Karen

Yesterday was one of those days where I felt like we had a "good" unschooling day. And it didn't require a special field trip or special materials...

Emily had been running a fever for a couple of days, so we were going to take her to the doctor in the morning (we were suspecting a sinus infection). But before we left, I remembered I had even forgotten to check her forehead... she felt cooler... took her temp and it was 98.,8. She felt fine, so we canceled the appt. and decided we'd go to piano lessons instead (we had had to cancel those for the dr. visit). I wasn't able to reach her piano teacher before we left, so I left a message and forwarded calls to the cell phone in case she called back. We hopped into the already warmed up car and made a stop at the post office on the way. Usually, we drop Emily off for her hour-long lesson, while the other kids and I drive around or go shopping. Since we were about 15-20 minutes late this time, we decided we'd all stay. Emily was very excited to show Miss Kate a new song she was composing (her teacher really encourages her composition). Instead of a formal lesson, they spent the next 30 minutes or so transcribing Emily's music on staff paper.

After lessons, the kids were asking for French fries from McDonald's. I told Emily how much cash I had on me and she figured up whether I had enough to get some for everyone (not before asking if I could just use my credit card... LOL). We came home and ate our fries, then she set to work cleaning her room and putting away her clean laundry. At one point she came down and said, "I've been listening to 'NSYNC while I'm working and do you know on one song they say the word 'love' 37 times??"

The baby had been napping, but after he woke up and nursed, we went upstairs to finish helping Emily with her room. We sorted out some clothes that were getting too small, and talked about a friend who was having a labor induction yesterday. Talked about pitocin, oxytocin, contractions... Em was trying on a shirt to see if it was too small and remarked that she thought she would need a bra within a year... I told her she might be right.

Once her room was done, she came downstairs and watched some Animal Planet... waiting for her friend across the street (also homeschooled, but not unschooled) to finish school so she could come over. I had some new software I got from UnbeatableDeals.com and called her in to see it. We set up Mavis Beacon teaches typing and she did a few lessons, stopping after she had learned the home row and the letters "e" and "i". Her avg. speed was 11WPM. Then she gave Gizmos and Gadgets a try for a while, until her dad got home from work. Her friend showed up just as we were getting ready to go out to dinner, so we invited her along. Ate at Golden Corral buffet, where the kids got to make their own choices and all did a good job of choosing.

I realize I haven't mentioned the 5yo and 2yo much... they spent most of the day playing different things.. puzzles, a matching game, etc. They watched some tv, we read books together. The 5yo noticed some dry skin where he had gotten a sunburn last week during our warm spell. So we talked about why his skin was peeling there.

That's about it... no earth-shattering observations, no special trips or deep mysteries of life solved... just a rather boringly normal day, but still a learning day.

Karen
Mama to Emily (12/91), Noah (12/95), Halle (10/98), and Joel (9/00)
http://www.geocities.com/heartland/2358
mailto:careermom@...

[email protected]

In a message dated 04/18/2001 12:26:18 PM !!!First Boot!!!,
careermom@... writes:


That's about it... no earth-shattering observations, no special trips or
deep mysteries of life solved... just a rather boringly normal day, but
still a learning day.

Karen


Sounds perfect!

Nance

Juli

I love days like this. I woke up late today and found
the kids playing their Egyptian empire computer game,
which I've mentioned here before because they're
currently obsessed with it. I said, "Hey, you guys
didn't wake me up!" Erik shouted in a really intense
voice, "I'm in the middle of a major civil war here,
Mama!" He's still trying to control the uprising now.
:) Juli

--- Karen <careermom@...> wrote:
> Yesterday was one of those days where I felt like we
> had a "good" unschooling day. And it didn't require
> a special field trip or special materials...
>


=====
You cannot teach a man anything; you can only help him to find it within himself --Galileo

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In a message dated 4/18/2001 7:26:26 AM Central Daylight Time,
careermom@... writes:

