Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] homeschooling mystery
[email protected]
But it has always been a mystery to me how so many homeschooling families
seem to have these complacent kids that *do their schoolwork* like their
mommy tells them to.
Karin
****It's a mystery to me also!
Elissa
seem to have these complacent kids that *do their schoolwork* like their
mommy tells them to.
Karin
****It's a mystery to me also!
Elissa
Karin Curtin
I have often wondered just how your average homeschooling family (adcademically orientated) manages to *get* their kids to do the work they are supposed to. How do they push their kids to do the work and the kids do it? Are the kids then damaged emotionally, as would be suggested here?
We started homeschooling right from the start, about 5 years ago. My kids have ALWAYS balked and complained about doing ANYTHING that I wanted them to do. It was a constant struggle complete with yelling, crying, nagging, complaining, etc.
I probably did some damage myself with my homeschoolish notions. (Imagine ME, trying to be a teacher! Ha!)
Well, that's why I'm so grateful to have finally found unschooling. All of the bad stuff about homeschooling is gone now.
Our house is much more peaceful and less stressful. And I'm being patient with my kids and them learning things at their own pace, or at all.
But it has always been a mystery to me how so many homeschooling families seem to have these complacent kids that *do their schoolwork* like their mommy tells them to.
Karin
We started homeschooling right from the start, about 5 years ago. My kids have ALWAYS balked and complained about doing ANYTHING that I wanted them to do. It was a constant struggle complete with yelling, crying, nagging, complaining, etc.
I probably did some damage myself with my homeschoolish notions. (Imagine ME, trying to be a teacher! Ha!)
Well, that's why I'm so grateful to have finally found unschooling. All of the bad stuff about homeschooling is gone now.
Our house is much more peaceful and less stressful. And I'm being patient with my kids and them learning things at their own pace, or at all.
But it has always been a mystery to me how so many homeschooling families seem to have these complacent kids that *do their schoolwork* like their mommy tells them to.
Karin
----- Original Message -----
From: Tia Leschke
To: [email protected]
Sent: Wednesday, November 28, 2001 1:04 PM
Subject: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] Re: spelling
I have a son much like this, and I *did* push him a little to learn. Big
mistake. It backfired. But he didn't want to learn then. Because he
didn't want to, it was hard for him, and then he decided he couldn't. I
had to back off and let him do it his own way and in his own time. He
still doesn't read well at 14, but he definitely doesn't want any
help. (Both family and out of family help have been offered.)
Tia
Yahoo! Groups Sponsor
ADVERTISEMENT
Message boards, timely articles, a free newsletter and more!
Check it all out at: http://www.unschooling.com
To unsubscribe, set preferences, or read archives:
http://www.egroups.com/group/Unschooling-dotcom
Another great list sponsored by Home Education Magazine!
http://www.home-ed-magazine.com
Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Diane
Mmmm...these kids may not be so complacent. My hsing friend who's very structured is *constantly* badgering and threatening her dd to do her "schoolwork."
:-) Diane
Karin Curtin wrote:
:-) Diane
Karin Curtin wrote:
> But it has always been a mystery to me how so many homeschooling families seem to have these complacent kids that *do their schoolwork* like their mommy tells them to.
>
> Karin
Joseph Fuerst
Karin:
It's a shared mystery here, too. I have a friend (we've been friends since
2nd grade) who started HSing a year after I did. Because my dd only went to
kindergarten (plus a 'play' pre-school) and I had an aquaintence who
mentioned unschooling (causing me to get information!).....I came fairly
quickly to the unschooling way....though the process of de-schooling still
happens in me at imes!
Every time I speak with my friend....she is really stressed about getting
through their chosen curriculum (which changes, since she's trying to find
one they can work with.) three yrs later, she's still fighting with her
sons on academics. Recently, she told me how she "had to ground" her ds
for failing a math quiz! (WHich I tought was really strange, since I have
no idea why you'd 'ground' a child for that...even if you sent him to
school!)
Anyway, I try to gently point out things....like the flexibility, like
her "5th" grader being old enough to do his work independently....like her 3
children having different needs.....and without namimg it, explain my
*relaxed approach*
Susan
But it has always been a mystery to me how so many homeschooling families
seem to have these complacent kids that *do their schoolwork* like their
mommy tells them to.
