John O. Andersen

Raising Individuals in a Team Player Society
By John O. Andersen



As a parent, I'm concerned about our society's unqualified acceptance of
the team player ethos. Yes, I support the need for cooperation, and
recognize that team play can be a good thing. However, if carried too far
(as I believe our culture is doing), the team player mentality can damage
individualism--the basis of a meaningful life. So in raising our two
children, my spouse and I are taking steps to protect them from the barrage
of team player messages which seem to come from every direction.

It would be easy to make the case that in spite of claims to the contrary,
our culture is becoming increasingly homogeneous. Too many people are
following the same life script: get the dream house, take surf 'n' sand or
amusement park vacations, send the kiddies to college, learn "new" ideas
from bestseller self-help books, or daytime talk shows, etc., etc. It's
not that those things are bad. Rather, it's the zombie-like way so many
people are marching through life on intellectual autopilot apparently
content that all of the important thinking has already been done for them.

Human beings are capable of far more than just a life of jumping from one
bandwagon to the next. Achieving personal authenticity is critical in
human development. Choosing to follow a one-size-fits-all lifestyle does
not lead to authenticity. It leads to blandness and boredom.

To help our two children grow up to be real people rather than carbon-copy
team players, we try to demonstrate the joy of thinking and acting
independently, and expose them to as much diversity as possible. We hope
this will help them develop eclectic tastes, and subsequently give them the
strength to not spend their lives as unimaginative conformists.
Specifically, here are some of the countercultural ideas we are teaching
them:



Questioning of competition

While competition can be fun, we as a family have found many other
pastimes which are more satisfying. Whether it be building play forts,
finger-painting, sculpting, cartoon drawing, genealogical research, museum
visits, family camping trips, or just writing, we all have hobbies which
fully engage us and have little or no link to competition.

Competition has a place in a market-driven economy, but we dispute that it
has any constructive purpose in our personal and family life. We believe
our "duty" to compete is limited to the small carpet cleaning company which
I own and operate. I compete by offering a professional service at a
reasonable price. Beyond that, we feel that competition is more often
than not, a distraction from the more satisfying things we like to do. So,
we avoid it.



Goal setting not necessary

We teach our children to listen to their heart when choosing their
interests. The objective is to align their lives with the activities for
which they have a passion and love. This doesn't mean to run away from
unpleasant or difficult tasks, but rather to shun those things which induce
them to put on a phony face, or otherwise behave inauthentically.

Too often, people use goal setting as a way to rationalize greed or
dishonesty. For instance, a salesperson who wants to earn enough money in
order to afford a dream home, may use that goal to distract his mind from
the twinges of guilt he feels when he manipulates customer behavior through
half-truths or flattery.

We hope to show our children that they don't need to compromise their
ethics, or use goals as hallucinogenic drugs, to get them to do or say
things which contradict their personal ethics. Rather, we teach them that
if they align their choices with their heart and passion, they will have
very little need for goals. Their passion for life will be all they need
to drive them on.



Living at high speed is living on the cheap

We believe that always being "on the go" stifles individualism and
creativity. True, such a life can be exciting, but it takes a heavy toll
on those quiet moments so necessary for thinking, and mental regrouping.

During one 18 month period I lived in a 200+ year old cottage in a small
village in rural Oxfordshire, England. My favorite pastime back then was
to spend evenings and weekends strolling through the village and across the
surrounding farms to the neighboring villages. There was an ancient Roman
villa in the area which had an unusually well-preserved mosaic tile floor.
There were old barns still functional after centuries of use. There were
small shops and picturesque village greens.

Leisurely country walks to such places filled many of my hours. Those
walks helped me to learn about rural England and gave me many hours to just
think about life in general. Had I spent my leisure time with fellow
Americans on the base, attending meetings, sporting events, shopping for
knickknacks, or just hanging out at the Base Exchange (the closest
equivalent to the mall), I would have had fewer of those walks.

These days, we as a family carefully scrutinize our outside time
commitments. We've already figured out what brings us the greatest joy:
time together, time for creativity, time for unstructured play. So we are
vigilant against anything which may subtract from that most precious time.

Our hope is that we're instilling in our children a love of solitude, of
space between activities, of preserving a not insignificant chunk of each
day for relaxation. Hopefully this love will stay with them as they grow
up and be more important to them than being part of the crowd which is
chronically busy.



Money is just one of many types of wealth

There's no escaping the fact that we must concern ourselves with money.
However, we hope to convey to our children that money is just one form of
wealth and in many ways inferior to the other forms they might pursue.

