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Tami,
opposites attract! even tho it may be discouraging that you are finding
things out after 19yrs of marriage, dont panic. there is beauty in your
blend, and with that in mind you will come to your answers....

<< I think all four of my kids
have thrived by unschooling, but my husband is very, very worried (and so our
my parents, and I have to admit that at times, they can even get me worried
when they keep going on and on about it>>

worry and stress make me grouchy, too! i would guess the whole "unsatisfied
w/the progress" thing has a lot to do with it... your letter brings up a lot
of issues because i dont think i will be able to be very trusting if my kids
are verrrry unmotivated teenagers!!! i can tell that it would frustrate me,
so i am thinking ahead about things i may have to face in the future.

as a sidenote, your son may enjoy the book by steven covey, 7 habits of
highly effective people as an antidote to non-motivation... it reminds them
that they have choices about how they are spending their time. and helps them
ask themselves what is important to them...

altho it sounds like your son has some great things going with scouts and
church... and, like you i dont expect children at age 18 to know what they
want to do with their lives! (i certainly did not!)

erin

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In a message dated 99-09-21 16:20:41 EDT, you write:

<< like you i dont expect children at age 18 to know what they
want to do with their lives! (i certainly did not!)

erin >>


I wanted to say that I was one of those unmotivating thoroughly fruistrating
teenagers, and the trick was travel. Once I traveled I realized how much I
hadnt done yet. Out local college ahs stuff that give kids opportunities to
go almost everywhere.

Thought I would put in my 2 cents!

Rachael

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In a message dated 9/21/99 3:20:31 PM Central Daylight Time, MORELFAM@...
writes:

<< altho it sounds like your son has some great things going with scouts and
church... and, like you i dont expect children at age 18 to know what they
want to do with their lives! (i certainly did not!)
>>

Erin,
LOL I am just learning what I want to do with my life now!! And I am
39!
I guess we are silly expecting more out of 17 or 18 year olds than we do
ourselves!
Tami

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In a message dated 9/21/99 9:31:08 PM, FreeSchool@... writes:

<<LOL I am just learning what I want to do with my life now!! And I am
39! I guess we are silly expecting more out of 17 or 18 year olds than we do
ourselves!>>

It's not just you. I notice other people doing this as well. People who are
in their 30s, who are unsatisfied with their careers, seem to kick themselves
and wish they had worked harder in school and in their early career years.
Then they look at their teens and don't understand why they can't zap their
world-weary maturity straight into the heads of their teens. It's just not
possible for a teen to instantly leap forwards 20 years in maturity, no
matter how much their parents want them to.

(This is not aimed at your family -- just a tangent inspired by your smart
observation.)

Betsy