Ann

Well, I've been reading and reading ect...., and I too am sitting here
thinking....why does it matter?
I call us homeschoolers. Does it matter what kind we are? Hard to define
really. We don't go to school, but we learn all the time in our own way, doing
it the best way for us at the time. We make mistakes, start over, try things,
give them up.
We don't care what we are called by others. We just do our thing each day, and
love it!
Ann

Karen

Ann

I'm with you. I don't understand why there's all this controversy over our "labels" The way I see it, as long as we're doing our best the majority of the time...we're doing okay.

Hugs
Karen
----- Original Message -----
From: Ann
To: [email protected]
Sent: Sunday, September 09, 2001 10:48 PM
Subject: [Unschooling-dotcom] Re: Unschooler/homeschooler...whatever!


Well, I've been reading and reading ect...., and I too am sitting here
thinking....why does it matter?
I call us homeschoolers. Does it matter what kind we are? Hard to define
really. We don't go to school, but we learn all the time in our own way, doing
it the best way for us at the time. We make mistakes, start over, try things,
give them up.
We don't care what we are called by others. We just do our thing each day, and
love it!
Ann






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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Fetteroll

on 9/10/01 4:49 AM, Ann <mumsienc@...> wrote:

> Well, I've been reading and reading ect...., and I too am sitting here
> thinking....why does it matter? I call us homeschoolers. Does it matter what
> kind we are? Hard to define really. We don't go to school, but we learn all
> the time in our own way, doing it the best way for us at the time. We make
> mistakes, start over, try things, give them up. We don't care what we are
> called by others. We just do our thing each day, and love it!

No, it doesn't make any difference to the rest of the world how someone
homeschools any more than it makes a difference how someone eats. The
discussion perhaps looks like someone saying this is how I homeschool and
others saying, no you're wrong you need to do it this way.

But the discussion -- at least on some people's part! -- is about clarifying
what is and what is not *unschooling*.

If people want to be *pure unschoolers* -- not just be more relaxed
homeschoolers -- then they need to see real unadulterated unschooling in
action. It's *scary* to get away from the well traveled shore. We're trying
to show how people do navigate successfully without relying on the shoreline
at all. There *are* some parts where you'll be scared and most people will
feel more comfortable retreating back to shore. That will work for them.
(*Unschoolers* don't feel it will work as well. If we did think there were
better ways we'd be doing them! That's not a condemnation of someone
choosing some other way, just honestly following what we believe in.) But we
want those who *don't want to rely on the shore* to know it isn't necessary.
It *will* take some uncomfortableness to learn to see things in new ways,
but it *does* work.

For those who want to travel out beyond the shore/lessons only occasionally,
the information is still valuable and they can pick and choose what they
like and feel comfortable with. For shore hugging/lessons there's *plenty*
of places to get that kind of information. (There are *hundreds* of sites
and books and articles where you can find ways to make kids write. There are
a few handfuls (if even!) of sites where you can see kids learning to write
without being made to. Is it so wrong to want to fiercely protect
information we feel is unique and valuable?)

As another example pure, unadulterated unschooling or vegetarianism or
sailing or Buddhism or living off the grid information is useful to those
who want to be those things in their pure form without compromising. The
information is *also* useful to those who don't mind compromising. They can
take what they like and leave the rest. On the other hand information about
those ideas that suggests compromises for the uncomfortable parts is *only*
useful to those who don't mind compromises but *isn't* useful to those who
want to embrace those ideas without compromises.

We're just trying to say here's unschooling in it's pure, unadulterated
form. Take it all and call it unschooling. Or take just the parts you like
but please call it something else as a courtesy to those who are trying to
get the pure form.

Does that help?

