[email protected]

I know that I need frequent reminders to help me come even close to being
the parent I wish I could be. I'll be sooo good for days and then blow
it by yelling or saying really stupid things to my kids. Also, my family
is tremendously stressed by dh starting his own business so he is gone a
lot but there is no paycheck yet. I tend to take out my frustrations at
dh on the kids and I know that is so wrong! Ironically, that is how I
was raised, by mom always complaining to me about how mad she was at
every one else but never telling them. At least I can recognize it, as
that is the first step to changing something. Dh is a total optimist and
when I share my frustrations with him he just tells me not to worry, etc.
Funny, his optimism was one of the main attractions, and now it
sometimes drives me crazy!! :-)

This probably doesn't help you any Tracy, but you aren't alone! I have
the books and cassette tape program to go with Liberated Parents,
Liberated Children and the How to Talk... When I am in the middle of
reading it, I can do a better job. Have thought about doing a workshop
locally. I wonder if it could be done on-line. Hmmm, something to
think about after the holidays....

Speaking of support, I enjoy hearing all the views on this list, as I
also need frequent reminders that unschooling really does work!
Sometimes I worry that I'm not doing enough"teaching" or whatever, then
my kids will do something that shows me how they are learning sooo much.

Mary Ellen
We just pretended to be ourselves
riding on the train.
"How Children Learn"

Deirdre Malfatto

> This probably doesn't help you any Tracy, but you aren't alone! I have
> the books and cassette tape program to go with Liberated Parents,
> Liberated Children and the How to Talk... When I am in the middle of
> reading it, I can do a better job. Have thought about doing a workshop
> locally. I wonder if it could be done on-line. Hmmm, something to
> think about after the holidays....

I would be very interested in doing an online workshop if it is at all possible.
The problem would be that one can't really do role playing on line. The
author of "loving your child is not enough" lives right near me -- I keep
thinking I should find out if she still does workshops, but my 2-year-old's not
quite ready to give me up for the weekly evening out yet anyway.

Deirdre in NYC

Tracy Oldfield

Yeah, I know what you mean. What frustrates me is that
in the past I've 'got it,' but it seems to be slipping
further away. I can empathise with the whole self-
employed thing, too! And don't you feel patronised
when someone starts with the 'don't worry your little
head, dear' speech? UGH! LOL

I don't want another email list, I've looked at the TCS
and Continuum Network, I want some real-time
conversation, even if it's only 'chat,' so that I'm not
spending even more time emailing. Maybe we could talk
a HRE Leader into it? (but that would only be for
members :-( ) Or if anyone else knows anyone?? I know
of someone who's a counsellor, who works with ADHD
support groups, who's offered, actually. Maybe we
could round up say 10 people and get something started
in January? I'll ask her next weekend, I'd imagine
she's a little busy with Yule preparations right now.

OK it's on my to-do list! LOL

Tracy

>>>I know that I need frequent reminders to help me
come even close to being
the parent I wish I could be. I'll be sooo good for
days and then blow
it by yelling or saying really stupid things to my
kids. Also, my family
is tremendously stressed by dh starting his own
business so he is gone a
lot but there is no paycheck yet. I tend to take out
my frustrations at
dh on the kids and I know that is so wrong!
Ironically, that is how I
was raised, by mom always complaining to me about how
mad she was at
every one else but never telling them. At least I can
recognize it, as
that is the first step to changing something. Dh is a
total optimist and
when I share my frustrations with him he just tells me
not to worry, etc.
Funny, his optimism was one of the main attractions,
and now it
sometimes drives me crazy!! :-)

Tracy Oldfield

Oooh, now that would be cool, wonder if she does stuff
online!

Tracy

> This probably doesn't help you any Tracy, but you
aren't alone! I have
> the books and cassette tape program to go with
Liberated Parents,
> Liberated Children and the How to Talk... When I am
in the middle of
> reading it, I can do a better job. Have thought
about doing a workshop
> locally. I wonder if it could be done on-line.
Hmmm, something to
> think about after the holidays....

I would be very interested in doing an online workshop
if it is at all possible. 
The problem would be that one can't really do role
playing on line. The 
author of "loving your child is not enough" lives right
near me -- I keep 
thinking I should find out if she still does workshops,
but my 2-year-old's not 
quite ready to give me up for the weekly evening out
yet anyway.

