Kindergarten dilemma (very long, sorry)
[email protected]
Hello All,
I've been enjoying this list for months and have learned a great deal
from you all. My dilemma may seem odd to you -- it seems odd to me!
But I would love to have the feedback of this wise and experienced
group to a decision I'm currently facing over whether to send my
older daughter to kindergarten part-time next year.
Here's my situation: I've been committed to homeschooling my kids
(now 2 and 5) since the late '80's, before I even knew when or
whether or with whom I'd have them. I'm still committed to
homeschooling them, and unschooling is the way I'd like to go.
But . . . we live in a very small town (pop. about 700 in 100 square
miles) in northern California with a truly wonderful elementary
school. Four grades in two classrooms, K-1 and 2-3, with about 25
students altogether. (From 4th grade through high school kids are
bussed 1/2 hour to the next town.) We have no preschool or organized
childcare, so it's the first such experience for most of the
kindergartners. The kids have a beautiful meadow and a small grove of
redwood trees to run around in, in addition to swings, slides, ball
court, etc. There are two teachers, two part-time aides, and some
volunteers. The head teacher, an accomplished fiddler in her spare
time, has 27 years at this school and loves our quirky little
community (think "Northern Exposure" without the snow and you get a
good feel for our town), and it loves her. The kindergarten
curriculum is very play oriented, with lots of time for free play
with blocks, dress up, art, etc. They sing every day. The kids are
taught by word and deed to respect and be interested in and care for
one another. And they do. The school has the feeling of a loving
extended family.
In the ten years I've lived here, more than one person has used the
word "magical" to me in talking about their experience at this
school. More than one teenager or twentysomething has said, in
essence, "School is (was) horrible, but my kindergarten year with
Judy was wonderful and it gave me warm, fuzzy memories I'll treasure
my whole life." I've always known this school was pretty special, and
have joked that if anything could lure me away from homeschooling, it
would be this teacher. Now, having spent a day there with my daughter
last week, it's not a joke anymore!
This is probably the best chance my kids will ever have to experience
group life in a positive, nurturing setting. Girl Scouts, 4-H,
gymnastics lessons (all at least 1/2 hour away), camp, whatever, just
don't have the same continuity and intimacy that this school offers,
and there's no cohesive HS support group in our area. Our tiny town,
which I love, has a very strong identity and this school is a big
part of it, and I'd like my daughter to bond and develop some
friendships with the other kids her age in our community.
The school is very flexible and will let my daugher attend just three
days a week, for a total of 11 hours. (The teacher, knowing I planned
to homeschool, has been asking me hopefully since my daughter was two
whether she'd get to have her in her class.) WE could take time off
for travel anytime. My daughter seems ready and will be even more so
by fall. She already knows and likes at least half the kids who would
be in her K-1 class.
The experience she would have is exactly what I'd want for her for
kindergarten -- the chance to mix it up in a happy, supportive group
and learn something about herself in relation to other people, both
adults and children. "Socializing" in the most positive sense of the
word, if you will. Academically she'd learn a few things and have
some fun, but that's not really what I'm aiming for at this point in
her life. Since it's a mixed K-1 classroom, she's not likely to be
bored in the areas she's ahead in, and the kids all work at their own
pace anyway.
Apart from the fact that it's not what I had originally planned, at
this point I can't think of any reason not to send her. Even dh, who
is *very* anti-school (though he'd never heard of homeschooling till
he met me!), think it's a good idea. And this is where I'd like some
help -- am I missing something? Are there pitfalls I'm not aware of
or questions I should be asking myself (or someone else) that I'm
not? We would want only to do the kindergarten year. First grade very
possibly, but it would take up many more hours in the week, and I
also think that more than one or two years at school it would hold
her back intellectually. (Besides, I'd miss her too much!) The one
concern I have is that she may resist staying home for first grade
after having enjoyed kindergarten. (Though a well-timed month-long
trip that October may help her over that!)
If you're still reading, sorry I went on so long! But I wanted to
give as thorough a picture as possible of our situation. Any
thoughts, ideas, experiences, you can offer to help me make the right
decision would be very much appreciated. No flames, please, but I
welcome insights and discussion from all points of view.
Many thanks for your wisdom (and patience!)
Ashley Harvie
I've been enjoying this list for months and have learned a great deal
from you all. My dilemma may seem odd to you -- it seems odd to me!
But I would love to have the feedback of this wise and experienced
group to a decision I'm currently facing over whether to send my
older daughter to kindergarten part-time next year.
Here's my situation: I've been committed to homeschooling my kids
(now 2 and 5) since the late '80's, before I even knew when or
whether or with whom I'd have them. I'm still committed to
homeschooling them, and unschooling is the way I'd like to go.
But . . . we live in a very small town (pop. about 700 in 100 square
miles) in northern California with a truly wonderful elementary
school. Four grades in two classrooms, K-1 and 2-3, with about 25
students altogether. (From 4th grade through high school kids are
bussed 1/2 hour to the next town.) We have no preschool or organized
childcare, so it's the first such experience for most of the
kindergartners. The kids have a beautiful meadow and a small grove of
redwood trees to run around in, in addition to swings, slides, ball
court, etc. There are two teachers, two part-time aides, and some
volunteers. The head teacher, an accomplished fiddler in her spare
time, has 27 years at this school and loves our quirky little
community (think "Northern Exposure" without the snow and you get a
good feel for our town), and it loves her. The kindergarten
curriculum is very play oriented, with lots of time for free play
with blocks, dress up, art, etc. They sing every day. The kids are
taught by word and deed to respect and be interested in and care for
one another. And they do. The school has the feeling of a loving
extended family.
In the ten years I've lived here, more than one person has used the
word "magical" to me in talking about their experience at this
school. More than one teenager or twentysomething has said, in
essence, "School is (was) horrible, but my kindergarten year with
Judy was wonderful and it gave me warm, fuzzy memories I'll treasure
my whole life." I've always known this school was pretty special, and
have joked that if anything could lure me away from homeschooling, it
would be this teacher. Now, having spent a day there with my daughter
last week, it's not a joke anymore!
This is probably the best chance my kids will ever have to experience
group life in a positive, nurturing setting. Girl Scouts, 4-H,
gymnastics lessons (all at least 1/2 hour away), camp, whatever, just
don't have the same continuity and intimacy that this school offers,
and there's no cohesive HS support group in our area. Our tiny town,
which I love, has a very strong identity and this school is a big
part of it, and I'd like my daughter to bond and develop some
friendships with the other kids her age in our community.
The school is very flexible and will let my daugher attend just three
days a week, for a total of 11 hours. (The teacher, knowing I planned
to homeschool, has been asking me hopefully since my daughter was two
whether she'd get to have her in her class.) WE could take time off
for travel anytime. My daughter seems ready and will be even more so
by fall. She already knows and likes at least half the kids who would
be in her K-1 class.
The experience she would have is exactly what I'd want for her for
kindergarten -- the chance to mix it up in a happy, supportive group
and learn something about herself in relation to other people, both
adults and children. "Socializing" in the most positive sense of the
word, if you will. Academically she'd learn a few things and have
some fun, but that's not really what I'm aiming for at this point in
her life. Since it's a mixed K-1 classroom, she's not likely to be
bored in the areas she's ahead in, and the kids all work at their own
pace anyway.
Apart from the fact that it's not what I had originally planned, at
this point I can't think of any reason not to send her. Even dh, who
is *very* anti-school (though he'd never heard of homeschooling till
he met me!), think it's a good idea. And this is where I'd like some
help -- am I missing something? Are there pitfalls I'm not aware of
or questions I should be asking myself (or someone else) that I'm
not? We would want only to do the kindergarten year. First grade very
possibly, but it would take up many more hours in the week, and I
also think that more than one or two years at school it would hold
her back intellectually. (Besides, I'd miss her too much!) The one
concern I have is that she may resist staying home for first grade
after having enjoyed kindergarten. (Though a well-timed month-long
trip that October may help her over that!)
