[email protected]

In a message dated 12/10/00 6:22:08 AM Eastern Standard Time,
[email protected] writes:

<< Amy my ds is "still breastfeeding" too. Which drives my sweet mother in
law
crazy. He's going to be 3 in Jan.
>>

Okay, i'll top the list with a 3 year old who still likes to nurse to fall
asleep :) Three years and 4 months actually.

cath

Vicki A. Dennis

OH, well.   There are 4 years and 9 months between  my two.     And they tandem nursed for a while!
We won't get into when each totally weaned but suffice to say we "negotiated".  Still, those early times rank among very, very sweet memories---for me as well as them.     And yes,   they do eventually stop nursing just as they eventually use a toilet and eventually learn to read!
 
Vicki
 
 
----- Original Message -----
Sent: Sunday, December 17, 2000 2:16 PM
Subject: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] nursing toddlers


Okay, i'll top the list with a 3 year old who still likes to nurse to fall
asleep :) Three years and 4 months actually.

cath 

Valerie

Okay, i'll top the list with a 3 year old who still likes to nurse to fall
asleep :) Three years and 4 months actually.

cath


Alright...here's a pop quiz:

Who wins the prize for the oldest breastfeeding child?

My eldest was only 3 years 3 months when I finally pried her off with a
crowbar. I'm sure others here can top that.

--Valerie in Tacoma

[email protected]

I nursed my youngest till she was 4 1/2 :>) -Amalia-

Yvonne C Smith

Although I know we're not the longest nursers (my longest was 2yrs.
8mos.) I have been nursing and/or pregnant for 10 years. Each child has
nursed until the next was ready to be born. This obviously did't effect
my fertility, but I didn't have my period for about 18 mos. after each
child. This also provided a nice, natural spacing between my children.
With a new baby coming and the older child being old enough to understand
that, we never had a problem with weaning either. My two youngest
children always sleep with me (whoever that may be at the time). This
too ends quiet naturally for us because at around 4 to five they have
been ready to move to their own beds.
Yvonne
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Blacks

What about 5 years and 4 days!!! I'm sure someone can top that. Remember
they are always only one day older than the day before. At least by that
age you can teach them some manners. It helps everything don't you think.
Christine

Julie

>
>
> Okay, i'll top the list with a 3 year old who still likes to nurse to fall
> asleep :) Three years and 4 months actually.
>
> cath
>
>
> Alright...here's a pop quiz:
>
> Who wins the prize for the oldest breastfeeding child?
>

I would suggest that natural weaning is the most important thing, not the
length of feeding (is this the equivalent of men's length comparisons? :) )
But that we all should get a prize, I would like a bubble bath and a bottle
of wine and no kids jumping in (the bath, not the bottle) !!!

My kids have nursed for such differing lengths of time. Only 5 1/2 months
for the first, 4 years and 9 months for the second and 2 yrs and 10 months
of tandem feeding with the third, and then they only stopped because I was a
few months pregnant and my milk production changed. now I am nursing a
lovely, cuddly 14 month old and am shocked that some people say "You're
STILL nursing her!" Too right, mate, not even half way done! :-)

Peace
Julie

> My eldest was only 3 years 3 months when I finally pried her off with a
> crowbar. I'm sure others here can top that.
>
> --Valerie in Tacoma
>
>
>
> Message boards, timely articles, a free newsletter and more!
> Check it all out at: http://www.unschooling.com
>
> Addresses:
> Post message: [email protected]
> Unsubscribe: [email protected]
> List owner: [email protected]
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>
>

Tracy Oldfield

Try '4-on-the-30th,' she'd like to still nures to
sleep, it's me who's not keen...

Tracy


Okay, i'll top the list with a 3 year old who still
likes to nurse to fall 
asleep :) Three years and 4 months actually.

cath

Tracy Oldfield

Can you teach them to not claw your back in the middle
of the night??? LOL

Tracy

What about 5 years and 4 days!!! I'm sure someone can
top that. Remember 
they are always only one day older than the day
before. At least by that 
age you can teach them some manners. It helps
everything don't you think.
Christine

Blacks

Tracey wrote:

Can you teach them to not claw your back in the middle
of the night??? LOL

Not sure about that one, but I never did teach her not to kick, push and force all the covers off in the middle of a cold night.

