Re: [a moment's peace
Sarah Carothers
Hello again Pat,
Think of it like a commune. Everybody has freedoms but you also have to
respect your fellow munies :-) (is that a word?) If you are used to the
kids being in bed at, say 10, then what you do now is tell them that they do
not have to adhere to a certain bedtime *but* they still have to respect
your privacy and your need for quiet time. This has nothing to do with
unschooling.. it has to do with them learning how to live under the same
roof with others.
If it's quiet time you need, tell the kids that at 10:00, you plan on blah
blah blahing (reading?) and they are free to do something quietly in their
rooms or in the basement. If they choose not to, then *you* might just have
to choose to get up at 6a.m, playing that army wake-up call <g> and show
them what disrespect for others' needs feels like. I mean, tell them once
what is expected of them. If they don't do whatever it is, don't nag.. just
show them how it feels if the shoe were on the other foot.
You're coming along great, Pat. Just think outside the box ;-)!
Sarah Carothers
~oo~
puddles@...
After giving my children the freedom to decide their own bedtime a few days
ago, I am beginning to miss my few hours of quiet time. This is very hard.
How does everyone else get a moments piece?
Pat
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Think of it like a commune. Everybody has freedoms but you also have to
respect your fellow munies :-) (is that a word?) If you are used to the
kids being in bed at, say 10, then what you do now is tell them that they do
not have to adhere to a certain bedtime *but* they still have to respect
your privacy and your need for quiet time. This has nothing to do with
unschooling.. it has to do with them learning how to live under the same
roof with others.
If it's quiet time you need, tell the kids that at 10:00, you plan on blah
blah blahing (reading?) and they are free to do something quietly in their
rooms or in the basement. If they choose not to, then *you* might just have
to choose to get up at 6a.m, playing that army wake-up call <g> and show
them what disrespect for others' needs feels like. I mean, tell them once
what is expected of them. If they don't do whatever it is, don't nag.. just
show them how it feels if the shoe were on the other foot.
You're coming along great, Pat. Just think outside the box ;-)!
Sarah Carothers
~oo~
puddles@...
After giving my children the freedom to decide their own bedtime a few days
ago, I am beginning to miss my few hours of quiet time. This is very hard.
How does everyone else get a moments piece?
Pat
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Lynda
<bg> Moonies <g>
Lynda
Lynda
----- Original Message -----
From: "Sarah Carothers" <puddles@...>
> Hello again Pat,
> Think of it like a commune. Everybody has freedoms but you also have to
> respect your fellow munies :-) (is that a word?) If you are used to the
> kids being in bed at, say 10, then what you do now is tell them that they
do
> not have to adhere to a certain bedtime *but* they still have to respect
> your privacy and your need for quiet time. This has nothing to do with
> unschooling.. it has to do with them learning how to live under the same
> roof with others.
> If it's quiet time you need, tell the kids that at 10:00, you plan on blah
> blah blahing (reading?) and they are free to do something quietly in their
> rooms or in the basement. If they choose not to, then *you* might just
have
> to choose to get up at 6a.m, playing that army wake-up call <g> and show
> them what disrespect for others' needs feels like. I mean, tell them once
> what is expected of them. If they don't do whatever it is, don't nag..
just
> show them how it feels if the shoe were on the other foot.
>
> You're coming along great, Pat. Just think outside the box ;-)!
>
> Sarah Carothers
Sarah Carothers
<<bg> Moonies <g>
Lynda
help my alsheimer (sp?) mind remember that word :-)
Sarah Carothers
~oo~
puddles@...
Lynda
>Thanks, Lynda ! I knew somebody on the list had to be OAD like me and could
help my alsheimer (sp?) mind remember that word :-)
Sarah Carothers
~oo~
puddles@...
Lorraine Goods
On Mon, 7 Jan 2002, Sarah Carothers wrote:
the day or early evening, to read a book while my son is otherwise
engaged. We have an early bedtime for the kid so that my husband and I can
have some time alone. I've never been able to make love while my child is
awake in the house (except when he was a lot younger). Mostly, I guess,
bc we live in a small apartment. I have a hard time
relaxing. I realize this is a very personal issue, but how do some of
y'all deal with that? The husband works in the early am, and is out like a
light at around 10:30.
Best,
Lynn
>If you are used to theIn my family the problem isn't getting quiet time. I'm often able, during
> kids being in bed at, say 10, then what you do now is tell them that they do
> not have to adhere to a certain bedtime *but* they still have to respect
> your privacy and your need for quiet time.
the day or early evening, to read a book while my son is otherwise
engaged. We have an early bedtime for the kid so that my husband and I can
have some time alone. I've never been able to make love while my child is
awake in the house (except when he was a lot younger). Mostly, I guess,
bc we live in a small apartment. I have a hard time
relaxing. I realize this is a very personal issue, but how do some of
y'all deal with that? The husband works in the early am, and is out like a
light at around 10:30.
Best,
Lynn
Sarah Carothers
Lynn asked:
<We have an early bedtime for the kid so that my husband and I can
have some time alone. I've never been able to make love while my child is
awake in the house (except when he was a lot younger). Mostly, I guess,
bc we live in a small apartment. I have a hard time
relaxing. I realize this is a very personal issue, but how do some of
y'all deal with that? The husband works in the early am, and is out like a
light at around 10:30.
Best,
Lynn
If it's good enough ( the sex, that is) it's worth waking up for. That goes
to either of ya ;-)... middle of the night or early in the a.m.
<g>
Around here, I get my full 8 or 9 hours <bwg>
Sarah
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
<We have an early bedtime for the kid so that my husband and I can
have some time alone. I've never been able to make love while my child is
awake in the house (except when he was a lot younger). Mostly, I guess,
bc we live in a small apartment. I have a hard time
relaxing. I realize this is a very personal issue, but how do some of
y'all deal with that? The husband works in the early am, and is out like a
light at around 10:30.
Best,
Lynn
>>>>>>>>>>>.<g>
If it's good enough ( the sex, that is) it's worth waking up for. That goes
to either of ya ;-)... middle of the night or early in the a.m.
<g>
Around here, I get my full 8 or 9 hours <bwg>
Sarah
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 1/8/2002 7:04:14 PM Eastern Standard Time,
lg96@... writes:
I could really relate when you say you just can't relax. I don't know how
much feedback you'll get on this one :), but lately my normal routine after
'the door is closed', no matter what time of day or night, is taking a
suspicious quick peek - under the bed and in the closet! Talk about
'paranoia'! lol The little critters are EVERYWHERE!!! Though, I can't say
this has hindered us too, too much... we did manage to have SIX! Haha!
~ Lisa
Ps- Also I enjoyed what you wrote on the TV thread about your college friends
- that was a pretty balanced remark... :)
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
lg96@... writes:
> I have a hard timeLynn,
> relaxing. I realize this is a very personal issue, but how do some of
> y'all deal with that? The husband works in the early am, and is out like a
> light at around 10:30.
>
> Best,
> Lynn
>
I could really relate when you say you just can't relax. I don't know how
much feedback you'll get on this one :), but lately my normal routine after
'the door is closed', no matter what time of day or night, is taking a
suspicious quick peek - under the bed and in the closet! Talk about
'paranoia'! lol The little critters are EVERYWHERE!!! Though, I can't say
this has hindered us too, too much... we did manage to have SIX! Haha!
