Rachel Wolfe Ravenhart

Wild Thornberrys rocks! *G* I LOVE Tim Curry and Lacey Chalbert! *G*


Rachel Ravenhart

Annette Naake wrote:

> I also have to say that having watched some of the cartoons they like
> (Rugrats, the Wild Thornberrys, Ed Edd and Eddy, Spongebob)


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Sarah Carothers

Excellent point, Pat! It would be easier if the desserts weren't anywhere around.
But wouldn't it be *great* if you could get to a point where it didn't *matter* if the desserts were there or not! .... a point where you could take 'em or leave 'em.
What would it take to make the desserts a non-attraction? I know if I stuffed myself with them and got really OD'd on sugar, I would probably not have any desire for more sweets for quite some time. (I can say this with confidence as I just *did* this over the holidays!).
So with tv, what would it take to make it a non-attraction? Some people are trying not having cable. Others are trying no tv in the house at *all*. Still others are not setting any limits on tv to de-mystify it. In my house ( and speaking only for myself & family), I find that if I totally remove tv, then the first chance they get to *see* one, they're glued to it and fail to interact with the family we're visiting. So, we don't do tv limits for that reason.
Sarah

----- Original Message -----
From: Pat Cald...
To: [email protected]
Sent: Sunday, December 30, 2001 9:21 PM
Subject: Re: tv was: [Unschooling-dotcom] Re: grandparents
Since we are pondering some questions here .... How powerful is the power of suggestion? If I went on a diet, and decided not to eat desserts until I lost the weight I needed to lose, which way would be easier, if the temptation was limited or if everyone ate dessert in front of me every night. Now I know you are going to say that eventually I will be tempted and need to learn to deal with it and you will be right but by then hopefully there will be other positive reinforcements to help.

Pat




[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Annette Naake

I wanted to offer a bit of reassurance to those who are thinking of letting
go control of the TV. I used to limit TV strictly for my son -- an hour a
day or a video a day. He seemed to spend all his time begging for TV or a
video, as if sitting in front of the screen were the most sublime pastime a
person could ever wish for. I was always saying "no" to TV. I had the same
attitude toward Nintendo (we didn't have one).

Then I started reading on this unschooling list. I discovered a new attitude
toward TV, one that seemed to say that TV wasn't necessarily brain-rot. I
realized that some of the smartest, nicest kids I know had unlimited access
to TV and video games. They don't spend all their time watching/playing.
And they never beg for TV. How much more pleasant a life.

So now, watching TV and playing video games is my sons' choice (I have two
boys now). They do watch, but I wouldn't say they watch a lot. They love to
draw, play ball, climb trees, take bubble baths, play board games like
"Clue" and "Guess Who" in front of the fire, cook simple foods, ride
scooter/skateboards/bikes, make up games outside. They love to be read to,
meanwhile drawing or playing legos. They like to play with their cat and
guinea pigs. The 9yo likes to read, to himself and aloud to his brother.

Today, they have had full continuous access to TV and video games any time
they wished. They have watched TV (nothing particularly "worthwhile") and
played video games. They also have done all the things listed in the
paragraph above (along with meals, baths and a visit to a friend's house).
At the moment, because I wanted to look at my e-mail, the 9yo is on the
couch behind me writing a story on a laptop computer ("Once there was a
mutant frog named Nicky...") and asking me how to spell words like laughed,
desert and knew, and the 4yo is playing a human-body game on another
computer (with our help). And there has been no begging for TV.

I personally do not like most TV and I am baffled by video games. I can
sympathize with those who just don't like the racket in the background. But
I think this experiment has proven successful. I think that rationing TV
makes it seem more important or desirable than it otherwise would be. And
some of the smartest and most successful adults I knew spent plenty of time
in front of the TV when they were kids.

Just wanted to share some of my experiences and also to thank other people
on this list who have opened my eyes to allowing kids to make their own
choices.

Annette

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Pat Cald...

Well Sarah, if we could figure out a way to make desserts a non-attraction we would be millionaires! LOL Thanks for the thought provoking discussion.

