Pam Hartley

----------
>From: [email protected]
>To: [email protected]
>Subject: [Unschooling-dotcom] Digest Number 1611
>Date: Thu, Nov 22, 2001, 3:38 AM
>

> If my husband and I believe, as we do, that (for example) our wasteful use
> of oil has something to do with the tensions and bloodshed connected to the
> Middle East and, increasingly, other parts of the world, why are we not
> doing something about it? The saddest thing about this society to me is that
> so few adults do work they really believe in, and that contributes to
> positive change, rather than just something to make a living.
>
> How can teenagers not be upset to look around and see that this is true?
> They are bombarded by urgent messages from the media about all that is
> terrible in the world, and then they look around and see that their own
> parents are doing nothing to change anything. If the kids are asked to help
> at all, it’s in the form of penny drives (not to knock the charity, but it
> doesn’t tend to get at the roots of big problems). If you were a teen,
> wouldn’t all this make you feel like snapping and carping at your parents,
> “rebelling” and picking fights over “nothing”?

I don't think the problems many teens have in our society are due to
ecological issues, they're due to not having good choices of things to do
with their lives. And by good things, I mean good for each individual teen.

A teen will FIND somewhere to focus all that energy and burgeoning
adulthood. Some may choose to focus on things that will harm them or others,
but mostly because the teen in question HAD no good choices.

Given options to do what they love, some will turn to environmentalism, and
some will turn to horse training, and some will turn to the stock market,
and some will turn to ice skating competition, and some will turn to
basketball, some will turn to bicycle repair, some to writing.

The right to choose is everything. The assumption that they are capable and
intelligent and important to their family, AND to the groups of people they
choose to be around (whether the basketball team, the stable, the stock
group, the rink, or, yes, the street gang) is everything.

Pam

Pam

Elsa Haas

Pam said:
“I don't think the problems many teens have in our society are due to
ecological issues, they're due to not having good choices of things to do
with their lives. And by good things, I mean good for each individual teen.”

My response:
I wasn’t referring to purely “environmental” issues or the ones that get
labelled as such (“save the whales”, etc.), but to issues clearly connected
to social consequences that the general public cares about at least to some
degree (starvation, war, terrorism, etc.).

I agree that teens should have choices, and I know that some, given the
choice, will gravitate toward something like the stock market.

But I can’t help thinking that anybody (whether teen or adult) who bases
their life work and worth solely on something like making lots of money in
the stock market must, somewhere deep inside, have a pesky, itching
dissatisfaction eating away at them. Eventually it catches up with them,
maybe in the form of a “mid-life crisis”.

What I meant to say when I referred to those teens allowed a measure of
freedom in the “alternative schools” of some years back is that they might
have had a chance to put their head up and look around at the big picture
earlier than most in this society, so they got a head start on the mid-life
crisis.

But maybe some people are oblivious to these things all their lives, and
even when they catch a televised glimpse of starving kids, or whatever, they
don’t make any connections at all and it doesn’t trouble even their
subconscious minds in the least.

I don’t know – it’s hard to make valid general statements about what might
be troubling our teens, but I think people tend to overlook the possibility
that part of it is the “big issues”.

That doesn’t mean I would try to force a teen (or a child) to see the issues
the way I do. (I especially dislike environmental ed programs that try to
“raise kids’ consciousnesses” about pollution, etc., before they’ve ever had
a chance to just muck around and have fun in the woods.)

I guess I might have explained myself better if I had put what I was trying
to say in more personal terms. I think that, given that my husband and I
feel his job is not really contributing to anything very positive in the
world, we’d better do something about getting him a job we both believe in
before our son gets old enough to pick up on our dissatisfaction,
frustration and cynical complacency and grow into a troubled teenager
himself.

If we were fully convinced that the company my husband works for is doing
terrific things to help people all over the world - for example, by
“stimulating the economy” (no matter how much pollution this produces or
energy it wastes) or by providing people in poor countries with jobs
(however meager the pay or miserable the working conditions), maybe our son
wouldn’t notice or be bothered by global issues.

But, without looking very deeply into the particular practices of this
specific company, we suspect it’s doing things we wouldn’t choose to do on
our own. Our son will eventually pick up on our ambivalence, if we don’t
change something, and will be disappointed in us.

