Janet F Hamlin

<<<< If she does not do any of it
(including the weeks chores) then she looses some autonomy. >>>>

>Autonomy is a synonym for freedom in the thesaurus, but if by "loses some
autonomy" you mean her freedom is limited if she didn't finish her work,
it's
control. <

I understand that she wants to achieve a goal (college or whatever) and she
needs to master some material in order to achieve that. If she asks for
some help with that, that's still unschooling. If you help her set a
schedule over a period of weeks to months in order to achieve that, it's
still unschooling. If she decides not to do the work or follow the
schedule, that should be HER decision alone, and the consequences (not
getting into whatever program) are HERS alone, THAT is unschooling. And she
will have learned a valuable life lesson either way.

For instance, my daughter, almost 7, has a problem with her handwriting.
She avoids it because she knows it's bad, and it's hard for her. On
occasion she'll come to me and ask for help. I'll give her some suggestions
and she'll maybe work in a workbook, trace some letters, etc. But if after
30 seconds she decides to go watch a video or do a watercolor or ride her
bike, that's fine. I'm not enforcing 10 minutes several times a week to
achieve that goal. I may ask her every now and then if she wants to
practice, but if she says no, that's ok with me.

That is what is being said on this list. I haven't seen anyone trying to be
rude, but some have been very blunt because it seems that you're not
understanding this crucial point.

Janet, mom to Caroline, almost 7!! and Thomas, 3

Bridget E Coffman

On Sun, 9 Sep 2001 16:59:18 -0400 "Janet F Hamlin" <jefhdvm@...>
writes:
> If she decides not to do the work or follow the
> schedule, that should be HER decision alone, and the consequences (not
> getting into whatever program) are HERS alone, THAT is unschooling.
And she
> will have learned a valuable life lesson either way.
>

I think the problem in understanding here stems from this: Our lives are
completely integrated. Housework and 'schoolwork' are part of life. We
don't give allowances and we don't pay for work done. We consider room
and board enough payment but if one of them wants something, they are
much more likely to get it if I am happy with them than if I am not. Use
of the car is one of those things. It isn't her car. Heck, it isn't
even mine. The money for gas more often than not is my money. So it's a
trade, if she wants something from me, I want something from her.
Bartering at it's finest and most subtle. And if on any given week she
does not feel like writing, I probably won't make an issue of it. I
might make an issue of it if she does not feel like getting out of bed
for an entire week, but that is somethign different entirely.

Bridget
~~~~If electricity comes from electrons...does that mean that morality
comes from morons?~~~~
I sent my Soul through the Invisible,
Some letter of that After-life to spell;
And by and by my Soul returned to me,
And answered, "I Myself am Heaven and Hell." -- The Rubaiyat