Karin
It's a shared mystery here, too. I have a friend (we've been friends since
2nd grade) who started HSing a year after I did. Because my dd only went to
kindergarten (plus a 'play' pre-school) and I had an aquaintence who
mentioned unschooling (causing me to get information!).....I came fairly
quickly to the unschooling way....though the process of de-schooling still
happens in me at imes!
Every time I speak with my friend....she is really stressed about getting
through their chosen curriculum (which changes, since she's trying to find
one they can work with.) three yrs later, she's still fighting with her
sons on academics. Recently, she told me how she "had to ground" her ds
for failing a math quiz! (WHich I tought was really strange, since I have
no idea why you'd 'ground' a child for that...even if you sent him to
school!)
Anyway, I try to gently point out things....like the flexibility, like
her "5th" grader being old enough to do his work independently....like her 3
children having different needs.....and without namimg it, explain my
*relaxed approach*
Susan
But it has always been a mystery to me how so many homeschooling families
seem to have these complacent kids that *do their schoolwork* like their
mommy tells them to.
Karin
Fetteroll
on 11/28/01 6:38 PM, Karin Curtin at curtkar@... wrote:
curriculum users right there along side the unschoolers and you could see
the type of questions they asked and what problems they had.
I think part of it is lifestyle and parenting style. In a home where there
is no questioning that mom is dictator and that chores and schoolwork and so
on are an non-questionable part of life -- it probably helps being
fundamentalist Christian too, to be able to get God to back up the family
order -- then getting the kids to do their work will be easier (relatively
speaking) than in an unschooling family. Whether they're damaged emotionally
??? I think that depends on the parents, the lifestyle and the kids. I think
respect is the key. Discipline without the respect I suspect is chancey at
best at turning out mentally healthy kids. But I think discipline and
respect are a tough thing to work out naturally since most people are more
naturally inclined to discipline than respect and if respect without the
discipline works, then why take chances?
There are all sorts of disciplining techniques for when children disobey,
and how to enforce that what mom says isn't to be questioned. If you go to a
Christian homeschooling website, there are parenting books that help parents
of "willful" children.
I suspect there are some kids who do take to schoolish methods. There
actually are kids who love school :-) and those parenst are the ones who
will speak up about how wonderfully it all works. Others may agree because,
though they're having some problems, they're working towards that ideal so
it's only a matter of time before they get that to that point. And others
keep silent because they're ready to wring each other's necks and are
wondering what's wrong with their kids that they aren't doing what they're
told.
Joyce
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> I have often wondered just how your average homeschooling familyThe old homeschooling boards on AOL were very helpful in this. There were
> (adcademically orientated) manages to *get* their kids to do the work they are
> supposed to. How do they push their kids to do the work and the kids do it?
> Are the kids then damaged emotionally, as would be suggested here?
curriculum users right there along side the unschoolers and you could see
the type of questions they asked and what problems they had.
I think part of it is lifestyle and parenting style. In a home where there
is no questioning that mom is dictator and that chores and schoolwork and so
on are an non-questionable part of life -- it probably helps being
fundamentalist Christian too, to be able to get God to back up the family
order -- then getting the kids to do their work will be easier (relatively
speaking) than in an unschooling family. Whether they're damaged emotionally
??? I think that depends on the parents, the lifestyle and the kids. I think
respect is the key. Discipline without the respect I suspect is chancey at
best at turning out mentally healthy kids. But I think discipline and
respect are a tough thing to work out naturally since most people are more
naturally inclined to discipline than respect and if respect without the
discipline works, then why take chances?
There are all sorts of disciplining techniques for when children disobey,
and how to enforce that what mom says isn't to be questioned. If you go to a
Christian homeschooling website, there are parenting books that help parents
of "willful" children.
I suspect there are some kids who do take to schoolish methods. There
actually are kids who love school :-) and those parenst are the ones who
will speak up about how wonderfully it all works. Others may agree because,
though they're having some problems, they're working towards that ideal so
it's only a matter of time before they get that to that point. And others
keep silent because they're ready to wring each other's necks and are
wondering what's wrong with their kids that they aren't doing what they're
told.
Joyce
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Karin
Joyce,
This paragraph that you wrote probably answers my question the best:
I think part of it is lifestyle and parenting style. In a home where there
is no questioning that mom is dictator and that chores and schoolwork and so
on are an non-questionable part of life -- it probably helps being
fundamentalist Christian too, to be able to get God to back up the family
order -- then getting the kids to do their work will be easier (relatively
speaking) than in an unschooling family. Whether they're damaged emotionally
??? I think that depends on the parents, the lifestyle and the kids. I think
respect is the key. Discipline without the respect I suspect is chancey at
best at turning out mentally healthy kids. But I think discipline and
respect are a tough thing to work out naturally since most people are more
naturally inclined to discipline than respect and if respect without the
discipline works, then why take chances?
