Tanya in WA

>>> How To Bathe A Cat
>>>
>>> (Note: Jeffery LaCroix is a veterinarian with an office in
>>> Wilmington. He writes a column for the Morning Star called
>>> "From Paws to Tails."
>>>
>>> Here is his response to a letter regarding bathing a cat:)
>>>
>>> Dear Dr. LaCroix: I've heard that cats never have to be
>>> bathed, and that they have some sort of special enzyme in
>>> their saliva that keeps them clean. This doesn't sound
>>> believable to me because there are definite "kitty" odors
>>> on my couch and dirty cat paw prints on our white hearth.
>>> Is this true about the saliva? If we do decide to give
>>> "Nice Kitty" a bath, how do we do that? - NSP, Wilmington
>>>
>>> Dear NSP: Fortunately for you, several years ago a client
>>> gave me a written set of instructions about cat bathing
>>> which I am privileged to share with you:
>>>
>>> Cat Bathing As A Martial Art
>>>
>>> A. Know that although the cat has the advantage of
>>> quickness and lack of concern for human life, you have
>>> the advantage of strength.
>>>
>>> Capitalize on that advantage by selecting the battlefield.
>>> Don't try to bathe him in an open area where he can force
>>> you to chase him. Pick a very small bathroom.
>>>
>>> If your bathroom is more than four feet square, I recommend
>>> that you get in the tub with the cat and close the sliding
>>> -glass doors as if you were about to take a shower.
>>> (A simple shower curtain will not do. A berserk
>>> cat can shred a three-ply rubber shower curtain quicker than
>>> a politician can shift positions.)
>>>
>>> B. Know that a cat has claws and will not hesitate to
>>> remove all the skin from your body. Your advantage here
>>> is that you are smart and know how to dress to protect
>>> yourself.
>>>
>>> I recommend canvas overalls tucked into high-top
>>> construction boots, a pair of steel-mesh gloves, an army
>>> helmet, a hockey face-mask, and a long-sleeved flak jacket.
>>>
>>> C. Use the element of surprise. Pick up your cat
>>> nonchalantly, as if to simply carry him to his supper dish.
>>> (Cats will not usually notice your strange attire. They have
>>> little or no interest in fashion as a rule.)
>>>
>>> D. Once you are inside the bathroom, speed is essential to
>>> survival. In a single liquid motion, shut the bathroom door,
>>> step into the tub enclosure, slide the glass door shut, dip
>>> the cat in the water and squirt him with shampoo.
>>>
>>> You have begun one of the wildest 45 seconds of your life.
>>>
>>> E. Cats have no handles. Add the fact that he now has
>>> soapy fur, and the problem is radically compounded.
>>>
>>> Do not expect to hold on to him for more than two or three
>>> seconds at a time. When you have him, however, you must
>>> remember to give him another squirt of shampoo and rub
>>> like crazy.
>>>
>>> He'll then spring free and fall back into the water, thereby
>>> rinsing himself off. (The national record for cats is three
>>> latherings, so don't expect too much.)
>>>
>>> F. Next, the cat must be dried. Novice cat bathers always
>>> assume this part will be the most difficult, for humans
>>> generally are worn out at this point and the cat is just
>>> getting really determined.
>>>
>>> In fact, the drying is simple compared with what you have
>>> just been through.
>>>
>>> That's because by now the cat is semi-permanently affixed to
>>> your right leg.
>>>
>>> You simply pop the drain plug with your foot, reach for your
>>> towel and wait. (Occasionally, however, the cat will end up
>>> clinging to the top of your army helmet. If this happens,
>>> the best thing you can do is to shake him loose and to
>>> encourage him toward your leg.) After all the water is
>>> drained from the tub, it is a simple matter to just reach
>>> down and dry the cat.
>>>
>>> In a few days the cat will relax enough to be removed from
>>> your leg. He will usually have nothing to say for about
>>> three weeks and will spend a lot of time sitting with his
>>> back to you.
>>>
>>> He might even become psychoceramic and develop the fixed
>>> stare of a plaster figurine.
>>>
>>> You will be tempted to assume he is angry.
>>>
>>> This isn't usually the case.
>>>
>>> As a rule he is simply plotting ways to get through your
>>> defenses and injure you for life the next time you decide
>>> to give him a bath.
>>>
>>> But at least now he smells a lot better.
>
>
>
Tanya in WA (state)



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Brown

Tanya

You made our day :-)
Check out
http://www.netlink.co.nz/~monpa/

Carol

Tanya in WA wrote:

