Re: Wrong crowd
Pam Hartley
----------
the D&D crowd, with a lot of crossover. My parents (who did a lot wrong but
did this right) would drive me to conventions, or put me on a plane to them,
and wave bye.
Almost everyone was older than me. I was a very cute young thing, and I got
hit on. I learned to say "no thanks" to the men and women asking, and they
took no for an answer.
After science fiction, I was next involved in dog shows. Almost the exact
scenario, almost everyone older than me, and I was still pretty cute.
It's not the activity, it's the people. Some teachers seduce their teenage
students in high school. Some baseball coaches molest the boys on their
teams. Some ministers rape girls in their congregations. Any of these would
probably be considered by most people to be "the right crowd" from the
outside.
Pam
>From: [email protected]In my teens I was involved in science fiction fandom -- a close relative to
>To: [email protected]
>Subject: [Unschooling-dotcom] Digest Number 1514
>Date: Sun, Sep 30, 2001, 5:31 PM
>
> My
> regret is that my older son got caught up with a Dungeons and Dragons
> crowd. I met most of them and knew there were some older people
> involved.
the D&D crowd, with a lot of crossover. My parents (who did a lot wrong but
did this right) would drive me to conventions, or put me on a plane to them,
and wave bye.
Almost everyone was older than me. I was a very cute young thing, and I got
hit on. I learned to say "no thanks" to the men and women asking, and they
took no for an answer.
After science fiction, I was next involved in dog shows. Almost the exact
scenario, almost everyone older than me, and I was still pretty cute.
It's not the activity, it's the people. Some teachers seduce their teenage
students in high school. Some baseball coaches molest the boys on their
teams. Some ministers rape girls in their congregations. Any of these would
probably be considered by most people to be "the right crowd" from the
outside.
Pam
[email protected]
When I was younger and my parents could no longer "control" me they cut
me loose. I could have easily been headed the wrong direction and it was
clear to everyone I was no longer interested in my parents ideas.
In order to be emancipated at that time you had to prove employment, and
live on your own. Maybe it's different now.
I don't know if your friend would actually consider this, ( I don't think
I'd have the stomach for it ) but it might be something she could talk
over with her son. It sounds though that communication is a problem, so
this idea might just sound like a rejection to her son. It's hard to
say.
She could find out the legalities of it and let her son know she'd help
him become a "real" adult if this is what he wants. Let him know what it
involves ( full time job, whatever ) and see if he's ready for it.
This sounds like parent/child control issues and emancipation, maybe even
that she'd be willing to support it, gives control to the minor. It also
makes him legally responsible for himself and his actions.
This is a tough issue and my only personal knowledge of it is from my
youth.
Becoming a legal adult probably saved me. It certainly was an eye
opening experience for me and although pretty terrifying in the
beginning, exactly the right choice.(for my particular circumstances)
Deb L, who's very disappointed to hear that IQ tests mean nothing and
will now have to find something else to hold over my husband during
arguments. Who said "cite your sources" ? maybe I'll try that.
me loose. I could have easily been headed the wrong direction and it was
clear to everyone I was no longer interested in my parents ideas.
In order to be emancipated at that time you had to prove employment, and
live on your own. Maybe it's different now.
I don't know if your friend would actually consider this, ( I don't think
I'd have the stomach for it ) but it might be something she could talk
over with her son. It sounds though that communication is a problem, so
this idea might just sound like a rejection to her son. It's hard to
say.
She could find out the legalities of it and let her son know she'd help
him become a "real" adult if this is what he wants. Let him know what it
involves ( full time job, whatever ) and see if he's ready for it.
This sounds like parent/child control issues and emancipation, maybe even
that she'd be willing to support it, gives control to the minor. It also
makes him legally responsible for himself and his actions.
This is a tough issue and my only personal knowledge of it is from my
youth.
Becoming a legal adult probably saved me. It certainly was an eye
opening experience for me and although pretty terrifying in the
beginning, exactly the right choice.(for my particular circumstances)
Deb L, who's very disappointed to hear that IQ tests mean nothing and
will now have to find something else to hold over my husband during
arguments. Who said "cite your sources" ? maybe I'll try that.