Joseph Fuerst

Hey everybody,
I'm fuming here and need to get some perspective on this situation before I
make a decsion.

Early this afternoon a 10 yo neighbor boy came over asking to play with my
dd. We were leaving in 1.5 hours to go to a Harry Potter party at the
library and invited him. He informed me that he'd leave a message for his
dad, but that it would be fine. I said I wanted him to talk to his
dad....to which he replied that he couldn't. Turns out his mom is out of
town and his dad had taken his 8 yo brother fishing.....leaving him alone.
He assured me his dad wouldn't mind as long as he left a message saying
where he went. I reluctantly agreed. ( I also left a message with his
father to say that *surely* his son was mistaken that he had been left alone
and locked out of his own home, but that if I didn't hear from him, I was
taking his son with me so I knew he'd be relatively safe.)Then he went home
to get his library card.
He returned without it, saying he was locked out. (My dd confirmed this
since she went with him.)

So...the guy goes fishing with one child and locks the other one out????
GEEEEEZ. I SO want to call CPS, but am afraid of the retaliation from this
overgrown-adolescent-'dad'. I tried to remain calm with the boy. Later, I
was able to ask him if this is unusual. He said no, but usually his dad
leaves the back door unlocked. My dd later informed me that just yesterday
the guy dropped both boys off on our street while he ran a few errands. He
did not ask anyone to supervise his children or inform anyone that he was
not home.

GRRR! GRRR! GRRR!

Samantha Stopple

> So...the guy goes fishing with one child and locks
> the other one out???? GEEEEEZ. I SO want to call
>CPS, but am afraid of the retaliation from this
> overgrown-adolescent-'dad'. I tried to remain calm
> with the boy. Later, I was able to ask him if this
>is unusual. He said no, but usually his dad
> leaves the back door unlocked. My dd later informed
> me that just yesterday the guy dropped both boys off
>on our street while he ran a few errands. He
> did not ask anyone to supervise his children or
> inform anyone that he was not home.


I wonder does this happen when the Mom is at home? I
might try to be helpful rather than call CPS which
could get the kids in more unhappy of a mess than they
already are if they really. I would be concerned it
get the kids in a foster care situation which does not
always guarantee a better situation for all kids.

So I might connect up with the Mom when she gets back
and say. Your son got locked out of the house when you
were out of town. I would be happy to keep an xtra key
for the kids so they can get in the house when they
get locked out. Build a connection if you feel up to
it. That's what community is about isn't? It's what I
would hope I would have the courage to do.

Absolutley do not threaten them ever that you will
call CPS. If you decide to they won't know who called
because CPS won't tell them. It's likely they will
suspect neighbors called on them.

Peace,
Samantha

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In a message dated 11/11/2001 6:06:14 AM !!!First Boot!!!, sammimag@...
writes:


> So I might connect up with the Mom when she gets back
> and say. Your son got locked out of the house when you
> were out of town. I would be happy to keep an xtra key
> for the kids so they can get in the house when they
> get locked out. Build a connection if you feel up to
> it. That's what community is about isn't? It's what I
> would hope I would have the courage to do.
>



Sounds likes a better solution to me. Or something to let her know that this
went on and you are available to help in some small way.

Unfortunately, this is not that uncommon a situation.

My recent encounter: A young boy (I though 6 or 7 yo, turned out he was 8
(but he had to think about it!)) came to the door selling that school
fundraiser stuff (notice my ladylike restraint). Alone!!!!

It was one of the half-days of ps.

In our first encounter I asked where his Mom or Dad were -- "Oh, Dad's at
work until 6:00 and Mom's at work too." OK -- half day of school. He's
alone until 6:00, from 1:00 on. This was about 1:30 -- he could have been
missing until 6:00 before anyone even knew!

Ack. I did the wrong thing and told him to come back.

I should have just had him wait out on the front deck.

I called the school. No, he was not supposed to be selling door to door.
But, no, it was not the school's problem and there wasn't anything they could
do about it. "Well, the first words out of his mouth are that he's selling
this stuff for XYZ School." No matter.

So, he came back and I had him sit down out on the front deck and gave him a
good talking-to. And he "Yes ma'am"-ed me and seemed to be heading in the
direction of his house. From what I gathered about 5-6 blocks away. He also
claimed that nobody had ever told him that he shouldn't be going up to
strangers' homes or that he shouldn't be out by himself. He was 8 -- and
little -- I could have picked him up under one arm!

Hope he made it home. Should I have taken him home? Who knows what I could
have been in trouble for in that case. But it seemed wrong to send him off
alone.

I think the school is at fault for pumping these little kids up about the
trinkets they can win for selling enough of this junk. And the parents are
at fault too.

But, as the school's assistant prin told me, this is not an uncommon thing.

Vent over!

Nance




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