Nighttime nursing
Amy Spang
Since the subject of nursing has come up, I wonder if anyone else is
having a problem with very frequent night time nursing? My 16 mo. old
wakes up to nurse every 2-3 hours every night like clockwork , and I am
getting so tired I'm afraid to get behind the wheel to drive anywhere. I
can't keep him in our bed because we get even less sleep (our bed is
small) and I have talked to people who say, "Let him nurse as much as he
wants at night," and others (like the pediatrician) who say, " Cut him
off right now or he will never learn to get to sleep on his own". I
don't know what to do since this is the only child I've ever nursed this
long (my other two were weaned earlier). I just know I can't go on
like this much longer. Any advice would be appreciated.+ Thanks, Amy
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having a problem with very frequent night time nursing? My 16 mo. old
wakes up to nurse every 2-3 hours every night like clockwork , and I am
getting so tired I'm afraid to get behind the wheel to drive anywhere. I
can't keep him in our bed because we get even less sleep (our bed is
small) and I have talked to people who say, "Let him nurse as much as he
wants at night," and others (like the pediatrician) who say, " Cut him
off right now or he will never learn to get to sleep on his own". I
don't know what to do since this is the only child I've ever nursed this
long (my other two were weaned earlier). I just know I can't go on
like this much longer. Any advice would be appreciated.+ Thanks, Amy
________________________________________________________________
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Tracy Oldfield
Don't mean to be flippant or trivilaise your problem,
but my first thought was 'get a bigger bed!' or
another bed where dh can sleep while you nurse. I made
the mistake of having a Mirena fitted when dd2 was
about 15mo, my nipples got v sensitive and I could no
longer sleep through nighttime nursings, so I can
definitely empathise. This has been the problem for
me, really, it's made me fed-up and probably prolonged
the whole thing. Seriously, it won't kill your
relationship with your dh as long as you talk about it,
keep talking, so if there's a way for the two of you (I
mean you child and you...) to co-sleep, then do it!
They do 'unschool' into their own beds eventually, or
so I'm told :-) It's not abuse as long as they can
choose, they do naturally outgrow the need, and htey do
have the need. You might find that the nursing gets
less if he's in your bed, the company is something he
needs just as much.
Apart from that, I don't know what to suggest. All the
figures, all the anecdotes, the books I've read, the
presentations I've seen tell me that co-sleeping is,
like breastfeeding, the biological expectation of the
child.
Tracy
Since the subject of nursing has come up, I wonder if
anyone else is
having a problem with very frequent night time
nursing? My 16 mo. old
wakes up to nurse every 2-3 hours every night like
clockwork , and I am
getting so tired I'm afraid to get behind the wheel to
drive anywhere. I
can't keep him in our bed because we get even less
sleep (our bed is
small) and I have talked to people who say, "Let him
nurse as much as he
wants at night," and others (like the pediatrician) who
say, " Cut him
off right now or he will never learn to get to sleep on
his own". I
don't know what to do since this is the only child I've
ever nursed this
long (my other two were weaned earlier). I just know
I can't go on
like this much longer. Any advice would be
appreciated.+ Thanks, Amy
but my first thought was 'get a bigger bed!' or
another bed where dh can sleep while you nurse. I made
the mistake of having a Mirena fitted when dd2 was
about 15mo, my nipples got v sensitive and I could no
longer sleep through nighttime nursings, so I can
definitely empathise. This has been the problem for
me, really, it's made me fed-up and probably prolonged
the whole thing. Seriously, it won't kill your
relationship with your dh as long as you talk about it,
keep talking, so if there's a way for the two of you (I
mean you child and you...) to co-sleep, then do it!
They do 'unschool' into their own beds eventually, or
so I'm told :-) It's not abuse as long as they can
choose, they do naturally outgrow the need, and htey do
have the need. You might find that the nursing gets
less if he's in your bed, the company is something he
needs just as much.
Apart from that, I don't know what to suggest. All the
figures, all the anecdotes, the books I've read, the
presentations I've seen tell me that co-sleeping is,
like breastfeeding, the biological expectation of the
child.