For the past 5 yrs of trying to homeschool I have been wondering what I am doing wrong that my kids resist doing anything I suggest doing, in terms of schoolwork. I have friends that homeschool. Some I know have the same problems I do. Some do seem to have complacent kids. One family sticks out in that they are not fundamentalist Christian and her kids do tons of work and seem so bookish and smart. They do full Calvert and even other things on top of that. I can see, she is the dictator type that demands respect. Her kids seems to be thriving. She bugs the heck out of me sometimes with her comments, though. She complains about her 11 yo son being a "straight B" student. His efforts are lacking, in her eyes, she still complains about his "writing ability" or lack thereof. I know this kid is doing tons more work than my 10 yo son.
As to how she *gets* her kids to do the work, I asked her once. She says the threat of going back to school is always there. And also she only lets her kids do the things they want (like gaming or having friends over) only when their schoolwork is done.
She got kind of annoyed with my question like "Duh, you're the mom. You're in charge."
I don't know, I tried those things too, with my kids, and didn't get anywhere. That's why I'm unschooling.
Thanks for your input to my question.
Karin
Yahoo! Groups Sponsor
ADVERTISEMENT
Message boards, timely articles, a free newsletter and more!
Check it all out at: http://www.unschooling.com
To unsubscribe, set preferences, or read archives:
http://www.egroups.com/group/Unschooling-dotcom
Another great list sponsored by Home Education Magazine!
http://www.home-ed-magazine.com
Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
This paragraph that you wrote probably answers my question the best:
I think part of it is lifestyle and parenting style. In a home where there
is no questioning that mom is dictator and that chores and schoolwork and so
on are an non-questionable part of life -- it probably helps being
fundamentalist Christian too, to be able to get God to back up the family
order -- then getting the kids to do their work will be easier (relatively
speaking) than in an unschooling family. Whether they're damaged emotionally
??? I think that depends on the parents, the lifestyle and the kids. I think
respect is the key. Discipline without the respect I suspect is chancey at
best at turning out mentally healthy kids. But I think discipline and
respect are a tough thing to work out naturally since most people are more
naturally inclined to discipline than respect and if respect without the
discipline works, then why take chances?
For the past 5 yrs of trying to homeschool I have been wondering what I am doing wrong that my kids resist doing anything I suggest doing, in terms of schoolwork. I have friends that homeschool. Some I know have the same problems I do. Some do seem to have complacent kids. One family sticks out in that they are not fundamentalist Christian and her kids do tons of work and seem so bookish and smart. They do full Calvert and even other things on top of that. I can see, she is the dictator type that demands respect. Her kids seems to be thriving. She bugs the heck out of me sometimes with her comments, though. She complains about her 11 yo son being a "straight B" student. His efforts are lacking, in her eyes, she still complains about his "writing ability" or lack thereof. I know this kid is doing tons more work than my 10 yo son.
As to how she *gets* her kids to do the work, I asked her once. She says the threat of going back to school is always there. And also she only lets her kids do the things they want (like gaming or having friends over) only when their schoolwork is done.
She got kind of annoyed with my question like "Duh, you're the mom. You're in charge."
I don't know, I tried those things too, with my kids, and didn't get anywhere. That's why I'm unschooling.
Thanks for your input to my question.
Karin
Yahoo! Groups Sponsor
ADVERTISEMENT
Message boards, timely articles, a free newsletter and more!
Check it all out at: http://www.unschooling.com
To unsubscribe, set preferences, or read archives:
http://www.egroups.com/group/Unschooling-dotcom
Another great list sponsored by Home Education Magazine!
http://www.home-ed-magazine.com
Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Karin
Susan,
I only have homeschooling friends, no unschoolers yet, except here and unschooling.com. (thankful for that)
I am still pretty quiet about my unschooling ways, I'm still to new to get into any debates about it :-)
But I know people who also seem to go way overboard with the school-at-home thing.
One friend I know has a 13 yo son doing Saxon beginning algebra.
He is really struggling with it, and says she is so upset because he is so careless with his work and gets so many of his problems wrong doing his lessons. We used to do Saxon. I told her I had in incentive worked out for my son to try and not be so careless. If he got 5 or less wrong (out of 20-25 problems), he wouldn't have to go back and correct them. That was fine with me.
