Joseph Fuerst

Hi Sheri.....This has been such a tough week for us all. My DH has a friend
missing.....was in WTC....this makes our brokenheartedness .....I don't
know, deeper....I know most Americans are brokenhearted, but it seems
different if you have been touched more personally. I imagine most of us
are a bit snappier with our children this past week, I know I am. But I'm
also deeply grateful for moments of love and even laughter we can experience
through our innocent little ones.
I feel I'm beginning to ramble now....let me focus on what I wanted to
say: Please be patient with yourself - growing can involve 'pains' and
while you may become more whole, you'll not become inhuman - you'll still
have strong emotions, positive and negative.
Your mention of your home and how it's state of messiness bothers you -
makes you feel badly. I'll refer you to the FLYlady (www.flylady.net). I
am a recovering slob. I have lived with CHAOS most of my life. This site,
this program has been a godsend for me. Hope you'll check it out.....let me
know what you think!
Suz

] current events


I must admit that I too haven't really read most of the posts from
yesterday
and today. I skimmed past most, they seemed far too petty in light of
recent
events. One friend of the family dead and two others on the missing list.
My
mom is heart broken, they are her friends. Darren her husband is a retired
big wig in the Air Force. So many family and friends in the military...I
haven't heard from my dear friend who lives in Manhatten, I am sure they
are
fine but will feel better when I hear from her. I am rambling... I had the
TV on too much and am grumpy...

I have been snapping at my kids, which makes me feel terrible. I have
heard
some amazing personal stories from many of you. I have a story too, not
always pretty. I used to spank my kids and yell a lot. We have been using
unschooling as a path to healing, some days I feel it is working and I am
amazed at all I have learned and how much stronger my relationship to my
kids has become. Then there are days when I "lose it" and revert to my
yelling. I am in counseling, but am about to be kicked off insurance, my
counselor says I am one the sanest people she knows. But I don't always
feel
that way. All it takes is one "blow out" for my kids to be in tears and my
five year old to revert to some old behaviors.

I feel a bit like a failure tonight. I yelled at my kids, after neglecting
them for two days. The current events will probably directly effect us,
(husband is military). My house is a mess, which always makes me feel
badly. I could sure use some words of encouragment. Have any of you come
from a troubled beginnings and overcome?

Please don't tear apart my post, I am sure I worded much of it poorly. I
am
feeling a bit sensitive and not sure I want to deal with harsh words right
now. I need some unschooling encouragment and words of guidance. Thanks .

~Sheri