That would be a hard blow, and one I think a lot of young people are hit
with as they try to figure out what to do with their own adult lives.

Elsa Haas

-----Original Message-----
From: Pam Hartley [mailto:pamhartley@...]
Sent: Thursday, November 22, 2001 12:30 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: [Unschooling-dotcom] Re: Teenage rebellion (was control)

----------
>From: [email protected]
>To: [email protected]
>Subject: [Unschooling-dotcom] Digest Number 1611
>Date: Thu, Nov 22, 2001, 3:38 AM
>

> If my husband and I believe, as we do, that (for example) our wasteful use
> of oil has something to do with the tensions and bloodshed connected to
the
> Middle East and, increasingly, other parts of the world, why are we not
> doing something about it? The saddest thing about this society to me is
that
> so few adults do work they really believe in, and that contributes to
> positive change, rather than just something to make a living.
>
> How can teenagers not be upset to look around and see that this is true?
> They are bombarded by urgent messages from the media about all that is
> terrible in the world, and then they look around and see that their own
> parents are doing nothing to change anything. If the kids are asked to
help
> at all, it’s in the form of penny drives (not to knock the charity, but it
> doesn’t tend to get at the roots of big problems). If you were a teen,
> wouldn’t all this make you feel like snapping and carping at your parents,
> “rebelling” and picking fights over “nothing”?

I don't think the problems many teens have in our society are due to
ecological issues, they're due to not having good choices of things to do
with their lives. And by good things, I mean good for each individual teen.

A teen will FIND somewhere to focus all that energy and burgeoning
adulthood. Some may choose to focus on things that will harm them or others,
but mostly because the teen in question HAD no good choices.

Given options to do what they love, some will turn to environmentalism, and
some will turn to horse training, and some will turn to the stock market,
and some will turn to ice skating competition, and some will turn to
basketball, some will turn to bicycle repair, some to writing.

The right to choose is everything. The assumption that they are capable and
intelligent and important to their family, AND to the groups of people they
choose to be around (whether the basketball team, the stable, the stock
group, the rink, or, yes, the street gang) is everything.

Pam

Pam



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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

In a message dated 11/24/2001 3:20:48 AM Eastern Standard Time,
ElsaHaas@... writes:


> Our son will eventually pick up on our ambivalence, if we don’t
> change something, and will be disappointed in us.
>

And maybe even more importantly, you would be disappointed in yourself? And
what message would that give to him. . . I know that is something I am
looking at. . . and how I might pass that on to Lelia. We are discussing it
together though. . . I like being able to do that with her. . . being open
about the mistakes I make. I think it's so very valuable for a young person
to see their parent say, you know, I have done this or am doing this and it's
a mistake or its now who I want to show up as in this world. . . just being
able to see that the person they view somewhat as a god can make mistakes and
admit them is one of the most important lessons I have been able to give to
them.

lovemary


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

If you go ahead and make that change in hubby's job, I would print
your post out and save it to show ds when he's an adult with kids of
his own. He will appreciate seeing how deeply you wrestled with
issues because of your love for him.
Sheila