~ Lisa
Ps- Also I enjoyed what you wrote on the TV thread about your college friends
- that was a pretty balanced remark... :)
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Lorraine Goods
On Tue, 8 Jan 2002, Sarah Carothers wrote:
both (early hours and middle of the night), and evening hours work best
for us. The problem is I'm an insomniac and have to be on a very strict
schedule for bedtime (regular cardio exercise and daily meditation help
too). As my son gets older, though, he will definitely be staying up later
so this problem will ultimately have to be dealt with. I myself had all
bedtime restrictions lifted around age 10.
Best,
Lynn
> <g>It is that good, we are really blessed in that way. We've actually tried
> If it's good enough ( the sex, that is) it's worth waking up for. That goes
> to either of ya ;-)... middle of the night or early in the a.m.
> <g>
> Around here, I get my full 8 or 9 hours <bwg>
> Sarah
both (early hours and middle of the night), and evening hours work best
for us. The problem is I'm an insomniac and have to be on a very strict
schedule for bedtime (regular cardio exercise and daily meditation help
too). As my son gets older, though, he will definitely be staying up later
so this problem will ultimately have to be dealt with. I myself had all
bedtime restrictions lifted around age 10.
Best,
Lynn
Lorraine Goods
On Tue, 8 Jan 2002 KingsDaughterThe@... wrote:
my door to him at night. He wouldn't have any one else to bounce off of
and would feel, I'm afraid, left out, y'know? Not having siblings to hang
out w/when mom and dad are otherwise occupied and not letting him in the
bedroom. He has his own bed and room but we have an "open bed" policy and
he often ends up in ours sometime during the course of the night. He's
five.
Best,
Lynn
> I could really relate when you say you just can't relax. I don't know howVery cool. I guess bc I have just one child I would feel guilty shutting
> much feedback you'll get on this one :), but lately my normal routine after
> 'the door is closed', no matter what time of day or night, is taking a
> suspicious quick peek - under the bed and in the closet! Talk about
> 'paranoia'! lol The little critters are EVERYWHERE!!! Though, I can't say
> this has hindered us too, too much... we did manage to have SIX! Haha!
my door to him at night. He wouldn't have any one else to bounce off of
and would feel, I'm afraid, left out, y'know? Not having siblings to hang
out w/when mom and dad are otherwise occupied and not letting him in the
bedroom. He has his own bed and room but we have an "open bed" policy and
he often ends up in ours sometime during the course of the night. He's
five.
> Ps- Also I enjoyed what you wrote on the TV thread about your college friendsThanks.
> - that was a pretty balanced remark... :)
Best,
Lynn
Sarah Carothers
I wrote:
<Around here, I get my full 8 or 9 hours <bwg>
OF SLEEP!!!!!!!!! <g>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
<Around here, I get my full 8 or 9 hours <bwg>
> Sarahclarification:
>
OF SLEEP!!!!!!!!! <g>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Lynda
We ended up installing locks. I swear, no matter the time, day, night,
middle of the night or the wee hours of the morning, the minute you think it
is safe, here comes the pitter pat of little feet!
Thank g/g that they are now past that age!!!
Lynda
middle of the night or the wee hours of the morning, the minute you think it
is safe, here comes the pitter pat of little feet!
Thank g/g that they are now past that age!!!
Lynda
----- Original Message -----
From: <KingsDaughterThe@...>
To: <[email protected]>
Sent: Tuesday, January 08, 2002 4:30 PM
Subject: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] Re: [a moment's peace
> In a message dated 1/8/2002 7:04:14 PM Eastern Standard Time,
> lg96@... writes:
>
> > I have a hard time
> > relaxing. I realize this is a very personal issue, but how do some of
> > y'all deal with that? The husband works in the early am, and is out like
a
> > light at around 10:30.
> >
> > Best,
> > Lynn
> >
>
> Lynn,
>
> I could really relate when you say you just can't relax. I don't know how
> much feedback you'll get on this one :), but lately my normal routine
after
> 'the door is closed', no matter what time of day or night, is taking a
> suspicious quick peek - under the bed and in the closet! Talk about
> 'paranoia'! lol The little critters are EVERYWHERE!!! Though, I can't
say
> this has hindered us too, too much... we did manage to have SIX! Haha!
>
> ~ Lisa
> Ps- Also I enjoyed what you wrote on the TV thread about your college
friends
> - that was a pretty balanced remark... :)
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
>
> Message boards, timely articles, a free newsletter and more!
> Check it all out at: http://www.unschooling.com
>
> To unsubscribe, set preferences, or read archives:
> http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Unschooling-dotcom
>
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> http://www.home-ed-magazine.com
>
>
>
> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/
>
>
Lynda
Geez, whatta spoil sport. Couldn't you leave us with the image of you
running around in red sexy things from Victoria's Secret????
Lynda
running around in red sexy things from Victoria's Secret????
Lynda
----- Original Message -----
From: "Sarah Carothers" <puddles@...>
To: <[email protected]>
Sent: Tuesday, January 08, 2002 5:21 PM
Subject: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] Re: [a moment's peace
> I wrote:
> <Around here, I get my full 8 or 9 hours <bwg>
> > Sarah
> >
>
> clarification:
> OF SLEEP!!!!!!!!! <g>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
>
> Message boards, timely articles, a free newsletter and more!
> Check it all out at: http://www.unschooling.com
>
> To unsubscribe, set preferences, or read archives:
> http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Unschooling-dotcom
>
> Another great list sponsored by Home Education Magazine!
> http://www.home-ed-magazine.com
>
>
>
> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/
>
>
Brynn
We have a lock that is on our door. Puberty has just entered our home, and
it seems like we have to be even MORE careful now. Doesn't make for easy
relaxing at all! Now, we enter into whent the kids stay up late, and I've
been up all day "doing", sometimes I pass out before they do. It doesn't
make for an easy love life.
Brynn
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
it seems like we have to be even MORE careful now. Doesn't make for easy
relaxing at all! Now, we enter into whent the kids stay up late, and I've
been up all day "doing", sometimes I pass out before they do. It doesn't
make for an easy love life.
Brynn
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Candy
I am so glad I found this group!!! My husband and I agonize over this very thing. Our daughter is 4 and an only child. If she can't sleep with us, she cries, and after listening to sobbing for a while, it seems to really put a damper on the mood. :o) We have tried doing a schedule of one night in our bed, and one night in her's, but I have to admit that I am so used to her sleeping with us, that if she does not wind up in our bed, I can't sleep, I keep checking on her because it is so unusual!! I know it is important not completely neglect your marriage, but I think my daughter's need to sleep with us has actually gotten worse the last 6 months instead of better. I always thought as she got older, her need for independence would increase, and she would enjoy her room. We have even tried completely remodeling her room to make it what she likes. We got her involved in choosing the theme, colors, furniture, ect. we got her a bed that looks like a house, even went out and found a pink TV to match everything! She does love her room, but not enough to sleep in it.We are somewhat at a loss of what to do next! She really does not take naps very often any more, and it just breaks my heart to tell her she can't sleep with us. Any suggestions on what has worked? I just joined the group yesterday, so I may have missed earlier discussions.
