[email protected]

In a message dated 9/6/01 2:42:15 AM Mountain Daylight Time,
[email protected] writes:

<< There are GOOD choices, too.

Several posters (I lost count) have now said, "I would rather yell than..."
and then listed something else that's bad. We COULD be saying, "Rather than
yell, I would like to..." and list ways that are GOOD for communicating to
people, including our children.
>>

Pam, I believe in my case at least I am not coming across as I wish to be
heard. I believe in Positive Discipline ala Barbara Coloroso, Jane Nelson,
and Mary Sheedy Kurchinka(Raising Your Spirited Child). What I was saying is
I am trying my hardest to be a Zen mommy but I do at times lose it and yell.
Zoe also yells. I believe it is in us but we can change and want to.I am not
condoning yelling at my child in anger,I hate when I do it but I admit to
doing it. I do however feel it is better than what I grew up w/ which was
shaming and blaming and name calling. So I am at least doing better than the
generation before me.

Am I understood yet? Or do you still think I am a person to steer clear of?

One other thing. I do prefer my style of yelling and screaming yet having
it over and done w/ than my dh's silence and avoidance technique that can
last a day. Makes me feel my life as I know it is over. Again this stems from
my history and coping skills. Hopefully over the years we will find the best
way to argue for us and be comfortable w/ it. It is never easy combining
styles is it? ;o)

NICKI~

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In a message dated 9/6/01 2:42:15 AM Mountain Daylight Time,
[email protected] writes:

<<
We've owned a few TB mares that we crossed with quarter horses.

We did have one gelding that had been raced. We called him Screwy Lewy!
That goofy horse would still "hear" the bell on the starting gate and up
would go his head and away he'd go! Took a real "expert" to ride him
because you never knew when he'd "hear" that bell <g>

Lynda >>

Yes, poor TB race horses have a tough road after that life. My mother was
doing the foaling for a trainer but after a few years said no more. She cared
way more than the owners and couldn't take it anymore.

NICKI~

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In a message dated 9/6/01 2:42:15 AM Mountain Daylight Time,
[email protected] writes:

<< Unless you really like arguing, that is. :-)
>>

I hate arguing,I feel like I lose my point every time. Recently someone
tried to get into the vacs issue w/ me and I could tell right away she
thought she was right and I was oh so wrong. I simply told her we would have
to agree to disagree b/c we would never see eye to eye on the issue. Same w/
circ and her opinion. My mother is so dominant in arguing style I am not
strong enough to argue my points. I get lost.

NICKI~

Bridget E Coffman

On Thu, 6 Sep 2001 16:28:30 EDT RValvo7626@... writes:
> I simply told her we
> would have
> to agree to disagree b/c we would never see eye to eye on the issue.
> Same w/
> circ and her opinion. My mother is so dominant in arguing style I am
> not
> strong enough to argue my points. I get lost.
>
> NICKI~
>

So which side of the circumsician thing are you an?

Bridget

~~~~If electricity comes from electrons...does that mean that morality
comes from morons?~~~~
I sent my Soul through the Invisible,
Some letter of that After-life to spell;
And by and by my Soul returned to me,
And answered, "I Myself am Heaven and Hell." -- The Rubaiyat