rick and deborah farrington

erin i like what you said about choosing. its so very true. when we
change our attitude
about a certain thing it makes a big dif. just like prayer, if we pray
about something we've made a choice that we want a change we are
choosing to go a new direction and asking for help in doing it.
Deborah

Julie Solich

Today the kids had an old Hanna-Barbera video of the creation story on. Jacob made a comment about Adam blaming Eve for his choice to eat the forbidden fruit. It was clear to Jacob that it was Adam's choice and he had no-one but himself to blame.

It hasn't been easy to change the way I parent and I have a long way to go and much to learn but today I could see that the kids are learning that with freedom of choice comes taking responsibility for your own decisions.

In all the years I spanked I wanted my kids to take responsibility for their actions and what I was doing, was making it impossible for them to do just that.

At first I felt like talking with them just wasn't enough, but I see now that it is because each time I respond calmly and encourage them to talk things through instead of spanking them, they have the freedom (because I'm not making them feel bad) to look at themselves and their actions and be responsible. It's awesome.

It reminds me of that John Holt quote about fear inhibiting learning. How can our kids learn about themselves and getting along with others if they are fearful of pain everytime they make a mistake? It's only when they have freedom to make mistakes that they learn. All I have to do is be there to guide and help and love.

It's so simple and uncomplicated. I just wish I had realized 9 years ago. There wouldn't be so much to undo.

Julie



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In a message dated 6/20/03 12:01:42 AM Pacific Daylight Time,
mjsolich@... writes:

> It reminds me of that John Holt quote about fear inhibiting learning. How
> can our kids learn about themselves and getting along with others if they are
> fearful of pain everytime they make a mistake? It's only when they have
> freedom to make mistakes that they learn. All I have to do is be there to guide
> and help and love.
>
> It's so simple and uncomplicated. I just wish I had realized 9 years ago.
> There wouldn't be so much to undo.
>
> Julie
>

Wow, thanks for sharing Julie. It was very insightful for you to share that
about your journey. I think that the most important thing to remember as
adults, IMHO, is we too are still learning and learning should not ever be stiffled
by fear of pain, (emotional or physical) at any age.

Thanks again, I shall exercise some self-reflection today..

Rhonda


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