[email protected]

In a message dated 9/2/01 1:40:27 AM Mountain Daylight Time,
[email protected] writes:

<< One should walk in the shoes perhaps first of a
shouting/hollering/screaming
family. >>


I agree. I am from an Irish Catholic
yelling,screaming,stomping,cursing,family and it works. Usually. There are a
few in our family who shame and blame, verbal abuse. That is not right in my
opinion. Much more harmful than yelling.I never have or will verbally abuse
my child but I will yell. Because it is in me and it happens. She is also a
yeller and has been a very loud child since the day she was born. I remember
trying so hard to keep her a tad quieter in the hospital. No maternity ward
here,everyone else was in for knee surgery it seemed.One hall of patients. :o)

Dh is also from a family of yellers Italian this time. Now he went the
other way and rarely yells. But when he does watch out. So I think I'd rather
let it out in its initial stages. <g>.

It comes down to what you are saying,words hurt worse than tone.

NICKI~

[email protected]

In a message dated 9/2/01 1:40:27 AM Mountain Daylight Time,
[email protected] writes:

<< ery personal question, but would you have rather that he not be a part of
your life at all?

i ask because my ex is in rehab right now. i wonder is a touch and go, empty
promise father better than no father at all?

brenda
>>

Very tough question. I am trying to think what kind of imprint my father
made on me and my life.

I did date men w/ his patterns as a teen. I did however marry a complete
opposite.Thank God!


I know I'm not answering your question. I am glad I knew my father. On
the flip side my cousins father left her mother when she was pregnant. he was
an alcoholic and flaky. Later they found eachother and it was disappointing.
All her life she wanted to know her father. I think it would have been better
to know him as a child instead of forming an image then having it blown.

As a parent it is a really tough call. I am sure there were times my
mother didn't want to send me on that plane. She did and I am glad b/c I know
my father. I do believe I had some great guides that kept me alive.Still do I
am sure. :o)

NICKI~

jefferson academy

>
> I agree. I am from an Irish Catholic
> yelling,screaming,stomping,cursing,family
\
My mother's family is a mix of many things including
Italian and Irish Catholic *and* Protestant- and this
is where my loudness comes from - when I read the word
Catholic it reminded me of how loud even our *wakes*
are! And I'm not talking wailing - just loud talk,
laughter, children in an adjoining room - louder than
most people's parties! (Actually much of this has
calmed down with my generation, as not all my cousins
are loud, and we don't bring our children to wakes
except for their grandparents, and some don't even
bring them then.)

=====
Michele
(mom of 5dd: Justice 22, Felicity 20, Christian 18, Grace 13, Elysian (Mia)2)

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