanther :-)! You really *did* get confused about where
you were/are!
Sarah
ps.. thanks for the compliments anyway!


On Tue, 05 Mar 2002 13:49:19 +0000, Freedom Panther wrote:
}Hi Sara!
}
}Not much time this morning, as I'm just back from a few days away
}and am checking e-mail among other things, doing my best to get
}caught up.
}
}For now, "big, warm, extended hug...as extended as you feel you'd
}like," and a happy hello. Hang in there.
}
}This is a FABULOUS GROUP OF PEOPLE and, although I've been just a
}very short time with this list, everyone has been so very kind and
}helpful.
}
}Beautiful Blessings,
}
}Freedompanther


--
Sarah Carothers, puddles@... on 05/03/2002



[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]