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I feel so grateful for all your thoughtful replies about the upcoming changes
in my family (birth of twins, and wanting to keep my older child at home).  I
thank you all so much for the honest and helpful replies.

My 3 year old is a spirited child and i know he would do horribly in a
preschool setting (but thank you to those who shared that arrangement worked
for them) As many of you pointed out, it is unlikely to be a positive
influence on him and the whole family when the arrival of his siblings is
coupled with being sent away.  I don't have family nearby, and that scares
me, but i feel a mother's helper (a teen or younger) would be a good option,
and would give my son some extra attention while i am about the house.
Everyone's suggestions about good toys and supplies is appreciated too. We
already have all of them, which is a bonus.

One of the points raised that really bolstered my view was the many reminders
of how getting a child to a "program" can be so time consuming and stressful,
especially with two carseats in tow.  I had tried to explain this angle to a
friend and she said "Oh, there will be people to help you, the other moms of
the preschool will help you work it out".  While it is nice to imagine all
these helpful people out there that would watch my infants in the car while i
take my relatively unhappy child to pre-school, i fail to see how this makes
it all worthwhile!! I have rheumatoid arthritis, and watching my energy
levels and physical strain is very very key.  Keeping things "low key" and
homebased has been the key to pain management so far.

The other helpful thread for my husband and i was the fact my son will be
sharing in life with his siblings---starting with seeing parts of the birth,
then all the care required to raise children (which he can contribute to).  
As well as being a unit study in home economics and the real work of making a
family,  it is about valuing being together, and giving to one another above
all else (thank you to Amalia's older children's thoughts).

I feel my instincts have been confirmed, which is a wonderful feeling!

cath