--- In Unschooling-dotcom@y..., "Elsa Haas" <ElsaHaas@s...> wrote:
> Pam said:
> "I don't think the problems many teens have in our society are due
to
> ecological issues, they're due to not having good choices of things
to do
> with their lives. And by good things, I mean good for each
individual teen."
>
> My response:
> I wasn't referring to purely "environmental" issues or the ones
that get
> labelled as such ("save the whales", etc.), but to issues clearly
connected
> to social consequences that the general public cares about at least
to some
> degree (starvation, war, terrorism, etc.).
>
> I agree that teens should have choices, and I know that some, given
the
> choice, will gravitate toward something like the stock market.
>
> But I can't help thinking that anybody (whether teen or adult) who
bases
> their life work and worth solely on something like making lots of
money in
> the stock market must, somewhere deep inside, have a pesky, itching
> dissatisfaction eating away at them. Eventually it catches up with
them,
> maybe in the form of a "mid-life crisis".
>
> What I meant to say when I referred to those teens allowed a
measure of
> freedom in the "alternative schools" of some years back is that
they might
> have had a chance to put their head up and look around at the big
picture
> earlier than most in this society, so they got a head start on the
mid-life
> crisis.
>
> But maybe some people are oblivious to these things all their
lives, and
> even when they catch a televised glimpse of starving kids, or
whatever, they
> don't make any connections at all and it doesn't trouble even their
> subconscious minds in the least.
>
> I don't know – it's hard to make valid general statements about
what might
> be troubling our teens, but I think people tend to overlook the
possibility
> that part of it is the "big issues".
>
> That doesn't mean I would try to force a teen (or a child) to see
the issues
> the way I do. (I especially dislike environmental ed programs that
try to
> "raise kids' consciousnesses" about pollution, etc., before they've
ever had
> a chance to just muck around and have fun in the woods.)
>
> I guess I might have explained myself better if I had put what I
was trying
> to say in more personal terms. I think that, given that my husband
and I
> feel his job is not really contributing to anything very positive
in the
> world, we'd better do something about getting him a job we both
believe in
> before our son gets old enough to pick up on our dissatisfaction,
> frustration and cynical complacency and grow into a troubled
teenager
> himself.
>
> If we were fully convinced that the company my husband works for is
doing
> terrific things to help people all over the world - for example, by
> "stimulating the economy" (no matter how much pollution this
produces or
> energy it wastes) or by providing people in poor countries with jobs
> (however meager the pay or miserable the working conditions), maybe
our son
> wouldn't notice or be bothered by global issues.
>
> But, without looking very deeply into the particular practices of
this
> specific company, we suspect it's doing things we wouldn't choose
to do on
> our own. Our son will eventually pick up on our ambivalence, if we
don't
> change something, and will be disappointed in us.
>
> That would be a hard blow, and one I think a lot of young people
are hit
> with as they try to figure out what to do with their own adult
lives.
>
> Elsa Haas
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: Pam Hartley [mailto:pamhartley@m...]
> Sent: Thursday, November 22, 2001 12:30 PM
> To: Unschooling-dotcom@y...
> Subject: [Unschooling-dotcom] Re: Teenage rebellion (was control)
>
> ----------
> >From: Unschooling-dotcom@y...
> >To: Unschooling-dotcom@y...
> >Subject: [Unschooling-dotcom] Digest Number 1611
> >Date: Thu, Nov 22, 2001, 3:38 AM
> >
>
> > If my husband and I believe, as we do, that (for example) our
wasteful use
> > of oil has something to do with the tensions and bloodshed
connected to
> the
> > Middle East and, increasingly, other parts of the world, why are
we not
> > doing something about it? The saddest thing about this society to
me is
> that
> > so few adults do work they really believe in, and that
contributes to
> > positive change, rather than just something to make a living.
> >
> > How can teenagers not be upset to look around and see that this
is true?
> > They are bombarded by urgent messages from the media about all
that is
> > terrible in the world, and then they look around and see that
their own
> > parents are doing nothing to change anything. If the kids are
asked to
> help
> > at all, it's in the form of penny drives (not to knock the
charity, but it
> > doesn't tend to get at the roots of big problems). If you were a
teen,
> > wouldn't all this make you feel like snapping and carping at your
parents,
> > "rebelling" and picking fights over "nothing"?
>
> I don't think the problems many teens have in our society are due to
> ecological issues, they're due to not having good choices of things
to do
> with their lives. And by good things, I mean good for each
individual teen.
>
> A teen will FIND somewhere to focus all that energy and burgeoning
> adulthood. Some may choose to focus on things that will harm them
or others,
> but mostly because the teen in question HAD no good choices.
>
> Given options to do what they love, some will turn to
environmentalism, and
> some will turn to horse training, and some will turn to the stock
market,
> and some will turn to ice skating competition, and some will turn to
> basketball, some will turn to bicycle repair, some to writing.
>
> The right to choose is everything. The assumption that they are
capable and
> intelligent and important to their family, AND to the groups of
people they
> choose to be around (whether the basketball team, the stable, the
stock
> group, the rink, or, yes, the street gang) is everything.
>
> Pam
>
> Pam
>
>
>
> Yahoo! Groups Sponsor
> ADVERTISEMENT
>
>
<http://rd.yahoo.com/M=178320.1681224.3212089.1261774/D=egroupweb/S=17
050819
> 72:HM/A=766844/R=0/*http://www.fastweb.com/ib/yahoo-57f>
>
>
> Message boards, timely articles, a free newsletter and more!
> Check it all out at: http://www.unschooling.com
>
> To unsubscribe, set preferences, or read archives:
> http://www.egroups.com/group/Unschooling-dotcom
>
> Another great list sponsored by Home Education Magazine!
> http://www.home-ed-magazine.com
>
>
>
> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service
> <http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/> .
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Bridget

So . . .
. . . are there really people out there organized enough to be able
to find it 15 years later?

