Joseph Fuerst

>>> Maybe one day *we'll* stroll in the grocery store together and have
a good time even there!
~xx~ ~xx~ ~xx~
Sarah Carothers
puddles@...

Oh Sarah, I hope so for you and your dd! Maybe it's our Purpose (with a
capitol 'p') to do this so healing occurs for you and dd. I have vague
memories of reading about how our attitude toward our parents shpes our
children's attitude's toward us as we grow older. Implication was that if
we dis-connect and dis-respect from our parents, our children may do this
to us. Like I said, my memory on this is vague. I know it was enough to
make me really think and consider the how to talk about my kids
relationships with grandparents.
Susan

Tia Leschke

>
>
>Oh Sarah, I hope so for you and your dd! Maybe it's our Purpose (with a
>capitol 'p') to do this so healing occurs for you and dd. I have vague
>memories of reading about how our attitude toward our parents shpes our
>children's attitude's toward us as we grow older. Implication was that if
>we dis-connect and dis-respect from our parents, our children may do this
>to us. Like I said, my memory on this is vague. I know it was enough to
>make me really think and consider the how to talk about my kids
>relationships with grandparents.

I don't think this is necessarily so. I think that if you explain to the
kids why you're disconnecting, they're going to understand, at least
eventually. And I don't think you have to be disrespectful when
disconnecting. Forceful yes, but not disrespectful. Of course the kind of
parent who needs to be disconnected from is going to *call* it
disrespectful, but it's really just setting boundaries and making sure that
they are respected.
Tia

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
Eleanor Roosevelt
*********************************************
Tia Leschke
leschke@...
On Vancouver Island

Mimi Moorehead

On Saturday, December 29, 2001, at 12:20 AM, Tia Leschke wrote:

>
>>
>>
>> Oh Sarah, I hope so for you and your dd! Maybe it's our Purpose
>> (with a
>> capitol 'p') to do this so healing occurs for you and dd. I have vague
>> memories of reading about how our attitude toward our parents shpes our
>> children's attitude's toward us as we grow older. Implication was
>> that if
>> we dis-connect and dis-respect from our parents, our children may do
>> this
>> to us. Like I said, my memory on this is vague. I know it was
>> enough to
>> make me really think and consider the how to talk about my kids
>> relationships with grandparents.
>
> I don't think this is necessarily so. I think that if you explain to
> the
> kids why you're disconnecting, they're going to understand, at least
> eventually. And I don't think you have to be disrespectful when
> disconnecting. Forceful yes, but not disrespectful. Of course the
> kind of
> parent who needs to be disconnected from is going to *call* it
> disrespectful, but it's really just setting boundaries and making sure
> that
> they are respected.
> Tia
>
Yes Tia. With me it's about setting boundaries and protecting myself,
and my feelings.

What I do is, I never make negative comments about my mother in front of
my children. I'm pretty much letting them find out for themselves. I
let them visit her whenever they want to which is becoming less and less
frequent. That's their choice. There are lots of cool and interesting
things about my mother I can talk to them about and that's what I
concentrate on. I never bring up the bad stuff. It would be a bad
example to do so.

Mimi



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