[email protected]

I'd like to thank those of you who responded to my email awhile back about my
plans to send my 3 yo triplet boys to preschool before unschooling. Boy, was
that said in ignorance! Since then I have visited three preschools and was
horrified at two of them. They truly are little schools!
]
The one I like was a very well known Montessori preschool in our area.
I'm attracted because of the patterns of working without being interupted,
putting things away, and following one's own interest. I didn't observe any
art going on, so don't know whether art experiences would be as directed as
the ones I saw at the other preschools. (I remember once reading a book
about parenting by a woman who the jacket said had written a book called
something like "the Uncoloring Book". Anybody know anything about that
book?)

My boys are very normal boys. They hardly ever let each other sit and be
involved in anything. There has recently been quite a bit of improvement in
that area and I wonder if this too will be outgrown. That's hard for any of
you to say, as three of your kids aren't the same age and stage!
We recently joined a big health club with a big nursery and I've noticed
that George, who loves to build with blocks, is usually at the block table
with other kids, not his brothers, and that he is allowed to build
uninterrupted. Also, when I am in the room and someone sets up a howl at
being messed with and I ask them if they want to do it (puzzle, play with
dinosaurs, or whatever) alone, and they say yes, and I explain to the
intruder that his brother wants to do it alone, then it is okay and they are
left alone.

So, at the moment I am wavering between thinking a year or two of
expensive Montessori might set us up for personally directed learning, and
thinking that the sports classes and nursery at the health club is all we
need for preschool. Help! REgistration is sooner rather than later if I
want three spots at the Children's House!

Barda, you referred to an eye opening Montessori story. I would
appreciate hearing it if you have time to write it down! And welcome.

When I joined this list a month or two ago I thought I was really driven
to be doing it so soon. My boys won't even be three until June! But I've
always wanted to unschool and I love to learn things and think the next
fifteen years learning with and from them is the way I'd be happiest. DH at
this point doesn't have a concept but I'm making him a file of posts to help
him out!!!
I'm so pleased I joined this list that I just sent in my membership check
of $25 to the local homeschool support group. Even if I just read their
newsletter, it will be local info and good to share with DH.

Thanks in advance for anyone who responds to this cry for info.

Georganne, proud mom to Julian, Cristiano and George

DiamondAir

Hi georgeanne. This was in my "Drafts" folder waiting to be finished, but I
saw your recent post and realized that you were still searching for answers.
So here's my 2 cents, for what that's worth :-)

=========
> From: GeorganneD@...
>(I remember once reading a book
> about parenting by a woman who the jacket said had written a book called
> something like "the Uncoloring Book". Anybody know anything about that
> book?)

I don't know about that book specifically, but we have many "uncoloring
books" around our house (otherwise known as blank paper and crayons :-)

> My boys are very normal boys. They hardly ever let each other sit and be
> involved in anything. There has recently been quite a bit of improvement
in
> that area and I wonder if this too will be outgrown. That's hard for
anyof
> you to say, as three of your kids aren't the same age and stage!


If you'd like, I'll pass this email on to someone I know with older
homeschooled triplets (I think they're about 10 y.o. now). She might even
be on this list, though I haven't seen her post. As for siblings not letting
each other sit and be involved in anything, that happens here too (and I
daresay in any house with more than one child :-).


> So, at the moment I am wavering between thinking a year or two of
> expensive Montessori might set us up for personally directed learning, and
> thinking that the sports classes and nursery at the health club is all we
> need for preschool. Help! REgistration is sooner rather than later if I
> want three spots at the Children's House!


I guess my 2 cents would be to sit down and think of the positives and
negatives of each situation and see if you can see a clear case where one
would outweigh the other. I have occasionally thought about sending my son
to preschool, primarily so I'd have some one-on-one time with my daughter,
and he'd have some time where he didn't have to contend with a toddler into
everything he's doing. So I basically did a cost-benefit analysis of the
situation and decided that for us it makes more sense to have him at home. I
don't just mean monetary costs, I included things like "He will have to eat
on a schedule", "I'll have to get him out of the house at a certain time
every morning" and "He'll learn all kinds of things I don't want him to
know" in the "cost" section as well as the $$$ it would cost us and
non-monetary benefits under the benefits side as well.


> Barda, you referred to an eye opening Montessori story. I would
> appreciate hearing it if you have time to write it down! And welcome.