Joyce

Bridget E Coffman

On Sun, 09 Sep 2001 22:48:59 -0400 Ann <mumsienc@...> writes:

> We don't care what we are called by others. We just do our thing
> each day, and love it!
> Ann
>
>

Us too, and I've pretty much said as much already. My concern and reason
for continuing shifted yesterday a bit. I realized that I don't care
what you choose to call me but telling me to go away after my first
(kinda sorta) education related post was probably not a good way to get
support for the movement or to help those who may need it.
I'm not even sure who said it but if I had been a more sensitive type, I
would have cut and run and you all would never have known if I were a
first time homeschooler looking for a path or not. I stuck around for
other reasons and discovered that there are only a few here who are like
that - tell people to go away or that they are wrong.

Bridget
~~~~If electricity comes from electrons...does that mean that morality
comes from morons?~~~~
I sent my Soul through the Invisible,
Some letter of that After-life to spell;
And by and by my Soul returned to me,
And answered, "I Myself am Heaven and Hell." -- The Rubaiyat

Ann

Joyce...
I've been thinking about his for a day....I don't know why I don't understand this
debate.. Strange that I can't seem too....
Maybe it is that I am trying to classify where I belong? I'm not sure. I guess
this matters to me, though I didn't think it did.
Can I ask some more questions to you (and others who are reading)?

>
> If people want to be *pure unschoolers* -- not just be more relaxed
> homeschoolers -- then they need to see real unadulterated unschooling in
> action.

Are there people that are aiming to be a "pure unschooler". I guess I never
thought of aiming to be any sort of homeschooler. I just wanted to be with my
kids, and for us to live our life together. Sort of share the journey of life so
to speak.but it *does* work.

The analogy of traveling beyond the shore is wonderfully put. A very clear picture
in the mind of learning at home I think. (probably alot of other things that are
done against the popular opinion)

> Is it so wrong to want to fiercely protect
> information we feel is unique and valuable?)

No, seems like a very normal, human reaction. This sentence has really been
sticking in my mind though... I just don't feel a need to defend it. If others
don't agree with the way I raise my children, birth my children, feed my children,
conduct my marriage, plant my garden ect, ect so on and so on... that is just fine
with me. They can do it their way. I just never thought of protecting and
defending. Maybe I'm living in a safe fog though. (though I like that safe fog)
:)

> As another example pure, unadulterated unschooling or vegetarianism or
> sailing or Buddhism or living off the grid information is useful to those
> who want to be those things in their pure form without compromising. The
> information is *also* useful to those who don't mind compromising. They can
> take what they like and leave the rest. On the other hand information about
> those ideas that suggests compromises for the uncomfortable parts is *only*
> useful to those who don't mind compromises but *isn't* useful to those who
> want to embrace those ideas without compromises.

I read this three or four times outloud....heee...heee... I think I understand
what you mean here. I may be too loose in my thinking. I am the most unrigid of
people. This seems like a very rigid ...um....whats the word.... classification?
I see things "looser" if that makes sense. I have a hard time believing that
people are all or nothing of anything. We (as in humans) seems to be constantly
changing, and evolving in many ways...our thoughts as well as bodies.
Am I understanding this the way you meant?

> We're just trying to say here's unschooling in it's pure, unadulterated
> form. Take it all and call it unschooling. Or take just the parts you like
> but please call it something else as a courtesy to those who are trying to
> get the pure form.

I understand this, I just can't figure out what I am I guess... LOL. This is
almost getting funny how much I keep trying to figure this out. Maybe like I said
before I don't care what I am, and I don't feel a need to defend a movement (as in
the unschooing movement)
I'm not sure much of my post is making sense, but I really appreciate your hard
work in explaining. I'm really thinking hard about this.
Ann

Elizabeth Hill

Karen wrote:

> Ann
>
> I'm with you. I don't understand why there's all this controversy over our "labels" The way I see it, as long as we're doing our best the majority of the time...we're doing okay.
