DiamondAir

> From: Bobbie <insomniaaks@...>
> less than a week?? try ONE day! My theory is people
> with houses/rooms that are clean alllll the time must
> clean 3 times a day and never LIVE in the house, and
> keep the kids in cages somewhere.


Hmmm... we have a nice clean house and our kids definitely live and learn in
it all day long! As I speak, DS is building a pirate fort in the living room
and DD is scattering crayons to kingdom come.
I used to think that too - that people couldn't possibly interact with
their kids and have a clean house (confessions of a former un-housekeeper,
mess-a-holic :-). My husband is a very neat and tidy guy and over the years
has showed me how to keep a clean house most of the time. Sure, the kids'
toys are still out sometimes, but we have little routines that keep it all
in order. Anyone going upstairs carries toys or clean laundry and puts it
away, anyone coming downstairs brings dirty laundry, or anything else that
needs to come down. Before we get anything new out, we clean up the old mess
(unless it is going to be used later - the pirate fort will probably stay up
for awhile, but the crayons will get picked up before we go on to anything
else). In the evening, we have a little picking up routine so that the house
is in order when we wake up in the morning. Any given room usually takes
less than 5 minutes to straighten out. In the morning, I clean the kitchen
up while the kids eat breakfast, and straighten up the bathroom after
everyone's all washed up. The kids take their dishes to the sink and hang up
their towels and such.
I must confess that I love having the house so organized and I really
don't miss doing the panic drill if someone is coming over to visit :-). My
mom was like that when I was a kid and I just hated it! That and the
marathon house or room-cleaning sessions because everything had gotten in
such a terrible state, or the fact that we could never find anything we were
looking for. I remember my mom trying to bribe me into keeping my room
clean, at the same time that the rest of the house was always a total mess
(we only ate dinner on the dining room table during holidays, the rest of
the time it was a repository). She never taught me by example the skills
necessary to just *keep* a clean house.


> But maybe that's not
> how all kids are. Mine are though.


Kids learn from example. If you're not a tidy housekeeper, they won't learn
the skills either. I'm not saying this is necessarily true for you, but it
might be one reason they're "not that way". I was never great at picking up
my room (as my folks like to remind me, it was pretty much a trash heap),
but now I'm good at it, it's a learned attribute. Kids that live in a house
where people cheerfully put in the daily work to keep it neat also learn
those skills. Now whether or not they take root for awhile might depend more
on personality and such, but without the example the skills never have a
chance. I have to say I am convinced that in the long run it takes far less
time and effort to keep a house clean than to clean it after it has gotten
fairly messy and dirty.


> I figure as long as it's not dangerous and/or
> unsanitary then I'm not going to waste my energy
> picking up allll day long everyday. What a grouch I'd
> be! :)


Honestly, I used to hate housework too but now I love it. I don't know
how/why/when I made the switch. Maybe just from having a clean house and
wanting to keep it that way. I now find I'm way grouchier in a cluttered
room (like my office is right now, LOL!) than I am in a clean one. Choosing
to make housework a joy was somewhat of a conscious choice for me. And the
more joyous about it I am, the more fun my kids have with it. We make
everything a game and they actually beg (!!!!) to scrub toilets or floors.


I'm not saying anyone should or must change or even that it's better to have
a clean rather than a cluttery place. Just sharing my own journey. But if
anyone is interested in a great system for learning how to joyfully keep a
clean house, I'd recommend http://www.FlyLady.net . I'm trying to get my mom
to do this as every time we visit her, we have to spend 5 minutes cleaning
off the table before we can eat on it, and 10 minutes cleaning the kitchen
before we can cook, and, and, and..... And then there's my grandma. She's
got tons of boxes scattered around her house filled with all kinds of just
stuff. The boxes are marked "DSA" (for "Do Something About") and some are
dated from 30 or 40 years ago. :-)



Blue Skies!
-Robin-
Mom to Mackenzie (8/28/96) "My pants are outgrowing me"
and Asa (10/5/99) "Potty pee! Potty pee! Potty pee!"
http://www.geocities.com/the_clevengers Flying Clevenger Family

[email protected]

In a message dated 4/10/01 9:42:28 AM, diamondair@... writes:

<< Kids learn from example. If you're not a tidy housekeeper, they won't learn
the skills either. >>

One of the coolest stories from the separated twins study was grown men who
both were meticulous and kept house the very same way, arranged their desks
and closets the same way, etc.

