Thomas and Nanci Kuykendall

>I just love what you said here!! My oldest son (Tim is 10) is ADHD...and
>also considered 'gifted' (the public school labeled him gifted, not I). I
>see him as an incredibly intelligent young man bursting with energy!!

while people with ADHD cannot help that they
>have the disorder, they CAN be taught how to cope with it!!
>
>~~Karen

Karen, and anyone else with experience with kids with ADD an ADHD
diagnoses: We are finally done with our Homestudy and our Case Worker has
advised us that we should begin networking through whatever resources that
we have to assist her in our search for a child. I wanted to put a
question to you about some of the kids that we have seen in the listings.
We are looking to adopt a girl from foster care between the ages of 3 and
9, and we have seen a LOT of ADD or ADHD labeled kids who are being
"medicated" for that. What are some opinions about the probability of many
of these children having been misdiagnosed, medicated without need,
possibly having emotional issues stemming from foster care or previous
problems that "look" like ADD symptoms, etc.?? How difficult is it to take
a child off medication? How would you assess the true nature of a child's
condition, abilities and needs when they are already on medication? How do
you approach this issue in a way that is healthy and non-threatening to the
child?

We have to be careful about what we do also, as this child will not be
considered "ours" until the adoption is finalized (possibly up to a year
after they enter our family) and social workers could attempt to block the
process if they think we are not doing what is in the "best interests of
the child." We have to make a decision about which children to persue
based on limited information that is available to the Case Worker, which
may include an ADD diagnosis and the presence of medication. We can meet a
child, talk with Foster Families, etc, but not without investing time and
money in traveling to the child's state/area, so we want to be fairly
certain of the likelihood of a child being a good match for us before that
point.

Should I avoid children who are being medicated as a matter of course?
Would the situation be too sticky to embroil ourselves in if there is
psychological drugs present? Anyone have any info to share? Anyone also
have any leads or suggestions of areas/agencies for us to check into for kids?

Nanci K. in Idaho

Andi Kaufman

nanci,

please foward any info you get. we are in exactly the same position. we
have been looking for a child for at least 6 mo probably more and the
system is so screwed up. but i have researched everything and i am not
looking inot the ADD issues.

Andi...domestic goddess and active volunteer
mom to Isaac
tl2b@...

Never Underestimate the Power of This Woman!

tiffany thiele

Hi Nanci,
I just read your e-mail and I just thought you needed a word or two of encouragement and support. (And an hug too!) My son Nick sounds a lot like your son Thomas.  Nick is 5.5 years old and has extreme sensetivities to sound, touch, textures, smell...and it impacts our life in so many ways. One of the biggest ways that effects our family is that his hypersensitivity causes him to have many more meltdowns than the average child his age. I have no pearls of wisdom about how to handle your son when he tantrums except to say that I too have been where you are at and the best advice I can give you is this time will pass and better moments lay ahead.  What I find helps me in those very trying moments is to try to grasp (this can be very difficult at times!) where your son is coming from.  Was his day really stressful and stimulating, was he feeling unwell, did his sheets itch him...and so on.  A book that has really helped us is the Out of Sync Child by Carol Kranowitz.  If you haven't read it, it is really a great book for kids like ours.  Another great resource has been the Sensory Integration e-group on One List.  I have found many great insights and comfort in reading snippets from other people's lives.  Knowing that I am not the only one experiencing a child that responds like mine has been very helpful. 
 
Wishing you a peaceful day tomorrow!
Tiffany
Olympia, Washington