>

Hmmm. Saying that something "is not unschooling" is not the same as saying "Gee, what you are doing is wrong, wrong, wrong, and I won't ALLOW you to raise your kids that way."

Betsy

[email protected]

On Mon, 10 Sep 2001 13:23:08 -0400 Ann <mumsienc@...> writes:
>
. I just don't feel a need to defend
> it. If others
> don't agree with the way I raise my children, birth my children,
> feed my children,
> conduct my marriage, plant my garden ect, ect so on and so on...
> that is just fine
> with me. They can do it their way. I just never thought of
> protecting and
> defending. Maybe I'm living in a safe fog though. (though I like
> that safe fog)

I've been thinking about your post. I guess the need to define comes if
you feel that unschooling is bigger than just your family. Not all of us
will give ourselves to the "cause" or "movement". Some, like Sandra and
others, will feel strongly enough about the social impact they begin to
think beyond their own children, to what it could mean for all children.
Like any social movement it begins with a personal choice. You have
made your personal choice and know it's right. At some point, maybe, if
you see a friend's child suffering humiliation at public school, you
might decide to speak up. " Do you know there's a better way? Doesn't
this child deserve more?" When enough people begin to search for that
better way, they will need to know WHAT to look for. They will want
examples, WHAT is this? WHY does it work? HOW do I implement it?
If you say "homeschooling" and someone is looking to you for that better
way, and in their mind "homeschooling" is text books and drills and
structure, they won't find it.
You and I might never tour the country speaking on behalf of unschooling,
or write books, or make ourselves available to others who have questions.
But if you use that one word, and we all know it's bigger than just a
word, it might make all the difference to your neighbor's child or your
sister's child or your friend's child.

I had this great analogy all worked out but knew you'd thank me for
keeping it to myself.
Deb L

Ann

> I had this great analogy all worked out but knew you'd thank me for
> keeping it to myself.

Ha, ha, ho, ho, ho!!
Thanks Deb...
I can see you've been putting some thought into this.
I can see this side of this "debate" too.
While I've been thinking it I was also thinking/thanking those like Sandra
and Grace Llewyln for writing their books to inspire me to think a different
way and showing me *another* way of homeschooling.
But, this is informing, not like the debating in such as is going on here?
Is it? I'm not sure.
Ann

Elizabeth Hill

>
>
> I've been thinking about your post. I guess the need to define comes if
> you feel that unschooling is bigger than just your family. Not all of us
> will give ourselves to the "cause" or "movement". Some, like Sandra and
> others, will feel strongly enough about the social impact they begin to
> think beyond their own children, to what it could mean for all children.

Ahhhh. This prompted me to think.

Although I agree with what was said earlier that unschooling isn't a
religion, I think it IS a "faith" -- faith in the inherent abilties of our
children.

Betsy

[email protected]

<< Some, like Sandra and
others, will feel strongly enough about the social impact they begin to
think beyond their own children, to what it could mean for all children. >>

When I was a little kid I wanted to be a teacher.

When I was a teen, I wanted to be one of these three: missionary, teacher,
or journalist.


Tadaa!!



Sandra

"Everything counts."
http://expage.com/SandraDoddArticles
http://expage.com/SandraDodd

Fetteroll

on 9/10/01 2:35 PM, Ann <mumsienc@...> wrote:

> Are there people that are aiming to be a "pure unschooler".

Yes, though it sounds a bit odd put that way! As though it were a cult where
the goal is to follow some nonsensical rules to reach nirvana ;-)

First there's the certainty -- from observation, personal experience,
reading and thought and discussion, at least to our satisfaction -- that
given a rich, nurturing, real environment free from coerced learning we
trust that kids will grow in the direction that suits them best.

So, perhaps the first sticking point for people understanding why
unschoolers defend the unschooling process is that unschoolers have
different goals for their kids than the average parent and the second
sticking point is we're certain that the standard way of thinking about
learning will interfer with those goals. It's more on the order of trusting
