New to this. Help!!
dawnasoo
I do not want my son to go back to public school!! We are starting
this really late, age 13, but I see no alternative. He is not only
not excelling in school, but is constantly in trouble. When I try to
assess the situation and the reason for his actions I am met with
resistance and everyone is only conerned about the rules. Never mind
the reason for the behavior. My best friend is imploring me to not
send him back and she knows him almost as well as myself. He is an
auditory learner, but this is not respected in public schools. His
reading and writing is not the best, but not the worst either. We are
just beginning and would like any information, websites, etc. that
would be helpful. I work fulltime and am a single parent of 2. His
older sister does very well in public school, is a cheerleader, etc.
They are completely different. HELP!!
this really late, age 13, but I see no alternative. He is not only
not excelling in school, but is constantly in trouble. When I try to
assess the situation and the reason for his actions I am met with
resistance and everyone is only conerned about the rules. Never mind
the reason for the behavior. My best friend is imploring me to not
send him back and she knows him almost as well as myself. He is an
auditory learner, but this is not respected in public schools. His
reading and writing is not the best, but not the worst either. We are
just beginning and would like any information, websites, etc. that
would be helpful. I work fulltime and am a single parent of 2. His
older sister does very well in public school, is a cheerleader, etc.
They are completely different. HELP!!
groundhoggirl
I may be the first person to answer your query but I know I'm not the
best since I just have 7 year old boys I am unschooling. I am a former
public high school teacher, however. I'll tell you what I think.
I understand that what you are going to have to go through will require
a lot of patience on your part. There will be a long period of time
where he will appear to be doing nothing at all except maybe watching TV
for hours on end. Or, maybe he will choose to read or play computer
games instead. Who knows what he will choose? Well, maybe you do,
since you're his mother. He will have to go through a process, or
period of time, call "deschooling". This means that you basically just
allow him to do what he wishes. This may last a couple of years, or
more. The theory, however, is that he will find his own way and choose
to learn what is important to him. And, what he chooses to learn, he
will learn VERY WELL.
As a former public school teacher, I highly recommend you do not put him
back in school, especially if he is an auditory learner. I am assuming,
of course, that he doesn't want to go back either.
I have found that institutionalized education is very harmful to
children of any age. It does not respect the individual and produces
very passive students.
I would like to add, however, that, certainly, if a child wishes to go
to school s/he should be allowed to do so and come to their own decision
whether it is for them or not. I definitely feel this way with regard
to older children.
I hope I have helped a little bit. I'm sure someone else, with more
experience, will be more helpful.
Mimi
best since I just have 7 year old boys I am unschooling. I am a former
public high school teacher, however. I'll tell you what I think.
I understand that what you are going to have to go through will require
a lot of patience on your part. There will be a long period of time
where he will appear to be doing nothing at all except maybe watching TV
for hours on end. Or, maybe he will choose to read or play computer
games instead. Who knows what he will choose? Well, maybe you do,
since you're his mother. He will have to go through a process, or
period of time, call "deschooling". This means that you basically just
allow him to do what he wishes. This may last a couple of years, or
more. The theory, however, is that he will find his own way and choose
to learn what is important to him. And, what he chooses to learn, he
will learn VERY WELL.
As a former public school teacher, I highly recommend you do not put him
back in school, especially if he is an auditory learner. I am assuming,
of course, that he doesn't want to go back either.
I have found that institutionalized education is very harmful to
children of any age. It does not respect the individual and produces
very passive students.
I would like to add, however, that, certainly, if a child wishes to go
to school s/he should be allowed to do so and come to their own decision
whether it is for them or not. I definitely feel this way with regard
to older children.
I hope I have helped a little bit. I'm sure someone else, with more
experience, will be more helpful.
Mimi
On Friday, December 7, 2001, at 08:07 PM, dawnasoo wrote:
> I do not want my son to go back to public school!! We are starting
> this really late, age 13, but I see no alternative. He is not only
> not excelling in school, but is constantly in trouble. When I try to
> assess the situation and the reason for his actions I am met with
> resistance and everyone is only conerned about the rules. Never mind
> the reason for the behavior. My best friend is imploring me to not
> send him back and she knows him almost as well as myself. He is an
> auditory learner, but this is not respected in public schools. His
> reading and writing is not the best, but not the worst either. We are
> just beginning and would like any information, websites, etc. that
> would be helpful. I work fulltime and am a single parent of 2. His
> older sister does very well in public school, is a cheerleader, etc.