Christine

Laura M

Oh My God! That is my daughter to a T. The colder the night...the fewer
the covers and it just drives my dh crazy. We've gone back to a bed rail so
she can be on the outside of us instead of between. Of course then I cook
from the combined heat of the two. No wonder she kicks the covers off.
hehe)

Laura


>From: Blacks <blackadd@...>
>Reply-To: [email protected]
>To: "'[email protected]'" <[email protected]>
>Subject: RE: [Unschooling-dotcom] nursing toddlers
>Date: Tue, 19 Dec 2000 01:23:35 +1300
>
>Tracey wrote:
>
>Can you teach them to not claw your back in the middle
>of the night??? LOL
>
>Not sure about that one, but I never did teach her not to kick, push and
>force all the covers off in the middle of a cold night.
>
>Christine
>
>

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Valerie

> Who wins the prize for the oldest breastfeeding child?
>

I would suggest that natural weaning is the most important thing, not the
length of feeding (is this the equivalent of men's length comparisons? :) )
But that we all should get a prize, I would like a bubble bath and a bottle
of wine and no kids jumping in (the bath, not the bottle) !!!

**I didn't mean for it to be comparing in a competative way...I meant it
just as a trivial quiz, with the side benefit that other moms could say,
"Wow, I'm not the only one with a 5 year old who still nurses!" The bubble
bath and bottle of wine I could go for. :)

Valerie in Tacoma again

Valerie

Can you teach them to not claw your back in the middle
of the night??? LOL

Not sure about that one, but I never did teach her not to kick, push and
force all the covers off in the middle of a cold night.

Christine

It's the head-ramming in the middle of my back that bothers me the most. But
I'm too tired to carry her upstairs...

Valerie in Tacoma

dawn

i always tell moms that it's not a competition to see who can nurse the
longest. what is important is that we are all trying to do out best by
our children, and for many of us, that includes nursing. Now, if we
wanted to compete, I bet I'd win;) That 5 yo in the news recently has
NOTHING on my kids.


dawn h-s
**********
Some who support more coercive strategies assume that children will run
wild if they are not controlled. However, the children for whom this is
true typically turn out to be those accustomed to being controlled--those
who are not trusted, given explanations, encouraged to think for
themselves, helped to develop and internalize good values, and so
on. Control breeds the need for more control, which is then used to
justify the use of control.

---Alfie Kohn, Punished by Rewards, p. 33.
**********

DiamondAir

> From: "Julie" <julier@...>
> I would suggest that natural weaning is the most important thing, not the
> length of feeding (is this the equivalent of men's length comparisons?
:) )
> But that we all should get a prize, I would like a bubble bath and a
bottle
> of wine and no kids jumping in (the bath, not the bottle) !!!


I agree, and I would sure love that bath!! :-) As far as weaning parties go
(someone else mentioned), I think they can be a really lovely idea if they
celebrate a natural transition in a child's life, an important milestone. I
think they hold the potential for real harm if they are used as a bribe to
get a child to trade in something emotionally important to them for a party
and presents before they are ready to do so. If it ever came down to that
(me wanting to wean before they are ready), I'd prefer to be honest with my
child and tell them the relationship is over from my standpoint and slowly
wean them off (and acknowledge their feelings of sadness if they exist) to
throwing them a party and asking them to be happy about it.

As far as nursing kids (we're not even talking about toddlers here now, LOL
:-), my son is going on 4 1/2 and still nurses pretty frequently. I've had
to limit our nursing to in our own home only due to society's misconceptions
about this whole subject, but he still probably nurses 6 - 8 times a day
(I'm guessing) and asks more frequently than that. But he's always been a
mega-nurser, I think he nursed about hourly for the first 2 1/2 years.

My daughter is 14 months old and already nurses much less frequently than my
son. She has from birth really, she's not a comfort nurser, but is starting
to get more attached to it as she gets older. As a sidenote, I love the
sweet interchange that occurs around nursing. My daughter says "Ma!!" and I
say "Yes??" and she says "Num num!!!", so sweet. My son pretends to nurse
his Nutcracker doll that he got with his Christmas money. As a toddler he
used to "nurse" his trains and trucks.

> now I am nursing a
> lovely, cuddly 14 month old and am shocked that some people say "You're
> STILL nursing her!" Too right, mate, not even half way done! :-)


LOL, I get the same thing!