Candy Oliver
Candy Oliver
----- Original Message -----
From: Lorraine Goods
To: [email protected]
Sent: Tuesday, January 08, 2002 5:13 PM
Subject: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] Re: [a moment's peace
On Tue, 8 Jan 2002 KingsDaughterThe@... wrote:
> I could really relate when you say you just can't relax. I don't know how
> much feedback you'll get on this one :), but lately my normal routine after
> 'the door is closed', no matter what time of day or night, is taking a
> suspicious quick peek - under the bed and in the closet! Talk about
> 'paranoia'! lol The little critters are EVERYWHERE!!! Though, I can't say
> this has hindered us too, too much... we did manage to have SIX! Haha!
Very cool. I guess bc I have just one child I would feel guilty shutting
my door to him at night. He wouldn't have any one else to bounce off of
and would feel, I'm afraid, left out, y'know? Not having siblings to hang
out w/when mom and dad are otherwise occupied and not letting him in the
bedroom. He has his own bed and room but we have an "open bed" policy and
he often ends up in ours sometime during the course of the night. He's
five.
> Ps- Also I enjoyed what you wrote on the TV thread about your college friends
> - that was a pretty balanced remark... :)
Thanks.
Best,
Lynn
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Sarah Carothers
Lynda wrote:
Geez, whatta spoil sport. Couldn't you leave us with the image of you
running around in red sexy things from Victoria's Secret????
Lynda
just wait. I'll get you back :-)!
lol
Sarah<g>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Geez, whatta spoil sport. Couldn't you leave us with the image of you
running around in red sexy things from Victoria's Secret????
Lynda
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>lol! If you weren't such an old, good friend, why I'd..... I'd....
just wait. I'll get you back :-)!
lol
Sarah<g>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Leslie
Hi Candy,
In my book 4 is almost newborn! We have always had a family bed. I might also add that they all breast fed until they were around 5. My partner and I were together for almost 9 years before we had any kids so sex where ever and when ever wasn't an issue. Our kids are now 18, 12 and 7. The 18 year old slept in our family bed or his bed with dad or little brother or little brothers bed etc...until he was 13 or 14. He never sleeps with any of us anymore :~( and we miss him.
We have a king size with a single on the side for the four of us who are left. Our 12 year old is with us unless he stays out at a friends or has friends sleep over. Our baby, who's 7 already, is still always with us. They all have a bedroom complete with a bed and at times, if someone is sick, can't sleep, or wants to have sex, we play musical beds and sleep where ever we're most comfy.
My oldest was extremely clingy and never slept out, except for at my moms, until he was well into his teens. I admit I was worried and had many well meaning people warning me, when he refused to attend sleep overs or even large parties with friends, and we pushed him at times always with negative results. Anyway, to make a long story short, he just got back from a 2 week road trip to Key Largo with his old girl friend and we spent the time cleaning and decorating his room to keep our loneliness at bay :~).
These years of family living have been the best years of my life and I'm not looking forward to an empty bed and a clean house. Soon I'll be looking for a support group for people who didn't send their kids to their rooms or to school and can't live with the peace and quiet. Or maybe we'll open our doors to some wayward teens or become foster parents or something.
Enjoy your little one and don't be afraid of being too close. These are your years together, make the most of it, it will be over before ya know it!!!! You can have sex anywhere but in bed, so what. Just hope your libido doesn't disappear when she does:~)
Leslie
In my book 4 is almost newborn! We have always had a family bed. I might also add that they all breast fed until they were around 5. My partner and I were together for almost 9 years before we had any kids so sex where ever and when ever wasn't an issue. Our kids are now 18, 12 and 7. The 18 year old slept in our family bed or his bed with dad or little brother or little brothers bed etc...until he was 13 or 14. He never sleeps with any of us anymore :~( and we miss him.
We have a king size with a single on the side for the four of us who are left. Our 12 year old is with us unless he stays out at a friends or has friends sleep over. Our baby, who's 7 already, is still always with us. They all have a bedroom complete with a bed and at times, if someone is sick, can't sleep, or wants to have sex, we play musical beds and sleep where ever we're most comfy.
My oldest was extremely clingy and never slept out, except for at my moms, until he was well into his teens. I admit I was worried and had many well meaning people warning me, when he refused to attend sleep overs or even large parties with friends, and we pushed him at times always with negative results. Anyway, to make a long story short, he just got back from a 2 week road trip to Key Largo with his old girl friend and we spent the time cleaning and decorating his room to keep our loneliness at bay :~).
These years of family living have been the best years of my life and I'm not looking forward to an empty bed and a clean house. Soon I'll be looking for a support group for people who didn't send their kids to their rooms or to school and can't live with the peace and quiet. Or maybe we'll open our doors to some wayward teens or become foster parents or something.
Enjoy your little one and don't be afraid of being too close. These are your years together, make the most of it, it will be over before ya know it!!!! You can have sex anywhere but in bed, so what. Just hope your libido doesn't disappear when she does:~)
Leslie
----- Original Message -----
From: Candy
To: [email protected]
Sent: Tuesday, January 08, 2002 8:58 PM
Subject: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] Re: [a moment's peace
I am so glad I found this group!!! My husband and I agonize over this very thing. Our daughter is 4 and an only child. If she can't sleep with us, she cries, and after listening to sobbing for a while, it seems to really put a damper on the mood. :o) We have tried doing a schedule of one night in our bed, and one night in her's, but I have to admit that I am so used to her sleeping with us, that if she does not wind up in our bed, I can't sleep, I keep checking on her because it is so unusual!! I know it is important not completely neglect your marriage, but I think my daughter's need to sleep with us has actually gotten worse the last 6 months instead of better. I always thought as she got older, her need for independence would increase, and she would enjoy her room. We have even tried completely remodeling her room to make it what she likes. We got her involved in choosing the theme, colors, furniture, ect. we got her a bed that looks like a house, even went out and found a pink TV to match everything! She does love her room, but not enough to sleep in it.We are somewhat at a loss of what to do next! She really does not take naps very often any more, and it just breaks my heart to tell her she can't sleep with us. Any suggestions on what has worked? I just joined the group yesterday, so I may have missed earlier discussions.
Candy Oliver
----- Original Message -----
From: Lorraine Goods
To: [email protected]
Sent: Tuesday, January 08, 2002 5:13 PM
Subject: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] Re: [a moment's peace
On Tue, 8 Jan 2002 KingsDaughterThe@... wrote:
> I could really relate when you say you just can't relax. I don't know how
> much feedback you'll get on this one :), but lately my normal routine after
> 'the door is closed', no matter what time of day or night, is taking a
> suspicious quick peek - under the bed and in the closet! Talk about
> 'paranoia'! lol The little critters are EVERYWHERE!!! Though, I can't say
> this has hindered us too, too much... we did manage to have SIX! Haha!
Very cool. I guess bc I have just one child I would feel guilty shutting
my door to him at night. He wouldn't have any one else to bounce off of
and would feel, I'm afraid, left out, y'know? Not having siblings to hang
out w/when mom and dad are otherwise occupied and not letting him in the
bedroom. He has his own bed and room but we have an "open bed" policy and
he often ends up in ours sometime during the course of the night. He's
five.
> Ps- Also I enjoyed what you wrote on the TV thread about your college friends
> - that was a pretty balanced remark... :)
Thanks.
Best,
Lynn
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Yahoo! Groups Sponsor
ADVERTISEMENT
Message boards, timely articles, a free newsletter and more!