Tracy
Since the subject of nursing has come up, I wonder if
anyone else is
having a problem with very frequent night time
nursing? My 16 mo. old
wakes up to nurse every 2-3 hours every night like
clockwork , and I am
getting so tired I'm afraid to get behind the wheel to
drive anywhere. I
can't keep him in our bed because we get even less
sleep (our bed is
small) and I have talked to people who say, "Let him
nurse as much as he
wants at night," and others (like the pediatrician) who
say, " Cut him
off right now or he will never learn to get to sleep on
his own". I
don't know what to do since this is the only child I've
ever nursed this
long (my other two were weaned earlier). I just know
I can't go on
like this much longer. Any advice would be
appreciated.+ Thanks, Amy
Ashley
Hello,
I am new to this list and was going to wait to post till I'd had time to
introduce myself properly. (I know, hahaha, on ever having the time to do
anything properly!) But this post caught my eye and, while I tried to reply
to Amy privately, either the list won't allow that or I couldn't figure it
out, so here's a public, long-winded reply (for which I apologise, though I
should admit upfront that I do tend to be long-winded!).
I went through a similar stage with my younger daughter (now 2.3) when she
was about that age. This was just around the time I transistioned her from
our bed to a queen sized futon she shares with her older sister (5
tomorrow!). (We went with the queen sized bed so the two could sleep
together and so I could lie down with them when necessary.) It didn't seem
at the time as if the transition had anything to do with her suddenly
increased night nursing, though it's possible. But she suddenly went from
1-2 times a night to 4-5 and, like Amy, I thought I was going to go nuts and
seriously considered night weaning her, though I'd been committed to kid-led
weaning. Well, this went on for about three weeks, during which time I never
got around to figuring out how I'd go about the night weaning. And, lo and
behold, one night she slept through 12 hours from 8 p.m. to 8 a.m. and has
done so ever since. If she wakes up in the middle of the night even twice a
month that's a lot, by contrast to her sister who wakes up to come and find
me at least five nights out of seven. (And now dd2 nurses twice a day, first
thing in the morning and last thing before sleep, and occasionally at other
times if she's stressed or bored.)
All of which is to say that this could well be just a stage, and you could
well have a happy surprise at the end of it. In hindsight, it almost seemed
as if dd2 was stocking up on the night nursing before her big switch to
sleeping the night through (which she had never before done, not once.) And,
in hindsight, I'm really glad I didn't interfere, but let her have what she
needed. I didn't cut her off, and she learned to sleep through the night all
by herself. Of course, YMMV.
Anyway, I've really enjoyed the postings on this list since I joined and
look forward to more in the months and years to come.
(Okay, a quick intro for those of you who are still with me -- I'm Ashley ,
mom to Willis, now 5, adopted from China at 11 months, and Frances,
bio-baby, age 2.3. I've been committed to homeschooling since way before I
had kids, even while I was doing my teacher training at Bank Street College
in the late 1980's. We live in rural northern California. There are a lot of
homeschoolers in our area, though I haven't really tapped in to the local
network yet. We're pretty unstructured at this point. I marvel at how much
the girls are processing and "working" and learning as I watch them play. I
am very lucky in that they get along very well and are happy to play
together all day long. My biggest concern at this point is finding ways to
keep my younger happy while I do stuff with my older. Since they do get
along so well, they always want to be together, and if I set up something
fun to occupy the younger, the older wants to do it to instead of what I'd
had in mind, and if I do something with the older, the younger wants to join
in even if she then gets bored and wanders off. Naps are not the answer --
if either of my kids nap they are awake till midnight, and they have planty
of stamina to get through the day and evening without napping, so we don't
do naps.) This is not a huge problem; we muddle through well enough despite
the distractions and interruptions, but I'd be interested to hear how others
handle this problem.
Enough about us. I enjoy this list, and find it's helped me focus a little
better on how I want to approach things. It is well worth the time -- and
that's saying a lot, since I have NO time!)
My best wishes to all of you, and good luck to Amy!
Ashley
I am new to this list and was going to wait to post till I'd had time to
introduce myself properly. (I know, hahaha, on ever having the time to do
anything properly!) But this post caught my eye and, while I tried to reply
to Amy privately, either the list won't allow that or I couldn't figure it
out, so here's a public, long-winded reply (for which I apologise, though I
should admit upfront that I do tend to be long-winded!).