We see wealth opportunities all around us. A person, for instance, could
devote a lot energy to cultivating her brain to the point where it is
overflowing with original ideas. Others would recognize this and consider
it a privilege just to talk with such a person.

Is knowing the names of all of the plants in your region, recognizing
subtle weather phenomena, or understanding animal behavior another type of
wealth? I like to think so. Brain wealth is the sort which travels well,
opens doors to interesting encounters, and promises a lifetime of richly
satisfying and often unexpected learning pleasure.
.
Another type of wealth is a life filled with diverse experiences. Some
gifted and often misunderstood people seek such wealth in the context of
their career path. For instance, a man could start as an engineer, then
become a painter, then a janitor, then a plumber--whatever strikes his
fancy. Though such people may have trouble in the conventional job market,
they are among the most fascinating and multi-talented people around.
Certainly they possess incalculable wealth.



Conclusion: Waging the battle against tyrannical team play

It's time we as a culture fought back against the team player ethos which
is carrying out a mass slaughter of individualism. It's time we reclaimed
our lives and scripted them with the unique ideas which all of our brains
and hearts are capable of producing. The way to start this fight is to
foster in children a love of individualism, the time to develop it, and the
courage to make it more valuable to them than peer acceptance.

In raising our two children, my spouse and I hope that we can show them by
our example that it's possible to live as a happy and thriving individual
even in a world seemingly dominated by team players.

Any questions or comments should be directed to andersen@...

Tea Lover Denise

Wow. I just finished my morning tea and toast, but this article was
definitely more nourishing. Thank you for some excellent food for
thought. And I couldn't agree more.

Denise, South Carolina

<Raising Individuals in a Team Player Society by John O. Andersen. "As a
parent, I'm concerned about our society's unqualified acceptance of the
team player ethos...">

Gregg Thorn

John, from an Australian point of view, and allowing for differences in
accent, I'd say you were spot on, and I was encouraged by your 'article' -
it was 'hitting the mark' for me as a parent and as a person.
We run our own small window cleaning company and my philosophy regarding
'competition' is the same. Actually, when 'challenged' with "I've got
another quote -will that help you reconsider yours?" I tell them that they
should take the cheapest one and run with it. I'm just not interested in
getting onto the mindset that is consumed by competition.
Personally, I want to escape window cleaning and get into 'heart's
desire'stuff - science journalism, song writing, kid's stories and Sci-fi TV
scripts. But its hard to get into this realm of vocation, and I've just got
to do what I've got to do - at 48 with 4 kids under 9, and a lovely wife -
over 9 - just to keep the wolf from the door.
We've been homeschooling - if you can cll it that - for 30months - so we are
farily new - and still call it 'our experiment'.
As the editor of our local Home-Based Learning Network, I'm always on the
lookout for encouraging material to use on our official newsletter -
"Learning Matters" - and I was wondering if I could have your permission to
reprint your article in our Sept edition? Please!!!!
We live in Perth -the end of the Earth - most isolated city in the world -
and closer to Singapore than we are to Sydney, way over on the other side of
our country.
Gregg (& Sue + Teayl, Brianna, Sierrah & Eric-the-boy) Thorn


Gandalfgregg - suffering a midlife crisis trying to conjure up something w
orthwhile to say about hobbits.
----------
> From: "John O. Andersen" <andersen@...>
> To: "Unschooling Dotcom" <[email protected]>
> Subject: [Unschooling-dotcom] Subversive child rearing
> Date: 7 Jul 1999 05:59:41 -0700
>
>From: "John O. Andersen" <andersen@...>
>
>Raising Individuals in a Team Player Society
>By John O. Andersen
>

John O. Andersen

Gregg,

Thanks for the letter.

> As the editor of our local Home-Based Learning Network, I'm always on the
> lookout for encouraging material to use on our official newsletter -
> "Learning Matters" - and I was wondering if I could have your permission
to
> reprint your article in our Sept edition? Please!!!!

Yes, that's fine. Is this an Internet publication or a paper one? In
either case, would you send me a copy and also include my email address
with the article so readers can write me if they so desire.