If you're still reading, sorry I went on so long! But I wanted to
give as thorough a picture as possible of our situation. Any
thoughts, ideas, experiences, you can offer to help me make the right
decision would be very much appreciated. No flames, please, but I
welcome insights and discussion from all points of view.
Many thanks for your wisdom (and patience!)
Ashley Harvie
Angela
Ashley,
I guess it just depends on what you want for your child. I personally find
any group that is fashioned similar to school too limiting. We had a home
school play group and even though all the mom's were there (and were quite
nice) and there were only 6 families, it ended up feeling like school. We
learned to wait in line, to listen to apologies when we got knocked down
(sometimes), to question why someone would do such and such, to feel left
out...... I could go on and on. Some people think children need to deal
with adversity as kids in order to learn to deal with it as an adult. I do
not agree with that.
I found that having a close friend or a few close friends is much more
rewarding than being aquaintances with a larger group of peers. It sounds
all warm and fuzzy, but will it really be all that? Is your child an
introvert or an extrovert? My own introverted children just do not enjoy
groups of people as well as they enjoy one on one playdates. One of my
daughters expressed that she wanted to go, ( I think it sounded appealing)
but she always looked lost and miserable while she was there. If you are
doing it because you think it is her only chance to have that warm fuzzy
feeling of caring and belonging to a group, I think your thoughts are as
misguided as mine were. (no offense intended) It is just that it sounds
better on the outside than it really is in real life.
I am sorry that I am unable to articulate what I am feeling. I wish I could
get my thoughts on to paper better.
Angela in Maine
Unschooling mom to two beautiful daughters.
www.geocities.com/autonomousangela
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
I guess it just depends on what you want for your child. I personally find
any group that is fashioned similar to school too limiting. We had a home
school play group and even though all the mom's were there (and were quite
nice) and there were only 6 families, it ended up feeling like school. We
learned to wait in line, to listen to apologies when we got knocked down
(sometimes), to question why someone would do such and such, to feel left
out...... I could go on and on. Some people think children need to deal
with adversity as kids in order to learn to deal with it as an adult. I do
not agree with that.
I found that having a close friend or a few close friends is much more
rewarding than being aquaintances with a larger group of peers. It sounds
all warm and fuzzy, but will it really be all that? Is your child an
introvert or an extrovert? My own introverted children just do not enjoy
groups of people as well as they enjoy one on one playdates. One of my
daughters expressed that she wanted to go, ( I think it sounded appealing)
but she always looked lost and miserable while she was there. If you are
doing it because you think it is her only chance to have that warm fuzzy
feeling of caring and belonging to a group, I think your thoughts are as
misguided as mine were. (no offense intended) It is just that it sounds
better on the outside than it really is in real life.
I am sorry that I am unable to articulate what I am feeling. I wish I could
get my thoughts on to paper better.
Angela in Maine
Unschooling mom to two beautiful daughters.
www.geocities.com/autonomousangela
boards, timely articles, a free newsletter and more!
Check it all out at: http://www.unschooling.com
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Another great list sponsored by Home Education Magazine!
http://www.home-ed-magazine.com
Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
--- In Unschooling-dotcom@y..., aharvie@m... wrote:
*Sounds like fun. Go with her - they do allow moms and dads to
help out, don't they. Go with her, and see everything. If EVERY day
is as wonderful as your one day there, and you feel it's a good place
for her, let her go. If/when your concience (or hers) tells you to
keep her home, don't make her go. Go with her as often as you can.
Have fun.
Melanie in Indiana
> Hello All,deal
>
> I've been enjoying this list for months and have learned a great
> from you all. My dilemma may seem odd to you -- it seems odd to me!<snip>
> But I would love to have the feedback of this wise and experienced
> group to a decision I'm currently facing over whether to send my
> older daughter to kindergarten part-time next year.
*Sounds like fun. Go with her - they do allow moms and dads to
help out, don't they. Go with her, and see everything. If EVERY day
is as wonderful as your one day there, and you feel it's a good place
for her, let her go. If/when your concience (or hers) tells you to
keep her home, don't make her go. Go with her as often as you can.
Have fun.
Melanie in Indiana
Dennis/Laurie Brown
>Just a guess...but I will about bet there are many who will disagree with
> Apart from the fact that it's not what I had originally planned, at
> this point I can't think of any reason not to send her.
what I'm about to say...
You have listed a lot of wonderful reason TO send your daughter to this
program. As I read your post, it occurs to me that about the only problem
you have with making that decision and feeling comfortable with it is that
it is labeled 'kindergarten' and 'public school'.
So, if it were me, I would remind myself that no one else knows my child or
my circumstances as well as I do and make the decision my family will be
most comfortable with. The rest of the crowd be hanged.
I am making a couple of assumptions here. One is that you are not required
to commit to 12 years of ps just because DD goes to ps kindergarten (I don't
think that's the case anywhere in the country, but you never know). And
that any extra hoops you may have to jump through to extricate your DD. from
the system after next year will be worth it to you. (In some cases it is
MUCH easier to start out as homeschoolers than to leave the ps system to
homeschool.)
I guess I do have one caution...it may be difficult for your DD to leave
behind her friends next year and return home to continue her education. If
it were me, I'd be sure to take steps to help her with that future
adjustment from the beginning. But that's me.
For what it's worth...go for it! Enjoy the rich environment your daughter
will be exposed to. Attend with her on a regular basis, if you can. Make
it a family affair. That may make it easier for DD to make the adjustment
to being back home after her kindergarten year and you'll know what's going
on because you are there with her.
I see no reason to reject a program that fits your lifestyle, needs and
desires.
Good luck either way!
Personal story so you have a little idea of where I'm coming from...our
youngest child has never attended ps. His birthday is late in the year, so
he missed the dates to attend kindergarten the same year his cousins started
school (4 of them born the same year and very close to each other).
He wanted to go and was very prepared by all the ps standards. I asked the
school if they would waive the birthday requirement and they would not even
entertain the idea. I was peeved at the time. In fact, it got really
interesting because my ds (youngest of the pack of 4 cousins) was the most
excited about the idea of school, was actually reading and had been doing
mental math for over a year at that time. OTOH the other cousins, who were
required to attend ps (by their parents...they are all aware of homeschool
options), hated going to school! Every one of the families had a struggle
getting the little darlings to cooperate and get to school on time and
behave themselves while they were there.
My DS and I? We have totally enjoyed homeschooling and never looked back.
He quickly lost any sense of missing out and there has been more than one
occasion where the cousins are obviously jealous because DS doesn't have to
do school all day every day. I would never have believed it at the time,
but the local district actually did me a favor by keeping us out of the
system at the only time I've ever been tempted to join their ranks.
That being said, I would never judge someone else for making a different
decision. IMO that's what homeschooling is about: keeping the options open
so families can make the decisions that are best for them. I just thought
you might like to know how it worked out for us.
Eiraul
Diana Tashjian
My .02 cents: do what feels right and good for you and her - you can always change your mind.
Diana Tashjian
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Diana Tashjian
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Jon and Rue Kream
Ok, just to play devil's advocate, here are some questions:
What if your child doesn't feel like singing everyday?
If you are looking for the feeling of a loving extended family, why not just
use your own?
You say you want her to have friendships with the kids her age in town, then
later say she already knows half the kids. Does she need to go to school to
meet the other half?
Why has this teacher wanted to get your daughter in her class so badly? Is
she opposed to home schooling?
Are you under the impression that all of the socialization that takes place
will be positive?
Do you feel confident that in being taught some academics she won't lose
some of her innate curiosity and desire to learn on her own?