Check it all out at: http://www.unschooling.com
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Candy
I think your last statement hit the nail on the head!!! "Just hope your libido doesn't disappear when she does:~)" That is what I am thinking about!! with her growing up what seems like overnight, that is another reason, I myself have a hard time with her being in her own bead. I know the day will all to soon come, when we will be wishing she still wanted to sleep with us. :o) I must have put things completely wrong! I pretty much was looking for what other parents have done that has worked to keep things "going" ;o] And I think the waiting until she goes to sleep in our bed is a good idea! The only down side, is that she can usually outlast my husband and I. But maybe we can outlast her on the weekends! Maybe we can set the alarm clock for sometime in the middle of the night. That's an idea! I think I do need to work on the whole "outside the box" thing.
Candy
Candy
----- Original Message -----
From: Leslie
To: [email protected]
Sent: Tuesday, January 08, 2002 7:12 PM
Subject: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] Re: [a moment's peace
Hi Candy,
In my book 4 is almost newborn! We have always had a family bed. I might also add that they all breast fed until they were around 5. My partner and I were together for almost 9 years before we had any kids so sex where ever and when ever wasn't an issue. Our kids are now 18, 12 and 7. The 18 year old slept in our family bed or his bed with dad or little brother or little brothers bed etc...until he was 13 or 14. He never sleeps with any of us anymore :~( and we miss him.
We have a king size with a single on the side for the four of us who are left. Our 12 year old is with us unless he stays out at a friends or has friends sleep over. Our baby, who's 7 already, is still always with us. They all have a bedroom complete with a bed and at times, if someone is sick, can't sleep, or wants to have sex, we play musical beds and sleep where ever we're most comfy.
My oldest was extremely clingy and never slept out, except for at my moms, until he was well into his teens. I admit I was worried and had many well meaning people warning me, when he refused to attend sleep overs or even large parties with friends, and we pushed him at times always with negative results. Anyway, to make a long story short, he just got back from a 2 week road trip to Key Largo with his old girl friend and we spent the time cleaning and decorating his room to keep our loneliness at bay :~).
These years of family living have been the best years of my life and I'm not looking forward to an empty bed and a clean house. Soon I'll be looking for a support group for people who didn't send their kids to their rooms or to school and can't live with the peace and quiet. Or maybe we'll open our doors to some wayward teens or become foster parents or something.
Enjoy your little one and don't be afraid of being too close. These are your years together, make the most of it, it will be over before ya know it!!!! You can have sex anywhere but in bed, so what. Just hope your libido doesn't disappear when she does:~)
Leslie
----- Original Message -----
From: Candy
To: [email protected]
Sent: Tuesday, January 08, 2002 8:58 PM
Subject: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] Re: [a moment's peace
I am so glad I found this group!!! My husband and I agonize over this very thing. Our daughter is 4 and an only child. If she can't sleep with us, she cries, and after listening to sobbing for a while, it seems to really put a damper on the mood. :o) We have tried doing a schedule of one night in our bed, and one night in her's, but I have to admit that I am so used to her sleeping with us, that if she does not wind up in our bed, I can't sleep, I keep checking on her because it is so unusual!! I know it is important not completely neglect your marriage, but I think my daughter's need to sleep with us has actually gotten worse the last 6 months instead of better. I always thought as she got older, her need for independence would increase, and she would enjoy her room. We have even tried completely remodeling her room to make it what she likes. We got her involved in choosing the theme, colors, furniture, ect. we got her a bed that looks like a house, even went out and found a pink TV to match everything! She does love her room, but not enough to sleep in it.We are somewhat at a loss of what to do next! She really does not take naps very often any more, and it just breaks my heart to tell her she can't sleep with us. Any suggestions on what has worked? I just joined the group yesterday, so I may have missed earlier discussions.
Candy Oliver
----- Original Message -----
From: Lorraine Goods
To: [email protected]
Sent: Tuesday, January 08, 2002 5:13 PM
Subject: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] Re: [a moment's peace
On Tue, 8 Jan 2002 KingsDaughterThe@... wrote:
> I could really relate when you say you just can't relax. I don't know how
> much feedback you'll get on this one :), but lately my normal routine after
> 'the door is closed', no matter what time of day or night, is taking a
> suspicious quick peek - under the bed and in the closet! Talk about
> 'paranoia'! lol The little critters are EVERYWHERE!!! Though, I can't say
> this has hindered us too, too much... we did manage to have SIX! Haha!
Very cool. I guess bc I have just one child I would feel guilty shutting
my door to him at night. He wouldn't have any one else to bounce off of
and would feel, I'm afraid, left out, y'know? Not having siblings to hang
out w/when mom and dad are otherwise occupied and not letting him in the
bedroom. He has his own bed and room but we have an "open bed" policy and
he often ends up in ours sometime during the course of the night. He's
five.
> Ps- Also I enjoyed what you wrote on the TV thread about your college friends
> - that was a pretty balanced remark... :)
Thanks.
Best,
Lynn
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Leslie
Hi Candy,
No, you don't sound at all like you're looking for a way out! Only the most loving and committed parents would ever find themselves in your situation. I was just moved to tell you how another "perfectly normal" family lives and loves. I hope I provided a little support and comfort for you and your kind and thoughtful choices.
Leslie
No, you don't sound at all like you're looking for a way out! Only the most loving and committed parents would ever find themselves in your situation. I was just moved to tell you how another "perfectly normal" family lives and loves. I hope I provided a little support and comfort for you and your kind and thoughtful choices.
Leslie
----- Original Message -----
From: Candy
To: [email protected]
Sent: Tuesday, January 08, 2002 10:22 PM
Subject: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] Re: [a moment's peace
I think your last statement hit the nail on the head!!! "Just hope your libido doesn't disappear when she does:~)" That is what I am thinking about!! with her growing up what seems like overnight, that is another reason, I myself have a hard time with her being in her own bead. I know the day will all to soon come, when we will be wishing she still wanted to sleep with us. :o) I must have put things completely wrong! I pretty much was looking for what other parents have done that has worked to keep things "going" ;o] And I think the waiting until she goes to sleep in our bed is a good idea! The only down side, is that she can usually outlast my husband and I. But maybe we can outlast her on the weekends! Maybe we can set the alarm clock for sometime in the middle of the night. That's an idea! I think I do need to work on the whole "outside the box" thing.
Candy
----- Original Message -----
From: Leslie
To: [email protected]
Sent: Tuesday, January 08, 2002 7:12 PM
Subject: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] Re: [a moment's peace
Hi Candy,
In my book 4 is almost newborn! We have always had a family bed. I might also add that they all breast fed until they were around 5. My partner and I were together for almost 9 years before we had any kids so sex where ever and when ever wasn't an issue. Our kids are now 18, 12 and 7. The 18 year old slept in our family bed or his bed with dad or little brother or little brothers bed etc...until he was 13 or 14. He never sleeps with any of us anymore :~( and we miss him.
We have a king size with a single on the side for the four of us who are left. Our 12 year old is with us unless he stays out at a friends or has friends sleep over. Our baby, who's 7 already, is still always with us. They all have a bedroom complete with a bed and at times, if someone is sick, can't sleep, or wants to have sex, we play musical beds and sleep where ever we're most comfy.
My oldest was extremely clingy and never slept out, except for at my moms, until he was well into his teens. I admit I was worried and had many well meaning people warning me, when he refused to attend sleep overs or even large parties with friends, and we pushed him at times always with negative results. Anyway, to make a long story short, he just got back from a 2 week road trip to Key Largo with his old girl friend and we spent the time cleaning and decorating his room to keep our loneliness at bay :~).
