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Hi all,

I am Julie. I was a regular to this list at the end of last summer, but
could not keep up with all the mail. However, a recent heated debate with my
best friend about the benifits of unschooling has led me back, to the place I
guess I really need to be.

I have a four year old and an almost 2yr. I volunteer with two parenting
organizations (seems to take up tons of time, but I enjoy doing it.)
However, some (most) days I feel like I am not focusing enough on my children
and their play. My thoughts are if I am not doing as much as I feel I should
now, will it be enough as they get older and unschooled? Can anyone offer
their thoughts?

Thanks
Julie

ps. I had a successful VBAC to an 8lb 15oz boy almost two years ago. I went
to the hospital pushing in the car, my hubby running red lights with the
homebirth midwife acting as a doula sitting between my legs. I purposely
waited that long so I felt I had control over most of my labor. Next baby
(if we are that lucky) is homebirth!

DiamondAir

> From: Jaam1224@...
> I am Julie. I was a regular to this list at the end of last summer, but
> could not keep up with all the mail. However, a recent heated debate with
my
> best friend about the benifits of unschooling has led me back, to the
place I
> guess I really need to be.

Welcome back!

> I have a four year old and an almost 2yr. I volunteer with two parenting
> organizations (seems to take up tons of time, but I enjoy doing it.)
> However, some (most) days I feel like I am not focusing enough on my
children
> and their play. My thoughts are if I am not doing as much as I feel I
should
> now, will it be enough as they get older and unschooled? Can anyone offer
> their thoughts?


My kids are similar ages to yours. It's hard to find that balancing point,
isn't it! On one hand, I think that as parents we need to be available to
our children, but on the other hand I try not to be too child-focused or
child-centric. I'm not sure that they need us to focus on their play, unless
they're asking us to play with them. Often at home, I'm working on my own
stuff or I have the kids with me while I'm doing something (my passions are
photography and I'm also training for a triathlon) and I think that's great.
Kids need to see their parents pursuing their passions and having their own
interests, goals, and dreams. I also try to have time available to do things
like crafts where they need my help and/or supervision. A lot of their play
time is spent alone or with each other in imaginative play and that's great
too. Sometimes I feel like I've spent too much time on my own focus and I
need to pull back and spend more time just hanging out with the kids.
Sometimes I feel like my own interests are getting neglected and I've spent
too much kid-time and then I need to regain some of my own focus. Always a
balancing act, eh? I'd say go with your own intuition - if you're feeling
like you're not spending enough time with them (or they're showing it via
their own frustration), then back off of your other activities for a while.
If not, carry on! I try to remember that the years when they are so young
and needy are short and few. Soon enough they will be wanting/needing time
to do their own thing. I try to treasure the moments I have to spend with
them.

> ps. I had a successful VBAC to an 8lb 15oz boy almost two years ago. I
went
> to the hospital pushing in the car, my hubby running red lights with the
> homebirth midwife acting as a doula sitting between my legs. I purposely
> waited that long so I felt I had control over most of my labor. Next baby
> (if we are that lucky) is homebirth!

Congrats on your VBAC, that sounds like the way to do it :-)
Homebirth is awesome, I hope you get the chance to experience it!

Blue Skies!
-Robin-
Mom to Mackenzie (8/28/96) "Asa is running her voice out"
and Asa (10/5/99) Who sings "the alien song"
http://www.geocities.com/the_clevengers Flying Clevenger Family