I told her this and she looked at me like I was crazy and said "5 wrong! I can't accept that. That's not good enough for me!"
I just shut up at that point. We don't do Saxon any more.
Karin
I only have homeschooling friends, no unschoolers yet, except here and unschooling.com. (thankful for that)
I am still pretty quiet about my unschooling ways, I'm still to new to get into any debates about it :-)
But I know people who also seem to go way overboard with the school-at-home thing.
One friend I know has a 13 yo son doing Saxon beginning algebra.
He is really struggling with it, and says she is so upset because he is so careless with his work and gets so many of his problems wrong doing his lessons. We used to do Saxon. I told her I had in incentive worked out for my son to try and not be so careless. If he got 5 or less wrong (out of 20-25 problems), he wouldn't have to go back and correct them. That was fine with me.
I told her this and she looked at me like I was crazy and said "5 wrong! I can't accept that. That's not good enough for me!"
I just shut up at that point. We don't do Saxon any more.
Karin
----- Original Message -----
From: Joseph Fuerst
To: [email protected]
Sent: Thursday, November 29, 2001 6:42 AM
Subject: [Unschooling-dotcom] Re: homeschooling mystery
Karin:
It's a shared mystery here, too. I have a friend (we've been friends since
2nd grade) who started HSing a year after I did. Because my dd only went to
kindergarten (plus a 'play' pre-school) and I had an aquaintence who
mentioned unschooling (causing me to get information!).....I came fairly
quickly to the unschooling way....though the process of de-schooling still
happens in me at imes!
Every time I speak with my friend....she is really stressed about getting
through their chosen curriculum (which changes, since she's trying to find
one they can work with.) three yrs later, she's still fighting with her
sons on academics. Recently, she told me how she "had to ground" her ds
for failing a math quiz! (WHich I tought was really strange, since I have
no idea why you'd 'ground' a child for that...even if you sent him to
school!)
Anyway, I try to gently point out things....like the flexibility, like
her "5th" grader being old enough to do his work independently....like her 3
children having different needs.....and without namimg it, explain my
*relaxed approach*
Susan
Yahoo! Groups Sponsor
ADVERTISEMENT
Message boards, timely articles, a free newsletter and more!
Check it all out at: http://www.unschooling.com
To unsubscribe, set preferences, or read archives:
http://www.egroups.com/group/Unschooling-dotcom
Another great list sponsored by Home Education Magazine!
http://www.home-ed-magazine.com
Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Elsa Haas
I think, because of complex emotional reasons, some kids rebel outright and
others rebel by going through the motions focusing on convincing mommy
that they really are learning what she wants them to learn. This destroys
their innate intelligence, but may produce a kind of superficial knowledge
or skill. Read John Holts How Children Fail (Revised Edition) for a
detailed description of how this happens in school applicable to home
schools, too.
Elsa Haas
-----Original Message-----
From: ElissaJC@... [mailto:ElissaJC@...]
Sent: Wednesday, November 28, 2001 6:26 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] homeschooling mystery
But it has always been a mystery to me how so many homeschooling families
seem to have these complacent kids that *do their schoolwork* like their
mommy tells them to.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
others rebel by going through the motions focusing on convincing mommy
that they really are learning what she wants them to learn. This destroys
their innate intelligence, but may produce a kind of superficial knowledge
or skill. Read John Holts How Children Fail (Revised Edition) for a
detailed description of how this happens in school applicable to home
schools, too.
Elsa Haas
-----Original Message-----
From: ElissaJC@... [mailto:ElissaJC@...]
Sent: Wednesday, November 28, 2001 6:26 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] homeschooling mystery
But it has always been a mystery to me how so many homeschooling families
seem to have these complacent kids that *do their schoolwork* like their
mommy tells them to.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
meghan anderson
<<<<But it has always been a mystery to me how so many
homeschooling
families seem to have these complacent kids that *do
their schoolwork* like
their mommy tells them to.
Karin>>>>
I don't think they *do* have complacent kids (or at
least most of them aren't). Of the families I know
that do school at home, ALL of them have to cajol,
bribe or threaten almost daily to get them to do "all
of their work" . But they couldn't possibly unschool!
_______ wouldn't learn anything he/she needed to for
later life, or to get into college, or....
Meghan
__________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
Yahoo! GeoCities - quick and easy web site hosting, just $8.95/month.
http://geocities.yahoo.com/ps/info1
homeschooling
families seem to have these complacent kids that *do
their schoolwork* like
their mommy tells them to.