Do you want to put your life on a school schedule?
Is your daughter comfortable having to ask someone's permission to use the
bathroom?
Are you and she comfortable with her having to eat on the school's schedule
instead of her own?
Are you and she comfortable with her having to sit down when she wants to
run, listen when she wants to sing, draw when she wants to jump, be inside
when she wants to be outside?
These are the first questions that came to mind for me. I agree with
whoever posted that if it feels right to your family, then it's right. I
also think that if I wasn't really sure, I wouldn't do it. Usually when I
doubt something, there's a good reason (even if I can't put my finger on
it). My daughter did go to kindergarten, I liked her teacher and spent 2
days a week in her classroom, and it did not feel right to us for the
reasons above and many others. For us it was a year wasted when we could
have been enjoying each other's company.
Obviously, this is just our experience. - Rue
-----Original Message-----
From: aharvie@... [mailto:aharvie@...]
Sent: Tuesday, May 08, 2001 2:22 AM
To: [email protected]
Subject: [Unschooling-dotcom] Kindergarten dilemma (very long, sorry)
Hello All,
I've been enjoying this list for months and have learned a great deal
from you all. My dilemma may seem odd to you -- it seems odd to me!
But I would love to have the feedback of this wise and experienced
group to a decision I'm currently facing over whether to send my
older daughter to kindergarten part-time next year.
Here's my situation: I've been committed to homeschooling my kids
(now 2 and 5) since the late '80's, before I even knew when or
whether or with whom I'd have them. I'm still committed to
homeschooling them, and unschooling is the way I'd like to go.
But . . . we live in a very small town (pop. about 700 in 100 square
miles) in northern California with a truly wonderful elementary
school. Four grades in two classrooms, K-1 and 2-3, with about 25
students altogether. (From 4th grade through high school kids are
bussed 1/2 hour to the next town.) We have no preschool or organized
childcare, so it's the first such experience for most of the
kindergartners. The kids have a beautiful meadow and a small grove of
redwood trees to run around in, in addition to swings, slides, ball
court, etc. There are two teachers, two part-time aides, and some
volunteers. The head teacher, an accomplished fiddler in her spare
time, has 27 years at this school and loves our quirky little
community (think "Northern Exposure" without the snow and you get a
good feel for our town), and it loves her. The kindergarten
curriculum is very play oriented, with lots of time for free play
with blocks, dress up, art, etc. They sing every day. The kids are
taught by word and deed to respect and be interested in and care for
one another. And they do. The school has the feeling of a loving
extended family.
In the ten years I've lived here, more than one person has used the
word "magical" to me in talking about their experience at this
school. More than one teenager or twentysomething has said, in
essence, "School is (was) horrible, but my kindergarten year with
Judy was wonderful and it gave me warm, fuzzy memories I'll treasure
my whole life." I've always known this school was pretty special, and
have joked that if anything could lure me away from homeschooling, it
would be this teacher. Now, having spent a day there with my daughter
last week, it's not a joke anymore!
This is probably the best chance my kids will ever have to experience
group life in a positive, nurturing setting. Girl Scouts, 4-H,
gymnastics lessons (all at least 1/2 hour away), camp, whatever, just
don't have the same continuity and intimacy that this school offers,
and there's no cohesive HS support group in our area. Our tiny town,
which I love, has a very strong identity and this school is a big
part of it, and I'd like my daughter to bond and develop some
friendships with the other kids her age in our community.
The school is very flexible and will let my daugher attend just three
days a week, for a total of 11 hours. (The teacher, knowing I planned
to homeschool, has been asking me hopefully since my daughter was two
whether she'd get to have her in her class.) WE could take time off
for travel anytime. My daughter seems ready and will be even more so
by fall. She already knows and likes at least half the kids who would
be in her K-1 class.
The experience she would have is exactly what I'd want for her for
kindergarten -- the chance to mix it up in a happy, supportive group
and learn something about herself in relation to other people, both
adults and children. "Socializing" in the most positive sense of the
word, if you will. Academically she'd learn a few things and have
some fun, but that's not really what I'm aiming for at this point in
her life. Since it's a mixed K-1 classroom, she's not likely to be
bored in the areas she's ahead in, and the kids all work at their own
pace anyway.
Apart from the fact that it's not what I had originally planned, at
this point I can't think of any reason not to send her. Even dh, who
is *very* anti-school (though he'd never heard of homeschooling till
he met me!), think it's a good idea. And this is where I'd like some
help -- am I missing something? Are there pitfalls I'm not aware of
or questions I should be asking myself (or someone else) that I'm
not? We would want only to do the kindergarten year. First grade very
possibly, but it would take up many more hours in the week, and I
also think that more than one or two years at school it would hold
her back intellectually. (Besides, I'd miss her too much!) The one
concern I have is that she may resist staying home for first grade
after having enjoyed kindergarten. (Though a well-timed month-long
trip that October may help her over that!)
If you're still reading, sorry I went on so long! But I wanted to
give as thorough a picture as possible of our situation. Any
thoughts, ideas, experiences, you can offer to help me make the right
decision would be very much appreciated. No flames, please, but I
welcome insights and discussion from all points of view.
Many thanks for your wisdom (and patience!)
Ashley Harvie
Message boards, timely articles, a free newsletter and more!
Check it all out at: http://www.unschooling.com
To unsubscribe, set preferences, or read archives:
http://www.egroups.com/group/Unschooling-dotcom
Another great list sponsored by Home Education Magazine!
http://www.home-ed-magazine.com
Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/
What if your child doesn't feel like singing everyday?
If you are looking for the feeling of a loving extended family, why not just
use your own?
You say you want her to have friendships with the kids her age in town, then
later say she already knows half the kids. Does she need to go to school to
meet the other half?
Why has this teacher wanted to get your daughter in her class so badly? Is
she opposed to home schooling?
Are you under the impression that all of the socialization that takes place
will be positive?
Do you feel confident that in being taught some academics she won't lose
some of her innate curiosity and desire to learn on her own?
Do you want to put your life on a school schedule?
Is your daughter comfortable having to ask someone's permission to use the
bathroom?
Are you and she comfortable with her having to eat on the school's schedule
instead of her own?
Are you and she comfortable with her having to sit down when she wants to
run, listen when she wants to sing, draw when she wants to jump, be inside
when she wants to be outside?
These are the first questions that came to mind for me. I agree with
whoever posted that if it feels right to your family, then it's right. I
also think that if I wasn't really sure, I wouldn't do it. Usually when I
doubt something, there's a good reason (even if I can't put my finger on
it). My daughter did go to kindergarten, I liked her teacher and spent 2
days a week in her classroom, and it did not feel right to us for the
reasons above and many others. For us it was a year wasted when we could
have been enjoying each other's company.
Obviously, this is just our experience. - Rue
-----Original Message-----
From: aharvie@... [mailto:aharvie@...]
Sent: Tuesday, May 08, 2001 2:22 AM
To: [email protected]
Subject: [Unschooling-dotcom] Kindergarten dilemma (very long, sorry)
Hello All,
I've been enjoying this list for months and have learned a great deal
from you all. My dilemma may seem odd to you -- it seems odd to me!
But I would love to have the feedback of this wise and experienced
group to a decision I'm currently facing over whether to send my
older daughter to kindergarten part-time next year.
Here's my situation: I've been committed to homeschooling my kids
(now 2 and 5) since the late '80's, before I even knew when or
whether or with whom I'd have them. I'm still committed to
homeschooling them, and unschooling is the way I'd like to go.