> From: "Tanya in WA" <tbone2@...>
>
> >>> How To Bathe A Cat
> >>>
> >>> (Note: Jeffery LaCroix is a veterinarian with an office in
> >>> Wilmington. He writes a column for the Morning Star called
> >>> "From Paws to Tails."
> >>>
> >>> Here is his response to a letter regarding bathing a cat:)
> >>>
> >>> Dear Dr. LaCroix: I've heard that cats never have to be
> >>> bathed, and that they have some sort of special enzyme in
> >>> their saliva that keeps them clean. This doesn't sound
> >>> believable to me because there are definite "kitty" odors
> >>> on my couch and dirty cat paw prints on our white hearth.
> >>> Is this true about the saliva? If we do decide to give
> >>> "Nice Kitty" a bath, how do we do that? - NSP, Wilmington
> >>>
> >>> Dear NSP: Fortunately for you, several years ago a client
> >>> gave me a written set of instructions about cat bathing
> >>> which I am privileged to share with you:
> >>>
> >>> Cat Bathing As A Martial Art
> >>>
> >>> A. Know that although the cat has the advantage of
> >>> quickness and lack of concern for human life, you have
> >>> the advantage of strength.
> >>>
> >>> Capitalize on that advantage by selecting the battlefield.
> >>> Don't try to bathe him in an open area where he can force
> >>> you to chase him. Pick a very small bathroom.
> >>>
> >>> If your bathroom is more than four feet square, I recommend
> >>> that you get in the tub with the cat and close the sliding
> >>> -glass doors as if you were about to take a shower.
> >>> (A simple shower curtain will not do. A berserk
> >>> cat can shred a three-ply rubber shower curtain quicker than
> >>> a politician can shift positions.)
> >>>
> >>> B. Know that a cat has claws and will not hesitate to
> >>> remove all the skin from your body. Your advantage here
> >>> is that you are smart and know how to dress to protect
> >>> yourself.
> >>>
> >>> I recommend canvas overalls tucked into high-top
> >>> construction boots, a pair of steel-mesh gloves, an army
> >>> helmet, a hockey face-mask, and a long-sleeved flak jacket.
> >>>
> >>> C. Use the element of surprise. Pick up your cat
> >>> nonchalantly, as if to simply carry him to his supper dish.
> >>> (Cats will not usually notice your strange attire. They have
> >>> little or no interest in fashion as a rule.)
> >>>
> >>> D. Once you are inside the bathroom, speed is essential to
> >>> survival. In a single liquid motion, shut the bathroom door,
> >>> step into the tub enclosure, slide the glass door shut, dip
> >>> the cat in the water and squirt him with shampoo.
> >>>
> >>> You have begun one of the wildest 45 seconds of your life.
> >>>
> >>> E. Cats have no handles. Add the fact that he now has
> >>> soapy fur, and the problem is radically compounded.
> >>>
> >>> Do not expect to hold on to him for more than two or three
> >>> seconds at a time. When you have him, however, you must
> >>> remember to give him another squirt of shampoo and rub
> >>> like crazy.
> >>>
> >>> He'll then spring free and fall back into the water, thereby
> >>> rinsing himself off. (The national record for cats is three
> >>> latherings, so don't expect too much.)
> >>>
> >>> F. Next, the cat must be dried. Novice cat bathers always
> >>> assume this part will be the most difficult, for humans
> >>> generally are worn out at this point and the cat is just
> >>> getting really determined.
> >>>
> >>> In fact, the drying is simple compared with what you have
> >>> just been through.
> >>>
> >>> That's because by now the cat is semi-permanently affixed to
> >>> your right leg.
> >>>
> >>> You simply pop the drain plug with your foot, reach for your
> >>> towel and wait. (Occasionally, however, the cat will end up
> >>> clinging to the top of your army helmet. If this happens,
> >>> the best thing you can do is to shake him loose and to
> >>> encourage him toward your leg.) After all the water is
> >>> drained from the tub, it is a simple matter to just reach
> >>> down and dry the cat.
> >>>
> >>> In a few days the cat will relax enough to be removed from
> >>> your leg. He will usually have nothing to say for about
> >>> three weeks and will spend a lot of time sitting with his
> >>> back to you.
> >>>
> >>> He might even become psychoceramic and develop the fixed
> >>> stare of a plaster figurine.
> >>>
> >>> You will be tempted to assume he is angry.
> >>>
> >>> This isn't usually the case.
> >>>
> >>> As a rule he is simply plotting ways to get through your
> >>> defenses and injure you for life the next time you decide
> >>> to give him a bath.
> >>>
> >>> But at least now he smells a lot better.
> >
> >
> >
> Tanya in WA (state)
>
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