When asked why they were that way, one said it's because his mom was neat and
taught him to be that way. The other said it was in reaction to his mother's
sloppiness.

Obviously neither could be right, as they were the same as adults although
they came from different backgrounds (nurture) but same background
(genetic/nature).

I have packrattishness from both sides of the family. I have it, but my
sister doesn't. When she wants something kept longterm, she gives it to ME!
And says "Keep this for me!" <g> (Hey, lots of my friends to too...)

Sandra

[email protected]

<<One of the coolest stories from the separated twins study was grown men
who
both were meticulous and kept house the very same way, arranged their
desks
and closets the same way, etc. >>

These studies sure have set some long held notions on their ear.

My mom was organized to the hilt and while I enjoy the "idea" of being
this way it's often missed. Before my kids entered the picture my house
was a study in chaos to perfection. If I didn't have the time to keep it
absolutely perfect it stayed in a state of decline. Then I would clean
until it was ready for the cameras from Better Homes & Gardens.

I've learned a new skill now. I'm able to keep it "sanitary" and fairly
organized. I've had to override my instincts and settle for "better"
instead of "perfect". It makes me a more fun mom and THAT had to be the
priority.

Kris
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caroline

Dear Robin,

You go girl! You read my mind.
Caroline from LA


>Hmmm... we have a nice clean house and our kids
definitely live and learn in
it all day long! As I speak, DS is building a pirate
fort in the living room
and DD is scattering crayons to kingdom come.
I used to think that too - that people couldn't
possibly interact with
their kids and have a clean house.
>I have to say I am convinced that in the long run it
takes far less
time and effort to keep a house clean than to clean it
after it has gotten
fairly messy and dirty.

=====
Caroline in LA

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Karen

> >Hmmm... we have a nice clean house and our kids
> definitely live and learn in
> it all day long! As I speak, DS is building a pirate
> fort in the living room
> and DD is scattering crayons to kingdom come.
> I used to think that too - that people couldn't
> possibly interact with
> their kids and have a clean house.
> >I have to say I am convinced that in the long run it
> takes far less
> time and effort to keep a house clean than to clean it
> after it has gotten
> fairly messy and dirty.

I have been working FlyLady's routines too.... but with 4 kids home all day it is much harder to keep a clean house for me. No sooner do I clean something than it has been undone. It is probably the most frustrating thing for me about being with my kids 24/7.

Karen
Mama to Emily (12/91), Noah (12/95), Halle (10/98), and Joel (9/00)
http://www.geocities.com/heartland/2358
mailto:careermom@...

Elizabeth Hill

>I've learned a new skill now. I'm able to keep it "sanitary" and fairly
>organized. I've had to override my instincts and settle for "better"
>instead of "perfect".

Around here we say "Perfect is the enemy of Done."

Betsy

Johanna

Try keeping seven kids accountable for their messes! My pet peeve is "i didn't use it" or "well, it's not mine so I'm not putting it away". Some days are better than others.
Johanna
"Education is not the filling of a bucket but the lighting of a fire"
William Butler Yeats
----- Original Message -----
From: Karen
Sent: Tuesday, April 10, 2001 2:56 PM
Subject: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] Housekeeping, was Re: Here's a good one

> >Hmmm... we have a nice clean house and our kids
> definitely live and learn in
> it all day long! As I speak, DS is building a pirate
> fort in the living room
> and DD is scattering crayons to kingdom come.
> I used to think that too  - that people couldn't
> possibly interact with
> their kids and have a clean house.
> >I have to say I am convinced that in the long run it
> takes far less
> time and effort to keep a house clean than to clean it
> after it has gotten
> fairly messy and dirty.