Pat


>>Excellent point, Pat! It would be easier if the desserts weren't anywhere around.
But wouldn't it be *great* if you could get to a point where it didn't *matter* if the desserts were there or not! .... a point where you could take 'em or leave 'em.
What would it take to make the desserts a non-attraction? I know if I stuffed myself with them and got really OD'd on sugar, I would probably not have any desire for more sweets for quite some time. (I can say this with confidence as I just *did* this over the holidays!).
So with tv, what would it take to make it a non-attraction? Some people are trying not having cable. Others are trying no tv in the house at *all*. Still others are not setting any limits on tv to de-mystify it. In my house ( and speaking only for myself & family), I find that if I totally remove tv, then the first chance they get to *see* one, they're glued to it and fail to interact with the family we're visiting. So, we don't do tv limits for that reason.
>>Sarah

----- Original Message -----
From: Pat Cald...
To: [email protected]
Sent: Sunday, December 30, 2001 9:21 PM
Subject: Re: tv was: [Unschooling-dotcom] Re: grandparents
Since we are pondering some questions here .... How powerful is the power of suggestion? If I went on a diet, and decided not to eat desserts until I lost the weight I needed to lose, which way would be easier, if the temptation was limited or if everyone ate dessert in front of me every night. Now I know you are going to say that eventually I will be tempted and need to learn to deal with it and you will be right but by then hopefully there will be other positive reinforcements to help.

Pat




[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]



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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Sarah Carothers

<Thanks for the thought provoking discussion.

Pat
>
We should meet over dessert and have another thought provoking discussion someday :-)<bwg> We'll have to wait awhile though... I'm stuffed :-)
Sarah



[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Karin

Annette - I just wanted to say that I loved your post. Your house sounds
almost exactly like mine. And you probably said better what I tried to say
earlier today about tv and the computer.

I find that the less I limit about ANYTHING, the better it is for everybody.
Unless it has to do with obvious safety issues, we are all happier when I
say less "no" and more "yes". I am really getting addicted to making my kids
happy. I try to be mindful of it. Because, when I do, I find that then, they
do things to make me happy. It's a wonderful cycle. And yes, I learned my
new attitude here and especially at unschooling.com.
Unschooling has truly changed our lives for the better.

Karin




Annette Naake wrote:

> I wanted to offer a bit of reassurance to those who are thinking of
letting
> go control of the TV. I used to limit TV strictly for my son -- an hour a
> day or a video a day. He seemed to spend all his time begging for TV or a
> video, as if sitting in front of the screen were the most sublime pastime
a
> person could ever wish for. I was always saying "no" to TV. I had the
same
> attitude toward Nintendo (we didn't have one).
>
> Then I started reading on this unschooling list. I discovered a new
attitude
> toward TV, one that seemed to say that TV wasn't necessarily brain-rot. I
> realized that some of the smartest, nicest kids I know had unlimited
access
> to TV and video games. They don't spend all their time watching/playing.
> And they never beg for TV. How much more pleasant a life.
>
> So now, watching TV and playing video games is my sons' choice (I have two
> boys now). They do watch, but I wouldn't say they watch a lot. They love
to
> draw, play ball, climb trees, take bubble baths, play board games like
> "Clue" and "Guess Who" in front of the fire, cook simple foods, ride
> scooter/skateboards/bikes, make up games outside. They love to be read to,
> meanwhile drawing or playing legos. They like to play with their cat and
> guinea pigs. The 9yo likes to read, to himself and aloud to his brother.
>
> Today, they have had full continuous access to TV and video games any time
> they wished. They have watched TV (nothing particularly "worthwhile") and
> played video games. They also have done all the things listed in the
> paragraph above (along with meals, baths and a visit to a friend's house).
> At the moment, because I wanted to look at my e-mail, the 9yo is on the
> couch behind me writing a story on a laptop computer ("Once there was a
> mutant frog named Nicky...") and asking me how to spell words like
laughed,
> desert and knew, and the 4yo is playing a human-body game on another
> computer (with our help). And there has been no begging for TV.
>
> I personally do not like most TV and I am baffled by video games. I can
> sympathize with those who just don't like the racket in the background.
But
> I think this experiment has proven successful. I think that rationing TV
> makes it seem more important or desirable than it otherwise would be. And
> some of the smartest and most successful adults I knew spent plenty of
time
> in front of the TV when they were kids.
>
> Just wanted to share some of my experiences and also to thank other people
> on this list who have opened my eyes to allowing kids to make their own
> choices.
>
> Annette
>
> _________________________________________________________________
> Join the world's largest e-mail service with MSN Hotmail.
> http://www.hotmail.com
>
>
>
> Message boards, timely articles, a free newsletter and more!
> Check it all out at: http://www.unschooling.com
>
> To unsubscribe, set preferences, or read archives:
> http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Unschooling-dotcom
>
> Another great list sponsored by Home Education Magazine!
> http://www.home-ed-magazine.com
>
>
>
> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/
>
>