These years of family living have been the best years of my life and I'm not looking forward to an empty bed and a clean house. Soon I'll be looking for a support group for people who didn't send their kids to their rooms or to school and can't live with the peace and quiet. Or maybe we'll open our doors to some wayward teens or become foster parents or something.
Enjoy your little one and don't be afraid of being too close. These are your years together, make the most of it, it will be over before ya know it!!!! You can have sex anywhere but in bed, so what. Just hope your libido doesn't disappear when she does:~)
Leslie
----- Original Message -----
From: Candy
To: [email protected]
Sent: Tuesday, January 08, 2002 8:58 PM
Subject: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] Re: [a moment's peace
I am so glad I found this group!!! My husband and I agonize over this very thing. Our daughter is 4 and an only child. If she can't sleep with us, she cries, and after listening to sobbing for a while, it seems to really put a damper on the mood. :o) We have tried doing a schedule of one night in our bed, and one night in her's, but I have to admit that I am so used to her sleeping with us, that if she does not wind up in our bed, I can't sleep, I keep checking on her because it is so unusual!! I know it is important not completely neglect your marriage, but I think my daughter's need to sleep with us has actually gotten worse the last 6 months instead of better. I always thought as she got older, her need for independence would increase, and she would enjoy her room. We have even tried completely remodeling her room to make it what she likes. We got her involved in choosing the theme, colors, furniture, ect. we got her a bed that looks like a house, even went out and found a pink TV to match everything! She does love her room, but not enough to sleep in it.We are somewhat at a loss of what to do next! She really does not take naps very often any more, and it just breaks my heart to tell her she can't sleep with us. Any suggestions on what has worked? I just joined the group yesterday, so I may have missed earlier discussions.
Candy Oliver
----- Original Message -----
From: Lorraine Goods
To: [email protected]
Sent: Tuesday, January 08, 2002 5:13 PM
Subject: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] Re: [a moment's peace
On Tue, 8 Jan 2002 KingsDaughterThe@... wrote:
> I could really relate when you say you just can't relax. I don't know how
> much feedback you'll get on this one :), but lately my normal routine after
> 'the door is closed', no matter what time of day or night, is taking a
> suspicious quick peek - under the bed and in the closet! Talk about
> 'paranoia'! lol The little critters are EVERYWHERE!!! Though, I can't say
> this has hindered us too, too much... we did manage to have SIX! Haha!
Very cool. I guess bc I have just one child I would feel guilty shutting
my door to him at night. He wouldn't have any one else to bounce off of
and would feel, I'm afraid, left out, y'know? Not having siblings to hang
out w/when mom and dad are otherwise occupied and not letting him in the
bedroom. He has his own bed and room but we have an "open bed" policy and
he often ends up in ours sometime during the course of the night. He's
five.
> Ps- Also I enjoyed what you wrote on the TV thread about your college friends
> - that was a pretty balanced remark... :)
Thanks.
Best,
Lynn
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Pat Cald...
>In my family the problem isn't getting quiet time. I'm often able, duringLynn, I remember listening to the "Dr. Laura Show" on the radio once where a couple called in with this problem. Dr. Laura said she thought it was healthy for kids to know that their parents made love and that it was not necessary to hide it. She did not say to flaunt it in front of them but in the privacy of their own room it should be fine. I decided that as long as there weren't any loud alarming noises there shouldn't be any big deal.
>the day or early evening, to read a book while my son is otherwise
>engaged. We have an early bedtime for the kid so that my husband and I >can
>have some time alone. I've never been able to make love while my child is
>awake in the house (except when he was a lot younger). Mostly, I guess,
>bc we live in a small apartment. I have a hard time
>relaxing. I realize this is a very personal issue, but how do some of
>y'all deal with that? The husband works in the early am, and is out like >a
>light at around 10:30.
>Best,
>Lynn
Pat
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Leslie Moyer
Candy,
I suspect that your encouragement for her to sleep in her own room (even if
done positively) has had a backlash effect of her needing reassurance. Our
"family bed" transition was more gradual for most of our children. They
went from our bed (king sized, luckily!) to a twin bed pushed up next to
ours to a pallet on the floor and THEN to their own rooms. All was done out
of necessity as another baby arrived and needed the space closest to Mom's
breast. We did "encourage" but still left the decision up to them. My
youngest was actually *eager* to move into her big sister's bed and there
was no gradual transition. She just told us one day she was ready to move
to her sister's bed and that was that. Anyway--I don't know that it would
help with your sex life immediately, but it might make for a smoother
transition if you eased up with the encouragement for her own bed/room and
tried another in-your-room arrangement for a while.
Leslie Moyer / Oklahoma
I suspect that your encouragement for her to sleep in her own room (even if
done positively) has had a backlash effect of her needing reassurance. Our
"family bed" transition was more gradual for most of our children. They
went from our bed (king sized, luckily!) to a twin bed pushed up next to
ours to a pallet on the floor and THEN to their own rooms. All was done out
of necessity as another baby arrived and needed the space closest to Mom's
breast. We did "encourage" but still left the decision up to them. My
youngest was actually *eager* to move into her big sister's bed and there
was no gradual transition. She just told us one day she was ready to move
to her sister's bed and that was that. Anyway--I don't know that it would
help with your sex life immediately, but it might make for a smoother
transition if you eased up with the encouragement for her own bed/room and
tried another in-your-room arrangement for a while.
Leslie Moyer / Oklahoma
Lynda
Didn't someone mention awhile back that they were on a Family Bed or
Attachment Parenting list on Yahoo? If this list doesn't have the answers,
maybe that list would.
Lynda, who knows someone mentioned it on one of the lists she is on <g> Oh
well, blame it on mommy brain %-}
Attachment Parenting list on Yahoo? If this list doesn't have the answers,
maybe that list would.
Lynda, who knows someone mentioned it on one of the lists she is on <g> Oh
well, blame it on mommy brain %-}
----- Original Message -----
From: "Candy" <comfykozy@...>
To: <[email protected]>
Sent: Tuesday, January 08, 2002 7:22 PM
Subject: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] Re: [a moment's peace
> I think your last statement hit the nail on the head!!! "Just hope your
libido doesn't disappear when she does:~)" That is what I am thinking
about!! with her growing up what seems like overnight, that is another
reason, I myself have a hard time with her being in her own bead. I know the
day will all to soon come, when we will be wishing she still wanted to sleep
with us. :o) I must have put things completely wrong! I pretty much was
looking for what other parents have done that has worked to keep things
"going" ;o] And I think the waiting until she goes to sleep in our bed is a
good idea! The only down side, is that she can usually outlast my husband
and I. But maybe we can outlast her on the weekends! Maybe we can set the
alarm clock for sometime in the middle of the night. That's an idea! I think
I do need to work on the whole "outside the box" thing.
> Candy
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: Leslie
> To: [email protected]
> Sent: Tuesday, January 08, 2002 7:12 PM
> Subject: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] Re: [a moment's peace
>
>
> Hi Candy,
>
> In my book 4 is almost newborn! We have always had a family bed. I might
also add that they all breast fed until they were around 5. My partner and
I were together for almost 9 years before we had any kids so sex where ever
and when ever wasn't an issue. Our kids are now 18, 12 and 7. The 18 year
old slept in our family bed or his bed with dad or little brother or little
brothers bed etc...until he was 13 or 14. He never sleeps with any of us
anymore :~( and we miss him.