> They are completely different. HELP!!
>
>
>
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[email protected]
thanks so much for your reply. my son is indeed leaning towards going back to
school for the sake of his friends. we have only talked briefly and plan to
talk more. if he is adamant then i will let him go back of course. we will
see. your reply helped alot. thanks.
Dawna
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
school for the sake of his friends. we have only talked briefly and plan to
talk more. if he is adamant then i will let him go back of course. we will
see. your reply helped alot. thanks.
Dawna
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
groundhoggirl
You're very welcome. But please stay on this list so you can see how
some of the other members respond. It's always best to listen to as
many points of view as possible and gather information from as many
people as possible.
Mimi
some of the other members respond. It's always best to listen to as
many points of view as possible and gather information from as many
people as possible.
Mimi
On Friday, December 7, 2001, at 09:14 PM, dawnasoo@... wrote:
> thanks so much for your reply. my son is indeed leaning towards going
> back to
> school for the sake of his friends. we have only talked briefly and
> plan to
> talk more. if he is adamant then i will let him go back of course. we
> will
> see. your reply helped alot. thanks.
>
> Dawna
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
>
> Message boards, timely articles, a free newsletter and more!
> Check it all out at: http://www.unschooling.com
>
> To unsubscribe, set preferences, or read archives:
> http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Unschooling-dotcom
>
> Another great list sponsored by Home Education Magazine!
> http://www.home-ed-magazine.com
>
>
>
> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to
> http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/
>
>
Sarah Carothers
Dawna,
Sorry.. I missed the age of your son but I have $.02 to throw in the mix. I'd let him read The Teenage Liberation Handbook if he *thinks* he wants to return to school. Going to school to be with your friends is kinda lame imo because you don't really get to *do* much with them and there's very little interaction. It would be great if your ds could develop a friendship with someone outside of the system, like a mentor, but until he discovers what his interests are, this would be a little hard to do.
Can you get him involved in volunteering so that he has some social interaction outside the home? Maybe if you replace that 'loss', he'd prefer to unschool afterall.
Sarah
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Sorry.. I missed the age of your son but I have $.02 to throw in the mix. I'd let him read The Teenage Liberation Handbook if he *thinks* he wants to return to school. Going to school to be with your friends is kinda lame imo because you don't really get to *do* much with them and there's very little interaction. It would be great if your ds could develop a friendship with someone outside of the system, like a mentor, but until he discovers what his interests are, this would be a little hard to do.
Can you get him involved in volunteering so that he has some social interaction outside the home? Maybe if you replace that 'loss', he'd prefer to unschool afterall.
Sarah
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
kaydeecross
--- In Unschooling-dotcom@y..., "dawnasoo" <dawnasoo@a...> wrote:
is any kind of alternative school in your area.
When I lived in California, I chose a Sudbury school (being a single
mother myself, I couldn't be home). It was great. He got the
unschooling that children need AND he got the conversation and
interaction of age ranges that kids also need to learn from life.
In addition to Sudbury, there are MANY wonderful democratic unschools
across the US and in many other countrys.
It would be worth it for you to check it out. As least you will have
another option for your son to choose what is best for him.
Good Luck,
Kolleen
> I do not want my son to go back to public school!! We are startingDawn, I don't know where you live, but you may want to see if there
> this really late, age 13, but I see no alternative [snip]
is any kind of alternative school in your area.
When I lived in California, I chose a Sudbury school (being a single
mother myself, I couldn't be home). It was great. He got the
unschooling that children need AND he got the conversation and
interaction of age ranges that kids also need to learn from life.
In addition to Sudbury, there are MANY wonderful democratic unschools
across the US and in many other countrys.
It would be worth it for you to check it out. As least you will have
another option for your son to choose what is best for him.
Good Luck,
Kolleen