[email protected]

In a message dated 12/30/01 8:59:33 PM, naake1999@... writes:

<< And
some of the smartest and most successful adults I knew spent plenty of time
in front of the TV when they were kids. >>

I follow this philosophy myself, yet I still wonder if this is a valid
argument. I know two sisters who never breastfed any of their children ever,
not even once in the hospital. They never even considered it, and when I
gently questioned them they both said they were formula fed, and they are
fine. Well, they both may be fine, couldn't they perhaps be even "finer" if
they had been breastfed?

As I said, I don't limit the tv ever, for myself or the kids, just wondering
about the rationale.

Melinda

Pat Cald...

Melissa,

The responses I got from most of the people on this list were regarding limits. I agree with everyone that setting limits for or restricting our children can cause problems. But, I think before we can come up with an answer for ourselves on what to do about TV, we need to answer the question- What is really wrong with TV anyway? The book "The Plug-In Drug: Television, Children, and the Family" is listed under resources in Mary Griffith's book "the unschooling handbook" it is said to be a classic on why television is bad for children and for the family. I have not read the book but I have come up with my own opinions. Mainly the potential for the *over* exposure to outside influences that promote ideas that are destructive. Ideas such as - happiness comes from buying things, that women should use their bodies to get what they want (instead of their minds), that there is no shame in promiscuity and sex is fun and there are no boundaries as long as it feels good. My dh and I do use every opportunity to discuss our values and to expose things on TV for what they are but I put too-much-TV in the same category as ps peer pressure. I'm afraid if there is *too much* exposure nothing I say will matter. Which brings me to compare TV to ps. In my mind there are similarities. The children are captive audiences to some things that may influence them negatively. Certainly there are many good things on TV as there can be some good things about ps. Another thing that concerns me is the effect on the developing brain of a child. Would the child's brain be better off (such as with breast milk) if there was a limit to TV exposure? We have found that watching TV on the weekends only has worked for us. The kids do not ask for TV all the time because they have found other things to do during the week and they do not miss it but they don't feel cheated either since they get to watch a fair amount. Just with watching TV on the weekends (2-3 hrs. a night) my kids watch 4-6 hours a week. That is still a lot but I think there is a balance. Thanks for listening.

Pat



Pat

----- Original Message -----
From: JAROCKI9@...
To: [email protected]
Sent: Monday, December 31, 2001 12:41 PM
Subject: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] tv



In a message dated 12/30/01 8:59:33 PM, naake1999@... writes:

<< And
some of the smartest and most successful adults I knew spent plenty of time
in front of the TV when they were kids. >>

I follow this philosophy myself, yet I still wonder if this is a valid
argument. I know two sisters who never breastfed any of their children ever,
not even once in the hospital. They never even considered it, and when I
gently questioned them they both said they were formula fed, and they are
fine. Well, they both may be fine, couldn't they perhaps be even "finer" if
they had been breastfed?

As I said, I don't limit the tv ever, for myself or the kids, just wondering
about the rationale.

Melinda

Message boards, timely articles, a free newsletter and more!
Check it all out at: http://www.unschooling.com

To unsubscribe, set preferences, or read archives:
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http://www.home-ed-magazine.com



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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

On Mon, 31 Dec 2001 15:08:12 -0500 "Pat Cald..." <homeschoolmd@...>
writes:
> Which brings me to compare TV to ps. In
> my mind there are similarities. The children are captive audiences
> to some things that may influence them negatively.

Except that they're not captive at all, they're perfectly free to turn it
off, mute during commercials, talk back to commercials, change the
channel, pick up a book... all of which sometimes happens here. Try doing
that in public school...