that nurturing kids interests to the fullest extent -- if immersed in the
process of living (like food shopping and bill paying and voting and so
forth) -- will allow kids to absorb what they need for life and grow into
who they are.

The average parent thinks of learning more in terms of feeding their kids'
capabilities. They want to make sure the kids have a solid foundation to
begin building whatever the kids want to.

But, like most foundations, the kids are limited to what they've been handed
and unfortunately aren't given the skills to expand or start over from
scratch. On the other hand, the unschooled kids will have a foundation
they've been shaping to their own specifications from the get go *and* in
the process they'll have been acquiring the skills to build in any direction
or configuration they need.

Most homeschooling parents are on a continuum between the two extremes.

The first sticking point doesn't get talked about much. It just sort of
evolves out of taking the unschooling journey. It's hard to stay on the fast
track to Harvard when you realize how wonderful the flowers and streams and
woods are along the way ;-)

The second sticking point is where unschoolers get defensive about what is
and isn't unschooling. Without understanding the first and then also
realizing the second is necessary for the first, then unschoolers can come
off as seeming rigid and inflexible as though they're saying "McDonalds is
not food!" when it seemed like people were just generally talking about
lunch ;-)

So unschoolers basically believe coerced learning will interfer with the
type of unfolding their hoping to nurture in their child.

*To me* the purpose of the list is to help people along the unschooling path
and to share with other unschoolers. Anything else the list gets used for is
fine as long as it doesn't interfere with those two. (Others may perceive
the purpose of the list differently.)

Part of the defensiveness is because most people come to unschooling filled
with scripts about how learning needs to take place: practicing, directing
and so forth. And those people who are trying to "get" unschooling need to
see a model free from those scripts so they can build new paradigms for
themselves. Whether they become radical unschoolers or not, it's still a
difficult process to go through and most unschoolers are sympathetic to
newbies coming along, being painfully aware of their own difficult journey
to a new way of thinking.

And part of it is because the list is for unschoolers to share unschooling
with each other. For those who aren't pure unschoolers to suggest ideas that
aren't unschooling is sort of like a visitor suggesting a Buddhist ritual
might be nice in the middle of the Catholic service ;-) It does cause some
confusion when a self-identified unschooler comes in and offers methods that
other unschoolers are ceertain will interfer with unschooling goals and
people's understanding of unschooling.

Joyce

[email protected]

--- In Unschooling-dotcom@y..., ddzimlew@j... wrote:
>
>> If you say "homeschooling" and someone is looking to you for that
>better way, and in their mind "homeschooling" is text books and
>drills and structure, they won't find it.

Thank you so much for saying this! A lot of people wouldn't even say
they HSed when I first started. I always have because if a HSing mom
in the library hadn't fessed up to me 12+ years ago, I might not have
known there was *a better way* for another year or so. Luckily I
found *Better Then School* in that same library which led me to John
Holt's writings.

Now you have caused me to think about what I'll say to strangers who
ask, will I simply say *we homeschool* and wait until a few questions
go by before saying *well, we unschool* or do I just jump right in?

Debbie

[email protected]

On Tue, 11 Sep 2001 16:14:24 -0000 MidPathMe@... writes:
> Now you have caused me to think about what I'll say to strangers who
> ask, will I simply say *we homeschool* and wait until a few questions
> go by before saying *well, we unschool* or do I just jump right in?

I often bypass the whole thing and say, "She doesn't go to school." I
also don't like the connotations homeschooling has for many people.
Lately I've avoided the word unschooling too, because so many people will
say, "Oh,yes, we unschool too, have you tried X curriculum for math?"

Cacie will sometimes just say "I don't do school" and leave it at that.

I'll admit that I just tell my grandma and her friends that we
homeschool, though... she's 88 and slipping, and that seems to be all she