I have been working FlyLady's routines too.... but with 4 kids home all day it is much harder to keep a clean house for me.  No sooner do I clean something than it has been undone.  It is probably the most frustrating thing for me about being with my kids 24/7.

Karen
Mama to Emily (12/91), Noah (12/95), Halle (10/98), and Joel (9/00)
http://www.geocities.com/heartland/2358
mailto:careermom@...



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[email protected]

--- In Unschooling-dotcom@y..., "Johanna" <saninocencio1@c...> wrote:
> Try keeping seven kids accountable for their messes! My pet peeve
is "i didn't use it" or "well, it's not mine so I'm not putting it
away".



Do you by any chance have a lodger called *Mr Nobody*. Because if
you do, it seems he does all the naughty things. He used to live at
our house!

Marianne
.

Nancy from MI

"Mr. Nobody" gets around --- he's made many stops here, just
yesterday, in fact!

~Nancy

--- In Unschooling-dotcom@y..., tonitoni@z... wrote:
> --- In Unschooling-dotcom@y..., "Johanna" <saninocencio1@c...>
wrote:
> > Try keeping seven kids accountable for their messes! My pet peeve
> is "i didn't use it" or "well, it's not mine so I'm not putting it
> away".
>
>
>
> Do you by any chance have a lodger called *Mr Nobody*. Because if
> you do, it seems he does all the naughty things. He used to live at
> our house!
>
> Marianne
> .

Tracy Oldfield

Do you by any chance have a lodger called *Mr Nobody*.
Because if 
you do, it seems he does all the naughty things. He
used to live at 
our house!

Marianne
.


UGH! My mum keeps talking about Mr Nobody!
Arrggghhhhh! I never use the word 'naughty' either but
that's come from Granny's... And the other day dh gave
an example of a grotty job... tidying their room! And
I wonder where the attitude coems from...

Tracy

[email protected]

>
>
.! I never use the word 'naughty' either but
> that's come from Granny's.

Hmmm. I come into the *grannie* catogry.......

Marianne

Johanna

We have Ida Know and Not me who love here.
Johanna
"Education is not the filling of a bucket but the lighting of a fire"
William Butler Yeats
----- Original Message -----
Sent: Wednesday, April 11, 2001 12:09 AM
Subject: [Unschooling-dotcom] Housekeeping, was Re: Here's a good one

--- In Unschooling-dotcom@y..., "Johanna" <saninocencio1@c...> wrote:
> Try keeping seven kids accountable for their messes! My pet peeve
is "i didn't use it" or "well, it's not mine so I'm not putting it
away".



Do you by any chance have a lodger called *Mr Nobody*.  Because if
you do, it seems he does all the naughty things.  He used to live at
our house!

Marianne
.



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Lynda

Well, when you live in a house that is VERY old, it creaks and makes all kinds of noises.  The kidlets have decided that we have various ghosts, so "Martha" (the one they named) gets blamed for everything!
 
Lynda
----- Original Message -----
From: Johanna
Sent: Wednesday, April 11, 2001 11:52 AM
Subject: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] Housekeeping, was Re: Here's a good one

We have Ida Know and Not me who love here.
Johanna
"Education is not the filling of a bucket but the lighting of a fire"
William Butler Yeats
----- Original Message -----
Sent: Wednesday, April 11, 2001 12:09 AM
Subject: [Unschooling-dotcom] Housekeeping, was Re: Here's a good one

--- In Unschooling-dotcom@y..., "Johanna" <saninocencio1@c...> wrote:
> Try keeping seven kids accountable for their messes! My pet peeve
is "i didn't use it" or "well, it's not mine so I'm not putting it
away".



Do you by any chance have a lodger called *Mr Nobody*.  Because if
you do, it seems he does all the naughty things.  He used to live at
our house!

Marianne
.



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[email protected]

<<Around here we say "Perfect is the enemy of Done."

Betsy>>

Oh Betsy!! Thank you. This one is getting framed and hung right next to
the calendar.

