Insight into my 8 year old non-reader
Djuana M Fish
Dear List,
I've mentioned to you a time or two about my daughter who is 8 but
doesn't read yet. Her 6 year old sister is beginning to read. Well, I
got some insight into the situation and thought I'd share it with you.
A few weeks ago Danae, the 6 year old, was reading aloud to me in our
living room. My dh and Kaitlin, the 8 year old, were having a snack at
the kitchen table, which is basically in the same room and they could
hear too. I overheard Kaitlin tell my dh, " I don't want to sound like
that!! It sounds terrible!" Danae sounds out most of the words, which
isn't smooth, fluent, reading and Kaitlin doesn't like how it sounds.
Thats a big reason why she doesn't read, I think. It doesn't bother
Danae to sound like that, though.
I'm still running under the assumption that Kaitlin will get there when
she's ready, like she has with everything else. My best guess is that
she'll put it all together in her head and just "suddenly" be reading.
Hearing her comments was actually rather encouraging since she doesn't
really talk about what she thinks much.
Just wanted to share. Djuana
I've mentioned to you a time or two about my daughter who is 8 but
doesn't read yet. Her 6 year old sister is beginning to read. Well, I
got some insight into the situation and thought I'd share it with you.
A few weeks ago Danae, the 6 year old, was reading aloud to me in our
living room. My dh and Kaitlin, the 8 year old, were having a snack at
the kitchen table, which is basically in the same room and they could
hear too. I overheard Kaitlin tell my dh, " I don't want to sound like
that!! It sounds terrible!" Danae sounds out most of the words, which
isn't smooth, fluent, reading and Kaitlin doesn't like how it sounds.
Thats a big reason why she doesn't read, I think. It doesn't bother
Danae to sound like that, though.
I'm still running under the assumption that Kaitlin will get there when
she's ready, like she has with everything else. My best guess is that
she'll put it all together in her head and just "suddenly" be reading.
Hearing her comments was actually rather encouraging since she doesn't
really talk about what she thinks much.
Just wanted to share. Djuana
Joseph Fuerst
> A few weeks ago Danae, the 6 year old, was reading aloud to me in ourYou know, my oldest dd has a bit of a perfectionist streak going....(though
> living room. My dh and Kaitlin, the 8 year old, were having a snack at
> the kitchen table, which is basically in the same room and they could
> hear too. I overheard Kaitlin tell my dh, " I don't want to sound like
> that!! It sounds terrible!" Danae sounds out most of the words, which
> isn't smooth, fluent, reading and Kaitlin doesn't like how it sounds.
> Thats a big reason why she doesn't read, I think. It doesn't bother
> Danae to sound like that, though.
>
I'm not saying that your dd soes!), but my dd seems to want to be able to do
it right with no mistakes, rather than toddle along, making fewer mistakes
each time. I have also wondered whether that is part of why she's hesitant.
Of course, I wonder if the perfactionist thing comes genetically or
have we (parents) somehow unwittingly instilled it?
My oldest dd did not ride her bike w/out traing wheels until she was
8-1/2. She just did it one day, when she was mentally ready. My own
attitudes neede growth then, my efforts were a bit on the teaching side,
or at least the 'helping' side. She's a 'hands off' type, I've come to
realize.....I just need to notice, and be there for questions when she
asks. I have tols her that I've read that many children do the same thing
with reading and that she may just find one day that she can 'do it' when
she makes up her mind. I am finally able to say that to her with no agenda
or expectaion of my own.
Susan
Lynda
That would be son #3. He absolutely has to be able to things *instantly*
and perfectly. So he has done just about everything there is in sports,
he's a "natural." And math and science he simply understands right out the
gate. Little, few or no explanations needed, they are just something that
he "gets."
He hates reading. He couldn't learn it instantly and has never liked it
since. I mean, he reads but he doesn't enjoy reading the way the rest of us
do. But I wouldn't say he was hesitant to learn so much as he simply
refused to do it because he couldn't do it perfectly. When he did learn, it
was relatively overnight but it was because he needed the ability and he
gritted his teeth and moaned and groaned because he couldn't do it perfectly
from the get go.
Lynda
and perfectly. So he has done just about everything there is in sports,
he's a "natural." And math and science he simply understands right out the
gate. Little, few or no explanations needed, they are just something that
he "gets."
He hates reading. He couldn't learn it instantly and has never liked it
since. I mean, he reads but he doesn't enjoy reading the way the rest of us
do. But I wouldn't say he was hesitant to learn so much as he simply
refused to do it because he couldn't do it perfectly. When he did learn, it
was relatively overnight but it was because he needed the ability and he
gritted his teeth and moaned and groaned because he couldn't do it perfectly
from the get go.
Lynda
----- Original Message -----
From: "Joseph Fuerst" <fuerst@...>
To: <[email protected]>
Sent: Wednesday, February 06, 2002 5:20 AM
Subject: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] Insight into my 8 year old non-reader
> You know, my oldest dd has a bit of a perfectionist streak
going....(though
> I'm not saying that your dd soes!), but my dd seems to want to be able to
do
> it right with no mistakes, rather than toddle along, making fewer
mistakes
> each time. I have also wondered whether that is part of why she's
hesitant.
> Of course, I wonder if the perfactionist thing comes genetically or
> have we (parents) somehow unwittingly instilled it?
> My oldest dd did not ride her bike w/out traing wheels until she was
> 8-1/2. She just did it one day, when she was mentally ready. My own
> attitudes neede growth then, my efforts were a bit on the teaching side,
> or at least the 'helping' side. She's a 'hands off' type, I've come to
> realize.....I just need to notice, and be there for questions when she
> asks. I have tols her that I've read that many children do the same thing
> with reading and that she may just find one day that she can 'do it' when
> she makes up her mind. I am finally able to say that to her with no
agenda
> or expectaion of my own.
> Susan
>
>
>
>
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Bonni Sollars
It's amazing how when we just listen we can learn so much about a child's
perspective. I found out by listening to my seven year old dd talk to
her brother that she hated math flash cards when she was in school. I
had dropped them because she had showed no interest when I showed them to
her. We play a game with dice now, which is how I found out she gets
add, plus, subtract and minus mixed up. No wonder she wasn't memorizing
math facts in school! Now if she wants to play addition and subtraction
with dice, she asks me, and we quit when she's ready. Unschooling is
awesome, I love it!
Bonni
perspective. I found out by listening to my seven year old dd talk to
her brother that she hated math flash cards when she was in school. I
had dropped them because she had showed no interest when I showed them to
her. We play a game with dice now, which is how I found out she gets
add, plus, subtract and minus mixed up. No wonder she wasn't memorizing
math facts in school! Now if she wants to play addition and subtraction
with dice, she asks me, and we quit when she's ready. Unschooling is
awesome, I love it!
Bonni