But . . . we live in a very small town (pop. about 700 in 100 square
miles) in northern California with a truly wonderful elementary
school. Four grades in two classrooms, K-1 and 2-3, with about 25
students altogether. (From 4th grade through high school kids are
bussed 1/2 hour to the next town.) We have no preschool or organized
childcare, so it's the first such experience for most of the
kindergartners. The kids have a beautiful meadow and a small grove of
redwood trees to run around in, in addition to swings, slides, ball
court, etc. There are two teachers, two part-time aides, and some
volunteers. The head teacher, an accomplished fiddler in her spare
time, has 27 years at this school and loves our quirky little
community (think "Northern Exposure" without the snow and you get a
good feel for our town), and it loves her. The kindergarten
curriculum is very play oriented, with lots of time for free play
with blocks, dress up, art, etc. They sing every day. The kids are
taught by word and deed to respect and be interested in and care for
one another. And they do. The school has the feeling of a loving
extended family.
In the ten years I've lived here, more than one person has used the
word "magical" to me in talking about their experience at this
school. More than one teenager or twentysomething has said, in
essence, "School is (was) horrible, but my kindergarten year with
Judy was wonderful and it gave me warm, fuzzy memories I'll treasure
my whole life." I've always known this school was pretty special, and
have joked that if anything could lure me away from homeschooling, it
would be this teacher. Now, having spent a day there with my daughter
last week, it's not a joke anymore!
This is probably the best chance my kids will ever have to experience
group life in a positive, nurturing setting. Girl Scouts, 4-H,
gymnastics lessons (all at least 1/2 hour away), camp, whatever, just
don't have the same continuity and intimacy that this school offers,
and there's no cohesive HS support group in our area. Our tiny town,
which I love, has a very strong identity and this school is a big
part of it, and I'd like my daughter to bond and develop some
friendships with the other kids her age in our community.
The school is very flexible and will let my daugher attend just three
days a week, for a total of 11 hours. (The teacher, knowing I planned
to homeschool, has been asking me hopefully since my daughter was two
whether she'd get to have her in her class.) WE could take time off
for travel anytime. My daughter seems ready and will be even more so
by fall. She already knows and likes at least half the kids who would
be in her K-1 class.
The experience she would have is exactly what I'd want for her for
kindergarten -- the chance to mix it up in a happy, supportive group
and learn something about herself in relation to other people, both
adults and children. "Socializing" in the most positive sense of the
word, if you will. Academically she'd learn a few things and have
some fun, but that's not really what I'm aiming for at this point in
her life. Since it's a mixed K-1 classroom, she's not likely to be
bored in the areas she's ahead in, and the kids all work at their own
pace anyway.
Apart from the fact that it's not what I had originally planned, at
this point I can't think of any reason not to send her. Even dh, who
is *very* anti-school (though he'd never heard of homeschooling till
he met me!), think it's a good idea. And this is where I'd like some
help -- am I missing something? Are there pitfalls I'm not aware of
or questions I should be asking myself (or someone else) that I'm
not? We would want only to do the kindergarten year. First grade very
possibly, but it would take up many more hours in the week, and I
also think that more than one or two years at school it would hold
her back intellectually. (Besides, I'd miss her too much!) The one
concern I have is that she may resist staying home for first grade
after having enjoyed kindergarten. (Though a well-timed month-long
trip that October may help her over that!)
If you're still reading, sorry I went on so long! But I wanted to
give as thorough a picture as possible of our situation. Any
thoughts, ideas, experiences, you can offer to help me make the right
decision would be very much appreciated. No flames, please, but I
welcome insights and discussion from all points of view.
Many thanks for your wisdom (and patience!)
Ashley Harvie
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Tanya
> or questions I should be asking myself (or someone else) that I'mHi,
> not? We would want only to do the kindergarten year. First grade very
> possibly, but it would take up many more hours in the week, and I
> also think that more than one or two years at school it would hold
> her back intellectually.
I have experienced that if you start them off in a school setting you have
a hard time getting them to unlearn the grade thing. My middle son went to
1/2 year of kindergarten & he now is 2nd grade age (this fall) & still
worries about what grade he's in. If you are going the unschooling route
this can be very confusing for them.
If she already knows & likes other children that would be in her class then
wouldn't she be able to continue with a relationship with them without going
to school?
I have 3 boys ages 3, 7 & 9. Their social interaction with children their
own age is the thing that is least important to their development. My
children interact with all ages of people much better than other children
who are in a formal school setting.
I imagine she still has to ask permission to go to the restroom.
Tanya
Lynda
Hello, Ashley. Can I ask where you live? We are in the redwood also but in
the "big" <g> city (26,000), Eureka for now.
Now, on to your question. You said there are lots of volunteers. If you
think the experience could be positive and it isn't a kiddy prison
(structure, structure and more structure, forced learning of specific items
at specific times/ages) and she enjoys it, why not. However, IMHO, if she
doesn't enjoy it and you should be prepared to pull her out as soon as she
shows, not necessarily verbalizes, that she isn't a happy camper.
The kidlets have choosen to "do" school type things over the years and if
they don't live up to their expectations, out the door they go. Not to say,
as has been hinted by some obnoxious family members (THE mil from h*ll <g>)
that they are quitters, simply that they made informed decisions. Which,
watching a 6 yo weigh in her own peculiar little way the pros and cons can
be a learning experience all in itself. (Sitting on floor next to her
dollhouse with dolls sitting on each floor and asking them questions which
she answers, then she asked then for a consensus, although I haven't the
foggiest how she knew to use that word).
Lynda
Lynda
the "big" <g> city (26,000), Eureka for now.
Now, on to your question. You said there are lots of volunteers. If you
think the experience could be positive and it isn't a kiddy prison
(structure, structure and more structure, forced learning of specific items
at specific times/ages) and she enjoys it, why not. However, IMHO, if she
doesn't enjoy it and you should be prepared to pull her out as soon as she
shows, not necessarily verbalizes, that she isn't a happy camper.
The kidlets have choosen to "do" school type things over the years and if
they don't live up to their expectations, out the door they go. Not to say,
as has been hinted by some obnoxious family members (THE mil from h*ll <g>)
that they are quitters, simply that they made informed decisions. Which,
watching a 6 yo weigh in her own peculiar little way the pros and cons can
be a learning experience all in itself. (Sitting on floor next to her
dollhouse with dolls sitting on each floor and asking them questions which
she answers, then she asked then for a consensus, although I haven't the
foggiest how she knew to use that word).
Lynda
Lynda
----- Original Message -----
From: <aharvie@...>
To: <[email protected]>
Sent: Monday, May 07, 2001 11:22 PM
Subject: [Unschooling-dotcom] Kindergarten dilemma (very long, sorry)
> Hello All,
>
> I've been enjoying this list for months and have learned a great deal
> from you all. My dilemma may seem odd to you -- it seems odd to me!
> But I would love to have the feedback of this wise and experienced
> group to a decision I'm currently facing over whether to send my
> older daughter to kindergarten part-time next year.
>
> Here's my situation: I've been committed to homeschooling my kids
> (now 2 and 5) since the late '80's, before I even knew when or
> whether or with whom I'd have them. I'm still committed to
> homeschooling them, and unschooling is the way I'd like to go.
> But . . . we live in a very small town (pop. about 700 in 100 square
> miles) in northern California with a truly wonderful elementary
> school. Four grades in two classrooms, K-1 and 2-3, with about 25
> students altogether. (From 4th grade through high school kids are
> bussed 1/2 hour to the next town.) We have no preschool or organized
> childcare, so it's the first such experience for most of the
> kindergartners. The kids have a beautiful meadow and a small grove of
> redwood trees to run around in, in addition to swings, slides, ball
> court, etc. There are two teachers, two part-time aides, and some
> volunteers. The head teacher, an accomplished fiddler in her spare
> time, has 27 years at this school and loves our quirky little
> community (think "Northern Exposure" without the snow and you get a
> good feel for our town), and it loves her. The kindergarten
> curriculum is very play oriented, with lots of time for free play
> with blocks, dress up, art, etc. They sing every day. The kids are
> taught by word and deed to respect and be interested in and care for
> one another. And they do. The school has the feeling of a loving
> extended family.
