Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] Digest Number 1234
[email protected]
In a message dated 5/13/01 2:45:41 AM Mountain Daylight Time,
[email protected] writes:
<< Laura
My dd has been out of ps for 12 months now. Not once have I
regreted it. She is a totally different child. Every body who
knows her will agree with that.
Unschooling is the way to go. I have never doubted that. >>
Marianne,
How old is your dd? My 5 this wed. dd is now voicing that she wants to
go to school. I am so bummed. I am having nightmares. I always said if my
child wanted to go I would let s/he. I decided when I was very young I would
school through life,I had no idea there was even such a thing as
unschooling,honestly. School was so bad for me I knew what would be right.
Now what? I could cry thinking of it. I am afraid if she does attend she'll
come out a different child. Or what if K is fun and she decideds to keep
going and by say 8 wants out. Then I have 4 years to unravel.
This kid is so spirited and different I fear how it will go. She still
pretends to be a dog 1/2 the day and we have to call her Jenna the dog and
treat her as a dog. She still occaisionally makes dog faces at mean kids in
the playground. She really isn't an extrovert though the way she is w/ dh and
I you'd think she was. She clams up w/ other kids and adults. This is fine by
us and we understand her personality. I can see the first time she gets told
to not do something or corrected.she will be crushed. I am so concerned for
her self esteem. School ruined me along w/ my mother's controling I became
someone else to make it through.
I would love to go off on why she doesn't want to go but I feel that would
be brainwashing or coersive. What to do?
Any advice? NICKI~
[email protected] writes:
<< Laura
My dd has been out of ps for 12 months now. Not once have I
regreted it. She is a totally different child. Every body who
knows her will agree with that.
Unschooling is the way to go. I have never doubted that. >>
Marianne,
How old is your dd? My 5 this wed. dd is now voicing that she wants to
go to school. I am so bummed. I am having nightmares. I always said if my
child wanted to go I would let s/he. I decided when I was very young I would
school through life,I had no idea there was even such a thing as
unschooling,honestly. School was so bad for me I knew what would be right.
Now what? I could cry thinking of it. I am afraid if she does attend she'll
come out a different child. Or what if K is fun and she decideds to keep
going and by say 8 wants out. Then I have 4 years to unravel.
This kid is so spirited and different I fear how it will go. She still
pretends to be a dog 1/2 the day and we have to call her Jenna the dog and
treat her as a dog. She still occaisionally makes dog faces at mean kids in
the playground. She really isn't an extrovert though the way she is w/ dh and
I you'd think she was. She clams up w/ other kids and adults. This is fine by
us and we understand her personality. I can see the first time she gets told
to not do something or corrected.she will be crushed. I am so concerned for
her self esteem. School ruined me along w/ my mother's controling I became
someone else to make it through.
I would love to go off on why she doesn't want to go but I feel that would
be brainwashing or coersive. What to do?
Any advice? NICKI~
LisaBugg
> >would
>
> I would love to go off on why she doesn't want to go but I feel that
> be brainwashing or coersive. What to do?Everything you tell her about the world right now is brainwashing and
>
coercive. You can't give her the reasoning powers that she will eventually
mature into. You have to just state a whole world of facts as if they are a
given. We don't eat rat poison, we just DO NOT. We don't stick our hands
into the garbage disposal, and no one is going to stick a hand down there to
show you why. Something else maybe, but not a hand.
**I can see the first time she gets told
to not do something or corrected.she will be crushed. I am so concerned for
her self esteem..**
Parents are supposed to prevent these kind of crushing blows. It's
perfectly all right for you to tell her no until she's old enough to
understand and take measures to protect herself.
I, too, try very hard to include my children in almost all decisions. I,
too, have told them that if they ever want to try school we'll seriously
discuss the matter. But only after they are high school age would they have
the final say.
Never coercing anything is just as off balanced as always coercing
everything.
[email protected]
>wants to
>
> Marianne,
>
> How old is your dd? My 5 this wed. dd is now voicing that she
> go to school. I am so bummed. I am having nightmares.Nikki
My dd was 11yrs old when i removed her from school. She never did
like school and at 11yes old became very depressed and refused to
go. I did find out she was being bullied. But that was just the last
straw.
She loves her new independence. Doing what she wants and being
herself.
Marianne
kate mcdaniel
Nikki,
My oldest dd attended ps for her Kindergarten year. With the exception of
liking her teacher, the only other thing she seemed to mention constantly
was the child that was continually in trouble. I didn't send her to school
to focus on that. I don't remember there being a lot of fighting from her
when we decided to homeschool. It seemed that the only time the subject was
brought up was when she had been around ps children.
My second child I homeschooled for 1 year and because of other happenings, I
thought I would put him in ps. I, like you, had nightmares and uneasy
feelings about the whole situation. I should have listened to my
uneasiness. Six weeks into ps, "THEY' decided that my ds needed to be put
back into the 1st grade. Needless to say we pulled ds out of ps.
Unfortunately he still feels as if he "doesn't do well at ps". I say if you
can avoid any possible physcological damage, at any cost, do it. Your
daughter will soon realize that being with mommy at home is more enjoyable
than being with 30-40 kids at school.
You can do it!! Kate
On Tue, 15 May 2001 05:45:46 -0000, [email protected]
wrote:
Send a cool gift with your E-Card
http://www.bluemountain.com/giftcenter/
My oldest dd attended ps for her Kindergarten year. With the exception of
liking her teacher, the only other thing she seemed to mention constantly
was the child that was continually in trouble. I didn't send her to school
to focus on that. I don't remember there being a lot of fighting from her
when we decided to homeschool. It seemed that the only time the subject was
brought up was when she had been around ps children.
