Shouting
Dawn Scagnelli
The first time Kirby was around drunken adults who were "conversing"
(insulting each other loudly) he was really afraid. My sister's
kids were
just calmy watching TV--they had obviously heard it all before.
Quite honestly, I wouldn't want my kids around any drunken adults, either.
As I mentioned in my last post, my husband is loud, and I am not. And at first,
that loudness did scare me--not just his, but when I saw it at work (Italian
boss at the time). But I've learned now that it's just their ways. I will admit
to "Please, calm down...please, lower your voice" on occasion with hubby though.
:)
I am saying that if a mom says she would prefer not to have her young
children visit in a home in which the parents yell at their children (not
"HEY, come eat ice cream!" but "YOU IDIOT!" and I thought that was clear
from
the beginning), that if another person says kids need to be exposed to
other
families' practices, that if "other families' practices" goes from kind of
yelling to blatant sexual abuse or crack-house-management, I think EVERY
mother will draw her own line somewhere.
I think that there should be a clear distinction between yelling and
shouting and verbal abuse. That's not to say that occasionally a voice raised
doesn't happen in correction, but IMO, it should never include name
calling. Can't say that I've much appreciated some of the recent name calling
here, either. :(
Pam is being overly criticized for drawing hers at parents who
yell.
Why is that line bad, but other lines are good?
I'm not so sure that Pam's intentions are necessarily what others are
interpreting--but even if they are, it is her decision. I know that if you are
not used to loudness, regardless of its origin, it can send your stomach into
your throat, and make your heart race. It does to me.
If no lines are bad, and kids should be exposed to other lifestyles,
should I
send my kids to do volunteer work at the crack house now so they'll not be
surprised when they come across it later in life?
IMO, children are like plants that need to be nurtured. When they are ready
they can be hardened off and transplanted, but if done to soon it can be
disastrous. I realize there are some flaws in this analogy, but I think most of
you know what I mean.
From Pam's quiet-family point of view, abusive-in-face yelling is a bad
thing. It seems (perhaps I am wrong) that people here are
justifying
yelling, but they're not talking about marine-drill-sergeant
yelling. If so,
the argument is missing its point and the insults on Pam are unwarranted
(something else I've been saying).
Again, I that is just what I am wondering...sometimes I hear what you are
saying and what I hear is not what you are saying kind of thing.
Renee
bach2yoga@...
We are students of words; we are shut up in schools, and colleges, and
recitation rooms, for ten or fifteen years, and come out at last with a bag
of wind, a memory of words, and do not know a thing.
--Ralph Waldo Emerson
"It is in fact nothing short of a miracle that the modern methods of
instruction have not yet entirely strangled the holy curiosity of inquiry;
for this delicate little plant, aside from stimulation, stands mainly in
need
of freedom; without this it goes to wrack and ruin without fail."
--Albert Einstein
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
(insulting each other loudly) he was really afraid. My sister's
kids were
just calmy watching TV--they had obviously heard it all before.
Quite honestly, I wouldn't want my kids around any drunken adults, either.
As I mentioned in my last post, my husband is loud, and I am not. And at first,
that loudness did scare me--not just his, but when I saw it at work (Italian
boss at the time). But I've learned now that it's just their ways. I will admit
to "Please, calm down...please, lower your voice" on occasion with hubby though.
:)
I am saying that if a mom says she would prefer not to have her young
children visit in a home in which the parents yell at their children (not
"HEY, come eat ice cream!" but "YOU IDIOT!" and I thought that was clear
from
the beginning), that if another person says kids need to be exposed to
other
families' practices, that if "other families' practices" goes from kind of
yelling to blatant sexual abuse or crack-house-management, I think EVERY
mother will draw her own line somewhere.
I think that there should be a clear distinction between yelling and
shouting and verbal abuse. That's not to say that occasionally a voice raised
doesn't happen in correction, but IMO, it should never include name
calling. Can't say that I've much appreciated some of the recent name calling
here, either. :(
Pam is being overly criticized for drawing hers at parents who
yell.
Why is that line bad, but other lines are good?
I'm not so sure that Pam's intentions are necessarily what others are
interpreting--but even if they are, it is her decision. I know that if you are
not used to loudness, regardless of its origin, it can send your stomach into
your throat, and make your heart race. It does to me.
If no lines are bad, and kids should be exposed to other lifestyles,
should I
send my kids to do volunteer work at the crack house now so they'll not be
surprised when they come across it later in life?
IMO, children are like plants that need to be nurtured. When they are ready
they can be hardened off and transplanted, but if done to soon it can be
disastrous. I realize there are some flaws in this analogy, but I think most of
you know what I mean.
From Pam's quiet-family point of view, abusive-in-face yelling is a bad
thing. It seems (perhaps I am wrong) that people here are
justifying
yelling, but they're not talking about marine-drill-sergeant
yelling. If so,
the argument is missing its point and the insults on Pam are unwarranted
(something else I've been saying).
Again, I that is just what I am wondering...sometimes I hear what you are
saying and what I hear is not what you are saying kind of thing.
Renee
bach2yoga@...
We are students of words; we are shut up in schools, and colleges, and
recitation rooms, for ten or fifteen years, and come out at last with a bag
of wind, a memory of words, and do not know a thing.
--Ralph Waldo Emerson
"It is in fact nothing short of a miracle that the modern methods of
instruction have not yet entirely strangled the holy curiosity of inquiry;
for this delicate little plant, aside from stimulation, stands mainly in
need
of freedom; without this it goes to wrack and ruin without fail."
--Albert Einstein
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]