can wrap her mind around.

Daron

[email protected]

In a message dated 9/11/01 10:15:28 AM, MidPathMe@... writes:

<< Now you have caused me to think about what I'll say to strangers who
ask, will I simply say *we homeschool* and wait until a few questions
go by before saying *well, we unschool* or do I just jump right in? >>

We say "the kids don't go to school"

they say "Oh, you homeschool?"

I say "kind of" or "yes, but we don't do school at home"

or we say "we homeschool"
and they say "what curriculum"
and I say "None--it's like the old open classroom stuff from the 60's"
because in New Mexico that was big stuff and most people over the age of 30
were involved in it one way or another.

Sandra

"Everything counts."
http://expage.com/SandraDoddArticles
http://expage.com/SandraDodd

Lynda

As you enjoy English/writing, what made you choose teacher over journalist
at that point as your primary goal?

Lynda
----- Original Message -----
From: <SandraDodd@...>
To: <[email protected]>
Sent: Tuesday, September 11, 2001 9:03 AM
Subject: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] Re: Unschooler/homeschooler...whatever!


>
> << Some, like Sandra and
> others, will feel strongly enough about the social impact they begin to
> think beyond their own children, to what it could mean for all children.
>>
>
> When I was a little kid I wanted to be a teacher.
>
> When I was a teen, I wanted to be one of these three: missionary,
teacher,
> or journalist.
>
>
> Tadaa!!
>
>
>
> Sandra
>
> "Everything counts."
> http://expage.com/SandraDoddArticles
> http://expage.com/SandraDodd
>
>
> Message boards, timely articles, a free newsletter and more!
> Check it all out at: http://www.unschooling.com
>
> To unsubscribe, set preferences, or read archives:
> http://www.egroups.com/group/Unschooling-dotcom
>
> Another great list sponsored by Home Education Magazine!
> http://www.home-ed-magazine.com
>
>
>
> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/
>
>

Lynda

It is strange but only the youngest ever seems to get these questions.
Hmmm, I wonder why, oh well, at anyrate, that is the same answer she always
gives, "I don't DO school."

Lynda
----- Original Message -----
From: <freeform@...>
To: <[email protected]>
Cc: <[email protected]>
Sent: Tuesday, September 11, 2001 9:26 AM
Subject: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] Re: Unschooler/homeschooler...whatever!


>
>
> On Tue, 11 Sep 2001 16:14:24 -0000 MidPathMe@... writes:
> > Now you have caused me to think about what I'll say to strangers who
> > ask, will I simply say *we homeschool* and wait until a few questions
> > go by before saying *well, we unschool* or do I just jump right in?
>
> I often bypass the whole thing and say, "She doesn't go to school." I
> also don't like the connotations homeschooling has for many people.
> Lately I've avoided the word unschooling too, because so many people will
> say, "Oh,yes, we unschool too, have you tried X curriculum for math?"
>
> Cacie will sometimes just say "I don't do school" and leave it at that.
>
> I'll admit that I just tell my grandma and her friends that we
> homeschool, though... she's 88 and slipping, and that seems to be all she
> can wrap her mind around.
>
> Daron
>
>
> Message boards, timely articles, a free newsletter and more!
> Check it all out at: http://www.unschooling.com
>
> To unsubscribe, set preferences, or read archives:
> http://www.egroups.com/group/Unschooling-dotcom
>
> Another great list sponsored by Home Education Magazine!
> http://www.home-ed-magazine.com
>
>
>
> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/
>
>

[email protected]

In a message dated 9/11/01 10:53:22 AM, lurine@... writes:

<< As you enjoy English/writing, what made you choose teacher over journalist
at that point as your primary goal?
>>

We were poor and lived in a tiny town, I needed a job soon, and wanted to be
able to take care of my mom. I left high school early, deciding between
Hardin-Simmons (a Baptist college in West Texas where my uncle, who was a
preacher, had gone), St. John's in Santa Fe (which was talking "local
scholarship" to me if I'd write an essay on Plato, about which I knew ZIP),
and the state university: cheaper, closer, and I'd have a teaching
certificate in four years (St. John's would have needed an additional year
after graduation to get a certificate).

Four years later I was a teacher in my home town, and helping take care of my
mom and the baby she had had while I was in college (alternately with the guy
who got her pregnant, but he was very unreliable and not too interested in