Kris
________________________________________________________________
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[email protected]

--- In Unschooling-dotcom@y..., "Lynda" <lurine@s...> wrote:
> Well, when you live in a house that is VERY old, it creaks and
makes all kinds of noises. The kidlets have decided that we have
various ghosts, so "Martha" (the one they named) gets blamed for
everything!
>


We once lived in a house that really did have a ghost. I never *saw*
him, but I senced him.

We moved into this old house near the sea. I senced this ghost
standing outside one of the bedrooms. he was an American soldier.
One from the 1st world war. he stood on guard with his rifle.

This was in New Zealand - so I had no idea why this American soldier
was in our house.

Several months after we moved in to this house, I was talking to an
elderly neighbour. I had never spoke about our ghost. She was
telling me how these houses had been built especially for the
American army during the 1st world war.............

Turned out several of the 12 houses had ghosts.

The houses have all been knocked down now and I often wonder where
our ghost went.

marianne -
who's son amd daughter actually saw a ghost in one house they flatted
in. But thats another story for another day.

Tracy Oldfield

> 
> 
.! I never use the word 'naughty' either but 
> that's come from Granny's.

Hmmm. I come into the *grannie* catogry....... 

Marianne

While I was pg with dd2 I read Siblings Without Rivalry
and one thing that really hit home with me was that
describing what you see, either 'good' or 'bad' or how
you feel is much more use than labelling a child or
even a behaviour as 'good' or 'bad.' So saying 'that's
naughty!' to a 2yo doesn't mean much, but 'I see a cut
chair!!' or 'I'm mad, I don't like to see furniture cut
up!!' tells the child exactly what the problem is and
how it's affecting you right then. So 'good girl!' has
been used very little, but 'ta, love, that's just where
I wanted it' has been used more. I also dislike
'naughty' cos it's the kind of thing that means that
the problem is that they've been caught, not what has
been done. I could go on at length (can you tell? LOL)
about 'good girl' but I'll spare you that one...

Tracy
getting off my soapbox...

Lynda

The kidlets named the "ghost" when we first moved in the house. We would be
sitting in the diningroom and knobs from the stove would suddenly come
flying off. Hubby insisted it was vibrations or the stove was old or
something. The kidlets and I aren't buying it <g> I mean, "vibrations"????
So strong they made the knobs going sailing across a room but not strong
enough for us to feel them <g>

He cured that "problem" by selling the stove and buying a new one. But he
hasn't cured the dresser drawers that keep being opened in the middle of the
night <g> And we've informed him he is not "curing" that problem by selling
the dresser cause my grandfather built it (one for each of his
grandchildren).

Lynda, who is use to having ghosts around.
----- Original Message -----
From: <tonitoni@...>
To: <[email protected]>
Sent: Wednesday, April 11, 2001 12:28 PM
Subject: [Unschooling-dotcom] Housekeeping, was Re: Here's a good one


> --- In Unschooling-dotcom@y..., "Lynda" <lurine@s...> wrote:
> > Well, when you live in a house that is VERY old, it creaks and
> makes all kinds of noises. The kidlets have decided that we have
> various ghosts, so "Martha" (the one they named) gets blamed for
> everything!
> >
>
>
> We once lived in a house that really did have a ghost. I never *saw*
> him, but I senced him.
>
> We moved into this old house near the sea. I senced this ghost
> standing outside one of the bedrooms. he was an American soldier.
> One from the 1st world war. he stood on guard with his rifle.
>
> This was in New Zealand - so I had no idea why this American soldier
> was in our house.
>
> Several months after we moved in to this house, I was talking to an
> elderly neighbour. I had never spoke about our ghost. She was
> telling me how these houses had been built especially for the
> American army during the 1st world war.............
>
> Turned out several of the 12 houses had ghosts.
>
> The houses have all been knocked down now and I often wonder where
> our ghost went.
>
> marianne -
> who's son amd daughter actually saw a ghost in one house they flatted
> in. But thats another story for another day.
>
>
>
>
> Message boards, timely articles, a free newsletter and more!
> Check it all out at: http://www.unschooling.com
>
> To unsubscribe, set preferences, or read archives:
> http://www.egroups.com/group/Unschooling-dotcom
>
> Another great list sponsored by Home Education Magazine!
> http://www.home-ed-magazine.com
>
>
>
> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/
>
>