<< no earth-shattering observations, no special trips or deep mysteries of
life solved... just a rather boringly normal day, but still a learning day. >>

I think these types of days are the best. With spring in the air here my boys
have been outside about nonstop. And who can blame them. They have been
hammering and sawing and I am always surprised with what they come up with.
Seems like there are always projects going on here. And I know there is
learning going on too.
Sounds like you and your children had a wonderful day.
Candy

walton tribe

Hi, have a quick question...
my boys love to hammer, nail, etc. all sorts of things, but I have GREAT
difficulty in getting them to clean up for the day when they are done. My
husband gets very frustrated seeing his tools out, or the backyard in
dissarray. My 11 year old is constantly making bows and arrows out of
branches, building on the fort, etc. but he won't clean up. Any
suggustions. I don't want to dissuade him from using his creativity to
build, etc, but I do want to keep peace in the family. Any help
appreciated, thanks

Annette, in Indiana


They have been
> hammering and sawing and I am always surprised with what they come up
with.
> Seems like there are always projects going on here. And I know there is
> learning going on too.

[email protected]

I only have one at home these days. She looks after her own room,
tidies up the bathroom after she has used it, and generally cleans up
her mess. I do the rest. However when the mood takes dd will clean
the house and do the washing etc. I appreciate these days because I
know she did it becuse SHE wanted to. When i had 4 at home they each
had their own little job -= keeping their room tidy. Dishes -
getting the milk - setting the table - clearing the table.
What do we do all day? For the past month or so my dd has been on
*Work experience* with her father...... They both love this.

Marianne

Juli

Well, I would tell them that if they didn't treat the
tools with respect, then they couldn't use them next
time. That if they're going to treat the good tools
like throwaway plastic toy tools, then they'd have to
USE throwaway plastic toy tools. Kids need to learn to
care for their possessions, value them. There's so
much plastic junk out there that they may not be
realizing the difference between your husband's tools
and the latest happy meal toy. In our family, we had
this problem with books. The kids had to learn to
respect the books. We did this by making them pay
their own library book repair fees, and not buying new
books if they destroyed the old ones, but letting them
keep the repaired ones. They were not only leaving
books on the floor to get stepped on, but also
bringing books into the bathtub, out in the yard, etc.
Now they take better care of books. Mostly. :) Juli

--- walton tribe <walton@...> wrote:
> Hi, have a quick question...
> my boys love to hammer, nail, etc. all sorts of
> things, but I have GREAT
> difficulty in getting them to clean up for the day
> when they are done. My
> husband gets very frustrated seeing his tools out,
> or the backyard in
> dissarray. My 11 year old is constantly making bows
> and arrows out of
> branches, building on the fort, etc. but he won't
> clean up. Any
> suggustions. I don't want to dissuade him from using
> his creativity to
> build, etc, but I do want to keep peace in the
> family. Any help
> appreciated, thanks
>
> Annette, in Indiana
>
>
> They have been
> > hammering and sawing and I am always surprised
> with what they come up
> with.
> > Seems like there are always projects going on
> here. And I know there is
> > learning going on too.
>
>
>


=====
You cannot teach a man anything; you can only help him to find it within himself --Galileo

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Vaughnde Edwards

Ask them to help build a place for each tool, like maybe a carry box that they can put all the tools in when done and even if not in the house, they can put it in the garage or fort prior to coming inside the house. As to the mess in the backyard, remind hubby that creativity flows everywhere and when the kids get tired of tripping over their messes they will clean up...or if its time for dad to mow the lawn, they can go out and clean up their messes or watch their messes get chewed up by the lawnmower and pay for the new lawnmower blades if they get broken. We had to go out about an hour ahead of dad if he said today is lawn mowing day...ack! I remember we hadda sorta rush around putting all our stuff on the back patio and that included cleaning up dog poop! lol
 
