Pam Hartley

----------
>From: [email protected]
>To: [email protected]
>Subject: [Unschooling-dotcom] Digest Number 1359
>Date: Sun, Aug 12, 2001, 2:31 AM
>

> <<I mean, you CAN say, "We unschool except when we do school" but how
> much
> sense does that make?>>
>
> I never said that. "DO SCHOOL" to me means schedules, assignments, time
> slots, grades, and all that junk. I am more than justified calling
> myself an unschooler even though I occasionally (I don't know, once a
> week, twice a week?) ask my kids to fill out a math sheet whenever they
> feel like it. I may even say that I want them to do it before bedtime. Or
> lunchtime. or before they can get on the computer to play. My four year
> old is just learning to read, and he LOVES to do workbooks and 'read'
> with me. If I say "hey Kyson, come here with mom and do this sheet,
> okay?", I can't be an unschooler??? to me, that is a far cry from
> forced, scheduled work. They are not forced, not stressed.


If I said to you, "Do this before you can have lunch" is that forcing you?

Is the implication that they cannot have lunch, go to bed, or get on the
computer until the "work" you have assigned is completed? If you say, "Do
this before lunch" and they don't, what happens? I would assume you really
don't withhold food or bed (maybe the computer), so what happens? Is the
work waiting for the the next day? Are you disappointed in them? Do you try
to talk them into it?

There is nothing wrong with an unschooled child loving to do workbooks. I
adore word search puzzles. But when one gets assigned these things, it
becomes, well, an assignment. And where are we assigned learning? In school.
Ergo, schooling is not unschooling.

Deb said it better anyway (paraphrasing): it doesn't matter whether it's
assigning math or assigning cloud-watching.

Unschooling is about who has the power over their own learning. If I am
assigning, I have the power. If my daughters are assigning themselves, THEY
have the power. If your workbook-loving son came to you and said, "Hey Mom,
how about giving me some workbooks, I want to do that before lunch" that's
the polar opposite of you saying to him, "Do these before lunch".

Unschooling is about choices -- who has them and who makes them. It's also
about trust -- trust that a child will learn what he needs and wants to
learn when he needs and wants to learn it, not by anyone elses timetable,
just his own.

I know that not every family is cut out for unschooling. There's no shame in
that. There's nothing wrong with hanging out with unschoolers, either.

I'm not cut out for non-coercive parenting. I look at it and I think,
"That's cool. I wish I had the temperament for that". But I don't go around
calling myself an NCP parent, "except that I make them brush their teeth
twice a day". That "except" is everything.

Pam