Blue Skies!
-Robin-
Mom to Mackenzie (8/28/96) "What if there was no gravity, but we all held on
to something really tight??"
and Asa (10/5/99) who says "Odwalla!" (her favorite treat at the store)
http://www.geocities.com/the_clevengers Flying Clevenger Family

dawn

> As far as nursing kids (we're not even talking about toddlers here now, LOL
> :-), my son is going on 4 1/2 and still nurses pretty frequently. I've had
> to limit our nursing to in our own home only due to society's misconceptions
> about this whole subject, but he still probably nurses 6 - 8 times a day
> (I'm guessing) and asks more frequently than that. But he's always been a
> mega-nurser, I think he nursed about hourly for the first 2 1/2 years.
>
>
see? He has slowed way down;) I was almost going to say that i knew
SOMEone would say, "BUt my 4 yo nurses all the time" but in actuallity,
yours has slowed down quite a bit, and those who have younger nursing
siblings tend to nurse more, too, I think. At least that is how it worked
at our house. I had to laugh when my baby had his check up at 2 mos and
the doctor asked, "How many years do you plan to nurse him?" Since my
other sons were sitting right there, I almost answered, "Which one?"
When I was first pregnant, with a baby due at the beginning of December, a
LLLL said at a meeting to take time to sit in the dark, with the tree
lights on, and nurse your baby and enjoy it because that might be the last
xmas you get to do that. Well, that year, I did it with my newborn,
hoping that he would still be nursing the following xmas. The following
year, I was pregnant and nursing him and hoping he wouldn't wean and he'd
nurse at least until he was two. That year, when he had turned 2, I
assumed it would be my last year to sit in the dark and nurse by the tree.
The following year, I nursed my new baby and my 3 yo, again, assuming (and
hoping to be honest) that that year would be the last for my older son.
Well, last year was the last time. And the last nursing session was on
the couch, in the dark, with only the tree lights on. It has been a year
since he last nursed. He was way over two. I really enjoyed the last 18
months of his nursing and it made up for all the frustrations from
earlier. I figure my 5.5 year old will follow a similar pattern.
dawn

[email protected]

You aren't alone. Mine was 5 in August. But very few people know that
she isn't weaned. This came up on another list recently. How can we
ever make extended nursing seem within the range of normal if we "keep it
in the closet"?
Mary Ellen

**I didn't mean for it to be comparing in a competative way...I meant it
just as a trivial quiz, with the side benefit that other moms could say,
"Wow, I'm not the only one with a 5 year old who still nurses!" The
bubble
bath and bottle of wine I could go for. :)

Tracy Oldfield

Like home-ed in some ways. I don't keep it in the
closet on purpose. Thing is, people assume that if you
breastfed in the first place, the child has weaned by
now, unless they know different. So no-one asks, and
it tends not to come up in conversation. Maybe we need
to have a breastfeeding children' week (as oppose to
the baby-oriented usual ones)

Tracy

You aren't alone. Mine was 5 in August. But very few
people know that
she isn't weaned. This came up on another list
recently. How can we
ever make extended nursing seem within the range of
normal if we "keep it
in the closet"?
Mary Ellen

Valerie

Like home-ed in some ways. I don't keep it in the
closet on purpose. Thing is, people assume that if you
breastfed in the first place, the child has weaned by
now, unless they know different. So no-one asks, and
it tends not to come up in conversation. Maybe we need
to have a breastfeeding children' week (as oppose to
the baby-oriented usual ones)

Tracy

I've found that when the 3 year old tries to pull your shirt off in public
and yells "mocha!" at the top of her lungs, it tends to let the cat out of
the bag.

--Valerie in Tacoma

kalima

I am just jumping in here since I am new but I think it is ssssoo
wonderful you all have nursed so long. My kids all seemed to wean around
14 months. Broke my heart each time as I had always thought we would
nurse so much longer. I had friends who nursed till thier kids were 4 or
so. My one year old nurses and shows no sign of slowing down like his
older siblings. I sure hope he will nurse longer than the others. He
really likes to sleep with us to though I think my husband is getting a
bit tired of feet in his neck at night. *L*

Shelly

Deirdre Malfatto

> It's the head-ramming in the middle of my back that bothers me the most. But
> I'm too tired to carry her upstairs...
>
> Valerie in Tacoma

I can handle all that. It's when I haven't gone to bed yet and my 2-year-old
wakes up crying because my 4-year-old is headbanging her in her sleep
and then I have to lie down and nurse her (the 2-year-old) for 20 minutes
that I could do without.

Deirdre in NYC

Tracy Oldfield

Oh, yeah, that's why my two don't sleep together...