John Andersen

B & T Simpson

I found this to be both true to what I feel deep inside and inspiring!!!
Tanya Ohio

>From: "John O. Andersen" <andersen@...>
>
>Raising Individuals in a Team Player Society
>By John O. Andersen
>
>
>
> As a parent, I'm concerned about our society's unqualified acceptance of
>the team player ethos. Yes, I support the need for cooperation, and
>recognize that team play can be a good thing. However, if carried too far
>(as I believe our culture is doing), the team player mentality can damage
>individualism--the basis of a meaningful life. So in raising our two
>children, my spouse and I are taking steps to protect them from the barrage
>of team player messages which seem to come from every direction.
>
> It would be easy to make the case that in spite of claims to the contrary,
>our culture is becoming increasingly homogeneous. Too many people are
>following the same life script: get the dream house, take surf 'n' sand or
>amusement park vacations, send the kiddies to college, learn "new" ideas
>from bestseller self-help books, or daytime talk shows, etc., etc. It's
>not that those things are bad. Rather, it's the zombie-like way so many
>people are marching through life on intellectual autopilot apparently
>content that all of the important thinking has already been done for them.
>
> Human beings are capable of far more than just a life of jumping from one
>bandwagon to the next. Achieving personal authenticity is critical in
>human development. Choosing to follow a one-size-fits-all lifestyle does
>not lead to authenticity. It leads to blandness and boredom.
>
> To help our two children grow up to be real people rather than carbon-copy
>team players, we try to demonstrate the joy of thinking and acting
>independently, and expose them to as much diversity as possible. We hope
>this will help them develop eclectic tastes, and subsequently give them the
>strength to not spend their lives as unimaginative conformists.
>Specifically, here are some of the countercultural ideas we are teaching
>them:
>
>
>
>Questioning of competition
>
> While competition can be fun, we as a family have found many other
>pastimes which are more satisfying. Whether it be building play forts,
>finger-painting, sculpting, cartoon drawing, genealogical research, museum
>visits, family camping trips, or just writing, we all have hobbies which
>fully engage us and have little or no link to competition.
>
> Competition has a place in a market-driven economy, but we dispute that it
>has any constructive purpose in our personal and family life. We believe
>our "duty" to compete is limited to the small carpet cleaning company which
>I own and operate. I compete by offering a professional service at a
>reasonable price. Beyond that, we feel that competition is more often
>than not, a distraction from the more satisfying things we like to do. So,
>we avoid it.
>
>
>
>Goal setting not necessary
>
> We teach our children to listen to their heart when choosing their
>interests. The objective is to align their lives with the activities for
>which they have a passion and love. This doesn't mean to run away from
>unpleasant or difficult tasks, but rather to shun those things which induce
>them to put on a phony face, or otherwise behave inauthentically.
>
> Too often, people use goal setting as a way to rationalize greed or
>dishonesty. For instance, a salesperson who wants to earn enough money in
>order to afford a dream home, may use that goal to distract his mind from
>the twinges of guilt he feels when he manipulates customer behavior through
>half-truths or flattery.
>
> We hope to show our children that they don't need to compromise their
>ethics, or use goals as hallucinogenic drugs, to get them to do or say
>things which contradict their personal ethics. Rather, we teach them that
>if they align their choices with their heart and passion, they will have
>very little need for goals. Their passion for life will be all they need
>to drive them on.
>
>
>
>Living at high speed is living on the cheap
>
> We believe that always being "on the go" stifles individualism and
>creativity. True, such a life can be exciting, but it takes a heavy toll
>on those quiet moments so necessary for thinking, and mental regrouping.
>
> During one 18 month period I lived in a 200+ year old cottage in a small
>village in rural Oxfordshire, England. My favorite pastime back then was
>to spend evenings and weekends strolling through the village and across the
>surrounding farms to the neighboring villages. There was an ancient Roman
>villa in the area which had an unusually well-preserved mosaic tile floor.
>There were old barns still functional after centuries of use. There were
>small shops and picturesque village greens.
>
> Leisurely country walks to such places filled many of my hours. Those
>walks helped me to learn about rural England and gave me many hours to just
>think about life in general. Had I spent my leisure time with fellow
>Americans on the base, attending meetings, sporting events, shopping for
>knickknacks, or just hanging out at the Base Exchange (the closest
>equivalent to the mall), I would have had fewer of those walks.
>
> These days, we as a family carefully scrutinize our outside time
>commitments. We've already figured out what brings us the greatest joy:
>time together, time for creativity, time for unstructured play. So we are
>vigilant against anything which may subtract from that most precious time.
>
> Our hope is that we're instilling in our children a love of solitude, of
>space between activities, of preserving a not insignificant chunk of each
>day for relaxation. Hopefully this love will stay with them as they grow
>up and be more important to them than being part of the crowd which is
>chronically busy.
>
>
>
>Money is just one of many types of wealth
>
> There's no escaping the fact that we must concern ourselves with money.
>However, we hope to convey to our children that money is just one form of
>wealth and in many ways inferior to the other forms they might pursue.
>
> We see wealth opportunities all around us. A person, for instance, could
>devote a lot energy to cultivating her brain to the point where it is
>overflowing with original ideas. Others would recognize this and consider
>it a privilege just to talk with such a person.
>
> Is knowing the names of all of the plants in your region, recognizing
>subtle weather phenomena, or understanding animal behavior another type of
>wealth? I like to think so. Brain wealth is the sort which travels well,
>opens doors to interesting encounters, and promises a lifetime of richly
>satisfying and often unexpected learning pleasure.
>.
> Another type of wealth is a life filled with diverse experiences. Some
>gifted and often misunderstood people seek such wealth in the context of
>their career path. For instance, a man could start as an engineer, then
>become a painter, then a janitor, then a plumber--whatever strikes his
>fancy. Though such people may have trouble in the conventional job market,
>they are among the most fascinating and multi-talented people around.
>Certainly they possess incalculable wealth.
>
>
>
>Conclusion: Waging the battle against tyrannical team play
>
> It's time we as a culture fought back against the team player ethos which
>is carrying out a mass slaughter of individualism. It's time we reclaimed
>our lives and scripted them with the unique ideas which all of our brains
>and hearts are capable of producing. The way to start this fight is to
>foster in children a love of individualism, the time to develop it, and the
>courage to make it more valuable to them than peer acceptance.
>
> In raising our two children, my spouse and I hope that we can show them by
>our example that it's possible to live as a happy and thriving individual
>even in a world seemingly dominated by team players.
>
>Any questions or comments should be directed to andersen@...
>
>
>
>--------------------------- ONElist Sponsor ----------------------------
>
>ONElist: your connection to online communities.
>
>------------------------------------------------------------------------
>Check it out!
>http://www.unschooling.com
>
>

