Thomas and Nanci Kuykendall

>Relax. Your kids are sharp as tacks and will do fine give them room, lots
of room and >stay close very close. I know it sounds Zenish and it is
rather. Have faith.


From an interesting perspective, I am reading my Unschooling messages just
now (and over the past week) intermixed with a pretty hot discussion that
is taking place on another list that I am on (an adoption list.) There are
some folks who homeschool there (even 1 unschooler) some PS teachers,
social workers, families with kids in private school, families with kids in
PS, and many have varying degrees of faith and/or satisfaction in the
system(s) they use or have used. I have included some excerpts below, as I
thought it might be interesting to add to our discussion here. I also
wanted to hear some feedback on this conversation from a more like minded
forum.

There is one mother who homeschools so that her children will not learn
about evolution (!) and will be "sheltered and protected." Is there anyone
here who thinks that way? I am afraid that her posts are perpetuating
stereotypes about homeschooling...

From the Unschoolers there who are not us:
"<< but they're still public schools, expecting all
kids to fit into the same sized/shaped hole, teaching to "the
middle of the class" so that the kids that are not as quick wind
up feeling dumb, and the very bright kids wind up learning how to
get good grades, rather than learning how to learn. >>"

From a list member who is a PS teacher:
"I just don't see this where I am. I teach in a wonderful district that has
some wonderful teacher who are very dedicated to reaching ALL students. I am
amazed at the hours they put into going to inservices to stretch themselves
to be better. In one week I have assessed all the students to know where they
are so when I call them back to read with me we can work on the skills that
they need. I see the low making great growth as well as the high. I have
never had trouble challenging the high and helping the low at the same time.
I know that there are many teachers with many styles but I haven't seen the
type of class where the teacher teaches to the middle for a long time. When
was the last time you went and observed at your local school? You might be
surprised at the improvement and change over the years.

I am seeing students in 2-3rd grade having great book talks about their
favorite authors. I am seeing them write creative stories and help each other
improve and edit their stories. I am watching my 2nd graders working as a
close group to solve problems and make our room a safe fun place. I hear them
learning to give compliments and solve the play ground problems and think I
could never reach them the way they reach each other. None of these type of
interactions could be done in a home school situations where they aren't
working with others their age. I know there are probably some positive
aspects to homeschooling, but there are also many things these kids miss out
on."

From the same homeschool parent as the first one, above:
"This has been addressed a few times already on this list, so
please forgive me for being repetitive.

Homeschooled kids don't *have* to miss out on anything. There are
homeschool groups that are quite large, I already mentioned the
one in my neighborhood with over 200 families actively
participating. There is a classroom full of kids of every age,
and that's just in my neck of the woods. They have facilities
where they do arts and crafts in a group situation once a week,
there's field trips (which many school districts just don't do
anymore) and group study, also on a weekly basis. There are also
extra-curricular activities. For the older kids, they study
together for the more difficult subjects, either with a parent
who has volunteered to teach the subject, or with a teacher hired
for that purpose. One large group even has dances and other
social activities for the older kids! Some districts will let
kids participate in extra-curricular activities, for those that
don't, there are community leagues.

Believe me, I'm not trying to sell anyone on my option, although
like anyone else, I do like to dispel the myths. If nobody here
gave homeschooling a second thought, fine by me! But my decision
to homeschool my son wasn't a knee-jerk reaction, it was
carefully thought out, something my husband and I thoroughly
discussed. I had every preconceived notion about homeschooling
that I've seen mentioned here, until my sister in law did it with
my nieces. And they succeeded beyond any expectation their
previous performance would have hinted at. I hate to say this,
but my sister in law was never a college level student, but she
did an excellent job, sent the girls to magnet schools once spots
opened up testing a grade level *ahead* of their age, socially
well adjusted, and quite happy with the experience. I decided to
look into homeschooling with a less prejudiced eye (not
suggesting anyone else here is prejudiced, just admitting I was).
I simply saw a chance to avoid what I saw as the pitfalls of
public (or even private) school education. I know it won't work
for everyone. I believe it will work just fine for us."