I went through a similar stage with my younger daughter (now 2.3) when she
was about that age. This was just around the time I transistioned her from
our bed to a queen sized futon she shares with her older sister (5
tomorrow!). (We went with the queen sized bed so the two could sleep
together and so I could lie down with them when necessary.) It didn't seem
at the time as if the transition had anything to do with her suddenly
increased night nursing, though it's possible. But she suddenly went from
1-2 times a night to 4-5 and, like Amy, I thought I was going to go nuts and
seriously considered night weaning her, though I'd been committed to kid-led
weaning. Well, this went on for about three weeks, during which time I never
got around to figuring out how I'd go about the night weaning. And, lo and
behold, one night she slept through 12 hours from 8 p.m. to 8 a.m. and has
done so ever since. If she wakes up in the middle of the night even twice a
month that's a lot, by contrast to her sister who wakes up to come and find
me at least five nights out of seven. (And now dd2 nurses twice a day, first
thing in the morning and last thing before sleep, and occasionally at other
times if she's stressed or bored.)
All of which is to say that this could well be just a stage, and you could
well have a happy surprise at the end of it. In hindsight, it almost seemed
as if dd2 was stocking up on the night nursing before her big switch to
sleeping the night through (which she had never before done, not once.) And,
in hindsight, I'm really glad I didn't interfere, but let her have what she
needed. I didn't cut her off, and she learned to sleep through the night all
by herself. Of course, YMMV.
Anyway, I've really enjoyed the postings on this list since I joined and
look forward to more in the months and years to come.
(Okay, a quick intro for those of you who are still with me -- I'm Ashley ,
mom to Willis, now 5, adopted from China at 11 months, and Frances,
bio-baby, age 2.3. I've been committed to homeschooling since way before I
had kids, even while I was doing my teacher training at Bank Street College
in the late 1980's. We live in rural northern California. There are a lot of
homeschoolers in our area, though I haven't really tapped in to the local
network yet. We're pretty unstructured at this point. I marvel at how much
the girls are processing and "working" and learning as I watch them play. I
am very lucky in that they get along very well and are happy to play
together all day long. My biggest concern at this point is finding ways to
keep my younger happy while I do stuff with my older. Since they do get
along so well, they always want to be together, and if I set up something
fun to occupy the younger, the older wants to do it to instead of what I'd
had in mind, and if I do something with the older, the younger wants to join
in even if she then gets bored and wanders off. Naps are not the answer --
if either of my kids nap they are awake till midnight, and they have planty
of stamina to get through the day and evening without napping, so we don't
do naps.) This is not a huge problem; we muddle through well enough despite
the distractions and interruptions, but I'd be interested to hear how others
handle this problem.
Enough about us. I enjoy this list, and find it's helped me focus a little
better on how I want to approach things. It is well worth the time -- and
that's saying a lot, since I have NO time!)
My best wishes to all of you, and good luck to Amy!
Ashley
> -----Original Message-----
>
> Since the subject of nursing has come up, I wonder if anyone else is
> having a problem with very frequent night time nursing? My 16 mo. old
> wakes up to nurse every 2-3 hours every night like clockwork , and I am
> getting so tired I'm afraid to get behind the wheel to drive anywhere. I
> can't keep him in our bed because we get even less sleep (our bed is
> small) and I have talked to people who say, "Let him nurse as much as he
> wants at night," and others (like the pediatrician) who say, " Cut him
> off right now or he will never learn to get to sleep on his own". I
> don't know what to do since this is the only child I've ever nursed this
> long (my other two were weaned earlier). I just know I can't go on
> like this much longer. Any advice would be appreciated.+ Thanks, Amy
> ________________________________________________________________
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> Juno offers FREE or PREMIUM Internet access for less!
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>
Cory and Amy Nelson
Hi Amy,
I don't know exactly how sleep deprived you must feel since my 18-month-old
is a frequent nurser throughout the day and night and has always been. Of
course us having a family bed and me being able to fall asleep during her
night nursings makes a huge difference. I'm pretty sure I've read somewhere
that the time from one year to around 18 months is a time when your child
will nurse like a newborn. That's certainly true with us. It could also have
a lot to do with developmental stuff, teething, etc.