Karin>>>>
I don't think they *do* have complacent kids (or at
least most of them aren't). Of the families I know
that do school at home, ALL of them have to cajol,
bribe or threaten almost daily to get them to do "all
of their work" . But they couldn't possibly unschool!
_______ wouldn't learn anything he/she needed to for
later life, or to get into college, or....
Meghan
__________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
Yahoo! GeoCities - quick and easy web site hosting, just $8.95/month.
http://geocities.yahoo.com/ps/info1
[email protected]
I mostly lurk here, speaking up on the rare occasion. (Mostly because my dd
is at home happily running here and there, learning chess and reading Stuart
Little. and my younger child, ds, is just as happy sitting behind a desk with
all the other kids on the block. And I have been blasted for that choice one
too many times here.) When my dh and I decided to unschool, we decided it
would only work if our children knew that they would always have the freedom
to choose just like Mom and Dad. And things just fell into place for us after
making that decision. My dd just thrived on play all day activities, she
loved to learn to read, and enjoys all sorts of science and math projects.
For her unschooling is like breathing. Then her little brother comes along
and he and I butt heads right from the start, unschooling has made him a
lazy, willful child. To make matters worse, last summer he announces that
since his two bestfriends are heading off to kindergarten, he is too! I was
stumped, flabbergasted, appalled!!! My husband gave me a wicked grin and said
"This is Jack's unschooling! His choice is to go to school, and we have to
honor it." So last August I went to the local school and enrolled him, then I
went to the K teacher and informed her my son would be in her class, and even
though I wasn't too pleased with his choice I would be available to her at
any time. My little boy who wouldn't lift a finger to help around the house,
(We don't do chores, as my dh and I feel that if something needs to be done
than whom ever is available to help helps.) who never took an interest in
books, and was constantly bouncing off the walls resisting all attempts to
engage him in an activity.... Is a gem at school, sits quietly as expected,
loves his teacher.... and on and on. ;o)
So no, unschooling doesn't work for all, but fostering an environment of
respect and trust does. My son feels good about his choice, and after
swallowing my reservations, I feel good about his choice too. My daughter
loves the 7 1/2 uninterrupted hours of Mom time every day, and my Husband
just enjoys being able to give me that wicked grin whenever Jack rushes in to
tell us all about the letter U and Uncle Upton hanging Upside-down from the
Umbrella tree! All because he knows I am thinking "Didn't I try something
just like that?"
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
is at home happily running here and there, learning chess and reading Stuart
Little. and my younger child, ds, is just as happy sitting behind a desk with
all the other kids on the block. And I have been blasted for that choice one
too many times here.) When my dh and I decided to unschool, we decided it
would only work if our children knew that they would always have the freedom
to choose just like Mom and Dad. And things just fell into place for us after
making that decision. My dd just thrived on play all day activities, she
loved to learn to read, and enjoys all sorts of science and math projects.
For her unschooling is like breathing. Then her little brother comes along
and he and I butt heads right from the start, unschooling has made him a
lazy, willful child. To make matters worse, last summer he announces that
since his two bestfriends are heading off to kindergarten, he is too! I was
stumped, flabbergasted, appalled!!! My husband gave me a wicked grin and said
"This is Jack's unschooling! His choice is to go to school, and we have to
honor it." So last August I went to the local school and enrolled him, then I
went to the K teacher and informed her my son would be in her class, and even
though I wasn't too pleased with his choice I would be available to her at
any time. My little boy who wouldn't lift a finger to help around the house,
(We don't do chores, as my dh and I feel that if something needs to be done
than whom ever is available to help helps.) who never took an interest in
books, and was constantly bouncing off the walls resisting all attempts to
engage him in an activity.... Is a gem at school, sits quietly as expected,
loves his teacher.... and on and on. ;o)
So no, unschooling doesn't work for all, but fostering an environment of
respect and trust does. My son feels good about his choice, and after
swallowing my reservations, I feel good about his choice too. My daughter
loves the 7 1/2 uninterrupted hours of Mom time every day, and my Husband
just enjoys being able to give me that wicked grin whenever Jack rushes in to
tell us all about the letter U and Uncle Upton hanging Upside-down from the
Umbrella tree! All because he knows I am thinking "Didn't I try something
just like that?"