Deirdre in NYC

Kerry Kibort

Maybe we
could round up say 10 people and get something started

in January?
Count me in on this, please. Hearing you say the
things that have been rattling my cage lately , wow!
You mean someone else feels like this?
Kerry
racy Oldfield <tracy.oldfield@...> wrote:
> Yeah, I know what you mean. What frustrates me is
> that
> in the past I've 'got it,' but it seems to be
> slipping
> further away. I can empathise with the whole self-
> employed thing, too! And don't you feel patronised
> when someone starts with the 'don't worry your
> little
> head, dear' speech? UGH! LOL
>
> I don't want another email list, I've looked at the
> TCS
> and Continuum Network, I want some real-time
> conversation, even if it's only 'chat,' so that I'm
> not
> spending even more time emailing. Maybe we could
> talk
> a HRE Leader into it? (but that would only be for
> members :-( ) Or if anyone else knows anyone?? I
> know
> of someone who's a counsellor, who works with ADHD
> support groups, who's offered, actually. Maybe we
> could round up say 10 people and get something
> started
> in January? I'll ask her next weekend, I'd imagine
> she's a little busy with Yule preparations right
> now.
>
> OK it's on my to-do list! LOL
>
> Tracy
>
> >>>I know that I need frequent reminders to help me
> come even close to being
> the parent I wish I could be. I'll be sooo good for
>
> days and then blow
> it by yelling or saying really stupid things to my
> kids. Also, my family
> is tremendously stressed by dh starting his own
> business so he is gone a
> lot but there is no paycheck yet. I tend to take
> out
> my frustrations at
> dh on the kids and I know that is so wrong!
> Ironically, that is how I
> was raised, by mom always complaining to me about
> how
> mad she was at
> every one else but never telling them. At least I
> can
> recognize it, as
> that is the first step to changing something. Dh is
> a
> total optimist and
> when I share my frustrations with him he just tells
> me
> not to worry, etc.
> Funny, his optimism was one of the main
> attractions,
> and now it
> sometimes drives me crazy!! :-)
> 
>
>

[email protected]

Yes, in-person support is the best. Several of us in our homeschool
playgroup have had days where we told the kids we HAVE to go to park day
because I (the mom) need to spend time with my friends!

I coerced dd #1 to wean and wish I'd done it differently. Now I'm
getting a second chance! I can tell dd #2 is nearly done and I am ready
to move beyond this stage too. But it really is another trust issue -
trusting that our children will walk, talk, read, wean, etc, when they
are ready. We can push them to do these things sooner, but what is
gained by forcing them?

It's so true that the process of nursing and weaning is more important
than the age. In our society, any baby who is breastfed to the first
birthday is a lucky baby indeed! It is also a relationship between mom
and child. I think it's fine for a mom to set limits with an older
nursling as long as you are willing to be flexible in order to meet the
child's needs. Some nusing sessions are as much habit as need, such as
nursing during the bedtime stories in our house. As with any other
habit, it may take a change in routines. When dh reads the bedtime
stories, dd often falls asleep without nursing.

Mary Ellen
We just pretended to be ourselves
riding on the train.
"How Children Learn"

Tracy Oldfield

OK. Can everyone who's interested in this email me
offlist? tracy.oldfield@... That way I can
sort folk out easier, get a list together and put out
info when we're organised. Though I get the feeling
there may be alot of takers! BTW, in the meantime,
there's the parentingtoolbox website which has an anger
management group starting today, don't know if it's
full or closed yet.

Tracy



Maybe we 
could round up say 10 people and get something started

in January? 
Count me in on this, please. Hearing you say the
things that have been rattling my cage lately , wow!
You mean someone else feels like this? 
Kerry

Bobbie

"Some nusing sessions are as much
habit as need, such as
nursing during the bedtime stories in our house. As
with any other
habit, it may take a change in routines. When dh
reads the bedtime
stories, dd often falls asleep without nursing.

Mary Ellen"

I agree, as when I was weaning my dd, she would,
whenever she got stressed or upset in any way, start
like she was going to lay down in my lap and have
nummies and then catch herself and it realize she
didn't actually WANT them right then but was just
doing it out of habit.
("oh. (giggle) I don't want nummies.")

Also, I found nursing her to sleep actually a HELP in
weaning her, cuz alot of the times, when she was
really tired, "nummies" would just knock her out as
though it was spiked with valium. Well, becuz my kids
have inherited my insomnia/distaste for sleep (going
away as I get older, <g>), in weaning her, we worked
our way down to only bedtime nursing and then she
would eventually refuse nummies when I offered,
thinking she would get more awake time that way. Not
slyly planned at all on my part, but convenient,
nonetheless, cuz then she felt it was her own decision
and during the day was just too busy for that sort of
thing. :)

over and snout,
Bobbie with her two cents

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[email protected]

I actually feel rather bad posting this, because I hate spamming people, but
this is for a good cause and I really need some help.


This a random plea that I'm going to be posting in several different places,
and I'm sorry if this doesn't completely fit.



I run a blog (which is like an online journal thing) located at
www.un-creatively.net/taciturn. This year, I plan on participating in the
blogathon for the first time ever. The main idea behind the blogathon is
that each blogger picks a charity or cause of their choice, gathers
sponsors, and then on July 26, posts in their blog every 30 minutes for 24
hours straight. Once the event is over, sponsors send their donations to the
charity/cause of the bloggers' choice. You can find out more about the
blogathon at www.blogathon.org. This year, I hope to raise money for the
Self Education Foundation (www.selfeducation.org), which is located in my
hometown of Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. I'm looking for people who are able
and willing to sponsor me for the event. Any and all donations will be
accepted and appreciated - even if you can only afford $1 for the entire 24
hours. If you can sponsor me, please fill out the form at
http://www.blogathon.org/Pledge.php?p=190. If you have any questions or
comments, please feel free to contact me.



As an incentive to get people to pledge, I am offering gifts/surprises to
the person who pledges the most money.



Thanks for your support.


xxoo,
Sue
www.un-creatively.net
www.un-creatively.net/personal
www.un-creatively.net/taciturn