Vaughnde Lee
Missoula, Montana
http://www.stampinbookworm.eboard.com
-----Original Message-----
From: walton tribe <walton@...>
To: [email protected] <[email protected]>
Date: Wednesday, April 18, 2001 1:31 PM
Subject: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] our day yesterday

Hi, have a quick question...
my boys love to hammer, nail, etc. all sorts of things, but I have GREAT
difficulty in getting them to clean up for the day when they are done.  My
husband gets very frustrated seeing his tools out, or the backyard in
dissarray.  My 11 year old is constantly making bows and arrows out of
branches, building on the fort, etc. but he won't clean up.  Any
suggustions. I don't want to dissuade him from using his creativity to
build, etc, but I do want to keep peace in the family.  Any help
appreciated, thanks

Annette, in Indiana


They have been
> hammering and sawing and I am always surprised with what they come up
with.
> Seems like there are always projects going on here. And I know there is
> learning going on too.




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Sarah

Nanci Kuykendall wrote:
I agree with whoever said that they should not have
the priveledge of using the items in question if they
do not care for them, and particularly if they are not
theirs.
Or a parent could use the tools *with* the child, and demonstrate how to put them away.  Oftentimes children are not shown how to care for something.  They are just told to put them away.  Maybe the parent and child could do an experiment with a less expensive tool...they could watch what happens to it when it rains, is left to the dogs, is run over by a car, etc.  Parent and child could talk a lot about the benefits of caring for belongings.  They could do an experiment with another tool.  They could see what happens when it is taken really good care of.  They could clean it every time it is used, wrap it in a soft cloth, and put it in a special shoe box in a safe corner of the garage or a bedroom.  Parent and child could talk about the difference in the tools.
Another idea would be to get them their own
set and let them abuse it.
That's a great idea!
If they ruin or lose them,
do not replace them.  If they complain, remind them
that THEY decided not to care for their things.
Sometimes, I lose something or leave it in the rain, and it makes me sad.  I feel foolish when I forget something like this.  I still go buy a new one if I need it.  I remind myself to care for the next one.  If a child loses something valuable to them, I think it shows a lot of respect to help them recover the item.  Maybe searching at garage sales, thrift stores, etc.
My four year old is often incredibly ostinate.  When
he has dumped his toys all over the floor and refuses
to pick them up, we remove every toy he will not pick
up to time out for a while (1 day, 2, or more).  We
tell him that if he cannot care for them, he does not
need to have them.
Sometimes it takes me a couple days to put all my craft supplies away, but I would be incredibly annoyed if my husband chose to put them in time out for a few days.  I might even forget about the project, and in so doing, lose out on a great lesson.  Could the child have  a space (their room, a spot in the basement, a converted closet, etc.) where they are free to treat their *own* belongings in a way that is appropriate for them?  They can leave their toys out, play with them, return to find them right where they left them.  They might find that they like it when they clean it themselves, or they might find it suits them to have one spot that is their own to keep messy.
He used to have the kids' book
collection in his room, but whenever he got mad, he
would sweep clear the shelves into a big pile and
refuse to pick them up later.  I warned him that he
would lose the books, and they have been happily
residing in his brother's room for some time now.
I have a love of books, too.  I like it when they are respected.  I think if my child was showing this type of anger or sadness, I would offer a pillow to kick, an animal to throw, an old plate to smash safely, etc.
Nanci K.
In peace,

Sarah Anderson-Thimmes

Nanci Kuykendall

>>Or a parent could use the tools *with* the child,
and >demonstrate how to put them away. Oftentimes
>>children are not shown how to care for something.
>>They are just told to put them away.

I was under the impression that the children KNEW how
to put the things away and were just being
forgetful/negligent about it. I could have been
mistaken, and if that is the case, then yes, by all
means, showing the children how to put things away if
an elementray first step.

>>If they ruin or lose them,
>>do not replace them. If they complain, remind them
>>that THEY decided not to care for their things.