Tracy

>
I can handle all that. It's when I haven't gone to bed
yet and my 2-year-old 
wakes up crying because my 4-year-old is headbanging
her in her sleep 
and then I have to lie down and nurse her (the 2-year-
old) for 20 minutes 
that I could do without.

Deirdre in NYC

[email protected]

In a message dated 12/18/00 5:08:09 PM Pacific Standard Time,
kalima@... writes:

<< He
really likes to sleep with us to though I think my husband is getting a
bit tired of feet in his neck at night. *L*
>>
<snicker> I think this is a requirement for any sleep sharing arrangements
involving small children LOL
Kathy

Bobbie

<< Amy my ds is "still breastfeeding" too. Which
> drives my sweet mother in
> law
> crazy. He's going to be 3 in Jan.
>>
>
> Okay, i'll top the list with a 3 year old who still
> likes to nurse to fall
> asleep :) Three years and 4 months actually.
>
> cath
>


well, LOVELY, I say. Yes, I am just now getting around
to replying to this old mail. I'm new here, and
haven't actually posted to this mail list yet, but so
far have enjoyed hurriedly popping in and reading all
of you guys' conversations. So I'm an eavesdropper, so
what. My name's Bobbie and am very much enjoying
unschooling with my 5 year old and 3 year old. Both of
which i nursed longer than most people other than my
dad (just cuz he didn't like depriving them of
anything) and my midwife (thank heavens for midwives)
would have liked. with my youngest (dd) we were both
pretty ready for quitting at 2 and a half, but if I
had to do it over again, I think I weaned my son too
early at 22 months due to many outside circumstances,
and have many regrets. So I say, Nurse on, lovely
ladies.
over and snout


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Bobbie

"I love the
sweet interchange that occurs around nursing. My
daughter says "Ma!!" and I
say "Yes??" and she says "Num num!!!", so sweet. "


yay! I've never heard anyone else call it "num num"
before except my family. When I was little my mom (and
me apparently) called it num num. (My mom had 6 kids,
me being the 5th and the first one she nursed. Said
she was looked on like a wierd hippie person cuz she
was breastfeeding. A friend of hers was recalling
jokingly how they used to have wear these mega amounts
of clothes so they would be carefully and completely
covered up, even in summer, go in the very most back
room of wherever you were, turn the lights off and
shut the door and put a blanket over you, even despite
all the extra clothes you were wearing.

I doubt it was actually as extreme as she made it
sound, but you would think that since that was 20 or
so years ago, things would have changed alot. Women
have gotten ballsier about it, I think, but
unfortunately society is almost still as bad.

On the subject of nursing, (even though you are
probably all done with it by now, I'm so slow in
replying), how have you all dealt with public nursing?

All of my friends and family always joked and gave me
a hard time (lovingly of course, in good fun, cuz in
reality they admired it), warning people who were new
to our circle that I had a tendency to just "whip it
out" at any given moment.

over and snout.
-Bobbie


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Cory and Amy Nelson

Hi Bobbie,

Most people think it's strange when I say I'm more comfortable nursing my
18-month-old dd in public now than when she was an infant, but I'm sure you
guys understand. Of course I haven't always been comfortable nip, but I've
always done it when Accalia has needed or wanted it. Now she usually only
wants to nip when we're at restaurants, and I've gotten some strange looks
but I don't think people are always sure what they see. LOL

I think my favorite time nip was when Accalia was around a year old and dh,
me and Accalia went to an indoors Indigo Girls concert. Accalia was the only
child there, and I'm sure people around us were a little concerned about how
she would act. They didn't have to worry because I think she fell asleep
nursing right after the opening act. I'm still amazed because that was a
loud concert!

Amy
Mama to Accalia (6/14/99)
"The hardest to learn was the least complicated" -Indigo Girls

> On the subject of nursing, (even though you are
> probably all done with it by now, I'm so slow in
> replying), how have you all dealt with public nursing?