I don't know what this story is, but I do know someone who had real problems
with a Montessori-type preschool (in Washington) with their 3 year old
daughter. I guess they (Montessori) are real big on finishing what you've
started, and finishing one "level" of tasks before you can move on to
something else. My friend's daughter was not allowed to move on to one
exercise (something to do with cuisinaire rods, I think) because she hadn't
finished the previous one yet. I guess I get the concept, but it sort of
runs against what I believe in about how kids learn, which is that each
child learns in their own individual way. I think if you're planning on
unschooling, this may be something you want to consider - will having to
learn things a certain way interfere with the way they think about learning
and their own abilities? Only you know the answer for your own kids.



>When I joined this list a month or two ago I thought I was really driven
> to be doing it so soon. My boys won't even be three until June!


Well, I believe that "unschooling", unlike schooling has no stopping or
starting place. It could just as easily be called "lifelong natural
learning". It seems bizarre to me that people will now be considering my son
to be "school aged", when really nothing magical occurs. He will learn
tomorrow the same way he learns today. It *is* great to think about doing it
before putting kids into a school situation. I know many unschoolers have to
"deschool" and undo the damage a formal learning system can do to a child's
natural desire to learn. This is one reason I've leaned away from doing any
kind of formal preschool, but each person has to make their own decision. If
I ever did preschool for my kid, I think I'd lean more towards Waldorf than
Montessori. Waldorf schools, especially for very young children, emulate a
home-like atmosphere. They are very gentle and natural and believe kids
learn through play and through emulation (of adults who are cooking,
cleaning, doing "fingerwork" or knitting, sewing, etc. ) at the preschool
age.

One other reason I have stayed away from the idea of preschool is that I
want to keep my child's imagination from being prematurely limited. The
other day he wanted to paint his fingernails pink, which he said looked
"magical" and made him look "like a fairy". I can imagine that other
preschool-aged kids would quickly quash this sort of instinct as most 4 year
olds in constant contact with the TV and other sources are pretty well aware
already that little boys shouldn't want to look fairy-like. In fact, we were
at a bike store the other day when he was admonished by another 4 y.o. there
because he was riding "a girl's bike" (it had a pink seat, but was otherwise
blue). My son wouldn't have known that pink is mysteriously reserved for
girls until this. I know he will encounter this eventually, but I'd like to
preserve the magic of a non-limited imagination for a couple more years if
possible. Advertisers and manufacturers of children's products have done
such an impressive and thorough job of pounding certain attributes into our
youth (even looking at the toy advertisements in the local newspaper, it is
painfully obvious that only little boys play with trucks, and the "pink
pages" are for little girls), that I feel it actually closes down some of
their ability to think in different ways before they're ready to understand
such sex stereotyping. In any case, that's just another thing that I
considered thoroughly before making my decision.

Best of luck, I hope you find a solution that works for you!

Blue Skies!
-Robin-
Mom to Mackenzie (8/28/96) "Asa is running her voice out"
and Asa (10/5/99) Who sings "the alien song"
http://www.geocities.com/the_clevengers Flying Clevenger Family

Johanna

I can so identify with the "pink" stereotype. When my son was two he had a pink sweatshirt that had a magical looking carousel horse on it and he loved it, but people used to make comments to him, whenever he wore it. a family member had given it to him so it was special.
Johanna
"Education is not the filling of a bucket but the lighting of a fire"
William Butler Yeats
----- Original Message -----
From: DiamondAir
Sent: Thursday, April 12, 2001 10:42 AM
Subject: [Unschooling-dotcom] Re: Montessori preschool

Hi georgeanne. This was in my "Drafts" folder waiting to be finished, but I
saw your recent post and realized that you were still searching for answers.
So here's my 2 cents, for what that's worth :-)

=========
>    From: GeorganneD@...
>(I remember once reading a book
> about parenting by a woman who the jacket said had written a book called
> something like "the Uncoloring Book".  Anybody know anything about that
> book?)

I don't know about that book specifically, but we have many "uncoloring
books" around our house (otherwise known as blank paper and crayons :-)

>  My boys are very normal boys.  They hardly ever let each other sit and be
> involved in anything. There has recently been quite a bit of improvement
in
> that area and I wonder if this too will be outgrown.  That's hard for
anyof
> you to say, as three of your kids aren't the same age and stage!


