Re: I'd love some help
Pam Hartley
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organize my small section of the world.
I have notebooks and lists.
I have written plans and 5 year goals.
The dog has a signature color.
So! What I would recommend is helping him to develop a structure for
himself, that he tracks and is in control of. It could be a check list (I
love those) or just a short daily schedule you could help him with the night
before, the week before, the month before (I love those, too) or you could
start putting him in charge of some portions of the household budget
("Here's $350, let's you and I figure out how to feed us all for a month.")
The biggest thing is that if his world is out of control (and whose isn't?
Hard lesson at 12 or 20 or 60!) he can control some small portions of it. I
once wrote something to a friend who was having a bad time that when the
world throws you to the floor and you're hiding under the bed afraid to come
out, you might as well clean out the dust bunnies under there and fold the
spare socks you find.
In a disorderly universe, creating small spheres of order can be comforting
to some of us, and it sounds like your son would like to give it a try. But
I recommend against enforcement -- for him to be in control and feel in
control, it has to come from him. You can help with suggestions, you can
remind if it's not irritating or he asks you to, you can encourage deep
breaths and calm, but "doing it for him" defeats the purpose.
Pam
>From: [email protected]I am a structure freak. <g> And I don't even hide in the closet. I love to
>To: [email protected]
>Subject: [Unschooling-dotcom] Digest Number 1512
>Date: Sat, Sep 29, 2001, 4:41 PM
>
> SO... How does one incorporate more structure into unschooling, at the
> child's request? I am NOT the world's most structured person anyway, and he
> has no idea how he wants it to look. I think ANYTHING coming from me would
> help at this point, because I think he wants to feel taken care of and in
> control. How do I help find a structure for us that still lets him be in
> control of his life and learning?
organize my small section of the world.
I have notebooks and lists.
I have written plans and 5 year goals.
The dog has a signature color.
So! What I would recommend is helping him to develop a structure for
himself, that he tracks and is in control of. It could be a check list (I
love those) or just a short daily schedule you could help him with the night
before, the week before, the month before (I love those, too) or you could
start putting him in charge of some portions of the household budget
("Here's $350, let's you and I figure out how to feed us all for a month.")
The biggest thing is that if his world is out of control (and whose isn't?
Hard lesson at 12 or 20 or 60!) he can control some small portions of it. I
once wrote something to a friend who was having a bad time that when the
world throws you to the floor and you're hiding under the bed afraid to come
out, you might as well clean out the dust bunnies under there and fold the
spare socks you find.
In a disorderly universe, creating small spheres of order can be comforting
to some of us, and it sounds like your son would like to give it a try. But
I recommend against enforcement -- for him to be in control and feel in
control, it has to come from him. You can help with suggestions, you can
remind if it's not irritating or he asks you to, you can encourage deep
breaths and calm, but "doing it for him" defeats the purpose.
Pam