> We have a king size with a single on the side for the four of us who are
left. Our 12 year old is with us unless he stays out at a friends or has
friends sleep over. Our baby, who's 7 already, is still always with us. They
all have a bedroom complete with a bed and at times, if someone is sick,
can't sleep, or wants to have sex, we play musical beds and sleep where ever
we're most comfy.
>
> My oldest was extremely clingy and never slept out, except for at my
moms, until he was well into his teens. I admit I was worried and had many
well meaning people warning me, when he refused to attend sleep overs or
even large parties with friends, and we pushed him at times always with
negative results. Anyway, to make a long story short, he just got back from
a 2 week road trip to Key Largo with his old girl friend and we spent the
time cleaning and decorating his room to keep our loneliness at bay :~).
>
> These years of family living have been the best years of my life and I'm
not looking forward to an empty bed and a clean house. Soon I'll be looking
for a support group for people who didn't send their kids to their rooms or
to school and can't live with the peace and quiet. Or maybe we'll open our
doors to some wayward teens or become foster parents or something.
>
> Enjoy your little one and don't be afraid of being too close. These are
your years together, make the most of it, it will be over before ya know
it!!!! You can have sex anywhere but in bed, so what. Just hope your libido
doesn't disappear when she does:~)
>
> Leslie
>
>
>
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: Candy
> To: [email protected]
> Sent: Tuesday, January 08, 2002 8:58 PM
> Subject: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] Re: [a moment's peace
>
>
> I am so glad I found this group!!! My husband and I agonize over this
very thing. Our daughter is 4 and an only child. If she can't sleep with
us, she cries, and after listening to sobbing for a while, it seems to
really put a damper on the mood. :o) We have tried doing a schedule of one
night in our bed, and one night in her's, but I have to admit that I am so
used to her sleeping with us, that if she does not wind up in our bed, I
can't sleep, I keep checking on her because it is so unusual!! I know it is
important not completely neglect your marriage, but I think my daughter's
need to sleep with us has actually gotten worse the last 6 months instead of
better. I always thought as she got older, her need for independence would
increase, and she would enjoy her room. We have even tried completely
remodeling her room to make it what she likes. We got her involved in
choosing the theme, colors, furniture, ect. we got her a bed that looks like
a house, even went out and found a pink TV to match everything! She does
love her room, but not enough to sleep in it.We are somewhat at a loss of
what to do next! She really does not take naps very often any more, and it
just breaks my heart to tell her she can't sleep with us. Any suggestions on
what has worked? I just joined the group yesterday, so I may have missed
earlier discussions.
> Candy Oliver
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: Lorraine Goods
> To: [email protected]
> Sent: Tuesday, January 08, 2002 5:13 PM
> Subject: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] Re: [a moment's peace
>
>
> On Tue, 8 Jan 2002 KingsDaughterThe@... wrote:
>
> > I could really relate when you say you just can't relax. I don't
know how
> > much feedback you'll get on this one :), but lately my normal
routine after
> > 'the door is closed', no matter what time of day or night, is
taking a
> > suspicious quick peek - under the bed and in the closet! Talk
about
> > 'paranoia'! lol The little critters are EVERYWHERE!!! Though, I
can't say
> > this has hindered us too, too much... we did manage to have SIX!
Haha!
>
> Very cool. I guess bc I have just one child I would feel guilty
shutting
> my door to him at night. He wouldn't have any one else to bounce off
of
> and would feel, I'm afraid, left out, y'know? Not having siblings to
hang
> out w/when mom and dad are otherwise occupied and not letting him in
the
> bedroom. He has his own bed and room but we have an "open bed"
policy and
> he often ends up in ours sometime during the course of the night.
He's
> five.
>
> > Ps- Also I enjoyed what you wrote on the TV thread about your
college friends
> > - that was a pretty balanced remark... :)
>
> Thanks.
>
> Best,
> Lynn
>
>
> Yahoo! Groups Sponsor
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>
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>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
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> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
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> ADVERTISEMENT
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[email protected]
In a message dated 1/8/2002 7:03:59 PM Eastern Standard Time,
lg96@... writes:
with us and I also had the same problem with our daughter being awake and in
the house. . . I cannot relax when I know someone could "hear" me. :) There
are occasions the 12 year old is not home, but the two year old is always
with us. . . we do realize its for a short time and have adjusted out
attitudes about it but sometimes we still feel frustrated by it.
living in abundance
lovemary
There are no victims in this world. . . only opportunities
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
lg96@... writes:
> time alone. I've never been able to make love while my child isGosh Lynn. . . if you find out let me know. Our son who is 2 still sleeps
> awake in the house (except when he was a lot younger). Mostly, I guess,
> bc we live in a small apartment. I have a hard time
> relaxing. I realize this is a very personal issue, but how do some of
>
with us and I also had the same problem with our daughter being awake and in
the house. . . I cannot relax when I know someone could "hear" me. :) There
are occasions the 12 year old is not home, but the two year old is always
with us. . . we do realize its for a short time and have adjusted out
attitudes about it but sometimes we still feel frustrated by it.
living in abundance
lovemary
There are no victims in this world. . . only opportunities
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
rumpleteasermom
--- In Unschooling-dotcom@y..., "Pat Cald..." <homeschoolmd@y...>
wrote:
thought it was healthy for kids to know that their parents made love
and that it was not necessary to hide it. She did not say to flaunt
it in front of them but in the privacy of their own room it should be
fine. I decided that as long as there weren't any loud alarming
noises there shouldn't be any big deal.
. . . we were once walked in on by our 14 yo. She was carrying a
kitten and didn't bat an eye. She just asked us what she wanted to
know and then casually left the room. I know she knew what we were
doing and it just plain did not have any effect at all.
Bridget
wrote:
>once where a couple called in with this problem. Dr. Laura said she
> Lynn, I remember listening to the "Dr. Laura Show" on the radio
thought it was healthy for kids to know that their parents made love
and that it was not necessary to hide it. She did not say to flaunt
it in front of them but in the privacy of their own room it should be
fine. I decided that as long as there weren't any loud alarming
noises there shouldn't be any big deal.
>As much as I hate to agree with Dr. Laura . . .
> Pat
. . . we were once walked in on by our 14 yo. She was carrying a
kitten and didn't bat an eye. She just asked us what she wanted to
know and then casually left the room. I know she knew what we were
doing and it just plain did not have any effect at all.
Bridget
[email protected]
In a message dated 1/8/02 7:11:36 PM Pacific Standard Time, leslie@...
writes:
<< These years of family living have been the best years of my life and I'm
not looking forward to an empty bed and a clean house. Soon I'll be looking
for a support group for people who didn't send their kids to their rooms or
to school and can't live with the peace and quiet.
Enjoy your little one and don't be afraid of being too close. These are your
years together, make the most of it, it will be over before ya know
it!!!!>>>>>>
Geez, hanky alert! I totally agree, and while my kids are still young I have
already thought about how short of a time it is until my kids are grown and
gone. I like to think they'll stay home beyond 18 but still it won't be
forever!