My second child I homeschooled for 1 year and because of other happenings, I
thought I would put him in ps. I, like you, had nightmares and uneasy
feelings about the whole situation. I should have listened to my
uneasiness. Six weeks into ps, "THEY' decided that my ds needed to be put
back into the 1st grade. Needless to say we pulled ds out of ps.
Unfortunately he still feels as if he "doesn't do well at ps". I say if you
can avoid any possible physcological damage, at any cost, do it. Your
daughter will soon realize that being with mommy at home is more enjoyable
than being with 30-40 kids at school.
You can do it!! Kate
On Tue, 15 May 2001 05:45:46 -0000, [email protected]
wrote:
>_______________________________________________________
> >
> >
> > Marianne,
> >
> > How old is your dd? My 5 this wed. dd is now voicing that she
> wants to
> > go to school. I am so bummed. I am having nightmares.
>
>
> Nikki
> My dd was 11yrs old when i removed her from school. She never did
> like school and at 11yes old became very depressed and refused to
> go. I did find out she was being bullied. But that was just the last
> straw.
> She loves her new independence. Doing what she wants and being
> herself.
>
> Marianne
>
>
Send a cool gift with your E-Card
http://www.bluemountain.com/giftcenter/
Eileen M.
We have 'mental muscles' that need a certain amount of
exercise, just like our physical muscles do, or they
will atrophy. Children need a certain amount of
stress, or their ability to deal with the natural
stresses of life as adults will atrophy. Our jobs as
parents is to make sure that their voices are heard in
the setting of reasonable boundaries, and that they do
not doubt our love and support while they are facing
the natural stressors of life (including bumping up
against those boundaries and getting frustrated with
them). If they do not experience a certain amount of
frustration, pain, and stress during their
childhood... the time in which you can model
identification of more painful/intense emotions,
stress-reducing, problem solving and empathy processes
for them so that they can learn how to effectively
deal with these inevitable experiences... they will be
left vulnerable and helpless when they leave home as
adults. It is painful for any loving parent to see
their child experience pain and even suffering, and
certainly we don't want our children to experience
more pain than they can
(developmentally/personality-wise) handle, but the
best favor we can do them is teaching them effective
skills for *handling* those experiences, not
protecting them from ever experiencing them at all!
Eileen
--- LisaBugg <LisaBugg@...> wrote:
Do You Yahoo!?
Yahoo! Auctions - buy the things you want at great prices
http://auctions.yahoo.com/
exercise, just like our physical muscles do, or they
will atrophy. Children need a certain amount of
stress, or their ability to deal with the natural
stresses of life as adults will atrophy. Our jobs as
parents is to make sure that their voices are heard in
the setting of reasonable boundaries, and that they do
not doubt our love and support while they are facing
the natural stressors of life (including bumping up
against those boundaries and getting frustrated with
them). If they do not experience a certain amount of
frustration, pain, and stress during their
childhood... the time in which you can model
identification of more painful/intense emotions,
stress-reducing, problem solving and empathy processes
for them so that they can learn how to effectively
deal with these inevitable experiences... they will be
left vulnerable and helpless when they leave home as
adults. It is painful for any loving parent to see
their child experience pain and even suffering, and
certainly we don't want our children to experience
more pain than they can
(developmentally/personality-wise) handle, but the
best favor we can do them is teaching them effective
skills for *handling* those experiences, not
protecting them from ever experiencing them at all!
Eileen
--- LisaBugg <LisaBugg@...> wrote:
> > >__________________________________________________
> >
> > I would love to go off on why she doesn't want
> to go but I feel that
> would
> > be brainwashing or coersive. What to do?
> >
>
> Everything you tell her about the world right now is
> brainwashing and
> coercive. You can't give her the reasoning powers
> that she will eventually
> mature into. You have to just state a whole world
> of facts as if they are a
> given. We don't eat rat poison, we just DO NOT. We
> don't stick our hands
> into the garbage disposal, and no one is going to
> stick a hand down there to
> show you why. Something else maybe, but not a hand.
>
> **I can see the first time she gets told
> to not do something or corrected.she will be
> crushed. I am so concerned for
> her self esteem..**
>
> Parents are supposed to prevent these kind of
> crushing blows. It's
> perfectly all right for you to tell her no until
> she's old enough to
> understand and take measures to protect herself.
>
> I, too, try very hard to include my children in
> almost all decisions. I,
> too, have told them that if they ever want to try
> school we'll seriously
> discuss the matter. But only after they are high
> school age would they have
> the final say.
>
> Never coercing anything is just as off balanced as
> always coercing
> everything.
>
>
>
Do You Yahoo!?
Yahoo! Auctions - buy the things you want at great prices
http://auctions.yahoo.com/
[email protected]
<snip>Unfortunately he still feels as if he "doesn't do well at ps".
<snip>
That is a concern that I have. One reason why I'd like to NOT let my
kids "try" school until they are confident in their ability to learn. It
is all to easy for kids in school to "learn" that they are not good at
reading, writing, or arithmetic.
Mary Ellen
In the huge rush to build shopping malls and banks,
no one is thinking about where kids can play.
That doesn't generate tax revenue.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
<snip>
That is a concern that I have. One reason why I'd like to NOT let my
kids "try" school until they are confident in their ability to learn. It
is all to easy for kids in school to "learn" that they are not good at
reading, writing, or arithmetic.
Mary Ellen
In the huge rush to build shopping malls and banks,
no one is thinking about where kids can play.
That doesn't generate tax revenue.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]