jalecroy

Rachael,

Thank you for pointing this out. It was encouraging for me.

My 20-year old son is *totally* unmotivated about anything in life,
especially things which involve responsibility. He and I had tea
together last week (he was doing the good son bit because of my
birthday) and he mentioned that he wants to move to another part of the
country. I said, "Go for it!" My instinct immediately told me that would
be a good thing for him.

He was born here in the South, raised in a small town, and -- other than
3 years when we lived in the Aleutians when he was in second grade --
has never traveled more than a few hundred miles away.

He doesn't like the summers down here (I don't either; I'm originally
from Illinois) and is talking about moving to Seattle or somewhere like
that. He's a waiter and feels like he could always find work. Of course,
I wonder if he realizes that he'll need *money* for this little
adventure. LOL

I'm going to encourage him to go! He needs a wake-up call to life.

Denise


<I wanted to say that I was one of those unmotivating thoroughly
fruistrating teenagers, and the trick was travel. Once I traveled I
realized how much I hadnt done yet. Out local college ahs stuff that
give kids opportunities to go almost everywhere. Rachael>




--
"Every leaf speaks bliss to me
Fluttering from the autumn tree."

- Emily Bronte
<>- <>-
<>-
<>-

Thomas and Nanci Kuykendall

>My 20-year old son is *totally* unmotivated about anything in life,
>especially things which involve responsibility. ...he mentioned that he
wants to move to another part of the
>country. I said, "Go for it!" My instinct immediately told me that would
>be a good thing for him.
>
>I'm going to encourage him to go! He needs a wake-up call to life.
>
>Denise

Good for you! It is refreshing to hear about someone with a son whom they
encourage to be independent. In my family the boys were SOOOOOO spoiled.
My brother (27) lives with my parents still (along with his wife and two
children) because he does not know what he wants to be when he grows up and
does not make enough money right now to support his family. I keep telling
them that he needs to get a different job and move away (far away) from our
parents so he can learn how to be responsible for himself and be truly "on
his own." His wife could not agree more. She is in school full time, has
finished her degree and has another year to complete her certification to
teach High School. She is absolutely sick to death of being nagged and
"mothered" by my/his mom, who is definately the intrusive type. I think he
would live there happily forever if nobody pushes him. Getting meals
cooked for him most days no matter WHAT his varying schedule might be,
having free babysitters any night of the week, Not worrying about bills or
house maintenance, etc.

[email protected]

In a message dated 99-09-22 11:08:50 EDT, you write:

<< s never traveled more than a few hundred miles away.

He doesn't like the summers down here (I don't either; I'm originally
from Illinois) and is talking about moving to Seattle or somewhere like
that. He's a waiter and feels like he could always find work. Of course,
I wonder if he realizes that he'll need *money* for this little
adventure. LOL

I'm going to encourage him to go! He needs a wake-up call to life.

Denise >>


The way I did it was that I hitchhiked, but I dont reccomend it, it isnt a
safe way to go about it. Its a long story of why I did it that way, but I
wanted to suggest to you that there are cruises that are looking for waiters,
and you live on the ship for a summer or a semester, you make a lot of money
because all your expenses are paid, and you get to go somewhere like Mexico,
Costa Rica, etc. maybe this would be a good option for him, at least to save
up the money to move wehre he wants. Also he could try youth hostils, which
are supposed to be fairly cheap, and I know in Seattle there are resteraunts
that provide housing in trade for no paycheck (although you do get tips, and
I am told this is a pretty good deal). The maint hing is that he get out
there, and you get a 1800 number!! (ITs cheapest that way!)

I think you sound like you are doing all you can. how about leaving the
Teenage Liberation Handbook somewhere where he will find it? Its excellent
and I wish I had it when I was that age, just so I would have known that what
I was doing was great!

Good luck-- you are brave to encourage him to move away from you, because I
am a mother now and can imagine that would make you sad. But if hes doing
whats best for him, you are doing the right thing by encouraging him.
PLease ask if you need any mroe ideas-- these are just a few that my fellow
travelers have found--

Rachael