I think my first piece of advice for you would be to try to make the family
bed work by putting the mattress of your bed on the floor and adding another
mattress to it, or by placing ds's crib (I assume that's what he sleeps in)
next to your bed as a sidecar. That way he'd be right by you yet you'd still
have more space.
Maybe your son would also be satisfied with some back rubs or another form
of comfort to replace some of those nursings. I've heard other moms say
their kids didn't nurse as often if they left a light on somewhere nearby or
if they gave them a high protein snack like cheese right before bed to
satiate any hunger pangs they might have at night.
I hope you can come up with a solution to help you out of your sleep
deprived state. Otherwise, I'd say nap with him during the day if that's at
all possible (probably hard to do with other children around, huh?).
Amy
Mama to Accalia (6/14/99)
"The hardest to learn was the least complicated" -Indigo Girls
I don't know exactly how sleep deprived you must feel since my 18-month-old
is a frequent nurser throughout the day and night and has always been. Of
course us having a family bed and me being able to fall asleep during her
night nursings makes a huge difference. I'm pretty sure I've read somewhere
that the time from one year to around 18 months is a time when your child
will nurse like a newborn. That's certainly true with us. It could also have
a lot to do with developmental stuff, teething, etc.
I think my first piece of advice for you would be to try to make the family
bed work by putting the mattress of your bed on the floor and adding another
mattress to it, or by placing ds's crib (I assume that's what he sleeps in)
next to your bed as a sidecar. That way he'd be right by you yet you'd still
have more space.
Maybe your son would also be satisfied with some back rubs or another form
of comfort to replace some of those nursings. I've heard other moms say
their kids didn't nurse as often if they left a light on somewhere nearby or
if they gave them a high protein snack like cheese right before bed to
satiate any hunger pangs they might have at night.
I hope you can come up with a solution to help you out of your sleep
deprived state. Otherwise, I'd say nap with him during the day if that's at
all possible (probably hard to do with other children around, huh?).
Amy
Mama to Accalia (6/14/99)
"The hardest to learn was the least complicated" -Indigo Girls
> Since the subject of nursing has come up, I wonder if anyone else is
> having a problem with very frequent night time nursing?
Sonia Ulan
Hi Amy;
I know and understand your desperation! I've been through this same
scenario 3 times myself. I can assure you ABSOLUTELY, your 16 month old
will indeed be able to sleep on his own, without nursing when he is
mature and ready, on his time. My toddlers regularly went through
phases of excessive nursing at night. I don't know if it's teething or
growth spurts or renewed separation anxiety, but I have encountered
periods with hourly nursings or worse at night...there have been times
when after the 12th nursing I have lost count! It doesn't last, it's
only a phase, (though it may last longer than you'd care to hope for...)
and my kids are all doing very well now. Don't let a misinformed doctor
discourage you! Can you sneak even a 15-20 minute nap in during the day
to recharge your batteries if you are feeling sleep-deprived? Maybe even
a couple of quickie naps through the day will help you to hang in. Or
can you nurse lying down during the day? I know for me, even those 5
minutes of being horizontal during the day, for every or most nursings,
can really help the body to rest and relax. I know it's rough but if
you can continue to endure, know that your baby is nursing regularly
through the night because he needs to.
I'm supporting you and sending cyber naps your way now!
Sonia in Saskatchewan, Canada
Amy Spang wrote:
I know and understand your desperation! I've been through this same
scenario 3 times myself. I can assure you ABSOLUTELY, your 16 month old
will indeed be able to sleep on his own, without nursing when he is
mature and ready, on his time. My toddlers regularly went through
phases of excessive nursing at night. I don't know if it's teething or
growth spurts or renewed separation anxiety, but I have encountered
periods with hourly nursings or worse at night...there have been times
when after the 12th nursing I have lost count! It doesn't last, it's
only a phase, (though it may last longer than you'd care to hope for...)
and my kids are all doing very well now. Don't let a misinformed doctor
discourage you! Can you sneak even a 15-20 minute nap in during the day
to recharge your batteries if you are feeling sleep-deprived? Maybe even
a couple of quickie naps through the day will help you to hang in. Or
can you nurse lying down during the day? I know for me, even those 5
minutes of being horizontal during the day, for every or most nursings,
can really help the body to rest and relax. I know it's rough but if
you can continue to endure, know that your baby is nursing regularly
through the night because he needs to.