Donna Hernandez

Lynda,

KIDLETS......I love it!! Donna
_________________________________________________________________
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DiamondAir

From: "Karen" <careermom@...>
>I have been working FlyLady's routines too....
>but with 4 kids home all day it is much harder to
> keep a clean house for me. No sooner do I clean
>something than it has been undone. It is probably
>the most frustrating thing for me about being with my kids 24/7.


Yeah, I hear you! That's one reason I like having routines though. At any
given time, I know that the house is *clean* and even if there's a bit of a
mess to pick up here or there, I don't have to worry that the laundry also
is piled up and the toilet needs scrubbing and the oven is dirty, and...etc.
I expect that with little kids around all day the house is going to get
untidy, but I'm happy that it's not also filthy, KWIM? :-) In the evening,
we tidy everything up a bit more and when I wake up in the morning it is to
a clean house. That sure helps my day go better!

The thing I really need to do now is to just start reducing stuff. There's
absolutely no reason that I have so many T-shirts that when they are all
clean they will not fit in my drawer. Or have so many CDs that I never
listen to, etc. etc. This is such a freeing thing. Last year we got rid of
our hodgepodge of tea mugs and just got 6 nice matching blue ones. They all
fit in my cupboard (half don't have to reside in my dishwasher), they look
lovely, and every time I open my cupboard I'm not in danger of being felled
by a mug. Baby steps, baby steps...

Blue Skies!
-Robin-
Mom to Mackenzie (8/28/96) "Asa is running her voice out"
and Asa (10/5/99) Who sings "the alien song"
http://www.geocities.com/the_clevengers Flying Clevenger Family

Johanna

The book Clutters Last Stand by Don Aslett was an eye opener about the robbing power of clutter and stuff. If I can't fit it in my dresser drawers or neatly keep it in my closet, I have too much stuff. When my kids have tons of stuff in their rooms they simply cannot keep a handle on it.
Johanna
"Education is not the filling of a bucket but the lighting of a fire"
William Butler Yeats
----- Original Message -----
From: DiamondAir
Sent: Thursday, April 12, 2001 10:23 AM
Subject: [Unschooling-dotcom] Re: Housekeeping, was Re: Here's a good one

   From: "Karen" <careermom@...>
>I have been working FlyLady's routines too....
>but with 4 kids home all day it is much harder to
> keep a clean house for me.  No sooner do I clean
>something than it has been undone.  It is probably
>the most frustrating thing for me about being with my kids 24/7.


Yeah, I hear you! That's one reason I like having routines though. At any
given time, I know that the house is *clean* and even if there's a bit of a
mess to pick up here or there, I don't have to worry that the laundry also
is piled up and the toilet needs scrubbing and the oven is dirty, and...etc.
I expect that with little kids around all day the house is going to get
untidy, but I'm happy that it's not also filthy, KWIM? :-) In the evening,
we tidy everything up a bit more and when I wake up in the morning it is to
a clean house. That sure helps my day go better!

The thing I really need to do now is to just start reducing stuff. There's
absolutely no reason that I have so many T-shirts that when they are all
clean they will not fit in my drawer. Or have so many CDs that I never
listen to, etc. etc.  This is such a freeing thing. Last year we got rid of
our hodgepodge of tea mugs and just got 6 nice matching blue ones. They all
fit in my cupboard (half don't have to reside in my dishwasher), they look
lovely, and every time I open my cupboard I'm not in danger of being felled
by a mug. Baby steps, baby steps...

Blue Skies!
   -Robin-
Mom to Mackenzie (8/28/96) "Asa is running her voice out"
and Asa (10/5/99) Who sings "the alien song"
http://www.geocities.com/the_clevengers   Flying Clevenger Family



Message boards, timely articles, a free newsletter and more!
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http://www.home-ed-magazine.com



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