Our 4 yr old is still in bed with us and the other night when my 8 yr old
couldn't sleep, not from scary dreams or anything I said do you want to
sleep with me and of course she said yes. Our bed has always been open
and at one time we had 5 in a king size bed. My only regret was that
I didn't buy and add on a twin size bed next to the king when our third
was born and the other two didn't have to feel as if they were being
pushed prematurely into their own space.
Kathy
writes:
<< These years of family living have been the best years of my life and I'm
not looking forward to an empty bed and a clean house. Soon I'll be looking
for a support group for people who didn't send their kids to their rooms or
to school and can't live with the peace and quiet.
Enjoy your little one and don't be afraid of being too close. These are your
years together, make the most of it, it will be over before ya know
it!!!!>>>>>>
Geez, hanky alert! I totally agree, and while my kids are still young I have
already thought about how short of a time it is until my kids are grown and
gone. I like to think they'll stay home beyond 18 but still it won't be
forever!
Our 4 yr old is still in bed with us and the other night when my 8 yr old
couldn't sleep, not from scary dreams or anything I said do you want to
sleep with me and of course she said yes. Our bed has always been open
and at one time we had 5 in a king size bed. My only regret was that
I didn't buy and add on a twin size bed next to the king when our third
was born and the other two didn't have to feel as if they were being
pushed prematurely into their own space.
Kathy
Tia Leschke
>Amazing! Dr. Laura actually said something I can agree with.
>Lynn, I remember listening to the "Dr. Laura Show" on the radio once where
>a couple called in with this problem. Dr. Laura said she thought it was
>healthy for kids to know that their parents made love and that it was not
>necessary to hide it. She did not say to flaunt it in front of them but
>in the privacy of their own room it should be fine. I decided that as
>long as there weren't any loud alarming noises there shouldn't be any big deal.
Tia
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
Eleanor Roosevelt
*********************************************
Tia Leschke
leschke@...
On Vancouver Island
Groundhoggirl
On Wednesday, January 9, 2002, at 12:19 PM, Natrlmama@... wrote:
every night, in a queen bed in their room. Things are getting really
cramped with me, 2 boys, 1 cat and 3 T-Rex's, so once in a while, if I
feel I need a really good night's sleep, I insist on sleeping alone in
the room next door. They always complain when I do this and Leroy
sometimes still cries. I dread the day when they will be indifferent to
my presence or ask me to leave their bed. I get lots of huggie!!!
Mimi
> In a message dated 1/8/02 7:11:36 PM Pacific Standard Time,Leroy and Paul will be 8 tomorrow and well still sleep together, almost
> leslie@...
> writes:
>
> << These years of family living have been the best years of my life and
> I'm
> not looking forward to an empty bed and a clean house. Soon I'll be
> looking
> for a support group for people who didn't send their kids to their
> rooms or
> to school and can't live with the peace and quiet.
> Enjoy your little one and don't be afraid of being too close. These
> are your
> years together, make the most of it, it will be over before ya know
> it!!!!>>>>>>
>
> =================
> Our 4 yr old is still in bed with us and the other night when my 8 yr
> old
> couldn't sleep, not from scary dreams or anything I said do you want to
> sleep with me and of course she said yes. Our bed has always been open
> and at one time we had 5 in a king size bed. My only regret was that
> I didn't buy and add on a twin size bed next to the king when our third
> was born and the other two didn't have to feel as if they were being
> pushed prematurely into their own space.
>
> Kathy
> ===============
every night, in a queen bed in their room. Things are getting really
cramped with me, 2 boys, 1 cat and 3 T-Rex's, so once in a while, if I
feel I need a really good night's sleep, I insist on sleeping alone in
the room next door. They always complain when I do this and Leroy
sometimes still cries. I dread the day when they will be indifferent to
my presence or ask me to leave their bed. I get lots of huggie!!!
Mimi
>[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
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>
Candy
After everyone's comments yesterday, I tried the "outside the box" thinking. I would not give up having my daughter sleep with us for anything, that was not my point at all. It was not even really about just sex. I am just trying to keep balance. I would not want to neglect either relationship. Maybe it is of more issue to me than it used to be because my parents were married 30+ years, and are now in the middle of a divorce. I guess what I was wanting was more just some time to talk, if it were purely a sex thing, we could figure that out. Although you all did have some good ideas! :oP At the same time, I don't want Courtney to feel like we are excluding her in any way. I can't sleep when she isn't with us in bed. My point was more trying to make some time just to talk and cuddle a little.
Anyways, I tried something new last night!! We all got ready for bed, and then we let Courtney pick out one of her Veggie Tales movies (about a half hour) and put that on for her to watch. My husband and I went to our room and just talked about what happened that day, what we needed to do the next day, ect. It was also nice just to have a few minutes to catch up and have some quiet time. When her movie was over, she turned off her TV, and packed up her blankie, and teddy bear and came into bed with us.
I would have to say that is just what I was looking for! Justin and I both focus so much on Courtney, that is was nice to just talk for a few minutes about us! Thanks for some of your ideas,
Candy
Anyways, I tried something new last night!! We all got ready for bed, and then we let Courtney pick out one of her Veggie Tales movies (about a half hour) and put that on for her to watch. My husband and I went to our room and just talked about what happened that day, what we needed to do the next day, ect. It was also nice just to have a few minutes to catch up and have some quiet time. When her movie was over, she turned off her TV, and packed up her blankie, and teddy bear and came into bed with us.
I would have to say that is just what I was looking for! Justin and I both focus so much on Courtney, that is was nice to just talk for a few minutes about us! Thanks for some of your ideas,
Candy
----- Original Message -----
From: Groundhoggirl
To: [email protected]
Sent: Wednesday, January 09, 2002 10:44 AM
Subject: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] Re: [a moment's peace
On Wednesday, January 9, 2002, at 12:19 PM, Natrlmama@... wrote:
> In a message dated 1/8/02 7:11:36 PM Pacific Standard Time,
> leslie@...
> writes:
>
> << These years of family living have been the best years of my life and
> I'm
> not looking forward to an empty bed and a clean house. Soon I'll be
> looking
> for a support group for people who didn't send their kids to their
> rooms or
> to school and can't live with the peace and quiet.
> Enjoy your little one and don't be afraid of being too close. These
> are your
> years together, make the most of it, it will be over before ya know
> it!!!!>>>>>>
>
> =================
> Our 4 yr old is still in bed with us and the other night when my 8 yr
> old
> couldn't sleep, not from scary dreams or anything I said do you want to
> sleep with me and of course she said yes. Our bed has always been open
> and at one time we had 5 in a king size bed. My only regret was that
> I didn't buy and add on a twin size bed next to the king when our third
> was born and the other two didn't have to feel as if they were being
> pushed prematurely into their own space.
>
> Kathy
> ===============
Leroy and Paul will be 8 tomorrow and well still sleep together, almost
every night, in a queen bed in their room. Things are getting really
cramped with me, 2 boys, 1 cat and 3 T-Rex's, so once in a while, if I
feel I need a really good night's sleep, I insist on sleeping alone in
the room next door. They always complain when I do this and Leroy
sometimes still cries. I dread the day when they will be indifferent to
my presence or ask me to leave their bed. I get lots of huggie!!!
Mimi
>
> Message boards, timely articles, a free newsletter and more!
> Check it all out at: http://www.unschooling.com
>
> To unsubscribe, set preferences, or read archives:
> http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Unschooling-dotcom
>
> Another great list sponsored by Home Education Magazine!