Bridget


--- In Unschooling-dotcom@y..., sheran@p... wrote:
> If you go ahead and make that change in hubby's job, I would print
> your post out and save it to show ds when he's an adult with kids
of
> his own. He will appreciate seeing how deeply you wrestled with
> issues because of your love for him.
> Sheila

Tami Labig-Duquette

I am :) I have journals for all my kids with all the cool, crazy, silly
heart warming, etc. things they have done since they were born. They like
looking at them and reading the things they did when they were younger :) I
also save all the little love notes they have given us, takes up alot of
space, but they are important to me and everyday becomes very important to
them as well!
Indiana Tami

"You must be the change you wish to see in the world"
~Ghandi
Networking for Central Indiana unschoolers :)
http://communities.msn.com/ChildLedLearninginIndiana
Children Leading the Way!
http://[email protected]
Fun site for your kids or even you :)
http://www.neopets.com/refer.phtml?username=angel1bunny




----Original Message Follows----
From: "Bridget" <rumpleteasermom@...>
Reply-To: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Subject: [Unschooling-dotcom] Re: Teenage rebellion (was control)
Date: Sat, 24 Nov 2001 19:49:22 -0000

So . . .
. . . are there really people out there organized enough to be able
to find it 15 years later?

Bridget


--- In Unschooling-dotcom@y..., sheran@p... wrote:
> If you go ahead and make that change in hubby's job, I would print
> your post out and save it to show ds when he's an adult with kids
of
> his own. He will appreciate seeing how deeply you wrestled with
> issues because of your love for him.
> Sheila



_________________________________________________________________
Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com/intl.asp

Bridget E Coffman

At the rate I'm going, I'll be lucky to have three pictures of each kid
when they're grown up! We are just not sentimental saver type people I
guess.

Bridget


On Sat, 24 Nov 2001 15:09:40 -0500 "Tami Labig-Duquette"
<labigduquette@...> writes:
> I am :) I have journals for all my kids with all the cool, crazy,
> silly
> heart warming, etc. things they have done since they were born. They
> like
> looking at them and reading the things they did when they were
> younger :) I
> also save all the little love notes they have given us, takes up
> alot of
> space, but they are important to me and everyday becomes very
> important to
> them as well!
> Indiana Tami
>
>

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it
goes on.
- Robert Frost

Tami Labig-Duquette

lovemary, I love this way of thinking :) you can really get me pondering
over things. Thank you :)
Indiana Tami

"You must be the change you wish to see in the world"
~Ghandi
Networking for Central Indiana unschoolers :)
http://communities.msn.com/ChildLedLearninginIndiana
Children Leading the Way!
http://[email protected]
Fun site for your kids or even you :)
http://www.neopets.com/refer.phtml?username=angel1bunny




----Original Message Follows----
From: lite2yu@...
Reply-To: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] Re: Teenage rebellion (was control)
Date: Sat, 24 Nov 2001 06:29:47 EST

In a message dated 11/24/2001 3:20:48 AM Eastern Standard Time,
ElsaHaas@... writes:


> Our son will eventually pick up on our ambivalence, if we don���t
> change something, and will be disappointed in us.
>

And maybe even more importantly, you would be disappointed in yourself? And
what message would that give to him. . . I know that is something I am
looking at. . . and how I might pass that on to Lelia. We are discussing it
together though. . . I like being able to do that with her. . . being open
about the mistakes I make. I think it's so very valuable for a young person
to see their parent say, you know, I have done this or am doing this and
it's
a mistake or its now who I want to show up as in this world. . . just being
able to see that the person they view somewhat as a god can make mistakes
and
admit them is one of the most important lessons I have been able to give to
them.

lovemary


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]



_________________________________________________________________
Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com/intl.asp

Lynda

Hey, we belong to a very elite club and have spent years in training -- The
VIP Club (very important piles) and we always know where everything is <g>