>Sometimes, I lose something or leave it in the rain,
>and it makes me sad. ...........If a child loses
>something valuable to them, I think it shows a lot of
>respect to help them recover the item. Maybe
>searching at garage sales, thrift stores, etc.

Yes I would tend to agree, but it depends on the
child, their attitude, and the situation.

>>My four year old is often incredibly obstinate.
When
>>he has dumped his toys all over the floor and
refuses
>>to pick them up, we remove every toy he will not
pick
>>up to time out for a while (1 day, 2, or more).

>Sometimes it takes me a couple days to put all my
>craft supplies away, but I would be incredibly
>annoyed if my husband chose to put them in time out
>for a few days. I might even forget about the
>project, and in
>so doing, lose out on a great lesson. Could the
>child have a space (their room, a spot in the
>basement, a converted closet, etc.) where they are
>free to treat their *own* belongings in a way that is
>appropriate for them?

These are not projects, I let my kids keep train sets,
block castles, blanket forts, and other things of that
nature up for days on end. My older son, Thomas, does
not get involved in elaborate, multi-stage projects
though. The train sets and other constructions are
usually his little brother's. Thomas often spends
time involved talking to and with his toys in
imaginary scenarios, but these are very portable. He
is hyperactive and lacks even the patience to do a
simple board puzzle. It is something we are working
on. Thomas is extremely intelligent and articulate,
but high strung, emotional and hyper.

What I was referring to is that when he is looking for
an item, in a toy chest or bin, he usually
dumps/empties the entire contents onto the floor to
find the one or two items he is interested in, and
then walks away and leaves the pile. Some days he
will do this with almost every container in his room,
creating a huge chaos of people and animal figures,
vehicles, gadgets, blocks, beanies and bric-a-brac.

We leave it for while to see if he shows any interest
in picking up, but these are not piles that he plays
with. He retrieves what he wants and is done with
them. We gently remind, we ask, we show, we offer to
help. Often we have to take his chin and reiterate
several times while he is watching us speak, what it
is that he is expected to do, in clear simple terms.
We line his bins up on the floor, one for people, one
for animals, etc, with pictures on the front to show
what goes in each. We ask him to "Pick up all the
animals please" and we assist some and help get him
back on track when he strays from task (which is
often).

However his response to this is occassionally to fall
onto the floor and scream "uh-uh!! No!" When no
amount of coaxing or insisting will get him involved
(we do not threaten or bribe) then we are forced to
take other actions to save the floor, our sanity,
prevent injury and prevent destruction of all the
toys. We warm him what will happen if we have to pick
them up ourselves, when he has made the mess. Some
days he just does not care. In those cases, we pick
up for him, but the toys go into time out for a while.

We have elimated clutter by organizing his toys, taken
out extra messy items to his non-hyper brother's room,
and made his room as simple as possible in terms of
cleaning/mess/stimulation. He has six small bins (two
sets of three pull out drawers), one small table top
bin with coloring books and puzzles, one medium bin
with a lid for beanies, one small toy chest for
miscellaneous larger items, a toy castle and pirate
ship, a large magnadoodle, and a couple of other
items. That is all that is in his room aside from his
bed, and a play table with two chairs and a few things
on the upper closet shelf.

>>He used to have the kids' book
>>collection in his room, but whenever he got mad, he
>>would sweep clear the shelves into a big pile and
>>refuse to pick them up later

>I think if my >child was showing this type of anger
or sadness, I >would offer a pillow to kick, an animal
to throw, an >old plate to smash safely, etc.

Thank you for your concern, but we have been to family
therapy, play therapy and parenting classes. He has a
number of options that are allowed for expressing his
anger/frustration, and is encouraged to use his very
extensive vocabulary to explain his feelings. The
dumping of the books was engineered to garner a
satifyingly (to him) reaction from mom and dad, who do
not like books mishandled, no matter how we try to
remain calm about it. Removing them to his brother's
room has solved that problem.

Nanci K.


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