Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] Digest Number 1213
[email protected]
In a message dated 5/7/01 9:09:00 PM Mountain Daylight Time,
[email protected] writes:
<< Can *any* of you guarantee that you haven't done some
unknown violence or irreparable damage to your child's
future by any action or decision you have made? Would
you want a Majority to tell you that you have
ignorantly and callously played Russian Roulette with
your child's life? Would you feel comfortable in
saying that very thing to other people on this list
about the immunization, educational, religious,
sexual, tv/computer, Ritalin issues, among others?
Probably not. You are too vulnerable that way. BUT
you *are* comfortable in applying an inflexible,
simplistic and virtuous-sounding generality in judging
a small minority who are un-PC or independent enough
to see things differently than the Majority. You are
comfortable with applying that one-size-fits-all
measuring stick for 'violence' to all children and
families, no matter how different *their* experience
might be from your own.
Must be comfy.
every day. This is why I take such a stance. I know the pain personally and
the affects it has on my child. I smacked her on the butt once, we had had a
horrendous day and then she started kicking the dog. I was shocked at my
reaction and I cried all day b/c of my actions. She and I discussed what
happened and I apologized. I still agonize over my actions that day.
I don't think anyone is condemning you for your actions. I believe as a
non spanking person (other than that major mistake of mine) that I have a
problem w/ the idea that spanking as a form of regular discipline is fine. I
believe it is damaging. I am talking about parents who tell their children if
they don't cut it out that minute they are going to get a spanking. I was
shocked the day my SIL suggested I threaten my dd w/ a spanking it always
straightened her boys out, since they knew what one was. That I have a
difficulty with.
I do think there are positive means of discipline for all situations that
I have.
NICKI~
[email protected] writes:
<< Can *any* of you guarantee that you haven't done some
unknown violence or irreparable damage to your child's
future by any action or decision you have made? Would
you want a Majority to tell you that you have
ignorantly and callously played Russian Roulette with
your child's life? Would you feel comfortable in
saying that very thing to other people on this list
about the immunization, educational, religious,
sexual, tv/computer, Ritalin issues, among others?
Probably not. You are too vulnerable that way. BUT
you *are* comfortable in applying an inflexible,
simplistic and virtuous-sounding generality in judging
a small minority who are un-PC or independent enough
to see things differently than the Majority. You are
comfortable with applying that one-size-fits-all
measuring stick for 'violence' to all children and
families, no matter how different *their* experience
might be from your own.
Must be comfy.
>>No, I cannot say I haven't mentally harmed my child. I am torn by it
every day. This is why I take such a stance. I know the pain personally and
the affects it has on my child. I smacked her on the butt once, we had had a
horrendous day and then she started kicking the dog. I was shocked at my
reaction and I cried all day b/c of my actions. She and I discussed what
happened and I apologized. I still agonize over my actions that day.
I don't think anyone is condemning you for your actions. I believe as a
non spanking person (other than that major mistake of mine) that I have a
problem w/ the idea that spanking as a form of regular discipline is fine. I
believe it is damaging. I am talking about parents who tell their children if
they don't cut it out that minute they are going to get a spanking. I was
shocked the day my SIL suggested I threaten my dd w/ a spanking it always
straightened her boys out, since they knew what one was. That I have a
difficulty with.
I do think there are positive means of discipline for all situations that
I have.
NICKI~
Eileen M.
I am not being sarcastic or ironic at all when I say
that I am glad that you have been able to avoid ever
using smacking your child again after that one
incident, and that this has worked for you. I agree
that spanking is an ineffective at best and damaging
at worst form of regular discipline. I agree that it
is preferable to avoid *all* forms of violence in
dealing with your children, whenever possible. I also
have observed situations where I felt that parents had
no *better* choice than to use one form or another of
coersion or physical discipline... not that it was a
*good* thing, but that all options available were
undesirable to some degree, and that the least evil
had to be chosen.
I was not addressing every person who had posted from
an anti-spanking position here... there are people who
have had thoughtful and valid points here, who
expressed their opinions reasonably and
nonjudgmentally. But there were also people who very
specifically were condemning me, and also condemning
wholesale any parent who did not hold the poster's
opinion. Those were the people to whom I was
speaking.
--- RValvo7626@... wrote:
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that I am glad that you have been able to avoid ever
using smacking your child again after that one
incident, and that this has worked for you. I agree
that spanking is an ineffective at best and damaging
at worst form of regular discipline. I agree that it
is preferable to avoid *all* forms of violence in
dealing with your children, whenever possible. I also
have observed situations where I felt that parents had
no *better* choice than to use one form or another of
coersion or physical discipline... not that it was a
*good* thing, but that all options available were
undesirable to some degree, and that the least evil
had to be chosen.
I was not addressing every person who had posted from
an anti-spanking position here... there are people who
have had thoughtful and valid points here, who
expressed their opinions reasonably and
nonjudgmentally. But there were also people who very
specifically were condemning me, and also condemning
wholesale any parent who did not hold the poster's
opinion. Those were the people to whom I was
speaking.
--- RValvo7626@... wrote:
> No, I cannot say I haven't mentally harmed my__________________________________________________
> child. I am torn by it
> every day. This is why I take such a stance. I know
> the pain personally and
> the affects it has on my child. I smacked her on the
> butt once, we had had a
> horrendous day and then she started kicking the dog.
> I was shocked at my
> reaction and I cried all day b/c of my actions. She
> and I discussed what
> happened and I apologized. I still agonize over my
> actions that day.
>
> I don't think anyone is condemning you for your
> actions. I believe as a
> non spanking person (other than that major mistake
> of mine) that I have a
> problem w/ the idea that spanking as a form of
> regular discipline is fine. I
> believe it is damaging. I am talking about parents
> who tell their children if
> they don't cut it out that minute they are going to
> get a spanking. I was
> shocked the day my SIL suggested I threaten my dd w/
> a spanking it always
> straightened her boys out, since they knew what one
> was. That I have a
> difficulty with.
>
> I do think there are positive means of discipline
> for all situations that
> I have.
>
> NICKI~
>
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Yahoo! Auctions - buy the things you want at great prices
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