> http://www.home-ed-magazine.com
>
>
>
> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to
> http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/
>
>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
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ADVERTISEMENT
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Pat Cald...
>Bridget wrote:I guess this could get me flamed but I have been a Dr. Laura fan for years. It is hard for me to dislike someone who is such a strong child advocate. She is very conservative and does advocate strict rules which I am beginning to see can lead to problems. But I still think she has a lot of good insight into many things.
>As much as I hate to agree with Dr. Laura . . .
Pat
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Lorraine Goods
>>We are somewhat at a loss of what to do next! She really does nottake naps very often any more, and it just breaks my heart to tell her she
can't sleep with us. Any suggestions on what has worked? I just joined the
group yesterday, so I may have missed earlier discussions.<<
I think it's extremely important for the parents, if they require it, to
have private time w/out the kids. I know every marriage is different, but
it's no good to sacrifice the relationship w/each other for the sake of
always meeting the "needs" of the kids. Parents need
to keep that bond strong so that they can be there for the kids in the
long run. I know too many people who have split up under the strains of
taking care of the kids only and not each other. (of course, I also live
in NYC which is probably divorce central so my sample population is
probably skewed!).
Our son slept w/us exclusively until he was almost five. Then he started
to snore something awful, and my insomnia got really bad for a few weeks
on top of it, and I had to think of something that would satisfy my need
for sleep and his need for security. We got him a bunk bed and made a big
deal about how special it was. It became a play area as well as a fun
place to sleep, bc we draped a blanket over it and he started calling it
his "clubhouse." It was a smooth transition, mostly bc he
knew he could always get in bed w/us whenever he wanted to, if he awoke in
the middle of the night. Sometimes, when I tuck him in, he asks me if I
will bring him in later. I always say yes, and then hang out w/my husband
for a couple of hours. Round about midnight, when I'm ready to turn in, I
go get him and we all get into bed together. It's worked prety well for
us, and most nights he's happy to sleep alone, mostly bc he knows he can
always come in if he wants company. The thing that's really helped is
letting him listen to books on tape or music while he drops off to sleep.
He's listened to everything from Miles Davis, Micheal Jackson, Barney
music, Roald Dahl novels, Arthur chapter books, etc.
Best,
Lynn
***********************
I threw my cup away
when I saw a child
drinking from his
hands at the trough
-- Diogenes
***********************
Lorraine Goods
>>She did not say to flaunt it in front of them but in the privacy oftheir own room it should be fine. I decided that as long as there weren't
any loud alarming noises there shouldn't be any big deal.<<
Oh, gosh, I agree w/this in theory but I'm afraid I'm way too repressed.
Does anyone remember the scene from Dancing with Wolves, when the Sioux
couple make love in the middle of the night in the communal sleeping area?
My husband and I are very affectionate w/each other in front of the kid
but I'm afraid my passion in private peters out at the thought of our son
hearing us. Oh well. All in all, it' s a happy problem.
Best,
Lynn
***********************
I threw my cup away
when I saw a child
drinking from his
hands at the trough
-- Diogenes
***********************
rumpleteasermom
How does Dr. Laura irritate me?
Let me count the ways . . .
1. Her belief that gays are inferior and should be cured.
August 9, 1999 radio show
http://www.horizonsfoundation.org/drlaura.htm
2. Her refusal to acknowledge legally recognized religious groups
outside of the Judeo-Christian faith.
http://www.magickalcauldron.com/laura.html
3. Her doctorate is NOT in Psychology yet she allows that impression
to linger.
See link in #1
4. Hypocrisy:
{Ironically, in the Sept. 2000 edition of her Dr. Laura
Perspective magazine, Laura endorses the same strategies GLAAD
employed. In the second part of her "Kids & Sex" article, Laura
says: "Write to the source of any offensive content and tell them of
your concerns. Write that not only will you stop watching the program
or reading the publication because of the stories or advertisements,
but you will also go out of your way not to purchase the sponsors'
products and will encourage others to avoid them as well" [p. 7].
This is exactly the kind of campaign GLAAD orchestrated. But when
GLAAD contacts advertisers, it's intimidation and threats. When Laura
does it, it's "improving your village."}
http://www.glaad.org/org/publications/documents/index.html?record=2742
5. Her idea that the ALA (that's the American Library Association)
is evil and that Go Ask Alice, a web site they promote and whichis
hosted by Columbia University, promotes immorality.
http://www.goaskalice.columbia.edu/index.html
http://www.salon.com/tech/feature/1999/05/27/dr_laura/index.html
6. She is anti-Planned Parenthood
http://www.drlaura.com/letters/index.html?mode=view&tile=1&id=1837
7. I'm tired of looking at this now! I get the feeling she is anti-
feminist but haven't found a specific link for that. I also think
her hypocrisy runs deep in more ways than I have above.
You may consider her a child advocate but her comments about the "Go
Ask Alice" sight show that she is somewhat less than informed IMHO.
Bridget
--- In Unschooling-dotcom@y..., "Pat Cald..." <homeschoolmd@y...>
wrote:
child advocate. She is very conservative and does advocate strict
rules which I am beginning to see can lead to problems. But I still
think she has a lot of good insight into many things.
Let me count the ways . . .
1. Her belief that gays are inferior and should be cured.
August 9, 1999 radio show
http://www.horizonsfoundation.org/drlaura.htm
2. Her refusal to acknowledge legally recognized religious groups
outside of the Judeo-Christian faith.
http://www.magickalcauldron.com/laura.html
3. Her doctorate is NOT in Psychology yet she allows that impression
to linger.
See link in #1
4. Hypocrisy:
{Ironically, in the Sept. 2000 edition of her Dr. Laura
Perspective magazine, Laura endorses the same strategies GLAAD
employed. In the second part of her "Kids & Sex" article, Laura
says: "Write to the source of any offensive content and tell them of
your concerns. Write that not only will you stop watching the program
or reading the publication because of the stories or advertisements,
but you will also go out of your way not to purchase the sponsors'
products and will encourage others to avoid them as well" [p. 7].
This is exactly the kind of campaign GLAAD orchestrated. But when
GLAAD contacts advertisers, it's intimidation and threats. When Laura
does it, it's "improving your village."}
http://www.glaad.org/org/publications/documents/index.html?record=2742
5. Her idea that the ALA (that's the American Library Association)
is evil and that Go Ask Alice, a web site they promote and whichis
hosted by Columbia University, promotes immorality.
http://www.goaskalice.columbia.edu/index.html
http://www.salon.com/tech/feature/1999/05/27/dr_laura/index.html
6. She is anti-Planned Parenthood
http://www.drlaura.com/letters/index.html?mode=view&tile=1&id=1837
7. I'm tired of looking at this now! I get the feeling she is anti-
feminist but haven't found a specific link for that. I also think
her hypocrisy runs deep in more ways than I have above.
You may consider her a child advocate but her comments about the "Go
Ask Alice" sight show that she is somewhat less than informed IMHO.
Bridget
--- In Unschooling-dotcom@y..., "Pat Cald..." <homeschoolmd@y...>
wrote:
> I guess this could get me flamed but I have been a Dr. Laura fanfor years. It is hard for me to dislike someone who is such a strong
child advocate. She is very conservative and does advocate strict
rules which I am beginning to see can lead to problems. But I still
think she has a lot of good insight into many things.
>
> Pat
>