Demetria

Both of my boys have gone to concerts for years, over 50 for the four year
old, easily and they go to be around 8:30 everytime.
It is great. They love the music, dance like mad and then go to bed. What
would you expect from deadheads babies LOL

Demetria
http://www.demetria.com
----- Original Message -----
From: "Cory and Amy Nelson" <amynelson3@...>
To: <[email protected]>
Sent: Sunday, December 31, 2000 9:25 AM
Subject: Re: nip was[Unschooling-dotcom] Re: nursing toddlers


> Hi Bobbie,
>
> Most people think it's strange when I say I'm more comfortable nursing my
> 18-month-old dd in public now than when she was an infant, but I'm sure
you
> guys understand. Of course I haven't always been comfortable nip, but I've
> always done it when Accalia has needed or wanted it. Now she usually only
> wants to nip when we're at restaurants, and I've gotten some strange looks
> but I don't think people are always sure what they see. LOL
>
> I think my favorite time nip was when Accalia was around a year old and
dh,
> me and Accalia went to an indoors Indigo Girls concert. Accalia was the
only
> child there, and I'm sure people around us were a little concerned about
how
> she would act. They didn't have to worry because I think she fell asleep
> nursing right after the opening act. I'm still amazed because that was a
> loud concert!
>
> Amy
> Mama to Accalia (6/14/99)
> "The hardest to learn was the least complicated" -Indigo Girls
>
> > On the subject of nursing, (even though you are
> > probably all done with it by now, I'm so slow in
> > replying), how have you all dealt with public nursing?
>
>
>
> Message boards, timely articles, a free newsletter and more!
> Check it all out at: http://www.unschooling.com
>
> Addresses:
> Post message: [email protected]
> Unsubscribe: [email protected]
> List owner: [email protected]
> List settings page: http://www.egroups.com/group/Unschooling-dotcom
>
>
>

Sue

> I doubt it was actually as extreme as she made it
> sound, but you would think that since that was 20 or
> so years ago, things would have changed alot. Women
> have gotten ballsier about it, I think, but
> unfortunately society is almost still as bad.

I nursed in the 70s, 80s and 90s, my kids range in age from 27 to 4, and
nursing, like birthing changed a lot in those 23 years. With my first, who
I weaned at 4 months because I believed people who told me my milk probably
wasn't any good because he was a little slow at gaining weight [probably
because I had mostly fed him at the four hourly intervals prescribed by the
"experts". With his birth I was shaved, endured an enema and was flat on
my back with my legs in stirrups, in spite of that it was a very good birth
attended by a midwife, no episiotomy, no tear. He was taken away after
about 30 minutes, and when he was brought out of the nursery for a feed they
also brough a bottle of formula "because you don't have enough milk". 12
years later when #6 was born, they no longer shaved you or did the enema
thing, another 3 1/2 years later the babies roomed in with their Moms
through the day, another 5 1/2 years later the babies were with you for the
entire hospital stay, and you were even encouraged to put the side up on the
bed and have the baby sleep with you.

As to public nursing, I just didn't with the first, I guess I started doing
it very discreetly [under a baby blanket] with #3 now aged 25, by the time
my "baby" was born I'd "just whip it out at any given moment"...

I weaned her just after her third birthday as I had to have breast surgery.

Sue

dawn

I always nursed in public until my kids hit 4 or so. I really never
thought much about it with my middle son, but I was a little uncomfortable
at times with my older. Got over that really quickly, though. I've
gotten to the point where nursing is like breathing and I just don't think
about not breathing in public. At some times, when it might have negative
repercussions on the child, I might try to ask him to wait until later or
until we get home. I tell them that it will make the other poor people
who either aren't still nursing or whose parents weaned them too early or
who never nursed jealous to see him nursing. Being sensitive, considerate
little boyz, they have always been willing to wait so that others'
feelings aren't hurt.


dawn h-s
**********
Some who support more coercive strategies assume that children will run
wild if they are not controlled. However, the children for whom this is
true typically turn out to be those accustomed to being controlled--those
who are not trusted, given explanations, encouraged to think for
themselves, helped to develop and internalize good values, and so
on. Control breeds the need for more control, which is then used to
justify the use of control.

---Alfie Kohn, Punished by Rewards, p. 33.
**********

Cory and Amy Nelson

This coming summer I want to make sure Accalia gets to at least one outdoor
concert. I wish Lilith Fair was still going because dh and I loved that. Oh
well, I know there's a weekend folk concert/camping trip not too far from
us.

And I'm getting some great images of your kids all decked out in tie dye,
Demetria!

Amy
Mama to Accalia (6/14/99)
"The hardest to learn was the least complicated" -Indigo Girls

> Both of my boys have gone to concerts for years, over 50 for the four year
> old, easily and they go to be around 8:30 everytime.
> It is great. They love the music, dance like mad and then go to bed. What
> would you expect from deadheads babies LOL