Sarah Carothers

> >> > >> > The Washington Post publishes a yearly contest in which
readers
> >> are
> >> > >> > asked to supply alternate meanings for various words.
> >> > >> > ----------------------------------------------
> >> > >> > The following were some of this year's winning entries:
> >> > >> > 1. Coffee (n.), a person who is coughed upon.
> >> > >> > ------ -------------------------------------
> >> > >> > 2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how
> >> > >> > much weight you have
> >> > >> > gained.
> >> > >> > ----------------------------------------------
> >> > >> > 3. Abdicate (v.), to give up
> >> > >> > all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
> >> > >> > ----------------------------------------------
> >> > >> > 4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an
> >> > >> > explanation while drunk.
> >> > >> > ----------------------------------------------
> >> > >> > 5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent
> >> > >> > ----------------------------------------------
> >> > >> > 6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition
> >> > >> > in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your
nightie.
> >> > >> > ----------------------------------------------
> >> > >> > 7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.
> >> > >> > ----------------------------------------------
> >> > >> > 8. Gargoyle (n.), an olive-flavored
> >> > >> > mouthwash.
> >> > >> > ----------------------------------------------
> >> > >> > 9. Flatulence (n.) the emergency vehicle
> >> > >> > that picks you up after you are run over by a
steamroller.
> >> > >> > ----------------------------------------------
> >> > >> > 10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding
> >> > >> > hairline.
> >> > >> > ----------------------------------------------
> >> > >> > 11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on
> >> > >> > an exam.
> >> > >> > ----------------------------------------------
> >> > >> > 12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified
> >> > >> > demeanor assumed by a proctologist immediately before he
> >> > >> > examines you.
> >> > >> > ----------------------------------------------
> >> > >> > 13. Oyster (n.), a person who
> >> > >> > sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish expressions.
> >> > >> > ----------------------------------------------
> >> > >> > 14. Circumvent (n.), the opening in
> >> > >> > the front of boxer shorts.
> >> > >> > ----------------------------------------------
> >> > >> > 15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), The belief
> >> > >> > that, when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and
gets
stuck
> >>
> >> > >> > there.
> >> > >> > ----------------------------------------------
> >> > >> > 16. Pokemon (n), A Jamaican proctologist.
~xx~ ~xx~ ~xx~
Sarah Carothers
puddles@...



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