Gregg Thorn

John, it's a paper one but I can send you a 'pdf' if that's ok. I'll try
sending you a pdf of our July newsletter so you can see an example (you can
download Acrobat Reader for free from Adobe if you don't already have that
software on board) - I mkght have to knock out our 'whats on' section to
minimise the size for the email. - _ I've yet to get my pdf maker in
PageMaker to do it properly for me - seems to be a current malfunction, but
I'm working on it.
Have you been home educating a long time? Why did you begin?
Down heere in down under the legal battles is still raging - we've got a
hostile govt trying to push a punitive updated Education act through - even
a multi-party review process all agreed that certain amendments should be
made, those amendments were lost when returned to the paliament where the
govt has a majority of sorts. Thjey jsut are more interested in being a big
stick than a big help.
See ya

Gregg Thorn

Gandalfgregg - suffering a midlife crisis trying to conjure up something w
orthwhile to say about hobbits.
Pls send cc to gollum@... as infrequent problems plague the curtin
address


----------
> From: "John O. Andersen" <andersen@...>
> To: [email protected]
> Subject: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] Subversive child rearing
> Date: 7 Jul 1999 09:58:48 -0700
>
>From: "John O. Andersen" <andersen@...>
>
>Gregg,
>
>Thanks for the letter.
>
>> As the editor of our local Home-Based Learning Network, I'm always on the
>> lookout for encouraging material to use on our official newsletter -
>> "Learning Matters" - and I was wondering if I could have your permission
>to
>> reprint your article in our Sept edition? Please!!!!
>
>Yes, that's fine. Is this an Internet publication or a paper one? In
>either case, would you send me a copy and also include my email address
>with the article so readers can write me if they so desire.
>
>John Andersen
>
>--------------------------- ONElist Sponsor ----------------------------
>
>Congratulations KNICKS@ONElist. Our latest story of the week.
>http://www.onelist.com
>How is ONElist changing YOUR life? Visit our homepage and let us know!
>
>------------------------------------------------------------------------
>Check it out!
>http://www.unschooling.com
>

John O. Andersen

Gregg,

Thanks. I'm downloading Acrobat right now.

> Have you been home educating a long time?

We've been doing it for two years now.

> Why did you begin?

We like the freedom it offers and the chance to give our children what we
consider to be a superior educational experience. We also wish to limit
our childrens' exposure to negative peer pressure which can easily squelch
their individuality.

John Andersen