[email protected]

In a message dated 12/27/01 2:32:39 PM Mountain Standard Time,
[email protected] writes:


> Nicki, it wasn't confidence in you. Its confidence in herself.
>
>

Well, I am trying to think about her. She comes off very confident. She
is so damn sure about all her ideas and beliefs she squashes others. Yet she
constantly feels she doesn't deserve what she has. Really it isn't much
either. She still works her ass off to keep her horses and barely makes ends
meet. She is a fantastic artist but makes her living hanging wallpaper and it
is physically taking its toll. She isn't confident in her artistic abilities
to make money. I know she could.

It seems so complicated, she is so adamant about issues and such that
she'll argue to the death. Yet your right she isn't confident in her own
ability. She is confident to say No to someone and I am not. So do you see
where the confusion is?

I am thinking a lot about this lately.

NICKI~


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

In a message dated 12/27/01 2:32:39 PM Mountain Standard Time,
[email protected] writes:


> If she would agree with me about the pesticides, then her choices as a
> mother would be up for question in her own mind. Its far easier to refute
> the idea, than to forgive yourself for something you *thought* was right.
>
>

When I was in school I was miserable from 3rd grade on. I had a choice to
go to private school but I would have had to sell my pony. I chose my pony.
Then in HS I tried to quit but my Mom said no. I also tried in my Sr. year
but I would have had to be 18 to take my GED and that was the condition then.
I turned 18 the summer after grad.. Hmmmm wonder if she wonders if I would
have been better off outta there? I did end up going to college when I was 21
and had a great GPA and transferred to a large *big college. But I quit w/ 14
credits to go. I was burned out and I suddenly realized I wasn't as sure of
my end result as I wanted to be for spending that much money. She still gets
on me about going to that college and what a waste it was of money. I say it
wasn't b/c I learned a whole new way. College was great compared to High
School. Why no one ever told me that blows my mind. They are so ingrained in
the system that if your not following right along why think this child might
actually do better in a college setting. I told them over and over it was
like being in jail. The counselors gave up and I barely got out of
there.Stupid!

My mother had an art scholarship but got pregnant so she never went to
college. She never once encouraged college for me. Not that I think it is the
way to go but I was so pleasantly surprised at how different it was.

NICKI~


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Tia Leschke

>
> My mother had an art scholarship but got pregnant so she never went to
>college. She never once encouraged college for me. Not that I think it is the
>way to go but I was so pleasantly surprised at how different it was.

I quit high school in order to unschool long before there was a name for
it. (I had read Summerhill when I was 14, and that pretty well ruined
school for me.....the little that wasn't already ruined.) After a couple
of years I went to college. I also noticed a *huge* difference. Students
were treated like adults, capable of making their own decisions about what
to wear and whether to skip a class. Also, the students were mostly there
because they wanted to be, unlike high school.
Tia

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
Eleanor Roosevelt
*********************************************
Tia Leschke
leschke@...
On Vancouver Island