>
> In the ten years I've lived here, more than one person has used the
> word "magical" to me in talking about their experience at this
> school. More than one teenager or twentysomething has said, in
> essence, "School is (was) horrible, but my kindergarten year with
> Judy was wonderful and it gave me warm, fuzzy memories I'll treasure
> my whole life." I've always known this school was pretty special, and
> have joked that if anything could lure me away from homeschooling, it
> would be this teacher. Now, having spent a day there with my daughter
> last week, it's not a joke anymore!
>
> This is probably the best chance my kids will ever have to experience
> group life in a positive, nurturing setting. Girl Scouts, 4-H,
> gymnastics lessons (all at least 1/2 hour away), camp, whatever, just
> don't have the same continuity and intimacy that this school offers,
> and there's no cohesive HS support group in our area. Our tiny town,
> which I love, has a very strong identity and this school is a big
> part of it, and I'd like my daughter to bond and develop some
> friendships with the other kids her age in our community.
>
> The school is very flexible and will let my daugher attend just three
> days a week, for a total of 11 hours. (The teacher, knowing I planned
> to homeschool, has been asking me hopefully since my daughter was two
> whether she'd get to have her in her class.) WE could take time off
> for travel anytime. My daughter seems ready and will be even more so
> by fall. She already knows and likes at least half the kids who would
> be in her K-1 class.
>
> The experience she would have is exactly what I'd want for her for
> kindergarten -- the chance to mix it up in a happy, supportive group
> and learn something about herself in relation to other people, both
> adults and children. "Socializing" in the most positive sense of the
> word, if you will. Academically she'd learn a few things and have
> some fun, but that's not really what I'm aiming for at this point in
> her life. Since it's a mixed K-1 classroom, she's not likely to be
> bored in the areas she's ahead in, and the kids all work at their own
> pace anyway.
>
> Apart from the fact that it's not what I had originally planned, at
> this point I can't think of any reason not to send her. Even dh, who
> is *very* anti-school (though he'd never heard of homeschooling till
> he met me!), think it's a good idea. And this is where I'd like some
> help -- am I missing something? Are there pitfalls I'm not aware of
> or questions I should be asking myself (or someone else) that I'm
> not? We would want only to do the kindergarten year. First grade very
> possibly, but it would take up many more hours in the week, and I
> also think that more than one or two years at school it would hold
> her back intellectually. (Besides, I'd miss her too much!) The one
> concern I have is that she may resist staying home for first grade
> after having enjoyed kindergarten. (Though a well-timed month-long
> trip that October may help her over that!)
>
> If you're still reading, sorry I went on so long! But I wanted to
> give as thorough a picture as possible of our situation. Any
> thoughts, ideas, experiences, you can offer to help me make the right
> decision would be very much appreciated. No flames, please, but I
> welcome insights and discussion from all points of view.
>
> Many thanks for your wisdom (and patience!)
>
> Ashley Harvie
>
>
> Message boards, timely articles, a free newsletter and more!
> Check it all out at: http://www.unschooling.com
>
> To unsubscribe, set preferences, or read archives:
> http://www.egroups.com/group/Unschooling-dotcom
>
> Another great list sponsored by Home Education Magazine!
> http://www.home-ed-magazine.com
>
>
>
> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/
>
>
Eileen M.
It sounds to me like you are feeling conflict because
you *want* to send her, but feel it goes against a
valued and long held conviction... is that right?
My feeling is that first of all convictions are
intended to serve you, not the other way around... if
you are absolutely rigid in the application of them,
you and those around you can miss things you may
otherwise find to be wonderfully enriching, or you
could hurt yourself or others. Life, situations
change, and guidelines for living should have some
give so that they fit your situation... a conviction
that you should spend an hour naked outdoors in the
sun every day may work wonderfully in New Mexico...
and be rather less healthy during a winter in
Minnesota.
So. Your convictions re school was made long before
you ever knew about this kindergarten. If your child
wants to try it, and you think it may be good for her,
there is no reason to think of it in terms of
irrevocable decisions... you can always pull her out
again if she isn't happy. The point is to do whatever
*you* and *she* thinks will make her happy. Use that
as your guideline. IMO, of course.
Eileen
Do You Yahoo!?
Yahoo! Auctions - buy the things you want at great prices
http://auctions.yahoo.com/
you *want* to send her, but feel it goes against a
valued and long held conviction... is that right?
My feeling is that first of all convictions are
intended to serve you, not the other way around... if
you are absolutely rigid in the application of them,
you and those around you can miss things you may
otherwise find to be wonderfully enriching, or you
could hurt yourself or others. Life, situations
change, and guidelines for living should have some
give so that they fit your situation... a conviction
that you should spend an hour naked outdoors in the
sun every day may work wonderfully in New Mexico...
and be rather less healthy during a winter in
Minnesota.
So. Your convictions re school was made long before
you ever knew about this kindergarten. If your child
wants to try it, and you think it may be good for her,
there is no reason to think of it in terms of
irrevocable decisions... you can always pull her out
again if she isn't happy. The point is to do whatever
*you* and *she* thinks will make her happy. Use that
as your guideline. IMO, of course.
Eileen
> From: aharvie@... [mailto:aharvie@...]we live in a very small town (pop. about
> Sent: Tuesday, May 08, 2001 2:22 AM
> To: [email protected]
> Subject: [Unschooling-dotcom] Kindergarten dilemma
> (very long, sorry)
>
> 700 in 100 square__________________________________________________
> miles) in northern California with a truly wonderful
> elementary
> school. Four grades in two classrooms, K-1 and 2-3,
> with about 25
> students altogether. (From 4th grade through high
> school kids are
> bussed 1/2 hour to the next town.) We have no
> preschool or organized
> childcare, so it's the first such experience for
> most of the
> kindergartners. The kids have a beautiful meadow and
> a small grove of
> redwood trees to run around in, in addition to
> swings, slides, ball
> court, etc. There are two teachers, two part-time
> aides, and some
> volunteers.
Do You Yahoo!?
Yahoo! Auctions - buy the things you want at great prices
http://auctions.yahoo.com/
[email protected]
Ashley,
What are the possibilites of you going with her to kindergarten? I understand
your dilema and ultimately only your family can make the best decision for
you. If it were me, I would want to go and hang out with the class some. . .
maybe not all the time, but definitely on a consistent basis.
lovemary
If you wanna make the world a better place, take a look at yourself, and then
make a change.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
What are the possibilites of you going with her to kindergarten? I understand
your dilema and ultimately only your family can make the best decision for
you. If it were me, I would want to go and hang out with the class some. . .
maybe not all the time, but definitely on a consistent basis.
lovemary
If you wanna make the world a better place, take a look at yourself, and then
make a change.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
Hi Lynda,
Thanks for your thoughts. I would definitely pull her if she were
unhappy. The main reason I want to send her is that I think this
particular year at this particular school might help her blossom in
certain ways. If it's not a positive experience, though, then there
is no point.
BTW we are in Mendocino County.
Very cute story about the dolls and the "consensus"!. We were in the
car the other day and Willis (my 5 y.o.) was asking lots of questions
about how the world began and how did the first person get here and
what would happen if all the people died, and do ducks have ears, and
at one point as I was answering one of her questions, she said, "Mom,
another quesiton just popped into my head. If it's all right with
you, I'd like to move on now." I was glad it was dark and she
couldn't see my smile!
Again, thanks for your thoughts.
Ashley
Thanks for your thoughts. I would definitely pull her if she were
unhappy. The main reason I want to send her is that I think this
particular year at this particular school might help her blossom in
certain ways. If it's not a positive experience, though, then there
is no point.