the situation).

Sandra

"Everything counts."
http://expage.com/SandraDoddArticles
http://expage.com/SandraDodd

[email protected]

In a message dated 9/11/2001 8:02:43 AM Eastern Daylight Time,
ddzimlew@... writes:


> I've been thinking about your post. I guess the need to define comes if
> you feel that unschooling is bigger than just your family. Not all of us
> will give ourselves to the "cause" or "movement". Some, like Sandra and
> others, will feel strongly enough about the social impact they begin to
> think beyond their own children, to what it could mean for all children.
> Like any social movement it begins with a personal choice. You have
> made your personal choice and know it's right. At some point, maybe, if
> you see a friend's child suffering humiliation at public school, you
> might decide to speak up. " Do you know there's a better way? Doesn't
> this child deserve more?"


I think I would say something that doesn't attack the parent. I think I
would say something like "Do you know about homeschooling? We really love
it. " Then follow up with more info if there was any interest. In a way
that reassures the parent that there are several other options without
finding fault with the parent -- and probably just making them defensive
anyway. I would try to offer hope and encouragement without a pinch of
judgement and superiority. Some folks think they have found the answer --
that's terrific. But it's not the answer for everyone. The only "answer"
for everyone, imo, is to figure it out for yourself, one situation, one
family, one child at a time. The only "movement" I hope to see developing is
one where every parent knows what all their choices are and feels confident
enough to make a conscious decision. Whether they end up hsing or not.

Nance


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Lynda

When did you get started with writing? Did it come from the decision to go
with an unschooling life style for your kids?

Lynda, who is always curious about life choices and the paths people take.
----- Original Message -----
From: <SandraDodd@...>
To: <[email protected]>
Sent: Tuesday, September 11, 2001 10:16 AM
Subject: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] Re: Unschooler/homeschooler...whatever!


>
> In a message dated 9/11/01 10:53:22 AM, lurine@... writes:
>
> << As you enjoy English/writing, what made you choose teacher over
journalist
> at that point as your primary goal?
> >>
>
> We were poor and lived in a tiny town, I needed a job soon, and wanted to
be
> able to take care of my mom. I left high school early, deciding between
> Hardin-Simmons (a Baptist college in West Texas where my uncle, who was a
> preacher, had gone), St. John's in Santa Fe (which was talking "local
> scholarship" to me if I'd write an essay on Plato, about which I knew
ZIP),
> and the state university: cheaper, closer, and I'd have a teaching
> certificate in four years (St. John's would have needed an additional year
> after graduation to get a certificate).
>
> Four years later I was a teacher in my home town, and helping take care of
my
> mom and the baby she had had while I was in college (alternately with the
guy
> who got her pregnant, but he was very unreliable and not too interested in
> the situation).
>
> Sandra
>
> "Everything counts."
> http://expage.com/SandraDoddArticles
> http://expage.com/SandraDodd
>
>
> Message boards, timely articles, a free newsletter and more!
> Check it all out at: http://www.unschooling.com
>
> To unsubscribe, set preferences, or read archives:
> http://www.egroups.com/group/Unschooling-dotcom
>
> Another great list sponsored by Home Education Magazine!
> http://www.home-ed-magazine.com
>
>
>
> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/
>
>

[email protected]

In a message dated 9/11/01 1:06:01 PM, lurine@... writes:

<< When did you get started with writing? Did it come from the decision to go
with an unschooling life style for your kids?
>>

I always loved words, and song lyrics, and rhymes, so words were like toys
for me, and since I was nine I read about the history of English so I started
knowing which words were older, which were newer, why we had multiple words
for some things and not for others.

I wrote in school. I wrote letters. I've never written fiction much,
usually essays--inspiring and persuasive stuff. Underground/arts newspaper
in high school, letters to editors...

I was a writer for fun before I ever went to college.



Sandra

"Everything counts."
http://expage.com/SandraDoddArticles
http://expage.com/SandraDodd