If you'd like, I'll pass this email on to someone I know with older
homeschooled triplets (I think they're about 10 y.o. now). She might even
be on this list, though I haven't seen her post. As for siblings not letting
each other sit and be involved in anything, that happens here too (and I
daresay in any house with more than one child :-).


>     So, at the moment I am wavering between thinking a year or two of
> expensive Montessori might set us up for personally directed learning, and
> thinking that the sports classes and nursery at the health club is all we
> need for preschool.  Help!  REgistration is sooner rather than later if I
> want three spots at the Children's House!


I guess my 2 cents would be to sit down and think of the positives and
negatives of each situation and see if you can see a clear case where one
would outweigh the other. I have occasionally thought about sending my son
to preschool, primarily so I'd have some one-on-one time with my daughter,
and he'd have some time where he didn't have to contend with a toddler into
everything he's doing. So I basically did a cost-benefit analysis of the
situation and decided that for us it makes more sense to have him at home. I
don't just mean monetary costs, I included things like "He will have to eat
on a schedule", "I'll have to get him out of the house at a certain time
every morning" and "He'll learn all kinds of things I don't want him to
know" in the "cost" section as well as the $$$ it would cost us and
non-monetary benefits under the benefits side as well.


>     Barda, you referred to an eye opening Montessori story.  I would
> appreciate hearing it if you have time to write it down!  And welcome.


I don't know what this story is, but I do know someone who had real problems
with a Montessori-type preschool (in Washington) with their 3 year old
daughter. I guess they (Montessori) are real big on finishing what you've
started, and finishing one "level" of tasks before you can move on to
something else. My friend's daughter was not allowed to move on to one
exercise (something to do with cuisinaire rods, I think) because she hadn't
finished the previous one yet.  I guess I get the concept, but it sort of
runs against what I believe in about how kids learn, which is that each
child learns in their own individual way. I think if you're planning on
unschooling, this may be something you want to consider - will having to
learn things a certain way interfere with the way they think about learning
and their own abilities? Only you know the answer for your own kids.



>When I joined this list a month or two ago I thought I was really driven
> to be doing it so soon.  My boys won't even be three until June!


Well, I believe that "unschooling", unlike schooling has no stopping or
starting place. It could just as easily be called "lifelong natural
learning". It seems bizarre to me that people will now be considering my son
to be "school aged", when really nothing magical occurs. He will learn
tomorrow the same way he learns today. It *is* great to think about doing it
before putting kids into a school situation. I know many unschoolers have to
"deschool" and undo the damage a formal learning system can do to a child's
natural desire to learn. This is one reason I've leaned away from doing any
kind of formal preschool, but each person has to make their own decision. If
I ever did preschool for my kid, I think I'd lean more towards Waldorf than
Montessori. Waldorf schools, especially for very young children, emulate a
home-like atmosphere. They are very gentle and natural and believe kids
learn through play and through emulation (of adults who are cooking,
cleaning, doing "fingerwork" or knitting, sewing, etc. ) at the preschool
age.

One other reason I have stayed away from the idea of preschool is that I
want to keep my child's imagination from being prematurely limited. The
other day he wanted to paint his fingernails pink, which he said looked
"magical" and made him look "like a fairy". I can imagine that other
preschool-aged kids would quickly quash this sort of instinct as most 4 year
olds in constant contact with the TV and other sources are pretty well aware
already that little boys shouldn't want to look fairy-like. In fact, we were
at a bike store the other day when he was admonished by another 4 y.o. there
because he was riding "a girl's bike" (it had a pink seat, but was otherwise
blue). My son wouldn't have known that pink is mysteriously reserved for
girls until this. I know he will encounter this eventually, but I'd like to
preserve the magic of a non-limited imagination for a couple more years if
possible. Advertisers and manufacturers of children's products have done
such an impressive and thorough job of pounding certain attributes into our
youth (even looking at the toy advertisements in the local newspaper, it is
painfully obvious that only little boys play with trucks, and the "pink
pages" are for little girls), that I feel it actually closes down some of
their ability to think in different ways before they're ready to understand
such sex stereotyping. In any case, that's just another thing that I
considered thoroughly before making my decision.

Best of luck, I hope you find a solution that works for you!

Blue Skies!
   -Robin-
Mom to Mackenzie (8/28/96) "Asa is running her voice out"
and Asa (10/5/99) Who sings "the alien song"
http://www.geocities.com/the_clevengers   Flying Clevenger Family



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