BTW we are in Mendocino County.
Very cute story about the dolls and the "consensus"!. We were in the
car the other day and Willis (my 5 y.o.) was asking lots of questions
about how the world began and how did the first person get here and
what would happen if all the people died, and do ducks have ears, and
at one point as I was answering one of her questions, she said, "Mom,
another quesiton just popped into my head. If it's all right with
you, I'd like to move on now." I was glad it was dark and she
couldn't see my smile!
Again, thanks for your thoughts.
Ashley
--- In Unschooling-dotcom@y..., "Lynda" <lurine@s...> wrote:
> Hello, Ashley. Can I ask where you live? We are in the redwood
also but in
> the "big" <g> city (26,000), Eureka for now.
>
> watching a 6 yo weigh in her own peculiar little way the pros and
cons can
> be a learning experience all in itself. (Sitting on floor next to
her
> dollhouse with dolls sitting on each floor and asking them
questions which
> she answers, then she asked then for a consensus, although I
haven't the
> foggiest how she knew to use that word).
>
> Lynda
[email protected]
Hi Mary, The teacher welcomes parents in the classs. In fact, she was
telling me about another part-time homeschooler whose mom was there
all the time. The mom would not let the kid out of her sight and the
teacher thought it wasn't particularly healthy for the kid, but she
respected that it was the mom's choice and didn't interfere.
I was thinking I'd go one of the three days. I like working with kids
anyway, so would have fun volunteering.
Thanks for your thoughts, Ashley
telling me about another part-time homeschooler whose mom was there
all the time. The mom would not let the kid out of her sight and the
teacher thought it wasn't particularly healthy for the kid, but she
respected that it was the mom's choice and didn't interfere.
I was thinking I'd go one of the three days. I like working with kids
anyway, so would have fun volunteering.
Thanks for your thoughts, Ashley
--- In Unschooling-dotcom@y..., lite2yu@a... wrote:
> Ashley,
>
> What are the possibilites of you going with her to kindergarten? I
understand
> your dilema and ultimately only your family can make the best
decision for
> you. If it were me, I would want to go and hang out with the class
some. . .
> maybe not all the time, but definitely on a consistent basis.
>
> lovemary
> If you wanna make the world a better place, take a look at
yourself, and then
> make a change.
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Tracy Oldfield
Hi Lynda,
Thanks for your thoughts. I would definitely pull her
if she were
unhappy. The main reason I want to send her is that I
think this
particular year at this particular school might help
her blossom in
certain ways. If it's not a positive experience,
though, then there
is no point.
BTW we are in Mendocino County.
Very cute story about the dolls and the "consensus"!.
We were in the
car the other day and Willis (my 5 y.o.) was asking
lots of questions
about how the world began and how did the first person
get here and
what would happen if all the people died, and do ducks
have ears, and
at one point as I was answering one of her questions,
she said, "Mom,
another quesiton just popped into my head. If it's all
right with
you, I'd like to move on now." I was glad it was dark
and she
couldn't see my smile!
Again, thanks for your thoughts.
Ashley
My concern with this would be as someone else has
mentioned, the shedding of the grade-system, or taken
further, the deschooling needed if she were to leave,
cos it really doesn't matter how idyllic it is, it's
still a school. Even Summerhill's still a school
(though very different :-) ) The systems of appraisal,
whatever reward-system existed, the expectations to
conform... those things, unless absolutely compatible
with your own home-life would need to be unlearnt. And
I can also envisage that after such an idyllic start to
school she would be greatly disillusioned by the later
stages of school (vis the people who've told you how
awful the rest of their school career was) but still
find it difficult to shed those attributes which school
would instill.
I'm basically thinking 'why run the risk of needing to
deschool?' Why spend that time undoing what needn't be
done in the first place. I'm also thinking 'Where's
Sandra???'
Tracy
Thanks for your thoughts. I would definitely pull her
if she were
unhappy. The main reason I want to send her is that I
think this
particular year at this particular school might help
her blossom in
certain ways. If it's not a positive experience,
though, then there
is no point.
BTW we are in Mendocino County.
Very cute story about the dolls and the "consensus"!.
We were in the
car the other day and Willis (my 5 y.o.) was asking
lots of questions
about how the world began and how did the first person
get here and
what would happen if all the people died, and do ducks
have ears, and
at one point as I was answering one of her questions,
she said, "Mom,
another quesiton just popped into my head. If it's all
right with
you, I'd like to move on now." I was glad it was dark
and she
couldn't see my smile!
Again, thanks for your thoughts.
Ashley
My concern with this would be as someone else has
mentioned, the shedding of the grade-system, or taken
further, the deschooling needed if she were to leave,
cos it really doesn't matter how idyllic it is, it's
still a school. Even Summerhill's still a school
(though very different :-) ) The systems of appraisal,
whatever reward-system existed, the expectations to
conform... those things, unless absolutely compatible
with your own home-life would need to be unlearnt. And
I can also envisage that after such an idyllic start to
school she would be greatly disillusioned by the later
stages of school (vis the people who've told you how
awful the rest of their school career was) but still
find it difficult to shed those attributes which school
would instill.
I'm basically thinking 'why run the risk of needing to
deschool?' Why spend that time undoing what needn't be
done in the first place. I'm also thinking 'Where's
Sandra???'
Tracy
[email protected]
. I'm also thinking 'Where's
Marianne
> Sandra???'You can find Sandra at unschooling.com
>
> Tracy
Marianne
Nanci Kuykendall
>If you are looking for the feeling of a lovingYou said this all so well Rue, I just had to say,
>extended family, why not just use your own?
>Does she need to go to school to meet the other
>(kids)?
>Are you under the impression that all of the
>socialization that takes place will be positive?
>Do you feel confident that in being taught some
>academics she won't lose some of her innate curiosity
>and desire to learn on her own?
>Do you want to put your life on a school schedule?
>Is your daughter comfortable ........
>having to ask someone's >permission to use the
>bathroom?
>having to eat on >the school's schedule instead of
>her own?
>having to sit down when she wants to run, listen when
>she wants to sing, draw when she wants to jump, be
>inside when she wants to be outside?
>I agree with whoever posted that if it feels right to
>your family, then it's right. I also think that if I
>wasn't really sure, I wouldn't do it. - Rue
DITTO!
I also have a suggestion, if you think the school is
so wonderful. Why not volunteer? You and your
daughter together. You could volunteer one or two
days a week for a few hours, or whatever seemed
comfortable, and help the schooled kids learn about
what YOUR days are like. Bring fun projects to do
with them, etc. If the teacher is so wonderful and
flexible, would she allow this?
Nanci K.
__________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
Yahoo! Auctions - buy the things you want at great prices
http://auctions.yahoo.com/
Johanna
I love it! There is a difference betwwen being a "quitter" and beating a dead horse. Sometimes it is wisdom to know when to quit.
Johanna
Life is the ultimate learning experience!
Johanna
Life is the ultimate learning experience!
----- Original Message -----
From: Lynda
To: [email protected]
Sent: Tuesday, May 08, 2001 12:21 PM
Subject: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] Kindergarten dilemma (very long, sorry)
Hello, Ashley. Can I ask where you live? We are in the redwood also but in
the "big" <g> city (26,000), Eureka for now.
Now, on to your question. You said there are lots of volunteers. If you
think the experience could be positive and it isn't a kiddy prison
(structure, structure and more structure, forced learning of specific items
at specific times/ages) and she enjoys it, why not. However, IMHO, if she
doesn't enjoy it and you should be prepared to pull her out as soon as she
shows, not necessarily verbalizes, that she isn't a happy camper.
