Sarah Carothers

Nicki,
In a nutshell, I don't :( . For several years, I remained distant
even though we're in the same town. Then, she had to undergo major
heart surgery and being the only sibling left in town, I jumped to
her 'rescue'. She was much nicer and basically still is but I still
maintain a safe distance.
I was walking in the grocery store this afternoon and noticed a
mother/daughter couple nearby. They were chatting and smiling and
clearly enjoying each others' company. I was green with envy but I
also wanted to go up to them and tell them how lucky they are! It's
just not meant to be for me (and you? :( ) but one thing is sure...
I'm going to do all I can to not repeat the same mistakes with my own
girls.

~xx~ ~xx~ ~xx~
Sarah Carothers
puddles@...


On Thu, 27 Dec 2001 12:44:04 EST, RValvo7626@... wrote:
>How do you deal w/ it?
>
> NICKI~




[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Mimi Moorehead

Hi Sarah and Nicki,

Just want to let you know I also have a very strained relationship with
my mother. She only lives 15 minutes away, but I probably see her less
than 10 times per year. My husband tried to bring us closer together
for years, but finally gave up. Her abrasiveness and rudeness finally
got to him and now he refuses to invite her over for dinner anymore.
She is very unpredictable and you never know what to expect when you see
her. Sometimes she's sweet and pleasant and other times she's very rude
and insulting.

My boys used to spend a couple of days a month with her when they were
younger. They'll be 8 soon. They now make it clear they don't want to
spend so much time with her anymore. About 2 years ago she threw a
glass of water in Leroy's face because he was crying. I had never seen
him so upset before, and it brought back memories of how angry, unhappy
and upset I used to be when I was her child. I decided then that my
boys didn't need to be around her and we rarely see her now.

I know I am a better mother than she was and I do everything I can to
make sure my relationships with my boys will remain loving ones forever.

I feel sorry for her because she's all alone and I'm the only child in
town. My brother is in NYC and my sister is in Ohio. Everyone,
including my 2 uncles (her brothers) are angry at me because I don't
spend more time with her. But, I have decided, that my boys are more
important to me than she is. She had her chance with me years ago. I'm
much too busy with my boys to worry about her.

Mimi

On Thursday, December 27, 2001, at 05:45 PM, Sarah Carothers wrote:

> Nicki,
> In a nutshell, I don't :( . For several years, I remained distant
> even though we're in the same town. Then, she had to undergo major
> heart surgery and being the only sibling left in town, I jumped to
> her 'rescue'. She was much nicer and basically still is but I still
> maintain a safe distance.
> I was walking in the grocery store this afternoon and noticed a
> mother/daughter couple nearby. They were chatting and smiling and
> clearly enjoying each others' company. I was green with envy but I
> also wanted to go up to them and tell them how lucky they are! It's
> just not meant to be for me (and you? :( ) but one thing is sure...
> I'm going to do all I can to not repeat the same mistakes with my own
> girls.
>
> ~xx~ ~xx~ ~xx~
> Sarah Carothers
> puddles@...
>
>
> On Thu, 27 Dec 2001 12:44:04 EST, RValvo7626@... wrote:
>> How do you deal w/ it?
>>
>> NICKI~
>
>
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
>
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Mimi
Mama of Leroy & Paul, born 01/10/94


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Sarah Carothers

Thanks for your response, Mimi. I've always felt guilty for thinking
I'm a better mother than my own mother and in fact, when I first read
your statement to that effect the other day, it bugged me that you
said that. But then, when I re-read it again in this post (below) I
thought, ya know... she's exactly right! I've been trying to believe
that she (MY mom) did the best she could for us under her
circumstances. But ya know what? She *didn't* do the best she
could.... she took a part time job to get *away* from all of us
(there were five) because she never got any help from my dDad. We
were left to raise ourselves. Your mom threw water on your son. My
mom poured a glass of milk over my brother's head while he was
strapped in his high chair (this was ages ago... WHY do I so vividly
remember it!).
(pause)

Damn... and although I haven't poured milk on anybody or thrown water
in the girls' faces, I have done my fair share of poor-parenting. I'm
outta here for tonight... gotta go mend some fences and work on my
parenting skills.
(*still* searching for the parenting manual that was supposed to be
given out at childbirth)
Sarah
~xx~ ~xx~ ~xx~
Sarah Carothers
puddles@...


On Thu, 27 Dec 2001 18:45:33 -0600, Mimi Moorehead wrote:
> Hi Sarah and Nicki,
>
>Just want to let you know I also have a very strained relationship
>with
>my mother. She only lives 15 minutes away, but I probably see her
>less
>than 10 times per year.


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]