From a homeschooling parent:
I am sorry, but there is absolutely nothing positive that my kids are missing
out on in my opinion. I am not sure how you can offer this opinion if you
have not homeschooled or are not intimately involved with homeschoolers.
The quality or racial make-up of institutionalized schooling is not the
primary reason we have chosen to homeschool. For our family, it is a
lifestyle choice. We enjoy being together all day and functioning as a
family unit. I like learning with my kids and being there when the
lightbulbs go off and they grasp a new concept. We like being able to drive
across the country leisurely taking our classroom on the road at any time in
the year. I like sleeping late or taking a whole day to browse an exhibit at
a local museum. I love that my kids consider their siblings among their best
friends. I love that my ten year old son can change a diaper with the best
of them and adores babies.

I know that many people who don't homeschool love all these things too and I
know there are plenty of extremely close families that don't homeschool. But
the main reason we do homechool is because we like the lifestyle that it
affords our family. Even if I lived in a district with the number one public
school in the country or had access to the most prestigous private school in
the world, I would still homeschool my kids.

From another parent:
This is such an interesting thread. Our children's education, plus who & what
influences their socialization and value system is definitely a highly
charged decision for a parent. I know it always was for me. I opted to take
the public school route for each of my four children.
All of my children have come into contact with excellent and caring teachers.
The last 2 more so than the first 2. Throughout the girls' (my last 2) school
years, they were blessed with projects, activities and challenges that have
guided them into very successful young women. Writing and reading were
emphasized, and self thinking & discovery was encouraged. My oldest daughter
found a teacher who became a mentor to her and gave her hours of extra help.
Guided her toward scholarship money and funding for college. Helped her with
essays, resumes and spent time encouraging her. She is now in her second
year at a local University and continues to succeed. My last daughter is now
a senior in h.s. and very involved in her school. Both girls became involved
in their schools (they went to different schools in the same district-their
choice) multicultural clubs and found a voice for their minority status--the
school system supported and encouraged this also. I would not have been able
to provide several aspects of their "educational" experiences & activities.
We were either very blessed, or very fortunate
not to have what I have heard as described as "normal" teenage rebellion.
There has been no skipping, bad grades, bad language, abusive, disrespectful
or irresponsible behavior or actions, uncaringness nor do they display a lack
of motivation. As parents we set the standard, but thankfully our school
system found ways to affirm and hold students to these standards also. But
ultimately it was our children's choice to create their own standards and I
am so proud of the choices each of them has chosen to make.
I know not all school systems are the same, nor do I believe all students
would benefit from public school--even a good one, but for our family it was
a good discision and isn't that our goal. I have never looked at decision,
private or public school as good, bad or better than another, but more what
is the goal and how can we best help our child to be a well rounded, caring,
loving and productive adult. There cannot possibly be one choice fits all
answer to this question."

Unfortunately I had already deleted some of the more (ahem) shall we
say...adamant? messages against homeschooling before I decided to turn to
this group for a little feedback regarding this discussion. I should tell
you that I started the whole thing by asking why, in all their lamentations
about finding good quality and racially diverse schooling situations for
their cross-racially adopted children, nobody ever mentioned homeschooling
as an option. Then I ducked and covered!

Nanci K. in Idaho

[email protected]

In a message dated 9/6/99 11:46:20 AM EST, tn-k4of5@... writes:

<< There is one mother who homeschools so that her children will not learn
about evolution (!) and will be "sheltered and protected." >>
I, personally, teach my children that, while the theory of evolution exists,
it is incorrect. For more info, you can check out the website:
www.answersingenesis.com. It addresses evolution vs. creation. As any
parent, I do shelter my children with homeschooling: from abusive teachers,
foul language from fellow students, poor self-esteem, etc... I feel every
child should be sheltered from these things! As far as religious viewpoints
go, naturally we teach our children what we hold as truth.
Blessings, Lori in TX