The kidlets have choosen to "do" school type things over the years and if
they don't live up to their expectations, out the door they go. Not to say,
as has been hinted by some obnoxious family members (THE mil from h*ll <g>)
that they are quitters, simply that they made informed decisions. Which,
watching a 6 yo weigh in her own peculiar little way the pros and cons can
be a learning experience all in itself. (Sitting on floor next to her
dollhouse with dolls sitting on each floor and asking them questions which
she answers, then she asked then for a consensus, although I haven't the
foggiest how she knew to use that word).
Lynda
Lynda
----- Original Message -----
From: <aharvie@...>
To: <[email protected]>
Sent: Monday, May 07, 2001 11:22 PM
Subject: [Unschooling-dotcom] Kindergarten dilemma (very long, sorry)
> Hello All,
>
> I've been enjoying this list for months and have learned a great deal
> from you all. My dilemma may seem odd to you -- it seems odd to me!
> But I would love to have the feedback of this wise and experienced
> group to a decision I'm currently facing over whether to send my
> older daughter to kindergarten part-time next year.
>
> Here's my situation: I've been committed to homeschooling my kids
> (now 2 and 5) since the late '80's, before I even knew when or
> whether or with whom I'd have them. I'm still committed to
> homeschooling them, and unschooling is the way I'd like to go.
> But . . . we live in a very small town (pop. about 700 in 100 square
> miles) in northern California with a truly wonderful elementary
> school. Four grades in two classrooms, K-1 and 2-3, with about 25
> students altogether. (From 4th grade through high school kids are
> bussed 1/2 hour to the next town.) We have no preschool or organized
> childcare, so it's the first such experience for most of the
> kindergartners. The kids have a beautiful meadow and a small grove of
> redwood trees to run around in, in addition to swings, slides, ball
> court, etc. There are two teachers, two part-time aides, and some
> volunteers. The head teacher, an accomplished fiddler in her spare
> time, has 27 years at this school and loves our quirky little
> community (think "Northern Exposure" without the snow and you get a
> good feel for our town), and it loves her. The kindergarten
> curriculum is very play oriented, with lots of time for free play
> with blocks, dress up, art, etc. They sing every day. The kids are
> taught by word and deed to respect and be interested in and care for
> one another. And they do. The school has the feeling of a loving
> extended family.
>
> In the ten years I've lived here, more than one person has used the
> word "magical" to me in talking about their experience at this
> school. More than one teenager or twentysomething has said, in
> essence, "School is (was) horrible, but my kindergarten year with
> Judy was wonderful and it gave me warm, fuzzy memories I'll treasure
> my whole life." I've always known this school was pretty special, and
> have joked that if anything could lure me away from homeschooling, it
> would be this teacher. Now, having spent a day there with my daughter
> last week, it's not a joke anymore!
>
> This is probably the best chance my kids will ever have to experience
> group life in a positive, nurturing setting. Girl Scouts, 4-H,
> gymnastics lessons (all at least 1/2 hour away), camp, whatever, just
> don't have the same continuity and intimacy that this school offers,
> and there's no cohesive HS support group in our area. Our tiny town,
> which I love, has a very strong identity and this school is a big
> part of it, and I'd like my daughter to bond and develop some
> friendships with the other kids her age in our community.
>
> The school is very flexible and will let my daugher attend just three
> days a week, for a total of 11 hours. (The teacher, knowing I planned
> to homeschool, has been asking me hopefully since my daughter was two
> whether she'd get to have her in her class.) WE could take time off
> for travel anytime. My daughter seems ready and will be even more so
> by fall. She already knows and likes at least half the kids who would
> be in her K-1 class.
>
> The experience she would have is exactly what I'd want for her for
> kindergarten -- the chance to mix it up in a happy, supportive group
> and learn something about herself in relation to other people, both
> adults and children. "Socializing" in the most positive sense of the
> word, if you will. Academically she'd learn a few things and have
> some fun, but that's not really what I'm aiming for at this point in
> her life. Since it's a mixed K-1 classroom, she's not likely to be
> bored in the areas she's ahead in, and the kids all work at their own
> pace anyway.
>
> Apart from the fact that it's not what I had originally planned, at
> this point I can't think of any reason not to send her. Even dh, who
> is *very* anti-school (though he'd never heard of homeschooling till
> he met me!), think it's a good idea. And this is where I'd like some
> help -- am I missing something? Are there pitfalls I'm not aware of
> or questions I should be asking myself (or someone else) that I'm
> not? We would want only to do the kindergarten year. First grade very
> possibly, but it would take up many more hours in the week, and I
> also think that more than one or two years at school it would hold
> her back intellectually. (Besides, I'd miss her too much!) The one
> concern I have is that she may resist staying home for first grade
> after having enjoyed kindergarten. (Though a well-timed month-long
> trip that October may help her over that!)
>
> If you're still reading, sorry I went on so long! But I wanted to
> give as thorough a picture as possible of our situation. Any
> thoughts, ideas, experiences, you can offer to help me make the right
> decision would be very much appreciated. No flames, please, but I
> welcome insights and discussion from all points of view.
>
> Many thanks for your wisdom (and patience!)
>
> Ashley Harvie
>
>
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>
>
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>
>
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Johanna
Didn't Sandra say something about being away for a few weeks?
Johanna
Life is the ultimate learning experience!
Johanna
Life is the ultimate learning experience!
----- Original Message -----
From: Tracy Oldfield
To: [email protected]
Sent: Tuesday, May 08, 2001 8:34 PM
Subject: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] Re: Kindergarten dilemma (very long, sorry)
Hi Lynda,
Thanks for your thoughts. I would definitely pull her
if she were
unhappy. The main reason I want to send her is that I
think this
particular year at this particular school might help
her blossom in
certain ways. If it's not a positive experience,
though, then there
is no point.
BTW we are in Mendocino County.
Very cute story about the dolls and the "consensus"!.
We were in the
car the other day and Willis (my 5 y.o.) was asking
lots of questions
about how the world began and how did the first person
get here and
what would happen if all the people died, and do ducks
have ears, and
at one point as I was answering one of her questions,
she said, "Mom,
another quesiton just popped into my head. If it's all
right with
you, I'd like to move on now." I was glad it was dark
and she
couldn't see my smile!
Again, thanks for your thoughts.
Ashley
My concern with this would be as someone else has
mentioned, the shedding of the grade-system, or taken
further, the deschooling needed if she were to leave,
cos it really doesn't matter how idyllic it is, it's
still a school. Even Summerhill's still a school
(though very different :-) ) The systems of appraisal,
whatever reward-system existed, the expectations to
conform... those things, unless absolutely compatible
with your own home-life would need to be unlearnt. And
I can also envisage that after such an idyllic start to
school she would be greatly disillusioned by the later
stages of school (vis the people who've told you how
awful the rest of their school career was) but still
find it difficult to shed those attributes which school
would instill.
I'm basically thinking 'why run the risk of needing to
deschool?' Why spend that time undoing what needn't be
done in the first place. I'm also thinking 'Where's
Sandra???'
Tracy
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Angela
I am sorry this is so late. I don't know what is going on with my computer
or server but I sent this on Tues. and it is just making it to the list.
What is up with that?
Angela in Maine
Unschooling mom to two beautiful daughters.
www.geocities.com/autonomousangela
-----Original Message-----
From: Angela [mailto:unschooling@...]
Sent: Tuesday, May 08, 2001 8:18 AM
To: [email protected]
Subject: RE: [Unschooling-dotcom] Kindergarten dilemma (very long, sorry)
Ashley,
I guess it just depends on what you want for your child. I personally find
any group that is fashioned similar to school too limiting. We had a home
school play group and even though all the mom's were there (and were quite
nice) and there were only 6 families, it ended up feeling like school. We
learned to wait in line, to listen to apologies when we got knocked down
(sometimes), to question why someone would do such and such, to feel left
out...... I could go on and on. Some people think children need to deal
with adversity as kids in order to learn to deal with it as an adult. I
do
not agree with that.