>My dh and I do use every opportunity to discuss our values and to
expose things on TV for what they are but I put too
>much-TV in the same category as ps peer pressure. I'm afraid if there
is *too much* exposure nothing I say will matter

I think sometimes that talking too much about my values can backfire. I
live by my values, or try to, but I don't talk about them much. I talk
about other people's values, I guess, when I see them in action. I listen
to my daughter's values... and I trust her to figure out for herself what
they are, and I accept that they may be different from mine.

Dar
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Alan Moorehead

>> My dh and I do use every opportunity to discuss our values and to
> expose things on TV for what they are but I put too
>> much-TV in the same category as ps peer pressure. I'm afraid if there
> is *too much* exposure nothing I say will matter
>

> =============
> I think sometimes that talking too much about my values can backfire. I
> live by my values, or try to, but I don't talk about them much. I talk
> about other people's values, I guess, when I see them in action. I
> listen
> to my daughter's values... and I trust her to figure out for herself
> what
> they are, and I accept that they may be different from mine.
>
> Dar
> ================

I definitely agree with you Dar. I never talk about or offer my values
to my children unless it comes up in the form of an answer to one of
their question. I don't like the idea of imposing my values upon my
children. I like for them to figure things out for themselves. I think
I offer them enough by modeling good behavior. My values are shown by
my behavior and what I do as I live my life. I don't need to teach them
values.

As far as TV is concerned, I think, if we are involved with out
children, we have much more of an ifluence on them than TV does, no
matter how much they watch. I don't restrict TV at all and don't really
feel a need to.

Mimi

Lorraine Goods

On Sun, 30 Dec 2001, Karin wrote:

> I find that the less I limit about ANYTHING, the better it is for everybody.
> Unless it has to do with obvious safety issues, we are all happier when I
> say less "no" and more "yes".

I guess this is the gist of it, whether one considers the effects of a lot
of TV watching to be harmful. If you do think this, then it does become a
safety issue. Like letting your kids do drugs, or stay out all night, or
carry a weapon. Where does one draw the line, or does one?

BTW, Happy New Year to everyone; this is my first post to this list. We
homeschool here in Brooklyn, NY. Most of the people we hang out w/call
themselves unschoolers, but I don't really label myself as any one thing,
at this point (we've been homeschooling for two years) I'm open to
anything that works and am continually being surprised by son's
capabilities.

Best,
Lynn

gruvystarchild

Sarah,
I guess it was your comment on how Bart Simpson is not educational
and that it's pure entertainment that caused me to post about tv.

I was trying to explain how losing the word "educational" when
referring to a childs activities (even tv) limits them. If we are
fully supportive of any and all of our children's interests (barring
something truly destructive) it opens doors.
Labels like educational close doors.
YK?
Anyway, I think we understand each other.
And I'm glad you had a Happy Birthday.

Pat,
I'm glad you didn't take my post wrong.
I strive to be supportive, but I tend to be blunt at times.
I get frustrated when people pull these bizarre stories out of the
woodwork as though to equate unschoolers to negative outcomes.
A doesn't lead to B in this case.
We have to look at the variables.
Unschool parent's often get the finger pointed at them as though they
are neglectful also.
A neglectful family couldn't be more opposite from an unschooler that
gives their child freedom of choice.
I love something that was posted at another e-mail group about the
Buddha way of looking at it.
I can't write the whole thing because it's not in front of me but the
idea was that you don't ignore, you don't force, you are THERE.
Observing and aware, but letting the moment flow.
That is Unschooling to me.
Being aware, being involved. Not coercing and pushing your views.
I have such a hard time making it clear. Does that make sense?

And thank you Karin for that Cheer! That was sweet.