I'm supporting you and sending cyber naps your way now!
Sonia in Saskatchewan, Canada
Amy Spang wrote:
>
> Since the subject of nursing has come up, I wonder if anyone else is
> having a problem with very frequent night time nursing? My 16 mo. old
> wakes up to nurse every 2-3 hours every night like clockwork , and I am
> getting so tired I'm afraid to get behind the wheel to drive anywhere. I
> can't keep him in our bed because we get even less sleep (our bed is
> small) and I have talked to people who say, "Let him nurse as much as he
> wants at night," and others (like the pediatrician) who say, " Cut him
> off right now or he will never learn to get to sleep on his own". I
> don't know what to do since this is the only child I've ever nursed this
> long (my other two were weaned earlier). I just know I can't go on
> like this much longer. Any advice would be appreciated.+ Thanks, Amy
> ________________________________________________________________
> GET INTERNET ACCESS FROM JUNO!
> Juno offers FREE or PREMIUM Internet access for less!
> Join Juno today! For your FREE software, visit:
> http://dl.www.juno.com/get/tagj.
>
>
> Message boards, timely articles, a free newsletter and more!
> Check it all out at: http://www.unschooling.com
>
> Addresses:
> Post message: [email protected]
> Unsubscribe: [email protected]
> List owner: [email protected]
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djedi
Hi, I just wanted to add that, sometimes little ones are really
*thirsty* (or even hungry) at night, and would benefit from a
good drink of water (or a snack). See that they get enough to
drink before bed, and offer a drink of water instead of the
breast in the night. This sometimes worked for us.
When my little ones were a just about two, I'd sometimes tell
them that I was *so* tired, and ask if they'd please have water
instead, or just nurse for a minute or two. They were often able
to be very considerate of my needs. (So sweet.)
djedi
Sonia Ulan wrote:
*thirsty* (or even hungry) at night, and would benefit from a
good drink of water (or a snack). See that they get enough to
drink before bed, and offer a drink of water instead of the
breast in the night. This sometimes worked for us.
When my little ones were a just about two, I'd sometimes tell
them that I was *so* tired, and ask if they'd please have water
instead, or just nurse for a minute or two. They were often able
to be very considerate of my needs. (So sweet.)
djedi
Sonia Ulan wrote:
>
> Hi Amy;
>
> I know and understand your desperation! I've been through this same
> scenario 3 times myself. I can assure you ABSOLUTELY, your 16 month old
> will indeed be able to sleep on his own, without nursing when he is
> mature and ready, on his time. .......
Tracy Oldfield
Maybe your son would also be satisfied with some back
rubs or another form
of comfort to replace some of those nursings. I've
heard other moms say
their kids didn't nurse as often if they left a light
on somewhere nearby or
if they gave them a high protein snack like cheese
right before bed to
satiate any hunger pangs they might have at night.
YES! I didn't remember but my elder (who self-weaned
from bed-time bottle at 3yo, but has a cup with a straw
now, to each their own, ya know? Try Kathy Dettwyler
for stuff on the 'natural' ages for weaning from
breast/bottle) had trouble sleeping through until I
gave her supper! LOL
BTW, others have said, but unschooling is about living,
therefore, Nothing is Off Topic! *grin* That's the
beauty, and this is how we get to know each other, too.
If there's something you want to know, please ask!
Can't speak for everyone, but I don't bite :-)
Tracy
rubs or another form
of comfort to replace some of those nursings. I've
heard other moms say
their kids didn't nurse as often if they left a light
on somewhere nearby or
if they gave them a high protein snack like cheese
right before bed to
satiate any hunger pangs they might have at night.
YES! I didn't remember but my elder (who self-weaned
from bed-time bottle at 3yo, but has a cup with a straw
now, to each their own, ya know? Try Kathy Dettwyler
for stuff on the 'natural' ages for weaning from
breast/bottle) had trouble sleeping through until I
gave her supper! LOL
BTW, others have said, but unschooling is about living,
therefore, Nothing is Off Topic! *grin* That's the
beauty, and this is how we get to know each other, too.
If there's something you want to know, please ask!
Can't speak for everyone, but I don't bite :-)
Tracy