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Kolleen
>OZMOM50This is exactly what your son asked for. I think its GREAT. Good luck to
>To make matters worse, last summer he announces that
>since his two bestfriends are heading off to kindergarten, he is too! I was
>stumped, flabbergasted, appalled!!! My husband gave me a wicked grin and
>said
>"This is Jack's unschooling!
all of you.
Kolleen
Karin
This is what I find so sad. The realization that maybe most homeschool families operate like I did.
The amount of unhappiness, frustration and dissapointment must be so prevalant in so many homeschoolers.
This is what I found when trying to homeschool, and we were all miserable.
One thing that has stuck in my head that I read somewhere was something like this:
If your child hates doing his/her schoolwork and you are both yelling, complaining, nagging, crying, etc. then you might as well send your child to school so they can hate their teacher instead of you.
Karin
The amount of unhappiness, frustration and dissapointment must be so prevalant in so many homeschoolers.
This is what I found when trying to homeschool, and we were all miserable.
One thing that has stuck in my head that I read somewhere was something like this:
If your child hates doing his/her schoolwork and you are both yelling, complaining, nagging, crying, etc. then you might as well send your child to school so they can hate their teacher instead of you.
Karin
----- Original Message -----
From: meghan anderson
To: [email protected]
Sent: Friday, November 30, 2001 1:33 AM
Subject: [Unschooling-dotcom] Re: homeschooling mystery
I don't think they *do* have complacent kids (or at
least most of them aren't). Of the families I know
that do school at home, ALL of them have to cajol,
bribe or threaten almost daily to get them to do "all
of their work" . But they couldn't possibly unschool!
_______ wouldn't learn anything he/she needed to for
later life, or to get into college, or....
Meghan
<<<<But it has always been a mystery to me how so many
homeschooling
families seem to have these complacent kids that *do
their schoolwork* like
their mommy tells them to.
Karin>>>>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Sarah Carothers
To me, *that's* unschooling... what the *child* needs and catering to those needs, even if it means... choke, choke... driving up to that old school house and dropping him off!
Good for you and I'm glad you've come back to post on the list.
Sarah
Good for you and I'm glad you've come back to post on the list.
Sarah
----- Original Message -----
From: OZMOM504@...
To: [email protected]
Sent: Friday, November 30, 2001 11:58 AM
Subject: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] homeschooling mystery
I mostly lurk here, speaking up on the rare occasion. (Mostly because my dd
is at home happily running here and there, learning chess and reading Stuart
Little. and my younger child, ds, is just as happy sitting behind a desk with
all the other kids on the block. And I have been blasted for that choice one
too many times here.) When my dh and I decided to unschool, we decided it
would only work if our children knew that they would always have the freedom
to choose just like Mom and Dad. And things just fell into place for us after
making that decision. My dd just thrived on play all day activities, she
loved to learn to read, and enjoys all sorts of science and math projects.
For her unschooling is like breathing. Then her little brother comes along
and he and I butt heads right from the start, unschooling has made him a
lazy, willful child. To make matters worse, last summer he announces that
since his two bestfriends are heading off to kindergarten, he is too! I was
stumped, flabbergasted, appalled!!! My husband gave me a wicked grin and said
"This is Jack's unschooling! His choice is to go to school, and we have to
honor it." So last August I went to the local school and enrolled him, then I
went to the K teacher and informed her my son would be in her class, and even
though I wasn't too pleased with his choice I would be available to her at
any time. My little boy who wouldn't lift a finger to help around the house,
(We don't do chores, as my dh and I feel that if something needs to be done
than whom ever is available to help helps.) who never took an interest in
books, and was constantly bouncing off the walls resisting all attempts to
engage him in an activity.... Is a gem at school, sits quietly as expected,
loves his teacher.... and on and on. ;o)
So no, unschooling doesn't work for all, but fostering an environment of
respect and trust does. My son feels good about his choice, and after
swallowing my reservations, I feel good about his choice too. My daughter
loves the 7 1/2 uninterrupted hours of Mom time every day, and my Husband
just enjoys being able to give me that wicked grin whenever Jack rushes in to
tell us all about the letter U and Uncle Upton hanging Upside-down from the
Umbrella tree! All because he knows I am thinking "Didn't I try something
just like that?"
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
> <<<<Then her little brother comes along[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> and he and I butt heads right from the start, unschooling has made him a
> lazy, willful child. >>>>
>
> Could you explain a bit more what you mean by that? I mean, like how was it
> determined that he was lazy and willful, and who did the determing? Thanks
>
>