I found that having a close friend or a few close friends is much more
rewarding than being aquaintances with a larger group of peers. It sounds
all warm and fuzzy, but will it really be all that? Is your child an
introvert or an extrovert? My own introverted children just do not enjoy
groups of people as well as they enjoy one on one playdates. One of my
daughters expressed that she wanted to go, ( I think it sounded appealing)
but she always looked lost and miserable while she was there. If you are
doing it because you think it is her only chance to have that warm fuzzy
feeling of caring and belonging to a group, I think your thoughts are as
misguided as mine were. (no offense intended) It is just that it sounds
better on the outside than it really is in real life.
I am sorry that I am unable to articulate what I am feeling. I wish I
could
get my thoughts on to paper better.
Angela in Maine
Unschooling mom to two beautiful daughters.
www.geocities.com/autonomousangela
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
or server but I sent this on Tues. and it is just making it to the list.
What is up with that?
Angela in Maine
Unschooling mom to two beautiful daughters.
www.geocities.com/autonomousangela
-----Original Message-----
From: Angela [mailto:unschooling@...]
Sent: Tuesday, May 08, 2001 8:18 AM
To: [email protected]
Subject: RE: [Unschooling-dotcom] Kindergarten dilemma (very long, sorry)
Ashley,
I guess it just depends on what you want for your child. I personally find
any group that is fashioned similar to school too limiting. We had a home
school play group and even though all the mom's were there (and were quite
nice) and there were only 6 families, it ended up feeling like school. We
learned to wait in line, to listen to apologies when we got knocked down
(sometimes), to question why someone would do such and such, to feel left
out...... I could go on and on. Some people think children need to deal
with adversity as kids in order to learn to deal with it as an adult. I
do
not agree with that.
I found that having a close friend or a few close friends is much more
rewarding than being aquaintances with a larger group of peers. It sounds
all warm and fuzzy, but will it really be all that? Is your child an
introvert or an extrovert? My own introverted children just do not enjoy
groups of people as well as they enjoy one on one playdates. One of my
daughters expressed that she wanted to go, ( I think it sounded appealing)
but she always looked lost and miserable while she was there. If you are
doing it because you think it is her only chance to have that warm fuzzy
feeling of caring and belonging to a group, I think your thoughts are as
misguided as mine were. (no offense intended) It is just that it sounds
better on the outside than it really is in real life.
I am sorry that I am unable to articulate what I am feeling. I wish I
could
get my thoughts on to paper better.
Angela in Maine
Unschooling mom to two beautiful daughters.
www.geocities.com/autonomousangela
boards, timely articles, a free newsletter and more!
Check it all out at: http://www.unschooling.com
To unsubscribe, set preferences, or read archives:
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Another great list sponsored by Home Education Magazine!
http://www.home-ed-magazine.com
Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Yahoo! Groups Sponsor
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Vaughnde Edwards
actually I think you articulated well...Naomi is an introvert as well and has a hard time making a bunch of friends whereas I'm outgoing and I make friends easily...trying to keep in touch is another matter however <G>. She has 3 friends at this time that I know of...that she likes to keep close touch with...Tasha (short for Natasha), Kristen and Colette. She does have friends at the church...namely the pastors daughter, Anne. But Anne's cousins who are twins and around the same age can be mean to Naomi and she has gotten to the point where she just doesn't want to associate with them at all or gets her feelings hurt easily. I'm praying and trying to help her find ways where she can associate with the group without getting hurt or as the case may be lately getting angry enough to walk off in a huff.
Vaughnde Edwards
Missoula, Montana
Praise the Lord, He is Risen Indeed!!
-----Original Message-----
From: Angela <unschooling@...>
To: [email protected] <[email protected]>
Date: Thursday, May 10, 2001 11:16 PM
Subject: RE: [Unschooling-dotcom] Kindergarten dilemma (very long, sorry)
Ashley,
I guess it just depends on what you want for your child. I personally find
any group that is fashioned similar to school too limiting. We had a home
school play group and even though all the mom's were there (and were quite
nice) and there were only 6 families, it ended up feeling like school. We
learned to wait in line, to listen to apologies when we got knocked down
(sometimes), to question why someone would do such and such, to feel left
out...... I could go on and on. Some people think children need to deal
with adversity as kids in order to learn to deal with it as an adult. I do
not agree with that.
I found that having a close friend or a few close friends is much more
rewarding than being aquaintances with a larger group of peers. It sounds
all warm and fuzzy, but will it really be all that? Is your child an
introvert or an extrovert? My own introverted children just do not enjoy
groups of people as well as they enjoy one on one playdates. One of my
daughters expressed that she wanted to go, ( I think it sounded appealing)
but she always looked lost and miserable while she was there. If you are
doing it because you think it is her only chance to have that warm fuzzy
feeling of caring and belonging to a group, I think your thoughts are as
misguided as mine were. (no offense intended) It is just that it sounds
better on the outside than it really is in real life.
I am sorry that I am unable to articulate what I am feeling. I wish I could
get my thoughts on to paper better.
Angela in Maine
Unschooling mom to two beautiful daughters.
www.geocities.com/autonomousangela
boards, timely articles, a free newsletter and more!
Check it all out at: http://www.unschooling.com
To unsubscribe, set preferences, or read archives:
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Another great list sponsored by Home Education Magazine!
http://www.home-ed-magazine.com
Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Yahoo! Groups Sponsor
Message boards, timely articles, a free newsletter and more!
Check it all out at: http://www.unschooling.com
To unsubscribe, set preferences, or read archives:
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Another great list sponsored by Home Education Magazine!
http://www.home-ed-magazine.com
Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Vaughnde Edwards
Missoula, Montana
Praise the Lord, He is Risen Indeed!!
-----Original Message-----
From: Angela <unschooling@...>
To: [email protected] <[email protected]>
Date: Thursday, May 10, 2001 11:16 PM
Subject: RE: [Unschooling-dotcom] Kindergarten dilemma (very long, sorry)
Ashley,
I guess it just depends on what you want for your child. I personally find
any group that is fashioned similar to school too limiting. We had a home
school play group and even though all the mom's were there (and were quite
nice) and there were only 6 families, it ended up feeling like school. We
learned to wait in line, to listen to apologies when we got knocked down
(sometimes), to question why someone would do such and such, to feel left
out...... I could go on and on. Some people think children need to deal
with adversity as kids in order to learn to deal with it as an adult. I do
not agree with that.
I found that having a close friend or a few close friends is much more
rewarding than being aquaintances with a larger group of peers. It sounds
all warm and fuzzy, but will it really be all that? Is your child an
introvert or an extrovert? My own introverted children just do not enjoy
groups of people as well as they enjoy one on one playdates. One of my
daughters expressed that she wanted to go, ( I think it sounded appealing)
but she always looked lost and miserable while she was there. If you are
doing it because you think it is her only chance to have that warm fuzzy
feeling of caring and belonging to a group, I think your thoughts are as
misguided as mine were. (no offense intended) It is just that it sounds
better on the outside than it really is in real life.
I am sorry that I am unable to articulate what I am feeling. I wish I could
get my thoughts on to paper better.
Angela in Maine
Unschooling mom to two beautiful daughters.
www.geocities.com/autonomousangela
boards, timely articles, a free newsletter and more!
Check it all out at: http://www.unschooling.com
To unsubscribe, set preferences, or read archives:
http://www.egroups.com/group/Unschooling-dotcom
Another great list sponsored by Home Education Magazine!
http://www.home-ed-magazine.com
Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Yahoo! Groups Sponsor
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Check it all out at: http://www.unschooling.com
To unsubscribe, set preferences, or read archives:
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http://www.home-ed-magazine.com
Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]