Ren

[email protected]

In a message dated 5/22/02 6:07:09 AM Central Daylight Time,
[email protected] writes:

<< Out of context. I'm not interested in debating the positive aspects
of using tv in place of time spent with another human being--if that's
your bag with your kids, as I said, fine--that's not the issue I
posted over. I specifically mentioned that we don't have a tv so that
we could talk about *other* suggestions, and yet that aspect is what
has gotten the most response. That's interesting. Is this list always
this negative or do you ever see posts actually being answered in ways
that are helpful to the poster? >>


Actually, the responses weren't negative. The only negative responses I read
are from you about tv and computer.
It's been proven to be detrimental to unschooling and to learning in general.
Maybe you could open your mind a little and see where your negative responses
are blocking the answers to some of your problems.
Ren

Stephanie Elms

Ok, I am a hundred or so messages behind, but wanted to write a quick one. I used to
believe those studies about tv and we definitely limited it. What convinced me to
change my mind was realizing that the warnings to not let your kids watch more then
2 hrs/day were based on kids who were in school all day. Betw school and homework,
if kids were watching more then 2 hrs/day, they most likely were not doing much else.
For our kids, 2 hrs/day is really not much when you look at all the "free" time they
have. There is tons of time for them to do other things.

We lifted restrictions on tv back in october and it has worked great. They definitely
watch more then the 1 hr/day I previously let them, but I have found that they
are now doing other things while watching (previously my oldest (6 yo) would
pretty much sit transfixed). Now he builds legos, bounces on his mini trampoline,
plays with his brother etc. Much of the time the tv is more background noise. I have
also noticed that they do use the tv to relax...after we have had a really exciting day
and also to transition to waking up in the morning (all 3 of us usually cuddle on the
couch and watch blue's clues).

Things I have also noticed is that they don't fight when we have to go somewhere and
turn off the tv. When my ILs were visiting, they hardly turned it on at all (my ILs
love playing with the boys). It is pretty easy to get them involved in other things
(mainly with the tv on). The tv no longer goes on first thing when we get home and
Jason has started asking me to put on music. I have seen no loss in creativity...they
still like to do lots of stuff. It has cut back on arguments and I like that I no
longer make them feel bad for liking something "bad".

The only downfall is that I have lost my "never-fail" option...before lifting restrictions
if I had to get something done (phone call etc) I could always let them watch tv...doesn't
hold the same attraction nowadays...

Stephanie E.
>

Kelli Traaseth

Stephanie Elms <stephanie.elms@...> wrote:
>> We lifted restrictions on tv back in october and it has worked great. <snip> Things I have also noticed is that they don't fight when we have to go somewhere and
turn off the tv <snip> The tv no longer goes on first thing when we get home and
Jason has started asking me to put on music. I have seen no loss in creativity...they
still like to do lots of stuff. It has cut back on arguments and I like that I no
longer make them feel bad for liking something "bad".>>



This is so cool Stephanie!



Isn't it great!



Kelli










---------------------------------
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Stephanie Elms

> Stephanie Elms <stephanie.elms@...> wrote:
> >> We lifted restrictions on tv back in october and it has
> worked great.
>
> This is so cool Stephanie!

> Isn't it great!

> Kelli

Yeah. It is. :o) And the food thing has been going a little better since
I had my "aha" moment last week....

Stephanie E.

[email protected]

In a message dated 10/8/2003 1:03:50 AM Eastern Standard Time,
[email protected] writes:
They both sometimes watch Jerry Springer. It embarrasses me because I have
many poor southern relatives and I hate to think of the similarities. But
that's my personal problem. <g> They see it in several different ways, and
have
discussed why people would be the way they are. They don't think those
people
are typical or sensible. We've talked about how lacking some people are in
the most basic of social skills and awarenesses, and what might help them be
better and that show is one of the most fascinating labs for what lack of
interpersonal intelligence can lead to.

I don't personally like courtroom shows, but years ago, when I was a kid, I
really did.
When the big "scandal" about a lot of Springer's shows being staged and
planned came out, I was not appalled. In fact, I found it reassuring.

We watch Judge Judy pretty often. When my friend Melissa was preparing for
her Bar exam, we found we were able to answer most of the Civil questions
correctly, and knew WHY the decisions were the way they were. That was pretty cool.

Kathryn


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

pam sorooshian

On Wednesday, October 8, 2003, at 05:25 AM, KathrynJB@... wrote:

> When the big "scandal" about a lot of Springer's shows being staged and
> planned came out, I was not appalled. In fact, I found it reassuring.

I know two people, personally, who were on Jerry Springer. They are
actors.

-pam