In our family we have two members of this club. One member of the
RightInFrontOfOurFaceAndCan'tFindIt Club. One member of the
YouFindItForMeClub. And one member of the
IBelieveI'mOrganizedSoIMustBeOrganized Club <g>

Lynda
----- Original Message -----
From: Bridget <rumpleteasermom@...>
To: <[email protected]>
Sent: Saturday, November 24, 2001 11:49 AM
Subject: [Unschooling-dotcom] Re: Teenage rebellion (was control)


> So . . .
> . . . are there really people out there organized enough to be able
> to find it 15 years later?
>
> Bridget
>
>
> --- In Unschooling-dotcom@y..., sheran@p... wrote:
> > If you go ahead and make that change in hubby's job, I would print
> > your post out and save it to show ds when he's an adult with kids
> of
> > his own. He will appreciate seeing how deeply you wrestled with
> > issues because of your love for him.
> > Sheila
>
>
>
> Message boards, timely articles, a free newsletter and more!
> Check it all out at: http://www.unschooling.com
>
> To unsubscribe, set preferences, or read archives:
> http://www.egroups.com/group/Unschooling-dotcom
>
> Another great list sponsored by Home Education Magazine!
> http://www.home-ed-magazine.com
>
>
>
> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/
>
>

Lynda

We have Year Boxes. I add things, they add things and there is a whole
history in the boxes--ticket stubs, napkins from restaurants, menus,
drawings, things they've made, journals (youngest is a journal nut), maps,
letters to each other, cards, things we saw that reminded us of something
and we bought for that reason. They drag them out on a regular basis and we
all sit around and play "do you remember." We also drag the photo albums
out that go with each year.

Lynda
----- Original Message -----
From: Tami Labig-Duquette <labigduquette@...>
To: <[email protected]>
Sent: Saturday, November 24, 2001 12:09 PM
Subject: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] Re: Teenage rebellion (was control)


> I am :) I have journals for all my kids with all the cool, crazy, silly
> heart warming, etc. things they have done since they were born. They like
> looking at them and reading the things they did when they were younger :)
I
> also save all the little love notes they have given us, takes up alot of
> space, but they are important to me and everyday becomes very important to
> them as well!
> Indiana Tami
>
> "You must be the change you wish to see in the world"
> ~Ghandi
> Networking for Central Indiana unschoolers :)
> http://communities.msn.com/ChildLedLearninginIndiana
> Children Leading the Way!
> http://[email protected]
> Fun site for your kids or even you :)
> http://www.neopets.com/refer.phtml?username=angel1bunny
>
>
>
>
> ----Original Message Follows----
> From: "Bridget" <rumpleteasermom@...>
> Reply-To: [email protected]
> To: [email protected]
> Subject: [Unschooling-dotcom] Re: Teenage rebellion (was control)
> Date: Sat, 24 Nov 2001 19:49:22 -0000
>
> So . . .
> . . . are there really people out there organized enough to be able
> to find it 15 years later?
>
> Bridget
>
>
> --- In Unschooling-dotcom@y..., sheran@p... wrote:
> > If you go ahead and make that change in hubby's job, I would print
> > your post out and save it to show ds when he's an adult with kids
> of
> > his own. He will appreciate seeing how deeply you wrestled with
> > issues because of your love for him.
> > Sheila
>
>
>
> _________________________________________________________________
> Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com/intl.asp
>
>
> Message boards, timely articles, a free newsletter and more!
> Check it all out at: http://www.unschooling.com
>
> To unsubscribe, set preferences, or read archives:
> http://www.egroups.com/group/Unschooling-dotcom
>
> Another great list sponsored by Home Education Magazine!
> http://www.home-ed-magazine.com
>
>
>
> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/
>
>

[email protected]

In a message dated 11/27/2001 7:49:51 AM !!!First Boot!!!, lurine@...
writes:


> We have Year Boxes. I add things, they add things and there is a whole
>

Aah -- much better than trying to fit my mess into a journal! Good idea.

Nance



[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Bridget E Coffman

I can usually find stuff if it is recent, but to keep track of things
over years . . . it ain't gonna happen with me!


On Mon, 26 Nov 2001 22:36:48 -0800 "Lynda" <lurine@...> writes:
> Hey, we belong to a very elite club and have spent years in training
> -- The
> VIP Club (very important piles) and we always know where everything
> is <g>
>

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it
goes on.
- Robert Frost